With four cups of specialty coffee, my chai tea, muffins, and a box of fresh gourmet coffee in hand, I arrive at Belladonna about twenty minutes later. As I lean against the door to stabilize everything and grab my keys from my pocket, it swings open, and I all but fall inside. Juggling the coffee as not to spill any, I heave a huge sigh. Taking a deep breath, I resign myself not to explode at the first person I come in contact with. The stress of the unlocked door before business hours is currently the least of my issues. Besides, the guys are here somewhere. And I'm pretty confident that Adam keeps a baseball bat behind the bar, as he's said so on multiple occasions. He wants the girls to have protection on the nights they close alone.

Sunlight pours in from the windows and skylights. That, along with the mood lighting over the bar, and by the wood burning flat-bread oven, are the only lights on in the restaurant. The open concept, allowing people to see a little of what is going on in the kitchen, had not been my idea. In the beginning, I fought against having it. But between Trey, Wes, Wes’s brothers Sam and Noel, my brother Ben, and Torrance, the concept took shape. I have to admit that it does soften the exposed stone walls and the slate bar and counter tops. The extra light from all the windows and skylights also helps to soften the overall look of the restaurant.

The front-of-the-house staff continue to bustle about and don’t acknowledge me when I come in, even with all the racket I’m making. I place my breakfast, along with the treats and coffee I've gotten for the kitchen staff, on the hostess stand and turn back to lock the door.

It isn't until I get close to the bar that someone finally perks up and comes to help me. Adam, my bar manager, and one of only a few people I trust completely, is at my side in a few quick strides. He takes his cup out of the holder, as he picks up the box of fresh coffee from the stand.

"Calla, what are you doing here? Didn't we tell you to take the day off?" he questions in a growly voice, frowning down at me.

Over the years, he's become like a brother to me, and his wife, Nessa, a sister. On that disastrous night a year ago, it was their house I ran to. I knew they’d take me in and be of comfort without any tension like Wes or Trey's places would’ve created.

Wes, Trey, and Forest are the other men I trust completely. They are presumably in the kitchen at this time of the day. Well, Forest isn’t. He’s still on vacation with his daughter, Ella.

Adam stands almost eye-level with me at his five-foot-eight height as I look him over. Today he is wearing gray slacks and a rich blue button-up shirt, with the top two buttons unbuttoned. With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he’s showing off the ink on his right forearm. It all looks good on his lean frame, and the blue shirt draws out his stormy blue eyes.

Damn! Nessa has great taste in clothes. One of these days, I may finally let her take me shopping. Though, when would I wear anything she’d pick out? I'm always in jeans and my coat.

"Yes, the three of you did tell me to take the day off, but I have too many things to do here." I keep walking while taking the first sip of my chai.

"Wes and Trey aren’t going to be happy. It's like you don't trust us."

I snort. "Should I?” I tease. “Yes, I’ve known you guys for years. And you know I trust all of you. But what is it, exactly, that you want me to do tonight?"

He knows I trust them completely. He also knows I am still on the fence about dating again. All of them, including Nessa, have been pushing me to date since six weeks after “the incident.” I haven’t been able to, though. Since that night, I haven’t fully trusted myself in any aspect of my life, and it is showing in everything I cook.

Adam's cheeks flush, and I conclude that the “boys” have been talking about me. Again.

“Which one of you three said something? Don’t answer that! Let me guess...Wes.” I roll my eyes. “It went something like this, right? ‘It's been too long. She needs to get laid.’" My voice drops a few octaves to match Wes’s pitch.

Laughter erupts from Adam’s throat. “You nailed it!” He grins and winks. “Seriously, we want you to take the night off. Honestly, I don’t care what you do, just do something fun. We’ll take care of everything. I’ll even call Nessa and see if she can help out in the kitchen if you want.”

“Fine. But I do have a few things to get done here this morning. Also, I think I want us to have a meeting sometime in the next few days. Something needs to change.” I murmur the last few words, hoping Adam doesn’t hear.

“Calla, we are willing to do whatever is needed to make you happy, and to get you out of the rut you’re in.”

“Thank you.” My eyes start to sting, as I fight back the tears.

I need to put in a few orders for the rest of the week and make sure the meat is fresh for the next two nights. But after hearing Adam say they have my back, and fighting off the tears, I am ready to turn tail and run. I hate disappointing my friends, and hopefully, soon-to-be business partners. Yes, Belladonna is my baby, but Adam, Forest, Trey, and Wes didn’t have to stay with me, nor did they have to join me when I’d told them two-and-a-half years ago what I wanted to do. They’d wanted in back then, but now I’m not holding up my end of the bargain.

