Joey shivered as Liam’s blunt fingernails scraped across his scalp. He wanted desperately to say something flirty or seductive in response, but his brain was empty of anything but an imaginary teenaged-Joey jumping up and down and yelling ‘touch his dick!’ It was pathetic. Any game he’d prided himself on having disappeared when faced with the reality of Liam O’Reilly half-naked and touching him.

All Joey could do was press his head back into Liam’s touch and hope he knew what Joey wanted because Joey sure as hell didn’t.

Liam cursed under his breath. Keeping his hand on the back of Joey’s head, he rolled onto his side. Joey shifted so they were face to face, his head pillowed on Liam’s arm. Their mouths were inches apart. The shadows on their bodies shifted color and direction with each blink of the Christmas lights.

Joey couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Liam’s hip. He swept his thumb over the bump of bone, the back of his hand rubbing against the sheets that hid his movements.

Liam laid his hand over Joey’s, holding it in place. The blankets slipped down towards his waist. “Joey,” he said quietly. Part plea, part warning, there were layers of meaning in that word Joey couldn’t quite decipher.

Joey wanted to be brave enough to ask Liam to kiss him. That was one thing they hadn’t done.

Liam stared into Joey’s eyes in the semi-darkness like he could see inside Joey’s soul. Joey closed his eyes, afraid of what Liam might read in them.

“Gorgeous,” Liam whispered, rubbing his thumb across Joey’s lower lip.

Joey opened his eyes. “Kiss me?”

With a soft sigh, Liam closed the distance between them, pressing his mouth against Joey’s.

Joey tugged him closer with the hand on his hip. He wanted Liam to feel how hard he was from nothing more than these simple touches. Letting his mouth soften, he tried to encourage Liam to deepen the kiss.

Liam pressed against him for one glorious second, then pulled back. “This is a fucking terrible idea, Jojo.”

A whimper escaped Joey’s lips at the sound of his old nickname. No one had called him that in so long. He could barely remember the kid he had been, wide-eyed with excitement at everything, running as fast as he could to keep up with the big kids. No matter how hard he tried, one at a time, they all slipped away.

“Why?” he asked. “What’s so wrong about it?”

“I’m not a fuckin’ saint, Joey. Not a good man.” He looked so serious and sad.

What? He couldn’t mean that. “Don’t say that. You’re one of the best men I know.”

“Yeah? If I was, I wouldn’t be doing this, here, with you.”

Joey smirked. “That seems like some circular logic. We shouldn’t fool around because you’re not a good man, but the reason you’re not a good man is because you want to do this with me.”

“I’m a washed up has-been, and you’re Joey Fucking Luciano.”

And there it was. That was the barrier between Joey and the rest of the world. He could never find the words to explain how the persona he had created to help him fake a confidence he hadn’t felt as an eighteen-year-old first-round draft pick had become a cage. A mask he didn’t know how to take off. But Liam — Liam had known him before all that. “I’m nothing special.”

“That’s not true,” Liam said. “You’re fucking amazing. You’re the best player of all of us.”

“Only because I had to be. I had to work harder than anyone else just to get someone to see me. You didn’t even notice me until I picked up a hockey stick.”

“That’s not true.” Liam pushed Joey’s hair back from his face, his brow furrowed with concern.

“It’s kind of true. Even now.”

“Joey, I always see you. Believe me, I saw you today.”

“There’s more to me, you know, than what they see,” Joey said into the space between them. It was safe to say here, sheltered by the dark and the blankets, in his childhood home, held by a man who had known him before he was The Looch.

Liam’s hand never stilled. He was basically petting Joey, but it felt so good, Joey couldn’t complain. The silence stretched. Liam’s expression was so serious that Joey began to think he had said too much. Liam didn’t care, didn’t want to hear his problems. No one felt sorry for Joey.

“I know there is,” Liam said, startling Joey. “Everyone in this house knows there is.”

“Yeah?” Those were the people that mattered most to Joey.

“Yeah.” Liam said. “And I know how hard it is when you have to grow up in the public eye. Feeling like you can’t screw up, even a little, because if you do, you’re letting the team down, too.”

Joey sighed deeply and closed his eyes. “It’s exhausting. Always having to watch what you say, what you do.” He opened his eyes and turned to Liam. “Who you’re seen with.”

