Lana’s bodyguard stayed away for hours. How that was possible, she hadn't a clue. Even though she caught glimpses of Hawk’s shadow hovering around her, she couldn’t get within ten feet of him for six hours. He traveled around her home, marking windows that needed to be secured and explained the state of the art system he wanted installed for security within the house. The one he recommended came with motion detectors and alarm releases in the bedrooms, and more. At one point, he’d put Bear on duty while he fed, watered, and brushed down her four horses before he returned to the porch to relieve Bear. The big guy finally left, stating he had a wife to get home to and letting Hawk know he could call around the next day if he needed more help when they traveled to Bozeman to get the security system he’d chosen.

Hawk had concluded all business without a single word to her.

She’d faced a lot in her life since becoming a model, from criticism about her size to her outspoken nature. The worst was her mixed heritage—Hawai’ian, African-American, and Cuban—which had been placed under a microscope when she’d joined her first agency. They used her race to bill her as exotic, a gorgeous blend of races which made her beautiful. It made her sick. Her ethnic background should have only mattered in so much as paperwork, but the world made statements out of everything or brushed discrimination under the rug. If Lana spoke out too much, she lost jobs. Other times, they tried to pressure her into presenting herself as more one race than another, a “whitewash” of her origins. Wouldn’t her success be amazing for Hawai’ians or Cubans? She identified with each race she belonged to, and she didn’t understand why she ever had to choose.

Hungry, and fearing what it would mean if she lost her agency, she’d let them have their way, until she didn’t recognize herself behind the camera. Lana had put on weight, and they dropped her for her size—it was the best thing to ever happen to her. She enjoyed her new shape and worked out to keep it manageable, pushing herself into the new era of plus-size modeling. With her new group, they loved her curves and encouraged her to be herself, try new things, and explore new avenues for promotion. The only downside had been her lack of relationships. Sex sells, no matter the industry, and she lacked sex appeal beyond the camera. Of all the things she’d been put through, she could understand that decision the most.

Now, as Lana watched her pacing bodyguard and wanted to throw the nearest vase at him, she wondered if virginity at her age was some sort of disease. Rising to her feet, she huffed. He couldn’t ignore her and work for her at the same time. She’d let him have his space, but he was going to explain what his problem was and tell her his plan to keep her safe. They couldn’t be at odds while someone was trying to kill her.

“Hawk,” she called.

He spun around to face her but wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I’ve already checked the perimeter before I had Bear leave, and you’re secure so far. We will travel to Bozeman tomorrow to look at the security systems before I install one for you. You can rest now.”

She hmphed, crossing her arms under her breasts. “Look at me.”

Hawk clasped his hands behind his back and braced his feet shoulder-width apart, but his gaze rested over her left shoulder.

“I’m aware of you, Lana, but I’m keeping a vigilant watch. Is there something you need?”

She paced toward him, stopping inches away. “Does it bother you … that I’m a virgin?”

His nostrils flared as he closed his eyes for a moment before he looked forward again. His musk, mixed with the scent of leather and horseflesh, reached her nose. He smelled earthy, a working man with power in his frame. Leaning forward to catch another whiff of him, her body warmed. She wasn’t naïve; she understood desire, the urge to have someone touch her, and she knew Hawk affected her this way.

“It doesn’t bother me. You should go inside,” he said firmly.

His voice had dropped to a gruff note, and the timbre of his wrapped around her. Dazed and attracted to his heat, she was hypnotized by him. She’d modeled with countless men, beautiful specimens of the human race, and none of them had the raw appeal of her bodyguard. It wasn’t right, she knew it, even as she rested her palms against his rock-hard stomach and sucked in a surprised breath. She knew she shouldn’t touch him, that she was playing with fire, but she couldn’t stop herself. Irritation at him morphed to need. Anger that he’d avoided her, that he refused to look her in the eye, turned into a need to force him to see her.

“This is a dangerous game, Lana. Go inside.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

She rubbed her hands up his body, over the hard muscles of his chest, and gripped his shoulders. Some inexplicable urge drove her. She wanted him closer, to feel him against her. Hawk finally looked down at her with hooded eyes, emotions filtering too fast for her to understand.

“Wíŋyaŋ wašté,” he whispered, the words brushing her lips with his exhale.

