BRENNA

 

“I feel like I’m drowning here,” I say and flop back onto the bed.

“It’s not like you to be such a drama queen. That’s my job,” Liv says from my computer. “If you hate it so much, why don’t you sell that place and move back here? With all the money from that insanely expensive apartment, you can buy a sweet place. Then I wouldn’t have to admire you from afar.”

Liv makes a kissy noise that sounds a bit like a dying porpoise. I sit up and stare at my best friend and business partner. I miss her like crazy, but there’s no way around it; I have to stay.

“I told you before I left, this is a permanent move.”

“I don’t get it. Your mom and stepdad up and die and you have to rearrange your entire life?” Liv leans back in her chair, frustrated. “This is exactly what happened when your dad died, only this time, you’re the one ruining your life.”

“When my mother sold our house and moved me to a different school after my dad’s death, I was devastated, and I never forgave her. That’s exactly why I’m staying. Landon just lost both his parents. I won’t force him out of his home, too.”

“I know that sweetie.” Liv sighs in acquiescence. We’ve already had this argument a half dozen times. I know she’s got my best interest at heart, but there’s more than just me to think about. “I’m just worried about you. You have a life here. Friends. A business. And now you’re back at that place, filled with nothing but bad memories.”

“They weren’t all bad,” I say, thinking about Tyler for what must be the millionth time since moving back.

Did he ever tell his dad off and leave town? Does he hate me for going without him?

“Yeah, you told me all about the hot guy in 12A. But he’s not there to fix your problems with his magic penis.”

“Magic what?” I choke, thankful I wasn’t drinking anything. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Magic penis. You know you slept with him, and magically all your problems were solved.”

“Sleeping with him didn’t solve my problems. If anything, my relationship with him complicated things.”

“Don’t you see what happened? You were too scared to leave, but after that summer of loving, you gained the courage to fly the nest.” She leaned forward again with a look in her eyes that always worried me. “Oh my god, that’s it. That’s exactly what you need right now. You need to find another magic penis to get your confidence back.”

“Liv you’re being ridiculous. I called for advice, and the best you’ve got is sleep around.”

“No, you’re not listening. It’s not about sleeping around. The point is to find someone that can give you your confidence back.”

Immediately, Dean pops into my mind. He is kind and funny and offered to me help me. And after talking to him, I stopped worrying that I was screwing everything up. Maybe Liv is onto something.

“And once you find that guy, then screw his brains out.”

I can’t help but laugh. Liv is ridiculous, but she is also right—in a way. I need someone here who can be my ally. A friend. Maybe that someone is Dean.

“I’ve got to go and make sure Landon is getting ready for bed,” I say. “Love you, Liv.”

“Love your stupid face, too. Call me in the morning so we can schedule work for next week?”

I nod, feeling every inch of the thousand miles that separate us. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

I head to the back of the apartment where Landon sequesters himself most days and knock on the door. Only the muted sound of electronic dance music filters out of his room. I knock again, but still no answer. I check the time on my phone. It’s possible he could have gone to bed, but with the music blaring, it’s not likely. I give it one more try before opening the door.

“Hello?” I yell over the throbbing bass. The room is pretty much what I expected; a bit of a mess with a strange odor that can only be described as dirty laundry and Doritos. “Landon? It’s time for bed.”

The room is big. It’s almost as big as my old apartment, but not so big that you’d miss a twelve-year-old boy. He isn’t there. I switch off the music and check the living room, but he’s not watching TV. At this point, I’m starting to worry. There are still a few other rooms in this massive apartment he might be in, so I head back down the hall calling his name.

“Landon! Landon, you better not be hiding from me. This isn’t funny. Come out.”

I make quick work of checking the rest of the house, but don’t find him. I pick up my phone and shoot off a series of texts.

I consider calling Liv to see if she can track his phone. It wouldn’t take her long to break his password. But what if he isn’t using the find my phone feature, it would be hard to track. Maybe I should call the police department and see if they can run a trace on his phone. But do I want to get the police involved? I can just imagine how that’s going to play out. I’ve been Landon’s guardian for less than two weeks, and I’ve already lost him.

My phone buzzes in my hand and I look down, relieved to see a message from Landon.

I curse at my phone. God, I want to punch that kid sometimes. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m the adult here.

I pace the living room while I wait for a response. He is taking his sweet time. I should be relieved that he’s okay, but I am more than pissed.  And he isn’t doing himself any favors by not texting me back. I am compiling a list of all the punishments I can think of, starting with an ankle monitor. I can probably hunt one of those down on the web.

The phone buzzes again.

I blink at the number, memories flooding back. 12A was my sanctuary for most of the four years I lived here. And that’s where Landon is playing with his friend.

Is it possible that Tyler still lives there? With a wife and child?

The thought makes me a little queasy. He has every right to move on with his life. But in my mind he’ll always be that eighteen-year-old boy I fell in love with.

I’m being stupid. He has to be long gone, for sure. There is some inconsiderate family living in 12A now that doesn’t care that their son has a friend over at eleven on a school night.

I grab my hoodie off the back of the sofa and stalk to the elevator, preparing myself. I don’t care if this is what Landon is used to, from now on, he has a curfew.

I step off the elevator and stare at the door. I actually still have the key in my jewelry box—well, the key to Tyler’s apartment. I’m sure whoever lives here now has changed the locks long ago. I take a deep breath and knock on the door, pushing away old memories.

