CHAPTER NINE
The Numb
…Several days later.
Cain sat at the piano with his head plopped down on it. Wearing only his underwear, he simply sat there, melting inside. It was late in the evening, but he was wide awake. It had been a long time since ‘the numb’ had hit him, but it was back… and with a vengeance.
How could he explain such a thing to the one he loved? He didn’t want to present himself as damaged goods—but he was. He was broken. He looked at his phone and realized that Tapestry was on her way over. She’d sent a text stating so. The funeral for Aunt Frieda had taken place that morning, and he was asked to not bring his girlfriend, for Tapestry’s own safety. He’d bucked against such a notion, but his mama asked him to please heed his father’s advice. Nothing good would come of him disregarding it. After all, this was Aunt Frieda’s going home service, not a time to start a revolution.
He’d grabbed his guitar and sang at that bitch’s funeral, hating her all the more but acting his ass off, pretending to be civil, for Mama’s sake. He did two gospel songs, back to back, putting his all into it, but inside, he was in another world. In his mind, he pretended Aunt Frieda had been a wonderful woman, full of love and life, who somehow deserved the angels to sing her praises.
When it was all said and done, he gave Mama and Daddy a kiss and hauled ass. He couldn’t take it anymore. A fog had come over him and he didn’t know the exact moment when the switch was flipped, but he didn’t want Mama to see it. She didn’t need to worry about him right now, too…
They say life is a gift, but I feel like goin’ into the Heavens and makin’ a return… I got my receipt; hope God don’t give me any grief about it…
He hadn’t heard anything back from the producer, he’d missed several days of work, his favorite guitar had a crack in it, and he’d lost his appetite. He sat there at his dead friend’s piano, a cigarette in hand, his wet, black hair draped down his back and life passing him by. He hadn’t smoked in years…
He took a long drawl of the thing, tapped it in an old cereal bowl, then repeated.
Life had him by the damn throat. He heard his doorbell ring and slowly got up to open the door. There Tapestry stood, dressed in black pants and a short sleeved white top. Her long hair was tucked behind her ears and appeared to have been flat-ironed. She had a paper bag in her hands with fresh produce spilling out of it.
Shaking her head in disapproval, she marched past him. Off to his kitchen she trooped as he closed and locked the door behind her.
“Look now, you’re going to have to pull yourself together, baby.” He could hear pots and pans being pulled out and slammed here and there. “And you look like you’ve lost a few pounds… I’m gonna fix you somethin’ to eat. And put that cigarette out!”
She turned on the faucet and began to wash a green bell pepper.
Stomping to the bathroom, he tossed the cigarette in the toilet and flushed. When he returned, the woman had a bunch of vegetables on a cutting board. Her phone was playing some jazzy tune he’d never heard and her ass was swaying back and forth to the music. He loved her… He’d missed her something awful.
“You’ve been workin’ hard,” he said, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, cradling his chin against her shoulder. She smelled so damn good. He sniffed her hair, too. It was fresh and clean.
“Yes, when it rains, it pours, baby. Like I told you, I had a patient die suddenly. He was actually out of hospice for over a month and then, just like that, things took a turn for the worse. I had to catch up on my paperwork, too. It’s all right though… I’m managing it.”
“Sorry about the funeral, baby.” He pulled away from her and plopped down at his kitchen table. “I tried to bring you but Mama didn’t want anybody messin’ with you. She knew she wouldn’t have the strength to break it up and I didn’t think that was fair to have to do anyway. She also knew that if somebody did somethin’, I’d cause a scene. We don’t fuck with that side of the family for a reason.”
“I told you that you ain’t have to apologize, Cain. It was for the best. Some things you just gotta let go. Now, do you want chicken in this soup I’m makin’ or just vegetables?”
“I ain’t hungry, baby.”
On second thought, yes I am… but not for no soup.
He looked at her with a raised brow, his eyes zoning in on her fat, gorgeous ass.
“That’s not what I asked you. You can’t afford to not eat right now. I’m gonna see your ribs in a minute.”
He rolled his eyes and sighed.
