A week passes, and Sam doesn’t come find me. It hurts more with every day, especially the rare glimpses I catch of him in the cafeteria or near the gazebo. I have made it a habit to pass by it every time I head to the rink or return from it. Sam sits with Gretchen in the cafeteria now and Shawn sits with their circle of friends. The two have obviously not talked through their issues and I feel bad for him. I want to go up to him every day and tell him everything is going to be fine. Barry and Clive have noticed me watching him a lot more lately, and taken it upon themselves to harass me into going out with the team to “get my mind off things.” I went out a couple of times, but most of the week after classes and practice I head back to my room and work on my midterm. I hadn’t told Coach I wasn’t going to the tutoring sessions, and he hadn’t asked. I had thrown myself into the paper with everything I have, working out parts here and there and re-writing the thesis statement before I finally got the paper where I want it.

Friday rolls around and the morning before the playoff game comes and goes. It barely registers when Coach calls Stevie into the office and I hear yelling. Stevie doesn’t come with Coach onto the ice after, and I assume he has been benched for the remainder of the season because of whatever verdict the University has decided upon. When Coach tells us that Stevie has been kicked off the team, everything feels unreal to me as he gives me a pointed look. The other guys murmur their acknowledgement to the news. The only ones who look upset are Stevie’s buddies, but they know better than to say anything if they want to continue playing hockey themselves. I don’t react much, just nod my head and take my position. I can’t shake the feeling like I’m in a fog as I continuously glance at the stands to see if Sam will show up, but he doesn’t.

“Hey man, get your head in the game,” Kasey urges during a time out. We’re up by five points and I’ve been playing really well, but I can’t help but feel let down.

“Sorry dude,” I mutter.

“It’s all good. We’ve got this. Just think about hockey for now, and when you want to chat about other stuff, the whole team is here for you,” he responds. I nod and turn my thoughts to the game. We end the game with a shut-out, 7-0, securing our position in the Championships.

After the game I shower and change and then I exit the locker room. Outside the locker room, I run into Katie who looks worried and I think maybe Sam still hasn’t returned home.

“Katie, what’s going on? Is everything OK?” That’s when she gets the same look on her face my Mom had with the last game she came to, and Katie says the exact same words that make me black out, just the way they did when my Dad died.

“Jayden, there’s been an accident. It’s Sam.”

* * *

I come to with a bunch of faces looking down at me from above. Katie’s is in the center, along with Coach, Kasey, Barry, and Clive.

“A…a…accident?” My voice shakes along with the rest of my body. I can feel my skin has gone cold and sweaty.

“I’m so sorry Jayden, I didn’t know about your Dad. I should have told you that Sam is ok first.”

“Ok? Sam’s ok?” I look around at the others for confirmation while Coach says, “alright boys, back up. Give him some air.” I try to stand but my legs feel like Jell-O under me and Clive grabs me and loops my arm around his shoulders, helping me to remain standing.

“Yeah, he was in an accident on the way to the game,” she says. Then she looks around and quickly adds, “he was coming to see you when he was side-swiped. He’s ok He’s at my house. The EMT’s let him come home with a few bruises, but he is miraculously ok.”

“He came to the game?” I feel like my brain is fuzzy, like if I could splash cold water on it, then maybe some things would start to register.

“Yeah,” she says. “He was crossing that intersection downtown near my place, when this crazed driver came out of nowhere, never slowed for the light but aimed right for him and plowed his car into his station wagon. The guy, Stevie or something, was arrested on site.”

“Huh?” The knowledge doesn’t register, but Coach and the rest of the guy’s faces confirm what she is saying.

“Let’s not worry about that right now, ok?” Coach says. He nods to Clive who begins helping me walk to the exit. Onlookers are staring at us and gawking, and I feel like dead weight on Clive’s shoulder.

“Devin?” I begin but Katie quickly adds, “Devin was home. He’s there now with Sam. Sam doesn’t know I came to get you.”

“He doesn’t?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“I think he’s really freaked out, and normally I would call Shawn for something like this, but…” she trails off.

“I’m assuming Devin is a minor, is he alright to be alone with him right now?” Coach asks.

“Yes, he has always been the more responsible one of the two of us. Having to look after Devin will keep him focused for a while. The EMT’s said he isn’t in shock, so that’s a good thing. I told him I was going to the drug store to pick up some pain killers for him, and grab dinner on the way back.”

