Josh had one full forty-eight-hour shift left before the Akpaliki Taurtut race at the end of the week, for which he’d taken vacation both days. It was also his first time seeing Jack since learning he and Hayley had met at the holiday festivities. As it happened, they both pulled into the parking lot at the fire station at the same time and parked their trucks side by side.

“Morning, brother,” Jack said, which was his usual greeting, but then added, “I met a friend of yours the other night. Hayley March.”

“Maggie mentioned that.”

“Dating coach, eh?” Jack said, eyes twinkling.

Ah, shit, Josh thought. “Just doing a favor for a friend.”

“So you’re not dating her?” Jack asked as they walked into the station together.

“No,” Josh said. “I’m not dating her.”

Even though it was true, he felt like he’d just gone through the most painful breakup of his life. He’d messed up with her in so many ways.

Once inside, they greeted the firefighters who were getting off shift. Then they made straight for the fresh coffee the guys had brewed as a parting gift. Jack poured Josh a cup and handed it to him.

“And you don’t have feelings for her?” Jack asked.

Josh gave him a sharp look. “Why? Do you want to ask her out?”

“She mentioned her predicament with Devotion.com and that she needs them to think she’s got a boyfriend.” Jack watched him closely. “I was thinking of offering my services.”

“You’d better fucking not!”

Jack grinned as if he’d gotten the rise he’d been looking for. As if he’d gotten at the truth. “You obviously like her. Why don’t you be her backup?”

“She doesn’t want to show off a fake relationship. Besides, I can’t be around her.”

“Why not?” Jack said. “Because you ruined things between her and Evan and now she’s mad at you?”

“How much did she tell you?”

“Enough to know you’re an absolute fool if you let her get away.”

* * *

Race day brought with it a bitter wind that slammed against the triple-paned windows. The howls of the wind woke Josh even before his alarm clock went off at four o’clock. He forced himself to stay in bed until it did, knowing the next night of camping at the Denali checkpoint wouldn’t be restful, either.

He dressed quickly, inhaling the smell of Maggie’s race day breakfast. As she always did before sled dog races, Maggie had set her alarm early to make eggs, bacon, and her special protein pancakes for the small group who’d go to the start line. Along with Maggie and Josh, there would be Bruce and Viktor—all of whom who would tuck leftover pancakes in their inside coat pockets to eat when they had a free moment throughout the long kick-off morning.

That day, there was a single candle sticking up from the top of the pile of pancakes, which Maggie rushed to light as Josh entered the room. She held up the plate like it was a cake.

“Happy birthday, little brother!” she said. “Welcome to the big 3-0.”

“Thanks.” Touched, he crossed the room and blew out the candle.

“Did you make a wish?”

Hayley, he thought. I wish for Hayley.

But he knew he wouldn’t be getting that wish. The knowledge was a pained pang in his heart, and an ache in his body that was like frustrated lust, but even worse somehow.

“I wish I saw movement from Dad’s house.” Josh looked out the kitchen window and didn’t see any lights to indicate his dad was awake—which was not a good sign, as Bruce should have started race day preparations by then. “Have you seen him yet today?”

“No, I was going to call over there.” Maggie joined Josh at the window. “He should be up by now.”

“Damn it,” Josh said. “What about Viktor? He should be here by now, too.”

“It’s not like him to be late on a race day. Did you check your phone?”

Josh looked and saw a text from Viktor that he was running half an hour late because he’d had to jump-start his pickup.

Race days were stressful enough, but the group, which had been working together for three years by then, had a well-oiled process down which did not include Bruce sleeping in and Viktor running late. It meant the dog feeding would be behind schedule, which meant they’d have to rush to get the dogs and equipment loaded into the trailer, which meant they’d be tempted to speed to the start of the course, which meant … and on and on.

Josh began putting on his outerwear. “I’m going head over to Dad’s and see what’s up before I get the mush on for the dogs. Would you mind calling him, too?”

“You got it.” Maggie grinned. “Remind me why this is fun again?”

“Family bonding,” Josh said.

“Oh, yeah. That.” There was a plate of pancakes warming on the counter under a towel. She tore one in half, came over to Josh, and fed it to him while he latched up his gloves. “Couldn’t we bond by playing charades like a normal family?”

Josh laughed. At the moment, it seemed like not only a fair question, but a wise one, too. He patted her on the head with his thick snowmobile gloves.

“Love ya, sis. Thanks for helping.”

“You bet.”

He rode his snowmobile the short distance to Bruce’s house because it had snowed overnight and trudging through half an acre of new snow would only put him further behind schedule. The wind was nasty, and he gripped the handlebars to stay firmly in place on the snowmobile, dreading in advance how tense his muscles would be after two long days of similarly gripping the sled during the race.