“What does that mean?”

“Beautiful woman. But you aren’t mine.”

When he framed her neck with his hands, lowering his head so his mouth hovered above hers, her heart skipped a beat. Near the mountains in Montana, with the sun hanging low in the sky— red, purple, and indigo filling her vision from the sunset—she’d have the first kiss of her life that was real. Lana curled her fingers into his shirt and pulled him closer.

“If I claim you, I won’t let you go,” Hawk stated, looking into her eyes.

Yes, she cried in her mind, her throat too dry to form words. Whatever he had to do, she’d accept it. In this moment, all she wanted was his mouth on hers.

“You met me today. I’m your bodyguard, and you are my client. What you are feeling right now is desire born of a dangerous situation. It will fade.”

Lana nearly fell on her face as he stepped around her and left her hanging in the cool air. The brilliant sunset from moments ago hung with strips of regret, and the bitter taste of rejection filled her mouth. She swallowed it down and spun to face him.

“What it was, Hawk, was pure feeling for the first time in my life. I wanted you the moment I saw you and decided to try.”

“Wanting someone is not enough,” he admonished.

“Don’t speak to me like I’m a child!” she yelled at him.

“Then don’t act like one. Sex isn’t something you just throw around just because you are attracted to someone. It’s supposed to be about respect and caring. A woman I take to bed belongs to me, and there won’t be any misconceptions the next morning. She’s mine.”

“Why is this any different?”

It was stupid, this argument she was having with him. She hadn’t thought this far into it, only about the momentary desire to have him. Hawk’s words hit close to home, further angering her. What about her made him not even want to try? Was it her weight? Her looks?

“You’re a model, and when this is all over with, you’ll travel back home. That’s why this is different,” he explained. “And I … well, I’m not fit for a relationship anyhow.”

She hated that speech: “It’s not you, it’s me.” She’d heard it enough growing up, before she’d decided to keep her body to herself, as well as her heart. He was right, of course. She didn’t know him, and she’d been thinking about giving him the most important part of her. A precious gift she hadn’t thought of giving anyone else. Lana groaned, the reality of her actions falling on her. She’d thrown herself at her bodyguard, and if he’d been any other man—one with less morals—he’d have taken her up on her offer. He’d have used her body and tossed her aside. In the morning, when he’d returned to his guest bed and left her behind, she’d feel cheap and used, nothing like the woman she thought she was. Tears clogged her throat as she blinked her watery vision clear.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, rushing toward the door. She stumbled, but Hawk caught her, his strong arms wrapping around her stomach as her face hovered inches away from the edge of the stairs.

“Be careful, Lana.”

“I’m okay,” she said, her voice thick with tears.

Hawk sighed and sat down on the stairs, pulling her onto his lap and hugging her close. His scent did things to her, calming her frazzled nerves and allowing the tears to pour. She cried on his chest, letting all the pain, fear of the last year, and her embarrassment wash away. He murmured in her ear, words she couldn’t understand, but she loved the sound of them. Despite her figure, Hawk still dwarfed her, leaving her with a fragile feeling she’d never thought she’d experience. Wrapped in his tight embrace, she felt small and feminine. Not easy for a size eighteen, six-foot-one woman to feel. She bunched his denim shirt into her hands and pulled him close.

“I’m going to regret this,” he said.

“What?”

“If you want me to be your first, there will be no strings, no tomorrow. In the morning, when this is over, let me go back to just being your bodyguard. I’ll give you what you need tonight, the escape you’re searching for, but only tonight.” Hawk pressed her head against his chest when she tried to sit up. “Just sit there and think about it for a moment. Is that going to be enough?”

Lana listened to his heart pound under her ear, the steady thump echoing into her bloodstream. Was it enough? She wasn’t so sure she could have a night of meaningless sex just to feel better in the now. In fact, she knew she couldn’t. His body around her made her feel safe and comforted, but she didn’t want to have a temporary fix. She’d spent her whole life looking for someone worthy of giving herself to, and though she was attracted to Hawk, and knew he had good standing after the way he’d reacted to Jake with the horses, or even her clumsy attempt to seduce him, she didn’t know him.

Finally, she pushed away from him and met his gaze. “No, I don’t want temporary.”

“Dammit, woman.”

Then, he sealed his lips to hers.