I nod. Her plan makes sense. But all at once, my body snaps to attention and I shrug Clive off. “I need to see him.”

“Yeah, I know. I figure we can get that stuff, then you can come with me to…”

“No. Now. Right now. I need to see him.” I try to jog toward the exit, but Coach’s palm on my shoulder stops me from going far.

“Easy son, I’ll drive you and Katie. Clive, go to the drug store to get the prescriptions. Barry and Kasey, go grab something for them to eat then bring it to the house. Come on, we’ll get you there.”

I follow Coach out of the arena and sit anxiously in the back seat as he maneuvers through the traffic of downtown Ontario until he gets to Katie’s house. I leap from the car the second he has it in park and dash up the steps to the front door, with Katie right by my side. She opens the door and calls out,

“Sam? Devin? I’m home!”

I follow her down the hall and enter the living room, gasping when I see the busted lip and black and blue welt right above Sam’s right eye. He and Devin freeze when they see me enter the living room and then Devin squeals with delight, running over and hugging the bottom of my leg. Sam looks between Katie and I, as if waiting for some answers. I walk, or try to as Devin clings to me, towards Sam, dragging the kid along the carpet. Sam gets up and I notice him wince as his hand flies to his ribs, wondering if he has some bruised ribs or even fractures. I let my eyes travel over the rest of his body as I blurt out, “Where are your glasses?”

“You’re such a geek,” I hear Barry say as he and Kasey enter. I hadn’t noticed Katie answer the door, or Coach’s silent entrance behind us as I had come running into the house.

“Boys, ordering pizza is not going to the supermarket and getting something for dinner.” Coach growls at them. But I see him follow Katie and the others into the kitchen for plates so that they can grab a slice. I remain rooted to the spot, along with Devin who is staring at them, wide-eyed and possibly drooling.

I stare at Sam who starts to chuckle and then I feel the irrational spike of anger that he is laughing in a situation like this.

“It isn’t funny! He could have killed you!” I yell. Everyone stops moving and stares between us, but I don’t care.

“I wasn’t laughing about the accident, Jayden,” Sam says softly. “I was laughing because I never thought I’d hear anyone call you that.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and some of the anger is released. “You could have died…it was like when…you could have been killed,” I croak.

“I know. But, I didn’t. I know about your Dad, Jayden. And I’m sorry, but it’s ok. I’m ok, see? Only a few bruises, ok?”

I continue to stare at him as Coach clears his throat. “Alright boys, grab your pizza and let’s hit the road, give them some space.” He and the rest of the team clear out, leaving Katie, prying Devin off my ankle, Sam and me.

“Come on little man,” she croons. “Time for bed. Uncle Sammy needs a rest, say goodnight.”

“But I don’t wanna go to bed!” he cries as she hoists him in her arms. The squirming bundle kicks and screams all the way down the hall, leaving the two of us alone together.

Sam begins to limp over toward me, but I am across the room faster and without realizing it at first, I start to touch him everywhere. I run my fingers over his cheeks and nose and down his arm. I touch his hip and run my palm up his stomach but draw back when he winces. I touch the tiny ridge on his temple that isn’t bruised where his glasses usually sit, the indentation still there. As I bring my hand back down his jaw, he turns his head and places a kiss on my open palm, which sends shivers down my spine.

“I’m alright,” he reassures me again. I hadn’t realized before now that I am trembling, but when he reaches his hand up, his fingers close over my own, and the shaking stops.

“Sam,” I say, and my voice sounds as weak as my legs feel. The anxiety is too much, and he tugs on my arm, and we both sink down onto the couch. I notice that he sits slowly, holding his side. I am careful as I raise my arm up, inviting him to lay against me, and wondering if he will. A small ounce of relief comes when he doesn’t even hesitate, and he lays his head down on my chest. I wrap my arm around him and hold him close to me as we sit there on the couch not speaking.

Katie comes out a few moments later and glances at us before bringing us each some pizza and a few blankets from the hall closet. She doesn’t say a word as she shuts the lights off in the living room and hands me the remote to the T.V. We eat in silence and flip through the channels. The next time I glance down at Sam, his pizza slice has slipped from his hand and sauce is staining my jersey, but I couldn’t care less. He’s sound asleep. I set the pizza aside on my empty plate on the coffee table and I unwrap a blanket from the arm of the couch using one hand to drape it over his shoulders. I cover my lap with the other, clicking off the T.V. and letting my head fall back as I start to drift off to sleep with Sam in my arms.