“Just vegetables, I guess…”
He sat there while she spoke of work and gossiped a little about one of her friends. He was only half listening, debating if this was the time to come clean about why there was shit lying all about his home, why his hair wasn’t brushed even though he knew she was coming, why he was sitting in his underwear, why he was smoking, why the suit he wore to the funeral lay in a heap on the floor, and why he avoided food like the plague. He fiddled with his hands, looking down at his callouses and torn up cuticles. And then, his soul stirred for her… he couldn’t put it off a second longer.
“I need you to give me some damn pussy tonight,” he blurted, then licked his lower lip as he looked her up and down.
Their eyes locked. She smirked and shook her head.
“Come on, now, Tapestry. I know you’re tired but we ain’t fucked in days. Bring that ass to Daddy.”
He got up from his seat and headed back to his bedroom, waiting for her. When she walked into the room, he grabbed her, not wasting any time. Crushing her lips in a kiss, he could faintly hear her phone still playing as he ran his hands up and down her body. In a matter of seconds, he had her down on the bed. He shoved her shirt up to her neck, plucked her large, soft breasts out of her satin bra cups, and sucked hard on them. She moaned and wrapped her thick, warm thighs around his body. He needed to feel her soft touch against his hard world in the worst way. He flipped her over on her stomach and yanked her pants and panties down, exposing a big, soft ass he simply couldn’t resist. She cooed when he sank his teeth into the left cheek, biting it, and slapped the other.
Soon, his underwear was off and cast aside, and she was screaming as he forced himself deep inside her. His chest planted firmly against her back, he wrapped his hand around her neck and thrust in and out of her warm pussy, loving the feeling of her snugness and heat.
“Shit!” she yelled as he went impossibly deeper.
He reached around her and grabbed one of her breasts, giving it a good squeeze, then sped his pace, his balls slapping into her fat pussy lips until he felt her quake beneath him, coating his dick with her juices as she came.
“Your tight, wet pussy feels so fuckin’ good, baby!”
He jeered back and thrust hard within her with all of his might, drawing more screams from her. He wanted to feel her, every part of her. Something within her would bring him out of this funk, make him feel alive.
The louder she screamed, the harder it was for him to keep his cool and before long, he filled her pussy with his load, jerking hard within her. He lay on top of her for a while, panting, covered in sweat, then he slid out of her, turned her over on her back, and they held on to one another. Tears streamed his face, but he didn’t realize it until she looked up at him with pity in her eyes. She wiped them away with a soft trace of her hand.
He sucked on his fingers and rubbed the saliva up and down his cock. Grabbing his dick, he slowly guided the head inside her snug ass. She cried out, a look of both pain and pleasure dancing in her eyes.
“Mmm, you’re doin’ good, baby… so good.” He nestled his head against her shoulder, working himself half way inside of her tight confines. With slow, shallow thrusts, he fucked her.
Their breaths came heavy, labored. Her soft breasts felt so good against his chest and she embraced him tightly, kissing him all over. After a short while, he came quietly, his cum filling her cavity. He rested on top of her, loving her with everything he had. After all, she’d given him all that she had. He could take no more, even if he wished to.
“Tapestry… I never wanted to tell you this…” She wiped another tear from his eye. He hated himself so much right then, but it was wrong to not disclose the truth, no matter how badly it made him appear. “I feel ashamed.”
“Ashamed of what, baby?” she asked, true concern in her eyes.
“I’m… I’m not well.” She cocked her head to the side, confusion all over her face.
“I take medication for chronic depression… I… I don’t talk about it with people, with nobody. I’ve battled depression on and off for most of my adult life.” He swallowed as her eyes grew large. His greatest fears were materializing…
She thinks I’m a fuckin’ freak…
See, I knew it was a mistake to tell her this shit!
Nurse or not, who she treats and what she wants in her personal life are two different things.
Retreating into his shell, he pulled out of her and quickly got up from the bed. All he wanted to do at that moment was get dressed and be alone. It was more than evident she wanted no part of this.
“Where are you going?” she called out as she sat up.
“I don’t know!” He threw up his hands.
“You can’t go nowhere. You live here! Cain, get back in the bed and let’s talk like adults!”
He looked at her for a spell, then slid back on the bed. No use in running away… she was right. The cat was out of the bag.
