June 29th, 1050

I've been meeting Atticus every day for the past two weeks. I know that nothing can ever come of our relationship, we're from two different worlds, but every time I'm with him I feel more alive than I've ever felt before. This can never end well, but when it does end at least I'll have had the chance to spend this time with him. These days will be fond memories I'll get to relive when I'm older.

If I make it till I'm older.

Felix's moods are swinging faster than a pendulum lately. I think it's because Marie has become absent for longer periods of time recently. Before she would always take us with her when she was ready to move on but I think she may be planning to leave us behind this time. I definitely won't be surprised if she does.

There may be no choice but for us to leave before Camille is ready. I'm hoping to be able to hold out for another month or two. Not because of Atticus, though I will miss him more than I would miss my own arms and legs, but because we need more money and I would prefer Camille to be stronger. If things continue the way they are though, I'm not sure if either of those factors will matter. I'm no match for Felix.

I don't know what I'll tell Atticus before we leave; I can't just disappear. I won't do that to him, and it would be impossible as I must inform The Council's Watchmen of our intentions, but I'm not sure I'll actually be able to get out a goodbye to him. I'm trying not to think about it too much right now. The time for that will come, but until it does I'm not going to let it intrude upon the happiness that I've found with him.

Sometimes I contemplate telling him about Felix, but I know there's nothing that he can do. Even more than that, to reveal this hideous secret would be an intrusion of reality into a world that right now is more of a dream to me. I'm not ready to let that go, not yet. I also don't want him to know about this. I don't care what other details of my life he knows but this one isn't something I'm willing to share.

If I were honest with myself, I would acknowledge the fact that I'm ashamed about what Felix does to me, ashamed of my inability to fend him off. Atticus can't know about that weakness, he can't know about the horror that goes on in this hovel. It's my shame to bear, and I couldn't stand it if he looked at me with pity, or worse yet, with revulsion for being so weak.

Camille will be going into the woods with me today, she's been asking to see Matilda again and I can't keep putting her off. I've told her that Atticus and I have run into each other again but not much more than that. It's the first time I've ever kept something from her but I'm not ready to share him yet.

I think she suspects something though as she keeps watching me oddly. I hope that they get along well together. They're the two most important vampires in the world to me, they're the only two I've ever cared about. They have to like each other.

***

Genny knew he was there even before she turned to find him leaning against a tree with his arms folded over his chest, smiling at her. His twinkling eyes were the same color as the leaves hanging down around him. He dropped his arms down to his side and rapidly moved down the small embankment toward her.

"Genny, come on, I'd like to get there before Matilda leaves," Camille urged impatiently from the other side of the log.

Atticus's head turned toward Camille, he looked questioningly at her sister but he continued walking until he was standing before her. He smiled as he lifted her hand to drop a kiss on the back of it. "You look lovely today," he told her.

She shook her head at him but she couldn't help but smile. "You're a flatterer."

A mischievous gleam lit his eyes. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "Not when it comes to you."

A thrill slid down her spine, her toes curled in her boots. His thumb caressed the back of her hand before he stepped away from her. He had a way of making her feel as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world, even though she knew she wasn't. When they were together, they were the only two creatures in the world.

He kept hold of her hand while they walked across the log to join Camille on the other side. Camille's striking blue eyes were troubled as she glanced between the two of them. Atticus smiled as he stopped before her and took hold of Camille's hand. Though he bent over her, his lips didn't touch her skin before he released her hand and took a step away.

Even though she knew there was a strange connection between them, one that neither of them could explain, his lack of a reaction to Camille surprised her. Most men could barely take their eyes away from her sister, yet he immediately put distance between them. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Camille didn't seem to know what to make of this as her eyes continued to dart back and forth between them.

"How are you Camille?" he inquired.

"Good… I am good milord," she stammered out.

"Call me Atticus."

"Yes milord… uh ah Atticus."

He smiled at her but Camille bowed her head and folded her hands into the sleeves of her tunic. Genny had never seen her sister look so uncomfortable before, or so distant. "We were going into town. Camille would like to visit with Matilda," she said to Atticus in an attempt to try and ease Camille's nervousness.

"I'll join you," he said.

Genny relaxed as she leaned against his side but Camille kept her head down while they walked through the forest. Genny tried to draw Camille into the conversation but her normally talkative sister remained stilted and reserved as she gave only one-syllable answers in response. By the time they stepped onto the road, she'd barely said more than ten words and Genny's nerves were beginning to fray. She didn't understand what was wrong with her sister or why she kept looking suspiciously at Atticus.