When he stepped into the house, he heard two things—the ringing phone and a hacking cough. He flipped on the kitchen light and went to his dad’s bedroom, where he found Bruce sitting up in bed coughing, holding his cell phone in one hand and covering his mouth with the other. Scattered on the nightstand were bottles of cough medicine, cold medicine, Kleenex, and a glass of water.

Josh handed Bruce the water glass and took the phone from him. He told Maggie their dad was getting up, and disconnected.

“Dad, what the hell? You look really sick.”

“I’m fine.” He coughed, then coughed three more times. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

Josh’s gut told him otherwise. “I thought you were getting better. You said you were getting better.”

“I am.” Cough, cough.

Shit, Josh thought, his stomach churning at the possible implications. He’d checked on Bruce several times over the past few days and had only heard reassurances. Either his dad had taken a turn for the worse, or he’d downplayed how bad he really felt. Maybe both. He tried to feel his forehead and check for a fever, but Bruce wouldn’t let him.

“Go put on the mush for the dogs,” Bruce said. “I’ll be right out.”

“Will do.”

Viktor arrived at the kennel then, grumbling apologies for being late.

“Has my dad been sick the past couple days? Have you noticed anything?” Josh asked. “He’s hacking away in there.”

“Yeah, he’s been under the weather,” Viktor said. “Don’t know how bad, but he took a nap yesterday afternoon, which was kind of alarming.”

It was indeed alarming. His dad never napped.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Josh said. “Damn. I wish you’d finished the dog handling certification class so you could sub for him out on the trail.”

Every year, Viktor had opted out of the class in favor of a hunting trip with a couple of his old friends, which relegated him to manning the trailer. It had tie-up cables for the dogs, straw on the floor, and allowed them to work with the dogs out of the wind and cold, getting on booties and untwisting lines and the like. Viktor’s contribution was immensely helpful, but because he wasn’t certified, he wouldn’t be able to camp out overnight at the race checkpoint. At this point, either Bruce had to or Josh would have to rely on volunteer handlers—which was acceptable but not preferred.

“Your dad’s tough. I think he’ll be fine,” Viktor said. “Colds always seem worse when you first get up.”

Bruce did seem much better when he emerged a few minutes later from his room. He was dressed, his coughing had ceased, and he was in his usual chipper race day mood. By the time they’d gotten the dogs fed and loaded into the trailer, it seemed to Josh his dad was fine for racing.

He’s an adult, Josh reminded himself. He can take care of himself. But still, he had a niggling worry that his dad was overdoing it, pushing his own health in order to help him. Josh knew how stubborn the men in the Barnes family could be, himself included.

* * *

The Akpaliki Taurtut began on the far east side of town in the parking lot of the county fairgrounds. In the mid-morning winter darkness, the fairground was lit up with not only parking lot lights but barrel bonfires scattered throughout. Josh left his dad and Viktor to unload and ready the dogs while he made his way over to the check-in tent, stopping along the way to greet the out-of-town racers he knew.

After checking in, Josh returned to where Bruce was preparing to leave for the overnight checkpoint. The back of Josh’s truck was tarped and loaded with the tents and camping equipment and dog gear; Bruce would drive the truck to Denali National Park and set up before Josh and the dogs arrived later that day, and then serve as Josh’s dog handler.

“You sure you’re feeling well enough, Dad?” Josh said.

Bruce coughed slightly, but his voice was strong. “I’ll be fine. You just focus on the race.”

Josh couldn’t deny his own excitement. The weather forecast was for a clear, cold day and the festival atmosphere around him was infectious.

The event was a big deal in Golden Falls, bringing in thousands of people who graced the downtown businesses with their holiday shopping dollars. In return, the city put on a good race, packing the starting line with enthusiastic well-wishers. Food trucks served up hearty fare, heated tents held vendors and seating, and holiday music played over loudspeakers, which was barely discernible over the rambling announcer and incessant yapping of hundreds of dogs.

“I’m gonna head out,” Bruce said. “See you at the checkpoint. Good luck. And happy birthday, Josh.”

Josh grinned. “Thanks, Dad. For everything.”

Cassie Holt waved him over for a live shot and asked him a few quick questions about the expected conditions on the trail. Maggie gave Josh a hug and a promise for a bar crawl birthday celebration. The fire department had Engine One assigned to the event, so Josh went over to say hello, accepting handshakes and well wishes from Cody, Sean, Dylan, and Jack in turn. Cody handed him a few packages of caribou jerky, and Jack gave him a flask of rum.

Josh kept looking around for Hayley, but she wasn’t there.