FIVE
I woke up with a start, my damp hair sticking to my scalp with sweat, my heart pounding. My first thought was that I’d awoken from a nightmare but I couldn’t remember dreaming anything.
The room was almost blue in the moonlight that shone through the window. I could make out clouds of what appeared to be smoke wafting in hazy spirals around the room. My head was groggy while the rest of my body seemed strangely exhausted.
Some noise must have woken me up. I looked down and saw my hands still clutching the mattress, and my arms spread wide. Where was Ryan? My thoughts were abruptly ended when two warm hands gripped the back of my thighs and a hot, familiar mouth planted an enthusiastic kiss between my legs. I instantly moaned, the sound in my ears making me finally realize that was the noise that woke me up.
I sank back into the bed, my anxiety fading to grogginess as I surrendered myself to Ryan. My hands combed through his silky hair and the last lucid thought I had was that it was late at night. Ryan was clearly wide awake—and the tops of his eyes reflected the white, milky moon. I smiled to myself as one word formed on my lips. Insatiable.
***
Without opening my eyes, I knew it was morning by the brightness coming through my eyelids. Damn those big, beautiful windows! My head throbbed and my mouth was dry. I took a deep, cleansing breath, but it didn’t help much. Finally, I slowly opened my eyes, and the sunlight that assaulted my senses caused my head to throb faster.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to ease the throbbing, but soon gave up and turned my attention to Ryan. He was lying on his stomach, sound asleep, breathing softly, the bare skin of his broad back pleasantly exposed. I smirked as I thought about the night before, then stretched and yawned, wondering if coffee would clear the fuzziness from my head.
I threw the blankets off me, letting my legs fall over the side of the bed. Then I realized I was still naked except for my bra. My forehead furrowed. I hadn’t gone to bed with my bra on. Or did I? I looked down and noticed a splash of a mud-colored substance on one of my ankles. For a moment, I just stared at it, but when I pulled my leg up closer to my face, the strange grogginess in my head slammed me again. My foot was mud-colored because it was covered in mud. What the? And even worse, the bottom of my foot was black with dirt. I lifted my other foot. The same.
Ryan stirred behind me, drawing in a deep breath that meant he was coming out of sleep. Then his arm slid around my waist and he pulled me back down into bed.
“You’re naked.” He tugged me into the middle of the bed, then positioned himself on top of me.
Instead of commenting on the fact that he too was naked, I said, “And dirty.”
Ryan’s lips pulled back in a grin as his eyes glistened with devilish fun.
“No,” I said, shaking my head as the uneasy feeling in my gut eclipsed Ryan’s charms. “My feet are dirty. As in: they have actual dirt on them. Mud.”
The playful smile vanished from Ryan’s mouth as confusion took over. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” I answered as I lifted my feet out in front of me and eyed them again. “It’s like I was walking around barefoot or something,” I said, the uncomfortable feeling ratcheting up a notch. “But as you know,” I gestured with my hands, “I was sleeping.” I gently pushed him away so I could sit up and show him my bra. “And I don’t remember wearing this when I fell asleep.” As I said the words, my eyes narrowed. I couldn’t quite remember falling asleep, now that I thought about it.
Ryan was studying me, well, mostly my breasts, but he finally looked up at my face and said, “Are you sure?”
I looked at him for a beat, then slumped with a sigh. “No, I’m not sure about the bra. I am pretty sure that I didn’t go to sleep with mud all over my feet though.”
He eased himself over to me, and kissed my upper arm. “You’re constantly running around with bare feet.”
He had a point. I couldn’t remember the last time I put shoes on to go to his house, which was right down the street from mine. That would explain my dirty soles, but mud?
“Pey, stop stressing about it. You must not have realized how filthy your feet were before you came to bed last night.”
Even though it failed to make any sense, I rubbed my head, wishing the tension and fogginess would go away. I felt like I hadn’t slept all night.
“Need some coffee?” Ryan asked as he glanced past me to look at the clock. His face went from relaxed to alert in an instant. “What time are we meeting Lovie and Christopher before we head over to Guarda’s?”
I turned to look at the clock, then huffed a breath of impatience that we slept so late.
“You’re rubbing off on me,” Ryan said as he got out of bed with a yawn, and stooped to reach for his clothes.
“Me? You were the one who woke me up in the middle of the night, and then left me practically comatose with all your…” I waved my hands in the general direction of his face. “I still can’t think straight apparently.” I gave up looking for my panties and threw on a robe. I wondered if Drake would be mad at me for keeping him shut out in the dark for so long. The alternative was to let him witness the sexcapades with Ryan, so I guessed he’d understand.
Ryan’s face emerged from the crinkled t-shirt he was pulling down over his wonderfully sculpted chest. The playful smirk returned, but his eyes were curious with puzzlement. “Middle of the night?” He tugged at the hem of his t-shirt to straighten it. “Did you sleepwalk to your other boyfriend’s house or something?”
I looked at him through lowered eyes. “You don’t remember? The, um… you…”
Ryan’s eyebrows rose as he waited for me to spit it out.
“The kissing?” When he didn’t say anything, I pointed to my groin with both hands.
Ryan’s eyes reflexively went to the place I was pointing to.
