“I’m Saxton,” he said.
“Sara.”
He nodded. “Didn’t think Cinnamon was your real name.”
Oh right. Should she have kept that to herself? How much did he need to know about her? How much should he know? And how much should she know about him? Maybe it was better to keep it a mystery. If she knew too much, maybe that would make it worse. Knowing nothing about him meant she could imagine anything. She could picture him as the sweetest, most gentle man on the planet.
“Have you done this before?” he asked.
She looked down at the table, studying the cracks and gashes in the wood top. This whole place was disgusting, especially the business they conducted here. She shook her head.
“I had a feeling. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve never done this before, either.” He chuckled. “My guys told me this was a Christmas party.”
She met his gaze and found it a bit easier to look in his eyes. “Your guys?”
“In my MC.”
Should she know what that meant? She tried to think, but wasn’t sure what it stood for.
“Motorcycle club,” he said.
“Oh.” Geez, was it that obvious that she was clueless? So, he was a biker then. That blew her image of him as the nicest guy on the planet. But she knew he rode a motorcycle, she reminded herself. She’d seen him drive up on it.
“You’re in a club of other motorcycle lovers?” she asked.
He looked at her for a moment with a dumbfounded stare. Then, he broke into laughter. “You don’t know anything about the biker world, do you?”
“No, not really.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She felt silly. The other women who had been in the auction all seemed to be getting very cozy. One was sitting on her man’s lap, facing him, licking along his neck. Another danced for her man. A few she didn’t see, and guessed that meant they were already getting busy.
Should she be doing something? Did he expect her to be kissing him and rubbing against him like that? Maybe if he was new to this, he had no expectations.
“We form clubs,” he said. “Groups of guys who ride together and hang together. Sometimes work together. We protect each other, do business together, that sort of thing.”
“Like a gang?”
“Pretty much.”
Her mental association of gangs was again all violence and danger. Saxton had to be the dangerous type. She’d really never gotten into the whole bad boy thing. She preferred safety and security. Maybe because her life seemed fraught with danger enough.
Danger of being kicked out of her apartment or having Ian kicked out of school. Danger of not being able to pay her bills. Danger from her creepy landlord, who had more than once hinted that if she was short on rent, she could work it off in other ways. Danger at the restaurants where she worked and often left late at night. More than once, someone had been in the parking lot, and once she had to get out her pepper spray.
She thought about her landlord and how it had sickened her every time he made a crude look at her or said something vulgar. Then she’d felt that she was too good to sink that low. Well, look at her now. Maybe she should consider sleeping with the landlord to get her rent paid. What difference would it make after this? She was selling herself already. Why not keep doing it?
She wanted to cry at the thought of what she’d become. She was a prostitute now. One thing she swore she’d never become. She had refused to even consider being a stripper, and now she’d skipped right to selling her body. Had she really become this?
“Sara.”
She looked at Saxton, bringing her focus back to him. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Would you like a drink?”
“Oh. Sure.”
He motioned for a waitress to come over, and she ordered a vodka and cranberry juice. Something nice and strong. Numb the pain. Maybe it would loosen her up enough to make this easier. She could just get trashed, then maybe she wouldn’t even remember it tomorrow. That seemed like a good plan.
“So, what do you do?” he asked.
“I’m a waitress.”
Their drinks came and she took a long gulp, letting the burn fill her with warmth. One more big sip, and she could feel the warmth creeping into her face. It was already making her anxiety fade a little.
“Easy now,” Saxton said.
He moved his hand to her knee and she jumped. He put his hand back on the table.
“Do you like it?”
“Sure.” The drink was strong and that was good. Sometimes they watered down the alcohol with too much juice. “Strong.”
“Good. I meant waitressing, though. Do you like waitressing?”
“Oh. Sure, it’s okay.”
“I bet you get a lot of tips.” He pulled his mouth into a half smile.
“It’s not bad.”
He sat back and narrowed his eyes to inspect her. “I’ve been trying to figure you out. What is it? School, rent, coke?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why would a woman like you put yourself through this?”
Again she wondered how much she should tell him. She didn’t really want him to know about Ian. That felt too personal. He probably wasn’t quite that trustworthy.
“Umm, college, yeah. Can’t waitress forever, right?” She tried to chuckle and then took another sip of her drink. College student sounded way more respectable than single mom who was broke.
“What’s your major?”
