Chapter Eleven

Torch

I knew if I gave Kyla some time to cool off, we could talk reasonably about…hell—everything. She loved me. At least she said she did, but how could she? We were complete opposites. She was light and happiness and goodness, and I was darkness. I operated in the murky world between legal and illegal, and that often meant people around me got hurt. How could a college girl willingly give herself over to a life like that?

I didn’t know why I couldn’t believe she loved me. It wasn’t like I was some insecure asshole who thought I was unworthy of love or any shit like that. But how could she? More importantly, would she feel the same way six months from now? Six years from now? I played the field, I admitted it. I loved beautiful women and loved to fuck, but if I committed myself to a woman it’d be forever.

But she deserved more than frozen shock. Fear. I didn’t know what I’d say to her, but an hour had gone by and I hoped she felt calm enough to listen to me now. I tapped on the door and went inside. Empty. Her things were gone and nothing but an empty bed remained.

“Excuse me, sir?”

I turned around to find a middle-aged nurse frowning at me. “Where did she go?”

“Checked out against medical advice, silly child,” she chided with a motherly tsk and left me alone again.

She’d checked out early. To avoid me? Probably. “Fuck!”

“I didn’t forget you, little lady. I have your prenatal…you’re not…my patient.”

The embroidered lab coat read Dr. White, and I crossed my arms. “Who did you think I was?”

“You know I can’t tell you that. It’s against the law.”

I didn’t need him to tell me, and we both knew it. “Well, the nurse said she checked out against medical advice.” And now I knew why. Pregnant. I was going to be a father, and I’d just screwed up.

Big time.

I caught a ride back to my place with Mick who had a million questions, and I didn’t have any answered. Not yet. “So what happened with Kyla?”

I groaned and stomped into the kitchen, reaching into the pantry for the Jack that would dull the edges of my anger. Blur my mind until I could forget the look on Kyla’s face after she said she loved me. “She’s gone,” I bit out after taking a shot. “Back to Daddy.”

Mick whistled and shook his head. “That’s tough. I thought things were going well.”

Me too. “She said she loves me.” The more I said it, the more I thought about what it meant to have a woman like Kyla loving me and the more I realize how much I fucked up.

“You don’t believe her,” he asked and pulled the bottle from my grip.

“I think she believes it, but I just don’t see how it would work.” And now she’s pregnant. I know I have to find a way to make it work.

“You make it work, dammit. You think I didn’t think the same thing about Talon? She’s a good, strong woman, but for some damn reason she chose me to love. That makes me the luckiest son of a bitch alive so maybe,” he said, pouring two large shots and shoving one my way. “Maybe you shouldn’t be talking a woman out of loving you.”

“She just finished college, Mick. She lost her job and apartment in LA because of this shit with Stash.” And I knew once shit settled down again she’d start looking for work and maybe end up in New York or Chicago or some place far away.

“Or maybe she’ll stay closer to Brently if she has a reason. I’m guessing her quick departure means you didn’t say it back?” I nodded and poured another shot. What the fuck could I say? “I told her she didn’t have to say it and then I said fuck all. Fuck all, Mick.”

“So what the fuck are you gonna do about it?”

“I don’t fucking know, Mick. I went back to apologize, to explain and she was gone. She just left.”

“Does this mean you love her too?”

“I don’t know. I care about her, I want her around all the fucking time. But what I feel for her is about a thousand times more intense than what I felt for Octavia.” I poured two more shots, took them both, and poured two more. “Plus, I found out something by accident when her doctor came in, expecting to see her.”

Mick blinked. He waited for me to speak with the patience of a goddamn monk. “Don’t keep me in fucking suspense here, man.”

“She’s pregnant. I don’t know how far along or anything because she was gone. Hell, I didn’t even hear it from her.”

“Well you didn’t really give her a chance, did you?”

“Hell no, I didn’t.” But I knew why she’d started with I love you. Kyla wasn’t sure of my emotions, and she needed to know how I felt about her before tying such a big string to our relationship. I got it now, and I just hoped it wasn’t too late.

***

“Ethan. What can I do for you, Sheriff?” It had been a few days since the shit went down on the ramp, and I knew Ethan would stop by eventually. That day had finally come.

“Mind if I come in?” He didn’t wait for an answer, just brushed past me and took a seat in the living room. On the same sofa I’d fucked Kyla a hundred times. Had her pretty mouth wrapped around my cock. Fucking cuddled with her. “How you holdin’ up?”

“I’ve been better, Ethan, much fucking better than this.”

He laughed. “Good.”

Ah, now it all became clear. “So you’re here to bust my balls?”

“Some.” He shook his head, mouth kicked up in a lopsided grin. “I also came to tell you the good news. Stash was transported this morning to San Francisco County Jail to be arraigned for the murder of Chase Westphal plus about a dozen other charges related to the hit on Kyla.”

Fuck, my whole body exhaled with relief. “Damn. I didn’t realize just how fucking tense I’d been.” A nervous laugh escaped, and I ran my fingers down my beard still wet from my shower.

“That’s what happens when someone you love is in danger. Their worry becomes your worry. Their victory becomes yours as well.”

Love. There it was again, that word. Like a fucking sign from the heavens above. “Is that what it is? Because it feels like indigestion.” I waited, prepared for the jab to the nose I deserved, but it didn’t come.

Instead, Ethan fucking laughed. Shoulders shaking and face turning red with his amusement. “That’s exactly what it feels like. I swear when I met Kyla’s mother I thought I was dying. Wasn’t until she told me it was love that I felt better.”

“She told you?”

“Hell yes. One night we were lying in bed and my mind was racing like crazy, wondering how to keep the beautiful woman in my arms forever. Then my damn heart started going crazy, so I woke her up and told her to take me to the hospital.”

I couldn’t stop laughing. My eyes watered and my fucking shoulder hurt from shaking. “What did she say?”

“Stop being an idiot. You’re not dying, you just realized you’re in love with me. I was so damned shocked I stared at her in disbelief. Then she said, ‘it’s a good thing I love you too because you’re a big dummy’.”

“She didn’t.”

“She did, and I was glad for it. Women are better at this shit than we are, son. We’re better off just letting them guide us in matters of love because if left to us, we’d fuck it all up.”

I heard him loud and clear. “What do you know?”

“Not a damn thing other than you and Kyla were getting close and now she’s sad all the time, trying to cry so quietly so I don’t hear her. But I do. And judging by the looks of this place, you ain’t doin’ much better.”

“I miss her, Ethan.”

“Then get up off your ass and go get her. The threat is gone, and you have no more excuses. If you’re going after her, do it soon.”

“You’re not upset.” It wasn’t a question because clearly he expected me to go after her. Claim her or some shit, and then what, I had no fucking idea.

“She’s in love with you and if you love her back—which I suspect you do—I can’t ask for more, can I?” He stood, hands on his hips and looked at me like he was my father. “You kept her safe, Colt. She killed a man to save you. As long as you don’t hold her back, I have no problem with her choosing you.”

“I wouldn’t do that to, Ky. Not ever.”

Ethan smiled. “I know. See you soon, Colt.”

Sitting there inside my big empty house, I knew what I had to do. To make it all happen, I needed to put down the Jack Daniels and get my ass in gear.