I am grateful for Piper’s demand that all wedding festivities move along at a quick pace. I will be singing for the first dance in about fifteen minutes. She wanted to do speeches and the dance before dinner was served because once those are out of the way it’s just partying and cake. Everyone in this tent will stop what they’re doing for cake. But, I’m mostly grateful because I think if I ate any more than the snacks Laurel gave us earlier, I’d be tossing my cookies right now.
Stress and nerve-induced anxiety are part of my life. I’ve worked hard these last few months to find coping tools to deal with it. I’ve been doing okay, but today I’m beyond stressed. It’s more than the fact that almost every person in this room is either related to me or has known me most of my life. I suppose this is what happens when your brother is the groom; every aunt, uncle, cousin, and distant relative shows up in one room, or tent in this case.
My mom is thrilled to have most of our family together and for that reason I’m happy for her. But the cousin I haven’t seen since our family reunion fifteen years ago is side-eyeing me like I killed her puppy. I didn’t. She needs to get over it.
“Babe,” Jameson whispers in my ear. His breath sends shivers down my spine, and I send up a little prayer that this feeling never goes away. I hope and pray his voice and the feeling of his breath on my skin never stop sending bursts of lust and desire through my body. As much as I’m enjoying the pooling of lust in my core, I’m looking forward to this night ending. A few days ago, while searching his desk for paper, I found the printout from the hotel he booked in Nashville. My guy is planning a getaway for us, and it includes my bucket list item number five—the Country Music Hall of Fame. I’m so excited. At least, I hope it’s the Hall of Fame. What if he doesn’t know that’s on my bucket list? I’ll be happy with whatever he plans, but hopefully he listens when I ramble about my bucket list items.
Oh, he’s still lingering at my ear. That’s my sweet spot. Damn, that tickles.
“Hmm,” I sigh as I lean into his side.
“Why is that woman giving you dirty looks?”
I look to where he’s motioning and confirm my suspicion as to who might be glaring at me. “That’s my cousin, Molly. She’s pissed because I killed Sparky,” I offer non-committedly while taking a drink of my water.
“Sparky? Who or what is Sparky?” Jameson asks thoroughly confused.
“Her fish. She’s ridiculous.” I look to where Molly is staring and offer her an over-exaggerated wave and smile before turning to Jameson. “When we were kids, she had this damn gold fish she took everywhere. I mean everywhere. Like it was her damn toy. Anyway, we had a family reunion and had to share a room. I swear that fish was starving and one day I’d had enough. So, I may have dumped the container of food in his bowl.” Jameson starts laughing harder than necessary. “Hey, he was starving to death. Molly was a horrible fish mom. I’m sorry Sparky overate, but I was worried about him.”
Jameson pulls me toward him and places a kiss to my temple, still laughing. I nestle in and let him hold me for a few minutes before Laurel motions to us that it’s time for our speeches. Great. I have to do that, too. I pull back from Jameson to allow him space to stand and take the offered microphone. He clears his throat before speaking.
“Good evening everyone. I’m going to keep this short because I know there are three things in this world that scare me. One is my beautiful girlfriend, Ashton Sullivan, whom most of you know. When she’s pissed off, boy howdy, it’s enough to send a man running. Trust me I know.” He turns and winks at me and I fake scowl. It’s true. I am scary. “The second, that’s Laurel. Laurel is the beautiful woman in black who has been keeping this day running. She’s also a very focused task master and if I run over in my speech, she may run me over. And finally, the third person I’m afraid of is our blushing bride, Piper Lawren—Sullivan. Wow, that sure does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Jameson looks over at Piper, who is beaming. Yep, Sullivan is a perfect fit for her.
“Anyway, as most of you know, I’ve been best friends with Ben since we were little. He’s like a brother to me, and his friendship has been a blessing. And a curse. It’s hard being best friends with the best guy in town, but that’s who he is. Then, there’s Piper. Sweet, smart, and kind Piper. And patient. I mean, we all know how patient she’s been. Twenty years patient.” The crowd laughs and Piper nods her approval as Ben leans in and kisses her temple, pulling her closer to his side.
“Last year Ben called me and told me he was moving home. I was excited to have my best friend come home. We were going to camp, fish, hell maybe even get some hunting in. But then I took him to Country Road, and he spotted a cute little redhead and that plan went to shi . . . we’re all friends here, Hope, earmuffs,” he instructs, looking to his niece who covers her ears. “Shit. It all went to shit the minute he spotted Piper across the bar. Best loss of my plans ever. If ever there were two people who belonged together, it’s Ben and Piper. So, raise your glass with me. To Ben and Piper, may your days be joyful and your nights playful. Cheers!”
The entire room clinks glasses and offers a cheers and Jameson looks down at me before placing his champagne glass on the table and offering me his hand to stand. I take his offered hand and push my chair back a little before standing. Taking the microphone from Jameson, I turn to the crowd and smile.
“Well, that’s a tough act to follow. I mean, there was swearing and everything. Good job, babe. This is my family, way to pull out all the stops,” I joke. My comments are greeted with laughs, my dad’s the loudest. I see he’s also been hitting the whiskey.
“I’m going to keep this short too. Not because I’m scared of anyone, y’all know I can take them both.” Nods from everyone around me fill me with a little pride and my smile widens before I continue. “Piper, when you used to crush on my brother as a kid, I thought you were nuts. He was so annoying, well, he still is, but whatever, he’s your problem now.” The crowd laughs, causing me to pause. My voice changes as I get a little more serious. “Then something changed. You changed. I didn’t see it at first and when I realized the reason for your change was my brother, I was taken aback. Most of you know they kept their relationship from me for months, but looking back I see it all. You two, you’re like a perfect puzzle. Apart you’re just pieces waiting to find their counterpart. But, together you make a beautiful picture. I’m so glad my idiot brother finally gave me the only gift I’ve ever wanted, making you my sister.”