And wait, but nothing. I knock again and listen for any sounds coming from the other side of the door, but I don’t hear anything. I knock again, harder. I am going to kill Landon if he sent me up to an empty apartment. I pull out my phone and am in the middle of an all-caps text when the door opens.

“Can I help you?”

I suck in a breath at the sound of that voice. It’s a little deeper, a little more mature, but unmistakable.

“Tyler? What are you doing here?” I say, trying to slow down my breathing. After all these years, you wouldn’t think he’d still have that effect on me.

“Brenna?” he says with a note of disappointment. “I should probably ask you the same question.”

It’s like he dumped a cold bucket of water over me. I shake it off. I’m not that same girl desperate for his approval anymore. I straighten my shoulders and look him straight in those whiskey-copper eyes. “I’m here to get Landon. It might be okay for your son to stay up this late, but it’s past eleven and Landon has school tomorrow.”

Tyler just stood there blinking down at me. “That really was you the other day. I was so sure I’d know you anywhere, but here you are,” he says as if trying to convince himself. “Wait a minute. What did you say? My son?”

“Landon said he was with his friend. I just assumed it was your son. Step-son?” I ask when he wrinkles his nose. That would make more sense. Tyler was just a year older than me, and he certainly didn’t have a toddler when I left.

“I don’t have a son,” he says still confused.

“Your daughter?”

“I don’t have any kids.”

Admittedly, I’m relieved, but that doesn’t explain why my brother is here. Maybe the little asshole set me up. “Is Landon here? I’m sorry. He told me he was up here.”

Tyler shook his head and finally stopped staring at me like I’d grown a tail or something. “Yeah, we’re just finishing up a level of War Strike.” He drops his head and gives me those puppy dog eyes that always turned my insides to goo. “Don’t be mad at him. You know how it is, time got away from me. I didn’t realize how late it was.”

A hot blush creeps over my face, and I stare at the floor. I remember several nights on the roof when we’d stayed up well into the early morning hours talking. Time got away from us. That was always our excuse.

“I won’t,” I say a little too breathy and rub my arm, trying to get rid of the goosebumps he’s gaze is causing.

Tyler steps into the hall, getting so close I can feel the heat radiating off his body, but not touching me. The hallway feels like all the oxygen has been sucked out and I can’t catch my breath. He reaches out, and my skin tingles in anticipation as if the memory of that touch is imprinted on a cellular level.

But his arm drops and he shakes his head as if trying to get rid of a thought. “What happened, Brenna?”

My stomach twists at the question. I’ve had this conversation a million times in my head. The truth is, I made a mistake. I should have stayed. I should have talked to him before I left. There are a million I should haves that haunt me, but there’s no going back.

“I’m sorry,” I say in a bare whisper. “I made a bad decision. One I’ve regretted ever since.”

“You’re sorry?” Tyler asks, tipping up my chin. There’s anger in his eyes, but also something else. He steps closer, invading my space. “We had a plan. We were going to leave together. Why did you go without me?”

“Because you father asked me to,” I say, honestly. “He told me about the cancer. I know you were angry after he left your mom, but you would have regretted not staying.”

“Don’t you think that should have been my choice?” he says.

He’s so close. His hot breath tickles my skin, making me tingle all over. I want him to touch me, kiss me, slap me…something. Anything.

“You would have chosen me,” I say.

“You’re right.”

He lets go of my chin, and his fingers brush along my jaw, down my neck to the tattoo that rests on my collarbone. I bite my lips to hold back the moan growing in my throat. God, it feels so good to have his hands on me again.

“You’re also right about my dad. We patched things up, and I’m glad I stayed.” He lets out a breath, emotions warring in those serious whiskey-colored eyes. “You could have waited for me.”

Now it’s my turn to get angry. “You know I couldn’t stay here. This place was killing me,” I reply. Besides that, I did wait. I waited for almost eight fucking years for him to follow. I squeeze my eyes shut and beat back years of emotions. “You could have called me. I kept the same number all these years, hoping one day you would.”

“Seriously, Brenna? I told you I’d be home after I finished this level,” Landon says storming through the door. “We all died by the way. Thanks a lot.”

“Dude, don’t be an asshole,” Tyler says and takes a step away. “Next time ask your sister before you come over.”

Landon rolls his eyes. That boy is going to hurt himself doing that—or I’m going to hurt him. Either way, nothing good will come from him rolling his eyes at me.

“Go downstairs and get ready for bed,” I say. “We’ll talk about this later.”

The elevator doors close, but not before I see him flip me off. Deep breath. Things have to get better. It can’t get much worse.

I turn back to see Tyler staring at me with a frown. “I can’t do this, again,” he said, shaking his head. “It was nice seeing you again, Brenna.”

And with that Tyler turns and shuts the door behind him.

I’m left alone standing in the hall, confused and a little hurt. What just happened?

When I get back to my apartment, I find that Landon has locked himself in his bedroom with the music turned up. Whatever.

At least, I can relate to his current mood.

My own emotions are ragged after the scare and running into Tyler like that. The icy reception stung, not that I expected anything else.

As much as I want to dissect that unsettled conversation, I can’t. I push away thoughts of Tyler. Because right now, I have to deal with my brother.