“Do you really think I’m surprised?!” Now he was the one to be confused.
“You knew? How?”
“Cain, I’m nosey as hell. I play it off well though.” She chuckled. “I looked in your medicine cabinet a long time ago, and I saw the pills. I was actually lookin’ for HIV medication ’cause I’ve run into that situation, too. I don’t mess around when it comes to that sort of thing. People tell you what they want to tell you, but Mama ain’t raise no fool. Anyway—”
“I don’t have HIV. I don’t have anything but this. I showed you my tests. I—”
“Cain, Cain, Cain…” She smiled and shook her head. “I know that. We’ve already discussed it. All I’m saying is that I already knew you battled depression. Plus, you’ve got the classic symptoms. I didn’t realize it right away, but I did soon enough. You’ve got manic hyper activity, you have periods of workaholic episodes, and then before you know it, you are down and drained. You withdraw from the world when you’re overwhelmed, too. You become despondent when someone you love is hurting. You take on their pain… you’re a classic case, honey.”
She ran her hand along his face. He grabbed her palm and kissed it.
“I’m a Cancer. I used to use that as an excuse… you know, the withdrawing from the world thing. The night I met you was my birthday.” She tilted her head just so and smiled at him.
“You didn’t even say anything, Cain. You even sang happy birthday to that woman and didn’t mention your own at all. I woulda sung to you.”
“I know, but to me it wasn’t about me announcing it, just performing and bein’ around good people was enough. I was just enjoyin’ myself… just like I’m enjoying you right now. You have no idea how relieved I am!” She reached over and hugged him—hugged him hard. “Tapestry, I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. You came into my life at just the right time. See, my mother is goin’ through changes right now. My father’s health ain’t a hundred percent. She’s worried about my sister and of course her sister’s death has really gotten her down. There’s some family dynamics that are a little hard to explain and may not be even worth gettin’ into right now. I am the one that everyone calls for comfort, to lean on… but I just don’t have it in me today. And I didn’t have it yesterday, or the day before, either. I’m spent up like a check on Friday night.”
“Let me ask you something. Have you been tested for bipolar and anxiety disorders too, Cain?”
“Yeah, don’t have either of those. I’ve seen several doctors. I haven’t had an episode, or as I say, ‘the numb’, in years. I felt like if nothin’ was happening, then I could just ignore it. But now, things are happening again… I’m fuckin’ falling apart, so please don’t add anything else to my list of possibilities. Isn’t the chronic depression enough?” He chuckled sadly.
“It is, just wanted to make sure all bases were covered.”
He nodded in understanding. The woman sat back and took his hand. His sights drifted down to her exposed breasts and he immediately got hard. For the first time in his damn life, he realized he was with someone he may just be able to spend his life with. Tapestry understood him. She got him. He leaned over and kissed her, wrapping his hand around the back of her head. Drifting lower, he took her taut, dark nipple into his mouth and lavished it with soft sucks and kisses. It didn’t take long for him to be in need of her once again. She sighed as he laid her on her side and entered her once more, pushing within her velvety abyss, soft and slow.
“Tapestry, I love you so much, baby!”
“And I love your crazy ass, too. You are a damn nut, but that’s okay. You’re too talented and sexy for me to pass up.”
He burst out laughing so hard, he had to pause from their lovemaking. She laughed as well, and he couldn’t resist dropping a kiss on her cheek. As he made love to her, a strong sense of personal ownership overcame him. He didn’t like feeling this way, but he simply couldn’t help it.
She’s mine. All. Fucking. Mine.
“You belong to me.”
“What? Cain, don’t try to hustle and—”
“Be quiet. My name is written all over this fuckin’ pussy so just accept it. You won’t be havin’ another man. You’re with me now, so it’s settled. What time do you have to go back to work, baby?”
“You’re a trip, boy. In a couple hours…”
He began to thrust faster within her, chasing his climax, needing it more than ever.
“That’s just enough time to eat then fuck you slow ’nd hard up against the wall… Oh, and come back over after your shift. Bring an overnight bag. I’mma need some more of this. Makin’ love to you is the best medicine of all…”