"Do you ride?" Atticus asked her.

Genny gave up on drawing Camille into a conversation and turned toward him. "I've only done so a few times."

"Would you like to go for a ride with me tomorrow?"

"I don't have a horse and if I did I'd probably fall off," she said with a laugh.

"We only need one," he replied with a teasing gleam in his eyes. "And I'll make sure you stay seated."

Genny thought she felt an odd little thump in the area where her deadened heart resided in her chest. If she had required breath, she knew she wouldn't be able to breathe right now as everything within her seemed frozen. Without thinking, she rested her hand against his smoothly shaven cheek and leaned up to kiss him. Though they'd been spending everyday together, they hadn't exchanged any more kisses. She was well aware of the fact that they both yearned to do a lot more than just kiss. She was coming to care for him more and more with every passing day but she wasn't ready to give her body over to him. It would only result in her heart being broken. Though, she suspected it was already too late for her to come away from this with her heart still intact.

"I think that sounds amazing," she murmured against his lips.

"So do I," he replied and kissed her again. Now that she'd broken the seal, the dam seemed about to burst as his tongue slid enticingly over her lips before withdrawing. His heated mouth moved over her cheek before his lips rested against her ear in a gesture so intimate that her body instinctively pressed closer to his. Desire curled within her belly, she inhaled the enticing scents of leather, horse, mint and something intrinsically male that drifted from him. "I think you just like to scandalize the humans."

She'd gotten so used to touching him with ease that she'd forgotten it wasn't acceptable in the place they were, or that Camille wasn't used to it, until she heard a startled gasp and outraged murmurs. "Damn humans," Atticus muttered and took a step away from her.

But it was the look on Camille's face that kept Genny riveted. Her sister was staring at them as if they had just stripped naked and run through the streets of town. "Camille…"

"I'm going to see Matilda now," she blurted.

"I have no money for her yet," Genny reminded her.

"She'll understand. I'll be with her until you're ready to leave."

"Camille…" She took a step toward her but Camille turned away and hurried into the crowd.

"Let her go," Atticus said quietly.

"I don't understand what's wrong," she murmured.

Atticus turned to watch Camille. "Let me talk to her."

"That may not be a good idea."

"Let me try." He squeezed her hand reassuringly and stepped away from her.

Genny anxiously watched him follow Camille.

***

Atticus leaned against the wall of a hut and studied Genny's younger sister speaking with the older woman he'd met before. She smiled and laughed with Matilda but he could sense the tension in Camille as her shoulders never completely relaxed, and she kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. He looked back to where he'd left Genny to find her standing on the side of the road with her hands folded before her and a troubled look on her face. Realizing she'd been caught staring, she quickly busied herself by admiring a colorful array of ribbons hanging from one of the carts.

He didn't much care what Camille thought about him but Genny's love for her sister was clear and he knew it was important to her that they liked each other. Resigning himself to having to play nice with the girl, he moved away from the building and approached the cart. He pulled free a small money purse, placed it on top of the cart and pushed it toward Matilda.

"From Genny," he said. Matilda's eyes widened, she glanced at the purse and then at Camille. She slid the purse into her pocket as he turned toward Camille. "May I speak with you?"

Camille stared at Matilda before bowing her head. "Yes milord. I'll see you again soon Matilda."

"I hope so," Matilda replied.

Atticus's teeth had ground together when she'd called him milord again but he stepped away from the cart with her. His eyes went back to where Genny was waiting for them at the end of the road. She'd moved on from the ribbons and was now speaking with an older man trying to sell her some bread.

"May I ask why it is that you don't like me?" he inquired as he walked with deliberate slowness toward Genny.

Camille glanced at him from under her thick black lashes; her blue eyes were vivid in the sunlight filtering over her. She was a stunningly beautiful woman but even as that thought registered, his gaze was drifting back toward Genny. He felt his eyebrows shoot into his hairline when Genny smiled and took the bread from the man. A rumble of laughter bubbled up in his chest, she'd never eat the bread but the man's wrinkled face and words had convinced her to purchase the food.

"I like you just fine milord," Camille replied dismissively.

