I wish she had allowed me to be there for her in some way. But I guess that was one of the reasons why she made my heart go wild, because despite everything she’d been through she was still trying to be strong.

Why couldn’t she see how that made her even more desirable? She walked the earth like she didn’t know what she was worth. As though her worth was merely with some asshole she left behind. But I was nothing if not determined. I would show her, what she should mean to someone. How much more she deserved.

I was still trying to figure out how to do that without looking like an idiot, when I entered the loft and noticed there was someone already there. I could see them hovering by the refrigerator.

“Don’t you have anything good in here?” she said, without turning toward me. She was draped in a towel that stopped at her mid-back, I could see her shoulder blades. “It’s all fruit and raw vegetables.”

“Well, I didn’t know I was having company,” I said, walking over to her. “Or I would have stocked up on trans-fat.”

Kira closed the fridge door and turned toward me, popped the lid off a soda can. “Why are you all wet?”

It made me feel a little self-conscious. “Because I was walking in the rain.”

“You were walking in the rain?” she said. “Is Stanton sick?”

I couldn’t believe she was commandeering my house and my evening. “And what the hell are you doing living here?” Kira said, gesturing to the place. “What kind of boring millionaire lives in a loft?”

“I do,” I said, taking off my suit jacket and placing it on the back of a bar stool. I loosened my tie and walked up to her, and she let me. “Do you want the towel on or off?” she asked me in a low voice.

“On please.”

“On it is… for now. But I can’t promise you anything until we know how this evening progresses.”

I went to the liquor cabinet and poured us both a glass of my favorite whiskey. She took out some Chinese takeout from the fridge and started eating it on the breakfast bar.

She washed it down with the soda. “Cooper, is it okay if I stay with you for a few days?”

“What’s wrong with your apartment?” I took a seat on one of the breakfast stools and sat next to her.

“Can’t you just let me stay here without the interrogation?”

She was hiding something, I could tell. I didn’t appreciate when people kept things from me. But I’d known Kira for years. Refusing her in her time of need didn’t seem appropriate.

“Who let you in?” I was curious.

Kira continued consuming the food held up her free hand. They were the only other set of keys to my place. “Kira, when did you…”

“What difference does it make?” she set them down on the counter.

“You can stay,” I said. “But at some point, I’m going to have to know what the hell is going on with you. You’ve been gone for almost a month! I was worried.”

“If I was in trouble I’d tell you, Cooper.”

“Yeah, but you could have picked up the phone!”

I was angrier than I thought I would be.

“Yeah well you could have come to the apartment, Coop!”

At first, I thought it was a little sarcasm but then it occurred to me that she was angered.

“I called you and you didn’t answer so I thought maybe you didn’t want to see me.”

She dropped the fork and drank her whiskey.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Water under the bridge.”

“Kira, what’s going on with you? You can talk to me!”

She became resistant again. “I’ll tell you. Just need some time.”

I guess everyone deserved a little space sometimes. I wasn’t going to judge her for it.

Kira and I had history. Some good, some bad but I guess that’s what it meant to have someone like her as a friend. 

“So, how’ve you been, Coop? Fucked any blondes lately?” I knew she was referring to my newest scandal with an underwear model.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Coop, don’t be that way! Are you or are you not sleeping with the waste of space, airhead bimbo of the century?”

“I’m offended that you’d even ask me that!”

“Oh, my word,” she said. “She totally let you fuck her! That mean bitch. Isn’t she supposed to be going out with some Brit?”

“He’s Australian, Kira. And she claimed they were on a break.”

“I bet they were on a break,” Kira said. “On a break from boring sex with each other and now that they’ve had awesome fucks for the time being, they can both go back to being a healthy Hollywood couple! How touching! I think I’m going to cry, where do you keep the Kleenex?”

“Okay, enough. She wasn’t that bad!”

“No, she was worse! I might actually be making her sound better than she is!”

I couldn’t stop laughing. “You’re such a bitch, Kira.”

“Where’s the insult? I don’t see it.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kira or I’ll make you.”

“So, tell me what depraved thing does Miss underwear model like?”

“You know I don’t lick and tell.”

“That is such an obvious lie! That little club of yours, isn’t that basically what you do? Meet with other rich freaks and compare notes.”

I stood up to avoid the topic and get myself another drink.

“So, where’s the soccer guy these days?” I knew if I wanted to talk about something else, I needed a topic Kira would be more interested in than my secret sex life with underwear models.

“We broke up.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The two of them had been so happy together. “I thought you guys were getting engaged,” I said, walking back to the counter.

“We live in a society where we’ve all been sold a standard version of happiness,” she said. “We’re told to be selfish and put our needs first. Before if your wife was sick, you’d spend every waking moment trying to make the most of your life together. Now, you don’t want to get weighed down with all that. Now, when the older model gets old instead of being faithful and trying to fix it, we opt for an upgrade. Our relationships are a result of our slavery to consumerism but we don’t see it because the packaging is just so attractive. Guy giving you trouble? You don’t have to deal with that just go buy yourself some shoes!” she paused. “And don’t get me wrong, I’m the same! I may be worse than the others. I treated Sean like he was something of an upgrade to my life than a part of it. So, he treated me the same way. Eventually, it was just another acquisition than real love. Neither of us was willing to make the effort it takes to make it special. To make it real. In the end, we both sort of just gave up. It would be wrong to say it was entirely his fault.”

