Ashley

I pulled up to Cass’s apartment and started for her door. I needed to talk to my best friend. I didn’t need a lecture, and I didn’t need her telling me what to do. I needed a decent, extremely biased conversation. I needed her to be in my corner to try and sympathize with me. I clutched the two coffees I held in my hands as I reached my foot out, knocking my toe against her door.

She whipped it open and cooed at Chipper before she took a coffee from my hand.

“Did we have a date I forgot about?”

“No,” I said. “But I do need something from you.”

“What’s up?” Cass asked.

“I need my best friend.”

“You’ve got me,” she said.

“No. I need my biased best friend, the one that’s always in my corner, the one who’s ready to bash heads in the second I start crying because she thinks someone’s hurt me.”

“Has someone hurt you?”

“Can you give that to me? Can you give me that person today?”

“Of course, I can. What's going on, Ashley?”

“Things with Jimmy are falling apart.”

“Did you tell him what you knew?” she asked.

“No, I haven’t yet.”

“Why the hell not? You have to.”

“No, I can’t. You don’t get it. He’s already upset with me over fuck-knows-what. He’s been acting weird and pushing me away, and I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“The first thing you need to do is tell him about—”

“I’m not here to talk about work!”

Cass jumped back as tears rose to my eyes. Why couldn’t she do this for me? My life was falling apart, and I still had to go see my mother, and I was trying to raise my spirits. I wanted someone to tell me Jimmy was being an asshole, that none of this was my fault, he was being a dick, and that I had nothing to worry about. I didn’t want to talk about work or L.R. or who I thought it was. I didn’t want to talk about Markus or our conversation or even fathom how Jimmy would react once I told him my theory.

“Okay. I’m sorry. Um, what’s going on with you and Jimmy?” Cass asked.

“I think he’s upset that I even found the error in the first place.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about work,” she said.

“As long as you don’t tell me to tell him shit, we’ll be okay,” I said.

“Okay. As long as you know that’s where my opinion lies.”

“He’s been pushing me away. A bunch of us went out to a late lunch yesterday after a financial meeting, and he didn’t even sit next to me.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I thought it was because he didn’t trust me or something. You know, because of the sick days that weren't sick days. But then we had a meeting that went horribly wrong, and he looked at me and told me to take a few deep breaths. He said we would find a way out of this and that he trusted me. Looked me right in my eyes and said it.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“Why has he been avoiding me if he trusts me?” I asked.

“Is he still avoiding you?”

“Yeah. I called Jimmy this morning to see if he wanted to do dinner tonight. You know, to talk about that thing.”

“Good. What did he say?”

“He turned me down. Said he was going golfing with Markus and to dinner with him after and that we could meet up tomorrow,” I said.

“So you meet him tomorrow.”

“You don’t get it. When Markus first got to town, Jimmy couldn’t get me out with him enough. Every time they got together, he wanted me there. The night before last, they went out for drinks. Markus’s girlfriend went, but Jimmy didn’t invite me. I even offered to keep him company, and he said no.”

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Cass. I really don’t. I told him to call me if he could whenever he got home and was safe, but his call never came. I stayed up until one thirty waiting for it.”

“Fuck him, then. If this isn’t a trust issue, then he’s got no reason to treat you this way. And even if he did have trust issues, he needs to be a damn adult and talk to you about it instead of acting like a fucking toddler.”

“Thanks, Cass.”

“No, I’m fucking serious. Ashley, if he’s doing things like this to you and pushing you away, then I’d be concerned that this Markus asshole is saying something about you in his ear.”

“But Markus likes me,” I said. “He wouldn’t do that. Right?”

“This Markus guy a businessman?”

“Yeah. He’s Jimmy’s mentor.”

“Then his opinion means a lot to Jimmy. He’s talking about you. Jimmy’s got something up his ass, and instead of talking to you about it, he’s dancing around you.”

“How do I get him to talk to me?” I asked.

“Corner him. Ask him point blank what’s wrong.”

“I did that already. The meeting interrupted us yesterday.”

“Then do it again and again until he finally comes clean. You said the two of you were getting together tomorrow, right?”

“If he doesn’t cancel, yeah.”

“Then do it tomorrow. Corner his ass and man up. Then grow some balls, woman up, and tell him what you need to tell him,” she said.

“I knew you were gonna slip that in there somewhere.”

“I held out as long as I could. You’ll be okay, Ashley. I know you like this guy but dating in the workplace is hard. And if this all goes south, you’ll have me.”

“Thanks, Cass.”

“Got any plans for your day?”

“I’m going to see my mom. They’ve approved Chipper coming if I meet Mom outside, so I’m gonna introduce her to the newest addition to my family,” I said.