He stopped walking and touched her arm to get her to stop. The minute his skin came into contact with her, a crawling sensation slid over his skin and he quickly dropped his hand back to his side. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face as he glanced back at Genny. If he hadn't known she was a vampire he would have thought her a witch with the spell she seemed to have cast on him in the weeks since their first meeting.

When they were apart, he couldn't get her out of his mind. Even feeding had become more difficult, he despised the touch of anyone else and the smell of others, specifically women, was repulsive to him. If it hadn't been necessary for his sanity and survival, he would have forgone the act of feeding altogether. As it was, he wasn't feeding as often as he should. He also hadn't lain with a woman since the day he'd met her. Feeding from them was bad enough but at least he didn't have to touch them much, the thought of feeling their flesh against his made his stomach turn.

There was too much going on between him and Genny for her sister to drive a wedge between them. Camille didn't have to like him, but they were going to come to some kind of acceptance between them. "You're lying," he said bluntly.

"Milord…"

"My name is Atticus." Her jaw clenched, her eyes returned to her sister. "If you continue to insist upon calling me milord then I will treat you as one lesser than I. I don't want to have to do that."

A muscle began to twitch in her cheek as she glared at him. "Permission to speak freely then Atticus?" she hissed from between clenched teeth.

"Of course." He folded his arms over his chest and stared relentlessly at the young woman.

"I don't understand what you are doing with my sister, what is it that you are trying to prove?"

"I'm not trying to prove anything," he told her.

"I don't believe you, is this some kind of twisted game that you aristocrats play with us village girls? Make them care for you and then leave them behind so that you can laugh at them afterward? I love Genny, she's everything to me, she's all I have in this world and I'd like for you to leave her alone." Camille's hands fisted as she took a step closer to him. "Even with everything we've been through, she's still trusting of others and I won't let you hurt her any more than she already has been. She deserves better and if you have any heart you'll walk away and leave her be before whatever this is goes any further and you destroy her. Genny's a lot kinder than I am, and if I were mature, things would be different, but I'm not yet. If getting you to go away is the one way that I can help protect her then I am going to do just that."

Atticus's arms fell down to his sides as red flickered hotly in her eyes for a second. Her words had been the absolute last ones he'd expected to hear from her. He'd anticipated some childish response from her. Maybe a fit because Genny was getting more attention than she was today, something he was certain didn't happen very often. Instead, he found himself staring at a young woman that was willing to do anything to protect her older sister. Even stand up to an aristocrat that under normal circumstances could have ordered her death or imprisonment for such insolence.

"You said I could speak freely milord," she reminded him as she seemed to realize that same exact thing and she stepped away from him again.

"Atticus." Her mouth pursed at his word but she showed no other reaction. "I told you to call me Atticus and I meant it." She continued to stare at him but her shoulders relaxed a little. "I can assure you that what is between your sister and I is not part of some aristocratic game that we play with village women. It is not a rite of passage; it is not something we laugh about with each other."

"Then why…"

"For every reason you just said," he interrupted briskly. "Because she gives money to Matilda, because she just bought a loaf of bread that she will never eat. For reasons I can't even begin to explain to you because I don't understand them myself. I don't know what this is between Genny and I but I've never met anyone like your sister and I will not hurt her."

"Even if I did believe you, no matter what happens, no matter how all this goes, you will end up hurting her. You're an aristocrat, this thing between you, it can't go anywhere."

Atticus glanced back at where Genny still stood by one of the stalls. She was pretending to look at the ribbons again but he saw her glancing at them out of the corner of her eye. "I know what I am; I'm reminded of it every day. Even with that, I am going to promise you that I will do everything in my power to ensure that your sister is taken care of to the best of my ability."

She stared at him uncertainly as she folded her arms over her chest. "How can you possibly do that?"

"I don't know but I'll figure it out, somehow."

A snort of laughter escaped her. "I hope you understand if I'm still distrustful of you."

"I do, but can we agree to be personable with each other? Genny loves you, and us being at odds with each other is upsetting her."

She pursed her lips. "I know I can't do much, but if you break her heart I will do everything in my power to make sure that you pay for it."

Her statement should have been laughable to him, instead he found himself admiring her. "I expect nothing less."

The fire was back in her eyes when she stepped closer to him. "She's been through a lot, more than I have, more than you have, but she's not like us, she still finds joy in the simplest things in this world. Don't ruin that for her."