It took me a while to come to terms with what she was saying. “Kira?”

“Hmm.”

I pushed myself off the stool and held out my hand. Come here.”

I hugged her. She was quiet and that was never a good thing. I had to think of something better to take her mind off Sean.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for what I was about to say next. “Reverse cowgirl.”

Kira lifted her head off my chest and stared blankly at me. “What?”

“That’s what the underwear model let me do. And she was into spanking. Like, a lot.”

“You’re such a freak.”

“I know.”

She started to laugh and then stopped. She kissed me and it surprised me and I stopped her. “Kira, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She took two steps backward and I was still wondering what she was up to when her fingers briefly came up to her chest and the next thing I know, the towel was around her feet.

The whole thing was so abrupt it took me a while to come to my senses. When I did, I rushed to pick up the towel and carelessly draped it around her so all the essential parts of her were covered. 

“What’s the matter, Coop? Why are you acting like such a virgin? This isn’t like you.” 

“For you it might be nothing to invite a random girl to your place at this hour but it’s a big deal to me, Chase.”

“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I guess I’m trying something new.”

“That’s right,” she exclaimed, pushing past me to get to her drink. “Mystery girl!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please, I know all about this new chick you’re trying to bang. I think her name is Brittany or Blake...”

“How do you even know that? I haven’t told anyone…”

“Oh, I remember now! It’s Blayne! Damn, I’m like the smartest person I know!”

I rolled my eyes. “I literally won an award for being smart, Kira!”

“No one likes a show off, Cooper.”

I couldn’t believe she could still get to me. “I’m this close to kicking you out!”

“Oh please. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” She said and picked up her phone from the counter. The towel was barely being held by her free hand. “So, if you’re not going to taste all this deliciousness, I’ll call Sean.”

“What? I thought you two were broken up!”

“Relax, it’s just a booty call.”

“And you have no one else you can call?”

“Cooper, you know I’m not in the mood for bullshit. And anyone I call is going to bring some level of bullshit. Sean and I we’re both dead inside so I don’t have to deal with anything and just enjoy the most carnal, beautiful act in the world. Remember there was a time you used to want it, Coop. Like, four weeks ago when this chick wasn’t on your radar.”

I knew it was a terrible idea. “Kira, this is a terrible idea.” 

She just scoffed at me. “I don’t get people like you,” she said. “You think dating some emotionally repressed chick is going to solve all your problems?”

“Just because she doesn’t fuck every guy she sees doesn’t make her emotionally repressed.”

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I knew it was going to make things worse. I could tell she needed my help. I didn’t know when it got so personal.

“You know what,” she said, grabbing her things from around the room. “It was a bad idea coming here. I thought maybe you gave a shit but you’re too busy falling in love with undateable women!”

  “Kira, stop it. You don’t have to leave.”

She wasn’t listening to me so I grabbed her by the shoulders and made her stop. “I’m sorry, okay. I wasn’t trying to be a jerk. I was just worried, you know that.”

“Coop it’s okay.”

“Look, you’re an adult. You can sleep with whoever you want, if you think you can handle it.”

“I can handle it.”

“Great. And you’re right. I always fall for undateable women because then I can make it their fault when it doesn’t work out and I can enjoy the perks of having a woman while keeping us both away from the emotional gratification that a healthy relationship should provide.” 

“Well, you’re an adult. So, if you think you have something with this girl that’s worth waiting for, then do it. But remember, she’s still engaged to someone.”

“How do you even…”

She held up a finger. “Don’t mess with the best.”

I nodded cautiously. “Anyway, um, I’m going to get some rest because I have an early meeting.”

“When do you not have an early meeting, Cooper?”

“What can I say some of us have to work to stay rich. Unlike some others who can rely fully on their loaded ex-husbands.”

“Get your own loaded ex-husband. Envy is not a good look on you, Cooper.”

“Ha-ha. That’s hilarious! Does Sean know you have a yeast infection?”

“What... I don’t have a yeast infection!”

“He’s coming here to answer that booty call, right? Well, I’ll just wait for him here and maybe ask you casually about that yeast infection!”

“Stop yelling!”

I held up a finger. “Don’t mess with the best!”

She threw me a glare and held up the middle fingers of both her hands. “Go to sleep, nerd!”

“I will, raging bitch!”

I know what you’re thinking. We must look like a bunch of mean people but I assure you that’s just how we talk.  There’s nothing mean about it, it’s just banter.

I locked my room to make it horny Kira proof, and changed into a pair of shorts but I couldn’t rest my brain long enough to get any sleep.

Carl’s phone call was a godsend. I was trying to be patient but patience is not my strong suit. “Everything okay?”

“I lost her.”

“What?”

“I was following her when a police officer stopped me and started asking questions. He was getting suspicious so I had to be careful.”

“What about the bags?”

“I couldn’t find them either.”

“Maybe she went to a hotel. It was late.”

“Could be. But wherever she is I’ll find her. I just need some time to track her down.”

“Okay. Do your best.”

So much for peace of mind.

Attending a shareholder’s meeting without any sleep should be fun.

But to be honest, I couldn’t care less about the meeting or the repercussions of my negligence because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

She wasn’t safe.

And she was out there on her own.

No matter how much I tried to think positive, the bad thoughts continued to come.