It was near three in the morning when Nicole opened her eyes and focused on a familiar silhouette in the doorway, watching over her. "Captain?" she asked softly.

 

"Oh, shit," Lou whispered quietly, "Sorry, baby. I didn't mean to wake you."

 

"Did you come for me?"

 

"Well, your man did, that young fellow, Cole, and he let me tag along," Lou told her, stepping a little closer with his hat in his hand.

 

She thought about that, "I think I remember that. I think I remember him carrying me."

 

"That's good; that's real good. Recall is a good sign," Lou said, keeping his voice low, stepping a little closer.

 

"My brain isn't right, though, Captain. I can feel it isn't right. Is this how it is going to be now? Like this?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

 

"No, no, baby, this is only a few hours after treatment. They're going to get you back to yourself. You're going to be all right and clear as summer," Lou assured her.

 

Nicole nodded her head and tried to believe him.

 

Lou came farther in and sat on the edge of her bed. "So, so you and Cole. You serious about him? Cause he's very serious about you. Gabriel -- may he rot in hell -- could tell you just how serious he is."

 

She studied Lou's eyes and saw that this really was Captain talking to her, then she nodded. "I think I was serious our first date. It was…"

 

Lou waited for a moment, and then urged her with, "Go on. I would like to hear it."

 

"I'm just trying to figure out how to describe it, Captain. We connected in this really strong way. I don't mean like just having feelings for each other, but… rather… having each other's feelings. I could feel what he was feeling so strongly they were like my own, but felt more distant than mine. And we knew things about each other that neither of us could possibly know. And we felt, saw, and envisioned what we were going to be to each other in ten years. It was so real, so amazingly real, and wonderful. But it kind of scares me."

 

Lou looked down at the hat in his hand and rolled it slowly with the brim, as if deep in thought and then with a nodding of his head he said, "That's … well that's how it was with me and Ciri. It's very strange, after all these years, to hear someone else describe what we went through. All these years, and…huh. Strange."

 

"Seriously?" she asked, her eyes wide.

 

Lou nodded, giving her a glance and then looking at his hat, turning the brim, "It scared us to death; it really did, because you know, we were both raised in old Catholic families and things like this…these connections… they just weren't natural. Like when we were on our fifth day together, she was very upset with me for lying to her about getting hurt.

 

"She says, 'I know you are lying, Louis Donadio, because you are doing that thing with your cheek and you always do that thing with your cheek. For years, I see you do this thing and every time, it is a lie coming out of your lips.' And I have to tell you -- one, she was right. I was doing that thing with my cheek and I was lying. But two, that was only our fifth day together, not years together, and she was talking to me like it was our seventh anniversary or something. Like she knew all kinds of things about me.

 

"Then, I suddenly knew things about her. I knew how she ate her food and that she didn't like marinara sauce ‘cause it was too sweet. She liked to sit in the front of the movie house, not the back. I knew she was so afraid of spiders she would rather burn down the house to get rid of one than to come close enough to squash it with a napkin. But what really threw me is I knew how she liked it in bed and, baby, we were still virgins at that time."

 

Nicole had risen and sat up as he was talking, "Exactly; that is it exactly."

"Now," Lou smiled wanly, "Now you're going to ask me what it is, or where it comes from. But I have been asking that myself since that fifth day with Ciri and I have never gotten an answer. Not one. I've spent a great deal of money looking for that answer, too, but not even a glimmer."

 

"Does it still happen?" Nicole asked.

 

Lou smiled and played with his hat some more, "Yes and no. I'm sure it is the same thing. It has that strong sense of double reality to it, like you are living twice at once. Like there are four people there and not just two.

 

"But now…it is like strong reminders of who we were back then. I'll kiss her and suddenly it is twenty years ago, twenty-five years ago, even thirty years ago, and she's still so young and firm, and we are just married and no kids, and so passionate about each other that we can hardly stand not to be touching. And I remember things like what chocolates she enjoyed and how she used to make these little napkin things for Easter, and that she really likes purple daisies and all these little things about her that made her happy and gave her joy.

 

"Some of these things I didn't notice back then, but when they pop into my memory, I can look back and I see that, yeah, she did do that, or she did like that. So, I've been getting her these little things and she's been doing it, too. And it's like we are …" he shrugged. "I don't know. I don't have the words. What's deeper than falling in love again?"

 

Nicole leaned her head against his shoulder, "I don't know, but it sounds good."

 

"It is good. It really is. And it's good to share that with someone, especially you, ‘cause you are like the star for new beginnings. You guide ships out of the fog and it has been a serious pleasure to know you."

 

"No more model building with us and no more row row, either. Are you sad?"

 

"Yes, because I'm a naturally selfish man; just ask Ciri; she'll tell you all about it. But only because of my selfishness am I sad. When I get my head out of my own ass, I'm very, very happy for you. And, when he finally gets around to it, I wouldn't mind getting an invitation to the wedding," Lou told her.

 

"I'll hand deliver it," she smiled.