Without hesitating, she answered, “Nursing.” It was what she’d always wanted to do. Help people, save them, see them get well. But school had never been an option for her. Not with Ian. She had to work every second she could. No way could she devote the thirty hours a week that a nursing program demanded. Even if they allowed her to take classes slower than that, she couldn’t even give them ten hours a week and still be able to pay the bills. As it was, she never got a full night’s sleep and tonight would be worse. She’d maybe get a few hours if she was lucky.
It would have made life easier if she had been able to do it. Nurses made far more than any waitress ever did. And nurse was a much more respectable job. She cringed having to admit she worked at two restaurants and hated to think that all her time spent there brought in so little money.
Saxton nodded. “My mom was a nurse.”
“Does she like it?”
“Yeah. I think she liked the pay the most. Not easy being a single mom with two kids.”
So, his mom was living her life, basically, except she managed to get to school and make something of herself. If only Ian had come along a little later, maybe that could have been her life.
Then his words sunk in.Wasa nurse.Liked the pay. All past tense. “Do you see her often?”
“I visit her grave once a week.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
He shrugged. “She lived a good life. And she went fast, so that’s a blessing. All those years spent in the hospital taking care of people, and she had plenty of people to take care of her in the end.”
“Good karma, I guess.”
“I guess.”
What sort of karma would her actions tonight lead to? Was this a sacrifice for her child to come to her as someone sacrificing themselves for her? Or was this something despicable and would led to more despicable things happening to her?
“How much longer do you have?”
She’d still been thinking of death when he asked and it threw her for a moment. But she wasn’t dying. He meant school. “Another year.” Sure, why not.
“And will this pay for it?”
“It’ll cover tuition for the rest of the year. Almost.” At least that was true enough. Even if it wasn’t her tuition she was talking about. With this year being paid for, she could start saving and get far ahead before Ian’s next school year started.
“That’s good. I guess school is expensive. I never went.”
“It is. A good education doesn’t come cheap.” She took the last swallow of her drink and was feeling much better about everything. She had a nice little buzz just starting. Another drink or two, and she could do this, no problem.
“Another?” he asked.
She gave an emphatic head nod and he ordered her another.
Saxton leaned over to her and said in her ear, “I just want you to know that I think you’re the most beautiful woman here. That’s why I bid so high. I couldn’t bear to let one of these assholes take you home.”
“Thank you.” She thought of how he’d been her savior and how much she appreciated not sitting with the knife guy right now. “You’re the hottest man in here,” she blurted out.
He pulled his mouth into a half smile, then let his fingers fall through her hair. “Glad you think so.”
His touch sent chills through her. It made her a little uncomfortable, but at the same time, his looks helped a lot. And the alcohol. She started to feel a little warm down between her legs and crossed her knees.
“Do you like it rough?” he asked.
“Umm…” She took a sip of her drink. How could she answer besides being honest? “I don’t really know. I’ve never done it like that.”
He let his hand return to her knee and this time, she didn’t pull back. “So, you’ve only been fucked nice and easy?”
Her face warmed a bit and the tickle of his words in her ear gave her tingles. “I guess so.”
“Maybe we’ll have to fix that.”
Oh crap. So he was one of these rough guys after all? Great. What did that even mean? How rough was rough exactly? Did that mean he’d want to break out whips and chains? Or would he just do it so hard that it hurt? Would he want to try other things, like anal? She wanted to run all over again.
“Don’t worry,” he said. His fingers played with her hair again, then rested on the back of her neck. “I won’t hurt you. Promise.”
She relaxed some, but didn’t really know if she could trust that. Did guys like him tell the truth?
“I just want to make you feel good.” His hand moved farther up her thigh.
“You too,” she said because she figured she was meant to say something like that. Wasn’t he paying for her to make him feel good?
“I’m sure you’ll make me feel real good. You’re so hot, you turn me just looking at you. I’ve been hard since I first saw you.”
“I’m so glad you were the one who won. That other guy really creeped me out.”
“Who, Darien? Yeah, he’s not a nice guy at all. I’ve heard too many bad things. I couldn’t bare to let him win you.”
“He showed me the knives he had tucked in his pants.” She shivered. “Total creep.”
“He doesn’t deserve someone as hot as you.”
Despite herself, she liked hearing him say that. It’d been a very long time since she felt desirable. Coming home stinking like cooked food, often with smears of various dinners on her clothes didn’t leave much room for feeling sexy. And when customers at the restaurants hit on her, that didn’t feel like a compliment so much as they just wanted to get in her pants.