They had already been whispering in deference to the late hour, the people sleeping around them, and the intimacy of the moment, but Joey’s voice grew even softer with that last admission.

Liam rubbed his thumb across Joey’s bottom lip. “I know. I know what that’s like.” He stared into Joey’s eyes, and Joey could see the questions Liam wanted to ask hiding in them. Questions Joey didn’t want to think about.

“How did you do it?” He asked, deflecting the focus to Liam. “When you were my age, people took you seriously. You had your head on straight.”

Liam chuckled. “Back when I was your age, when dinosaurs roamed the earth?”

“Shut up. Stop talking like you’re over the hill. You’re only ten years older.”

“In hockey years, that’s like seventy.”

“You’re confusing it with dog years.”

Liam tried to roll onto his back, but Joey tightened his arm around him.

“Joey,” Liam said.

“Please.” Joey wasn’t above begging now. “I need this. I need you.” Liam looked conflicted, so Joey lied and gave Liam his brightest Joey Luciano smile. “Just for tonight. It’s Christmas.”

With a deep groan, Liam pushed Joey back down, covering his body with his taller and heavier one. Joey’s eyes rolled back in his head with how good it felt.

“This is a fucking terrible idea,” Liam growled.

“I know.” And he did. He wanted things from Liam he knew he couldn’t have. But he’d take what he could. “Do you want to stop?” he asked.

“No. Not even a little.”

“Me, neither.”

Hallelujah, Joey thought as Liam ducked his head down and finally kissed Joey the way he’d been wanting. The way he’d always hoped someone would kiss him. Like he was everything.

This was what he had imagined, what he needed, and what had been missing in the attic. A connection, the feeling that someone who knew the real him wanted him—loved him.

This time when they came together, it was gentler, quieter. They couldn’t risk any sounds in this crowded house. Joey held back moans as Liam explored every inch of his mouth. His legs spread and clamped against Liam’s sides, and he thrust up against the weight pinning him to the bed, rubbing his cock against Liam’s.

So good. It felt so good.

Liam’s mouth moved to Joey’s neck, his lips hot against his skin. Joey moaned as Liam bit down on the curve of his neck.

“Shh,” Liam whispered into his ear.

Joey clamped his jaw shut, biting his lip to keep quiet.

“Good boy,” Liam purred, rewarding Joey with another nip to his throat.

“Ah!” Joey’s arms tightened convulsively around Liam’s shoulders, his nails digging into the skin. “Fuck,” he said almost soundlessly.

Liam chuckled against his skin as he moved lower, kicking the blankets to the floor as he went. “You like that?” he asked with a lick across Joey’s nipple that almost made him cry out again. “Do you like my mouth?” He flicked his tongue across the hard nub again, and Joey shuddered. Liam lifted his head, trapping Joey’s gaze. “Or do you like being a good boy for me?”

Holy fuck. Joey’s hips thrust up, and his cock throbbed painfully.

Liam’s eyes darkened as the pupils expanded; his hands tightened on Joey’s arms. “Don’t move,” he ordered. “Don’t make a sound.”

Joey held his breath as Liam kissed and bit down his body. The scratch of his beard woke up the nerve endings of every patch of skin it brushed across. When Liam wrapped his big hand around Joey’s cock, he had to bite down on his fist to keep the whimpers in.

“Watch me,” Liam said, his mouth hovering over Joey’s cock.

Joey struggled to brace himself up on his elbows. A whine escaped his clenched teeth as Liam looked him in the eye and licked up the length of his rock-hard cock.

“Good boy.” Liam smiled, the tip of Joey’s cock resting against his bottom lip.

Holy fuck. Oh, God. It the most evilly pornographic thing and the most pornographically evil thing Joey had seen. He’d be lucky if he lasted fifteen seconds. He was either going to have the best orgasm of his life or a heart attack from how hard his heart was pounding in his chest.

Then Liam opened up and took Liam deep into his mouth, and Joey knew it would be both. He was going to die from an orgasm-induced heart attack.

Liam laid his arm like an iron bar across the tops of Joey’s thighs, pinning him to the bed. Joey’s leg and stomach muscles trembled as he fought the urge to thrust deeper into Liam’s sinful mouth. Joey was going to have to go to confession every day for a month after this.

