Chapter Twenty One

Ella

 

After the shower, I fell back asleep in Beckett’s arms. I felt incredible as I closed my eyes, but when I woke up alone again my heart dropped. He kept doing that. I could tell he wasn’t a man who was used to getting a full nights sleep, and living a double life probably didn’t help either. I got dressed and headed for the kitchen where I found Beckett making coffee.

“I’d love a cup,” I told him. He turned and smiled at me.

“Sorry for sneaking out of bed again,” his smile lit up his face. Last night he seemed so wounded and tortured, this morning he was light and carefree. The two sides of Beckett Carter. “You look so calm when you’re sleeping,” he added. “I never want to wake you. I wish I could sleep like you do.”

“How long have you had the nightmares?” I was hesitant to ask the question, not wanting to ruin the cheerful mood, but I was so curious about everything when it came to Beckett.

“Ever since my parents died,” he said, his smile fading from his face. “My grandmother had me see a Psychiatrist, but it didn’t help. I took sleeping pills for a while, but decided against it a few years ago. I don’t want to forget them, even if my memories aren’t always good ones.”

“That’s how I feel about Dana,” I admitted as I clutched the coffee he had poured me. It was warm and soothing against the palms of my hands. “I try to focus on the good memories. Of the nights we played cards, or we would goof around with makeup. She was my best friend. But ever since she disappeared, I can’t help but think about all of the horrible things that could have happened to her. That’s why I focus on crime reporting, I want to uncover something that might lead me to her. Either alive, or…”

I stared into the dark coffee, letting my sentence hang in the air. I stirred in milk and sugar, then took a sip.

“What if I helped you?” Beckett offered. My head popped up and I stared at him, confused. “I have access to the best private detectives, databases, not to mention my own methods of getting information. I could help you find out what happened to your sister, if you want.”

“I already used a private detective.”

Beckett shook his head. “Whoever he was, he’s not as good as the people I can hire.”

I bit my lip, tempted but this was my own private problem, not his.

“I can’t ask you to do that Beckett.”

“I want to,” he assured me. He took a pan out and put it on the stove. “How do you like your eggs?” He switched the subject, giving me no choice but to follow him.

“Over easy,” I smiled. I watched him as he got to work making me breakfast, relaxing in the early afternoon sunlight that was beaming in through the large windows. Our weekend was coming to an end, and despite all my worries that Beckett would never be able to give me what I wanted, it turned out he was everything I needed.

***

 

After a long goodbye, Beckett holding me back and kissing me deeply, I finally pulled myself into the elevator and out of his penthouse. I had some research to do, not to mention laundry and a few chores. My place was a fraction the size of Beckett’s but I didn’t have the luxury of a cleaning lady. I had to scrub my counters and shower tiles all by myself.

I had just brought a load back from the laundromat and was putting my clothes away when my phone rang. I glanced at the display and saw that it was Seth. I cradled the phone against my ear as I slid a dress onto a hanger.

“Hey Seth, what’s up?”

“Hey Ella. Look, I feel bad about how I acted last time we talked. I was wondering if you’d like to grab a drink and a burger, my treat?”

I looked around my apartment. “Gee Seth, I’d love to, but I’m in the middle of cleaning up…” I thought back on all the months between us, of the feelings he developed for me that I couldn’t reciprocate. He was trying to salvage our friendship, and I needed to meet him halfway. “You know what? Chores can wait. Where should I meet you?”

“Really? Awesome, thanks Ella.” I could practically hear the smile in his voice. “Meet me at Burger Shack?”

“I can be there in a half hour.”

“See you soon Ella.”

I hung up then left the rest of my clothes in a pile on my bed, fishing out a sundress and slipping out of my shorts and t-shirt. I took my hair out of the ponytail, quickly touched up my makeup then grabbed my bag and went outside to catch transit to the restaurant.

When I arrived Seth was already seated in a booth waiting for me. He was dressed in a grey t-shirt that showed off his toned arms, his hair messy and boyish against his forehead. There was no denying he was an attractive man, but he did nothing for me. Or at least, not the things that seeing Beckett did to me. Seth noticed me walk in and smiled, I headed over and sat across from him. There was an awkward pause where neither of us said anything. I never meant to involve Seth in a love triangle, but then again, I never expected to be involved with Beckett Carter. Not only one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the city, but a man harbouring a dangerous secret.

“It’s good to see you Ella,” Seth said finally. “What have you been up to this weekend?”

I bit my lip and glanced down at the table. He sighed and nodded.

“You were with him, the guy you can’t tell me about. It’s okay, you can say it. If we’re going to stay friends, I need to make my peace with that.”

Mercifully a waitress came by and broke the tension. Seth gestured for me to order.

“I’d like the cheeseburger with fries and a strawberry milkshake,” I told her.

“Bacon cheeseburger for me, and a bottle of Corona,” Seth added.

She walked away, leaving us sitting across from each other again. It felt strained. He was the same Seth I had come to know, but I was the one who had changed. Being with Beckett had changed something in me, what happened in the warehouse had stripped away a layer of the woman I used to be. Now I better understood what the criminal world really was, the type of men who existed and didn’t hesitate to live by their own rules. To rape and ruin, to maim and kill. And it would never stop, not until people strong enough exposed them. When you turn on the bright lights, cockroaches scurry for cover.

“I never meant to hurt you Seth. I hope you know that.”

“I know,” he nodded. “I’m not so naive to think I would be the only man interested in you. I had hoped you felt the same way, but if you don’t, it’s not something I was going to force.”

I reached across the table and touched his arm.

“I do care about you, honestly. I just… needed something different.”

“You really can’t tell me anything about this guy?”

I shook my head. “I’d love to, honestly, I have no one to talk to about this. But I made a promise.” It was more than a promise, I reminded myself. My signature was scrawled onto paperwork too.

“You’re not involved in anything dangerous are you Ella?”

He was watching me closely and it took everything in me to keep my face emotionless and still. “No,” I lied. “I’m okay, I promise. Look, let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay,” Seth agreed. “Now that you’re back at the paper what are you focusing on?”

I laughed. “Unless crime in Vegas disappeared while I was away, I’m sure I’ll have a lot to work on. I started outlining a few articles earlier today, and there’s an event tomorrow that Harry sent me an email about. Some glitzy gala for the LVPD.”

“Sounds like something for the society pages, not our crime reporter. No offense.”

“None taken,” I shrugged. “That’s what I told Harry, but apparently they requested to have me attend personally. Must be the coverage I’ve given to LVPD donations lately. So I need to figure out what to wear. It’s in a ballroom at a mansion, and it’s supposed to be pretty formal.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something, you could wear a sack and still be the most beautiful woman in the room.” I looked away, my cheeks flushing at the compliment and Seth sighed. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t say things like that anymore.”

“It’s okay, really. It may feel a bit weird now but we were friends before and we’ll stay friends. I care about you too much to lose you from my life.”

“I feel the same way Ella.”

The waitress dropped off our food and drinks, then we dug in. The burger was perfect, with a fluffy bun and juicy meat. After running around all day I was starving, and this was really hitting the spot. It was nice being out with Seth, talking about work, something so normal after a weekend that was anything but normal. I wished I could tell Seth everything, but I knew that Beckett’s secret was now mine to keep too. Like Beckett, my life was starting to take on two parts. On one side there were moments like today, catching up with a friend and chatting about life. Then there was the other side, filled with an intensity that made my legs shake and my heart beat quicker. A world where Beckett pulled me in, held me there, and I was his.