But somehow, Saxton seemed like he was interested in more than just sex. Maybe it was only the alcohol, but she imagined he wanted to get to know her. He asked all these questions and, judging by the way Trixie was practically screwing her guy right in his chair, she didn’t think most of the men here bothered with small talk and discussion.
She liked him. Liked the look of him and the way he talked to her. Even if the rough thing made her very nervous, he’d promised not to hurt her. She would have to believe him.
“He had knives, you said?” Saxton asked, a concerned look on his face.
“Several, tucked into his pants. He pulled back his jacket and showed me like he planned to use them on me or something.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me.”
Her stomach turned at that confirmation. If Saxton was bothered by this guy, he must really be bad news.
“Did you get a good look at them?”
“The knives? Not really.”
“Any have a decoration on the hilt?”
“I don’t think so.” She thought for a moment. It had been kind of hard to see since she was on the stage under the lights and he was in the audience. She’d seen the glint of metal, enough to know what they were and make out their shape, but not enough to make out any details. “No, I can’t recall any, sorry.”
He nodded slowly and seemed to get lost in thought for several minutes. A few times, he looked around. Was he looking for Darien? Then he scrunched up his face, like he was trying to decide something. After several minutes, it started to feel a bit awkward, so she tried to get the conversation going again.
“What do you do?” she asked. Maybe getting to know him was better after all. At least it would be better than watching him think and wonder what had him so concerned.
“Told you. I have my MC.”
“That makes money? I thought you just kinda hung out and rode together.”
“Well, I’m the leader, first of all. And we do business.”
So illegal things then. Drugs, guns, protection, who knew what? No wonder he had ten grand to blow on one night. Maybe he was one of those guys who had crazy money from selling things on the black market. And now she was benefitting from his “business.” Did that make it even worse? Was she somehow contributing to the crime on the streets of Chicago? Though, really, what she was doing was illegal. Maybe he dealt in girls. Maybe this was a plan to get her to be his woman to pimp out?
No, that was ridiculous. He didn’t seem like the pimp type and he’d said this was his first time. Unless he was just getting into the business, he most likely sold drugs or weapons.
“Am I allowed to ask what sort of business?” Maybe he’d give her some hint.
“Probably not a good idea,” he said.
Without thinking, she blurted out, “You’re not going to try to kidnap me and sell me, are you?”
He laughed. “I sell things, not people.”
Okay, well, that was something of a confirmation. Things, not people. Guns, she decided. Whether she was right or not, that’s what she’d go with for now. And that was better than selling women.
“I don’t know what kind of person would run a thing like this,” he said.
“The girls here are willing at least.”
“I guess that’s something.”
“Right.” She finished her drink and wondered if another would be okay. She was fully buzzed now. Probably helped that she hadn’t eaten much.
“I think that’s him.” Saxton nodded across the room at a man leaning over the bar.
Sara glanced over, then did a double take. “The man in the black shirt?”
“Yeah. I think. I don’t know him though.”
“Oh.” She tried not to react, but Saxton had just pointed out Carter. Could that be true? Could her brother be responsible for this auction? She knew he got into plenty of trouble and did illegal things, but she never imagined him doing something like this.
She shook her head. He’d been too exposed to this world. Their mother had had several jobs as strippers and sometimes Carter had been taken along, sitting in the backroom while she was on stage. Sara was older and had avoided most of that because she was in school by then and often stayed next door with a neighbor. Much like she often had Ian do. He was with her neighbor right now.
But Carter had clearly been affected by that world if he’d gotten into running things like this. Did he have personal women, too? Was he some sort of pimp? Knowing her brother, he was more likely the guy above all the pimps. He always seemed to be in charge of things, running things.
“Know him?” Saxton asked.
She wasn’t about to admit that her blood relative was responsible for this. “I think he’s one of my regular customers.”
“Well, I hope he tips well.”
“Yeah.” She forced a chuckle and hoped it didn’t sound too fake.
“Hey,” he said, leaning closer to her. “You want to get out of here?”
She looked at him and considered. It was nice of him to ask, even if she really didn’t have the option to say no. Maybe he would let her go home, but now that she knew just how much money awaited her, it left no option. She couldn’t ignore the dampness in her panties, either. Part of her wanted him. She wished it was under better circumstances, but oh, this night could have been so much worse. Thank God for him saving her. She shuttered to think of what she’d be doing right now if greasy knife man had won. Maybe she’d be bleeding under one of those blades.
“Yes,” she said. “Thank you, again, for bidding on me. And for so much.”
He winked and slid out of his seat. “You’re worth it.”