“I think she’ll like that. If anything, she’ll like the fact that your dad hated dogs.”

“That’s what I’m banking on.”

I hugged Cass’s neck and set off for the nursing home. I tried to shove Jimmy to the back of my mind as I parked my car. This was time spent with my mother. This wasn't time for him to be ruining. I had to let go of whatever was going on between us and be there for my mother. She was rocking on the porch with a nurse at her side, and she looked like she was having a good day.

I drew in a deep breath before I picked up Chipper and got out of my car.

“That my Ashley I see?” my mother asked.

“And Chipper,” I said.

“You brought a rat to see me?” she asked.

“It’s a beagle puppy,” I said. “His name’s Chipper.”

“Your father hated dogs.”

“Which was why I got one.”

“I like the way you think,” she said with a grin.

“How are you feeling today?”

“I’m doing all right. Slept until nine this morning.”

“That’s late for you. Stay up late partying?” I asked.

I set Chipper in my mom’s lap, and a small smile crept across her cheeks.

“A game of pinochle got a little rowdy last night,” my mother said.

“Sounds like a good story. What happened?” I asked.

“I don’t wanna waste my time talking about some card game. I want you to tell me how your new job is going.”

I was shocked she remembered and felt my spirits lifting even more.

“It’s going well. We’ve hit some snags, but that’s corporate life. I got moved into a new place, and I love it, thanks to my fun new paycheck.”

“I noticed my account had more money in it than I recalled,” she said.

“Consider it an early birthday present.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to spend it on. I never go anywhere,” she said.

“Then go somewhere now. Take one of those trips with the pinochle gang and treat them to lunch. I’m sure they would love that. And you might too.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed something like that. I just might.”

“I think you should,” I said.

The two of us sat there, rocking in chairs on the porch of the nursing home. She was stroking Chipper, and he was falling asleep in her lap. I took in the sun on my face and the comfort it brought to be sitting there, talking with my mother.

Then, I heard her rocking chair stop.

“Mom?” I asked.

“What’s this dog doing in my lap?” she asked.

I looked up at the nurse before she gathered Chipper off my mother.

“Whose dog was that?”

“I’m sorry. He’s mine,” I said.

My mother’s gaze whipped over to me, and I could tell she didn’t recognize me.

“Who are you? Why am I outside?”

“I came to visit. We’re sitting outside for it,” I said.

“I never gave my permission to come outside. That’s how it works, right? You have to have my permission?”

“Why don’t we get you inside, Mrs. Ternbeau?” the nurse asked.

“Who is this woman? Why am I out here with her?” my mother asked.

I stood from the rocking chair as tears rose to my eyes.

“I think I should go,” I said.

“What in the world is happening? Why would you put me out here with a stranger? I don’t feel safe here anymore. Get me out of here. Call my daughter. Tell her to come get me!”

I clutched Chipper close to me as I made my way to my car. Tears were welling in my eyes as I ducked down into my car. I watched the nurse walk my mother inside, her voice getting louder with each complaint. She was demanding they call me even though I was sitting right there. She was telling them she didn’t feel safe there any longer if they were willing to sit her out on the porch with a stranger.

She wanted me to come and fix it, but she couldn’t even recognize me.

I settled Chipper in the passenger’s seat as my phone rang. Someone from inside the nursing home was calling, and I debated whether to pick it up. I knew my mother was in good hands. I knew they were doing the best for her that they could. I had the strongest urge to call Jimmy, but I knew he would be angry with me.

Interrupting his guy time or whatever with Markus.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Ashley, I’m so sorry,” the nurse said.

“It’s okay. She was lucid there for a little while, and that’s all that matters,” I said.

“I wanted you to know that the nurse has her calm. She’s about to sit down and eat lunch.”

“Thanks for calling. Take care of her, okay?” I asked.

“I know you don’t always agree with what we do in the moment, but she is loved here.”

“I know she is. It’s hard to watch her constantly bucking against people and having to be poked with needles. I hate needles, and I know she hates them too.”

I heaved a heavy sigh as I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel.

“Thank you for everything you do for my mother,” I said.

“That’s what we’re here for. But she’s settled and eating lunch, and I figured you might want to know,” the nurse said.

“Thanks. If she asks about me again, tell her I love her, and I’ll be by soon.”

“We always do because we know you’ll make good on your word. You’d be surprised the number of people we have here who don’t have family visit them ever.”

“Well, that’ll never be my mother, okay?” I asked.

“We know. For what it’s worth, when she does talk about you, her face lights up.”

A tear streamed down my cheek as I drew in a shaky breath.

“I’ll talk to you guys soon,” I said.

“Talk to you soon,” the nurse said.