Liam did something with his hand and his tongue at the same time, and suddenly Joey was right there. “Jesus fuck,” he shouted, jack-knifing up as all his muscles locked and he came so hard it almost hurt. Liam stroked him through it, dragging his orgasm out until he was a trembling, sweating mess without the strength to tell Liam to stop.

“Holy fucking hell,” he gasped, clutching his hand to his chest. “Oh, my fucking God.”

Liam crawled up over Joey, carefully avoiding the mess on his stomach and chest and possibly his chin. “Now that is definitely not something a nice boy would say,” Liam said lowering his head to kiss Joey.

Joey moaned into his mouth as he tasted himself on Liam’s lips. He wanted to touch Liam, but he couldn’t see to lift his arms. “You broke me,” he muttered in between breathless kisses.

Liam smiled and caressed Joey’s check, thumb again rubbing over Joey’s kiss-swollen bottom lip like he couldn’t get enough of it. Joey couldn’t look away. Liam was so gorgeous in the otherworldly light of the room.

“My turn,” Liam said, lifting Joey’s shoulders to slide a second pillow behind his head.

“I don’t think I can move yet,” Joey confessed.

“You just lie there, beautiful, and trust me.” Liam pulled Joey’s mouth open.

Joey shivered with nerves and anticipation as Liam freed his painfully hard cock from his underwear with a curse at the feel of his own hand.

“This is not gonna take long at all,” he panted. “You’re so fuckin’ hot. I almost came just watching you.” He lifted onto his knees, leaning forward and bracing one hand on the wall. His cock bobbed directly in front of Joey’s mouth.

A shudder wracked Joey’s body, and his cock twitched. Liam took advantage of Joey’s quiet groan and guided his cock into his mouth.

Joey tensed, hands flying up to grab Liam’s hips. Liam petted his hair. “Ssh, it’s okay. Trust me.”

Joey relaxed a little, mouth closing around Liam’s cock. He was really doing it. His first blowjob, and it was with Liam. Damn. He gave the head a tentative lick.

Liam groaned quietly and pushed in a tiny bit further, so Joey did it again. Liam’s cock throbbed, and Joey tasted skin, and sweat, and the faintest hint of bitterness as it slid over his tongue.

“So good,” Liam whispered. “So good for me.”

Joey wanted to be good. He reached for Liam’s cock, sliding his fingers up and down the shaft the way he liked it, bumping into his lips at the end of the upstroke.

Liam’s hips jerked forward, and Joey coughed, caught unprepared. Liam pulled back, but not out. The weight of his cock was heavy on Joey’s tongue, pushing his jaw down and stretching the corners of his mouth. “Okay?” Liam asked, running his thumb around Joey’s lips.

Joey nodded, eyes looking up at Liam’s body stretched out above him. His strong torso went on forever from this angle, and the muscles of his ass flexed under Joey’s fingers as he slid gently in and out of his mouth.

Time lost meaning as Liam used Joey’s mouth. Joey’s world narrowed down to the ache in his jaw, the taste and feel of Liam’s cock, and the way his breathing grew harsher and louder as he got closer.

With a grunted exhale, Liam leaned forward and tilted Joey’s head back by his hair. “Fuck, I’m close.” His thrusts sped up, growing more erratic as he slipped deeper into Joey’s mouth.

Just as Joey was starting to worry about the etiquette of swallowing, Liam yanked his dick out. Bending over, he jerked himself hard and fast until he came with muffled yell all over Joey’s chest.

Damn, that was hot. Joey surprised himself by laughing.

Liam lowered himself carefully to the bed next to Joey. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know,” Joey said, wiping his mouth and moving his aching jaw side to side. “It’s just that was so fucking hot.”

“Yeah, it was.”

They lay silently side by side until Joey found himself falling asleep. “Shit,” he said when he realized his eyelids had fallen shut. “I’m disgusting.”

“S’hot,” Liam said sitting up with a groan. “Stay here. I’ll get something.”

“You are a saint.” Joey closed his eyes and listened to Liam moving around the room, presumably putting on some pants. The door creaked open and had started to swing shut when he heard Liam gasp. “Jesus Christ, Nana. What are you doing here?”

Oh, fuck.

Liam pulled the door shut with a click.