Piper’s eyes glisten as she mouths “I love you” before I continue, “Piper, thank you for loving my brother. For seeing the wonderful man he is and showing him love in its truest form.” I pause as the threat of tears is imminent. “The two of you are what fairy tales are made of, and I wish you countless years of happiness. Cheers.”
Piper takes a sip of her champagne before standing and walking around the guys to hug me. She’s sniffling, and that’s my undoing. I begin crying. I’ve done so well. It’s been at least six hours since I’ve cried last. I thought it was behind me. I know it’s not. I know it’s only the beginning. These overwhelming emotions are exhausting.
“Thank you, Ash.”
“Don’t thank me yet. I still have to get through this song. I love you, Pipe. Never doubt that. Sisters for life, now.” I pull back and smile at her. She’s laughing, and I join her for a few seconds before nudging her back toward her seat.
Instead of handing the microphone back to the DJ, I turn it off and set it on the table as I take my seat. I drink more of my water and sit back for a minute contemplating whether a bathroom stop is necessary before the first dance song. If I go this will mark the tenth time today and the fourth time in this dress. A dress, I may add, that isn’t the easiest for so many potty breaks. I shrug off the idea and look up to find Laurel with the DJ. I know she’s ensuring he has the music cued for the dance. Once they finish speaking she motions for me to join them. The DJ is up on a bit of a mini stage. There isn’t much room but plenty for me to stand up higher than the floor and out of the way.
I kiss Jameson on the lips and linger for the briefest moment before pulling away. His eyes are open, watching me. His eyebrows shoot up like he’s realized something, but I see Laurel walking towards us. He opens his mouth to say something, but Laurel speaks before he has a chance.
“Ashton, are you ready?” Laurel asks. I nod in response but look back at Jameson. He looks pale.
“Are you okay? You don’t look good. Maybe lay off the whiskey until after dinner.” He’s not speaking but his mouth is opening and closing as if he is. “Hey,” I say more urgently, “What’s wrong?”
“You didn’t drink your shots.”
“No, I didn’t. It’s no biggie. I need to go sing. Please stand over there.” I point to the end of the long table we’re sitting at. “I need to be able to look at you. I’m calm on the outside, but it’s like a damn hurricane of emotions inside.”
“You’re not drinking your champagne.”
“What is wrong with you? Babe, please stay with me for five minutes. Once the song is done, we’ll eat and you’ll feel better. I promise,” I say, placing a chaste kiss on his lips before grabbing the microphone and heading to the spot next to the DJ designated for me.
“Ladies and gentlemen. While the servers are bringing around your salads, we invite you to help us welcome Mr. and Mrs. Bentley Sullivan to the dance floor for their first dance. Tonight, the maid of honor, Ashton Sullivan, will be singing.”
A round of applause welcomes Ben and Piper to the dance floor. Ben dramatically spins Piper as the opening chords of “When You Say Nothing At All” begin. I take a deep breath and seek out Jameson. I need him to ground me. I never realized how much until now. There’s so much change going on in all our lives, and I think it’s hitting me like a ton of bricks. This feels like more than nerves from singing in front of everyone.
My voice is quiet as I begin singing. Thankfully, that isn’t far off from the Alison Krauss version of the song which is Piper’s favorite. I look to Ben and Piper as they embrace one another, whispering and smiling. Piper has one hand on Ben’s shoulder, pulling him into her as her other hand is linked with Ben’s behind her back. Dancing like this, they look like one person, perfectly molded together. My thoughts go to Jameson as I seek him out.
He’s standing where I asked him to, but the look on his face is perplexing. I come to a pause in the lyrics and look at him quizzically. He looks from my face to my stomach, and I instinctively drop my hand protectively to my lower abdomen.
He knows.
How? Nobody does. I didn’t tell Piper or Minnie. I almost called my mom, but she’s not who I should tell first. I was scared. I am scared. This isn’t the plan. We haven’t been together even a year. Not that it should matter, he’s it for me. He always has been. My life changed for the better the day I fell in love with Jameson Strauss. I could have done without the years of not having that love in my life, but I have it now. I never doubt his feelings for me, never. His love is honest and true. It is obvious, and it is pure. My eyes fill with tears as he looks again from my face to where my hand rests and then back up. I smile as the first tear escapes and nod.
I watch as his expression morphs from bewilderment to pure joy. He lets out a shout that matches his expression and startles most everyone as he runs to me. Thankfully, the song is almost over and I’m able to hand the microphone to the DJ and allow the instrumental ending to close out the dance. Jameson scoops me up in his arms and spins me around.
“Oh shit, I shouldn’t do that.” I laugh as I grab his head with my hands and pull him to me for a kiss. I love this man, every day and all day. He is it for me and now for our baby. That’s right, I’m pregnant. Unplanned, unwed, and not a care in the world.
After a few minutes of him holding me in the air and kissing me, he breaks free and sets me down. Taking my hand in his, he pulls me outside and away from the crowd. No words are spoken as he takes me down to the ceremony site. He motions for me to sit down in the one of the chairs and I do. And I wait while he stands there staring off toward the creek.
Jameson’s initial reaction made me believe he’s as excited for this baby as I am. Standing before me, his brow is furrowed, his lips are pinched into a hard line, and his hands are running through his hair. Maybe he’s not as excited as I thought he was.