“The,” I made grabbing motions with my fingers, “the thigh grasping?”
Ryan’s smirk lengthened to a smile, then he busied himself with putting on his pants. “Last thing I remember was you…” his voice trailed off as he buttoned his jeans, and his eyes focused on some far off point as he scratched his head. “I remember the hall, carrying you to bed…” He took a deep breath and shrugged. “I don’t remember any kissing.” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, before gazing into my eyes with a naughty gleam in his. “But I’ll be happy to recreate your dream later.”
“But,” I started, and my brain registered that something was not right about his reaction—he seemed to have no clue what I was talking about. But he absolutely woke me up last night with his head between my thighs before we had crazy passionate sex for over an hour. How could he have forgotten that? Before I could further question him, he was already out the door, and on his way to the kitchen.
I scrambled to find my slippers, still wondering what the hell happened last night before I remembered to tune Drake back into the world. Stealing another glance at the clock, I grumbled as I internally chanted the words to allow Drake back into my reality.
I paused at the silence that greeted me. Drake?
Kind of you, mon chaton, to remember my existence! There was a measured beat of silence. Did you just get out of bed? Another beat. And I see you are only clothed in your robe.
Look at my feet, I said to shut him up. I lifted one foot to reveal the bottom of it, and looked at it so that he could see it through my eyes.
Yes, it’s filthy. What do you expect? You never put on shoes.
I woke up with them like this but I don’t remember doing anything that would get them this dirty! I switched the topic to a different troubling fact. And then Ryan… I abruptly ended my sentence as I realized what I was about to explain to Drake. Ryan couldn’t recall being awake in the middle of the night, I said carefully.
Are you saying what I think you are saying? Drake asked.
What do you think I’m saying? I replied as I thumped down the stairs. Instead of heading to the kitchen, I detoured to the front door so I could grab the paper off the doorstep and give Drake and me a little more time to chat.
That you had relations with le barberian and he doesn’t remember? He sounded on the verge of outrage. There was no use denying it.
Yup. That is what I’m saying.
Drake made several noises that sounded like a feeble attempt at words, but nothing coherent came out.
And the dirt. What about the dirt on my feet? I mean, what the hell is that about? I lifted the paper from the step, and wrapped my robe tighter around me as I went back inside.
Was he drunk? Drake demanded.
No, he wasn’t drunk. I chucked the paper on a decorative table by the door and headed toward the kitchen.
Maybe he was and you weren’t aware. Maybe he is one of those closet alcoholics. He does get temperamental quite often.
I audibly scoffed and walked into the kitchen, making Ryan look up from what he was doing at the stove.
“Do you want eggs?” Ryan asked.
I cleared the emotion from my face. “Eggs sound great.” I shot him a smile and pecked his cheek. “Thanks.”
Perhaps tonight you should do an experiment, Drake said.
I turned away from Ryan, busying myself by getting some coffee. What do you mean?
I assume he initiated your… tryst?
Yes, I replied, but why would you assume that?
I am aware of how much you love your sleep, mon chaton. If he were me, I would…
“How’s Drake this morning?” Ryan asked, and his tone was borderline sarcastic.
Drake was just about to seduce me with his wit and charm, Drake answered in a falsetto voice to mimic mine.
Oh, come on. I mean, really, Drake? Before I took a sip of my coffee, I said to Ryan, “He’s grumpy that we took our sweet time last night.”
Drake didn’t miss a beat before continuing. And Drake would have been so thrilled by what he was doing to me, I’m sure he’d have remembered every detail of every…
You’re being ridiculously childish.
Ryan eased up behind me, his breath at my ear as he grabbed a handful of my right butt cheek. “Terribly sorry.”
Is he coming on to me? Drake quipped.
His response was so quick and perfectly timed that I couldn’t help giggling. Ryan smiled at my response, thinking my reaction was for him. I smiled back before taking another drink of coffee while trying to ignore the instant twinge of guilt I felt.
Are you calmer now? Can you tell me your experiment idea without coming unhinged? I asked Drake, hoping he could just tell me so that I didn’t upset Ryan by being so focused on Drake.
I am not unhinged.
The experiment? I prodded, letting some annoyance seep into my voice.
Well, I was thinking, if the barbarian wakes you up tonight, just slap him across the face and see what happens.
I fought to outwardly portray neutrality on my face instead of allowing my eyes to glaze over in exasperation.
But before you do that, make sure I’m there to see it. So I can assess…
I said the words to shut Drake out again, and the silence that ensued made me slightly lonely.
“I’m going to get in the shower,” Ryan said, standing up at the kitchen table. He wolfed down his food in practically two bites and chugged his coffee.
My food was still untouched.
“Coming?” he asked in a deep, suggestive tone.
I gave him a small smile. “In a minute.”
Ryan smiled and kissed my forehead, then he went to have his shower.
I sat in the quiet, wondering how long Drake would require to unwind enough to take what I was saying seriously. I needed him and his analytical mind, not petty jealousy. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right, and obviously, Ryan couldn’t help me.
I pushed back from the table and tossed my uneaten food in the trash before joining Ryan in the shower. I couldn’t help thinking I ought to pay more attention to where I was stepping.