"For that reason too," he murmured as he recalled Genny sitting upon the log in her chemise two weeks ago, smiling as she watched the fish in the water. He started to ask Camille what Genny had been through, she was still rather private about the details of her life, but he knew that Camille wouldn't give him any answers either. "I won't."

Camille turned away from him. He looked toward where he had last seen Genny but she was gone. He instantly forgot about his confrontation with Camille as he searched the crowd for her. "Where is she?" he demanded. He made his way hastily through the people gathered around the stalls and carts full of merchandise.

"She was right there," Camille said from behind him.

Atticus stopped in front of the ribbon cart; he turned his head back and forth as he scented the air. Picking up on her scent, he made a sharp right and moved rapidly past the sellers lining the road. A large crowd of people had gathered in a circle around something that he couldn't see. He pushed through the group, ignoring their muffled protests as he followed her scent to the front of the crowd.

Metal blades gleamed in the sunlight from the knives rapidly flipping through the air. The crowd released an awed, "Ah," when more knives were added to the mix. He found Genny at the front of the crowd, a smile on her face and her hands clasped before her as she watched the juggler dressed in vibrant blues, reds, and greens with an expression of delight. The bell on the juggler's hat jingled with his movements. A bony, enraptured boy with dirt-streaked cheeks stood at her side, munching on a loaf of bread that looked suspiciously like the one Genny had purchased.

Her smile grew when she turned and spotted him. "Have you ever seen anything as amazing as this?" she gushed.

He'd seen acts like this before, but it had always been in an aristocrat's home, and they hadn't involved knives. "No," he told her, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her radiant face and it wasn't the juggler he was talking about. She blinked at him in surprise and then, for the first time since he'd met her, she actually seemed shy as she ducked her head away. "I haven't."

"Where's Camille?" she inquired and glanced around.

The question had just left her mouth when her sister arrived at her side. "Oh," Camille said and took a step back when she spotted the man at the center of the circle spinning ten knives through the air at once. "Impressive."

The knives stopped spinning through the air when the man began to catch each of them. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers as the juggler caught the last one between his teeth and made a sweeping bow. Genny's skin practically glowed as she turned away from the sight and slid her hand into his. The boy clutched the bread against his chest when he spotted Atticus. Not willing to take the chance of losing his prize, the boy scurried away and disappeared amongst the masses.

"They know that it could kill them and that they will one day die but some humans do such ridiculously dangerous things," Genny said. "They amaze me with their dogged determination and ingenuity."

That was more than they ever did for him but he kept that thought to himself as they walked toward the main thoroughfare again. "Even as a vampire I wouldn't catch a knife between my teeth," Camille said with a shudder.

"Neither would I," Genny agreed.

"What of you, Atticus?" Camille asked.

Relief filled him as he smiled at the young woman and she returned it. He had no doubt that she had meant what she'd said but for now she seemed willing to call a truce. "I wouldn't choose to do that either," he told her. Genny's hand tightened in his, her gaze shot back and forth between them before she smiled at him.

Atticus kissed her forehead and pulled her to a stop beside the ribbon cart. She frowned at him when he ordered the blue ribbon that she'd been admiring while she thought he wasn't paying attention. He gave the woman behind the cart the money before turning to Genny. "Turn around," he told her.

She shook her head and held up her hands. "Atticus, I can't accept that," she whispered.

"You can."

"No, I'm not… No."

Her lips pressed firmly together as she met his gaze. "I expect nothing in return for it; it's only a simple ribbon that I would like to give to you."

Her raven colored eyes darted around the crowd, he didn't know what she was looking for or hoping to find amongst the people, but she didn't look at him for a long while. "Genny, it's only a small gift," Camille said quietly from beside her.

Genny bit on her bottom lip and finally focused on him again. The look in her eyes made him wish he'd never offered it to her. He'd only meant to give her something pretty to replace the faded ribbon in her hair, but her reaction to it made him think he'd made her feel dirty or wrong in some way. She gave a brief bow of her head in acquiescence though and turned around.

He slid the faded ribbon from the end of her hair and tied the colorful new one into place. The deep blue color of the ribbon stood out vividly against her black hair. She smiled at him over her shoulder and gave him a kiss but he still sensed a small hint of reticence in her. Camille had a sad look on her face when they turned away from the town and slipped into the woods. While they walked, Atticus vowed that one day he would get her something far nicer than the ribbon, and she wouldn't feel any hesitation about taking it from him because she would know that she deserved it.

Without thinking, he slid her old ribbon into his pocket.