I could let Trey and Wes make the orders. They’ve done that before. But that feels like I’m giving up completely, and I can’t do that.

Last night I'd decided I was actually going to listen to the guys and take the day off, but I want to talk to them about what to do with my time away from this place. I can’t even remember the last time I actually went out, not to mention, the last time I went on a date.

My cheeks puff up before I let out a long, audible huff of air.

Adam keeps up with my tension-laden pace as we walk through the drink station and into the kitchen. Trey and Wes are working on their opening duties as we prepare for the rest of the staff to arrive for their shifts.

"Hey, Calla!" someone calls out from the far side of the kitchen.

“Morning,” I respond out of habit.

Two tall, well-toned bodies stop in the middle of the kitchen and move in the opposite direction from the rest of the staff.

"Hey, cutie. What are you doing here?" Trey's deep, smooth voice filters over all the kitchen commotion.

"Checking in." The words come out quick and without thought.

"You could've just called." There is censure in his tone.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Can we talk in the office, please?" At my words, Wes side-steps toward me. “I did bring coffee and muffins.” I put the muffins down on a prep table on my way to our office.

Adam follows my lead and sets the container of coffee down next to the bag I’d carried. With his hand now free, he reaches in the bag and pulls out one of the strawberry muffins I picked up for him.

“Will one of you grab me a muffin?” Wes asks, as he walks toward the office.

“No problem. Calla, how many did you bring?” Adam inquires.

“There should be two for each of you.”

A ripping sound comes from behind me. Glancing back, I see the bag is torn open, and the muffins lay strewn on the table.

Trey and Adam follow me toward the far back corner of the kitchen next to the freezer. Wes already has the office door unlocked and propped open. He sits at his desk, waiting. As I enter, he stands.

It still amazes me that we are able to fit our four desks comfortably in this space. It’s a minimalist space without frills. The desks all have sleek glass tops and adjustable legs, so we can either stand or sit. We each have a set of small file cabinets underneath, and laptops are sitting out on the desk tops. Well, all but mine, as my laptop is in the bag I have slung over my shoulder.

“Hey, Wes? Coffee.” I hold out the cup holder that still has two large brown paper cups toward him.

“Thanks, Calla.” Wes takes the one closest to him.

As Trey moves to his desk, he grabs the last cup from the holder. I toss the cup-carrier in the trash before taking my seat. The room remains silent as I put my breakfast on my desk and remove my laptop from my bag. With everything set out on my desk, I take a sip of my chai and swivel to face my friends.

“What’s up babe?” Wes asks around his cup.

“I’m just going to make the orders for the weekend and Tuesday, then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Why didn’t you just do that from home?” Trey questions.

“I wasn’t sure what all we needed. I was so tired last night, I forgot to check before I left. And I know I could’ve called, but you guys have been covering my ass for months. Doing the orders is the one thing I haven’t screwed up since Torrance.” Embarrassment, anger, and pain combine, causing me to look away from my friends.

They’ve never judged me for what happened. Or for how I’ve coped, or not coped, with “the incident” no one speaks of. Though, all four of these guys, along with some of the other staff, did threaten to kick Torrance’s ass if he ever stepped foot in Belladonna again.

“Calla, you were engaged to that son-of-a-bitch. The fact that you didn’t kill him that night is a miracle, so we can deal with how you’ve coped. Do we want our fun-loving, kick-ass, lead chef back? I’m not going to lie. We definitely do.” Trey smirks and takes a sip of his coffee.

“Alright sweetie, what’s going on? Why are you feeling so blue today?” Adam asks.

“This morning I tried to make breakfast again. And failed. Again. And I keep having the damn nightmare every night. Me walking in on Torrance and his mistress….”

“Fuck! That son-of-a-bitch is still causing problems. You should’ve let me kick his ass,” Wes fumes.

“That wouldn’t have accomplished anything. I needed you in the kitchen and not charged with assault.” I tear apart my muffin and stuff a piece in my mouth.

“She has a point, Wes. We needed you here. I would have asked one of my brothers to do it, though. They fight for a living,” Trey reminds us, as he re-adjusts his stance to lean against his desk.

“I know, and I appreciate that. But that’s not why I wanted to talk to you guys this morning. I’d like your help in revamping this place. Torrance had too much influence when we created it, so I want to make it strictly ours now, without any trace of him in here, whatsoever. Can you start writing down ideas for what you want to see changed? New menu ideas, uniforms... whatever you can think of. And when Forest gets back, let’s be sure to tell him about this. I’m sure he’ll want to change up the desserts. Maybe we can get Ella to make some suggestions, too. ”

They make eye contact with each other, then with me.

“Deal!” they announce at the same time.