Apoplectic (adj.) – Overcome with anger
We piled out into the warm sun – the old woman from the Twelve Apostles was right, it had finally cleared up. I immediately had to take off a few layers that I’d piled on this morning – our cold start felt a world away now we were cooking on the side of a road. The heat was dancing on the surface of the dusty tarmac and licking at our legs.
‘I’m no expert but they must be the Grampians.’ I pointed my arm to the tumbling and slightly hazy-looking green mountains in the distance.
‘No shit,’ Shelley said through gritted teeth. ‘I don’t know about you but that looks one hell of a walk away.’
I glanced at my feet, hurt that she was being so sarky. It was a complete accident we were in this situation. And not entirely my fault either. She was co-driver on this trip too.
‘It’s bloody miles away! What are we going to do? Oh God, do we have enough water?’ Cara asked, clasping her hand to her throat and widening her eyes in shock.
‘We’ve got two choices – either we head to the nearest town, which, by the look of it, is a good few kilometres’ trek, or we wait and hope someone passes to give us a lift,’ Shelley said, glancing up from the map spread out on the bonnet to the looming mountains that appeared closer than they actually were.
‘I can’t bloody walk all that way in these!’ Cara pointed to her completely impractical footwear.
‘You didn’t bring any other shoes with you?’
She looked at me like I was stupid.
‘’Course I did.’ She tutted and pulled open her bag to bring out three other pairs of high heels, just as pretty but equally as impractical. ‘What? I thought we’d be hanging out in wine bars and nice restaurants, not trekking to get petrol in the middle of the bloody outback!’
‘My size threes won’t even fit one of your size eight toes,’ Shelley muttered.
I shook my head. ‘None of mine would either.’
‘Right, well that sorts it. You can’t walk because you’ll break a bloody ankle so you’re going to have to stay here with the car and mind our things,’ Shelley said decisively, before wiping the sheen from her forehead.
‘What! You’re leaving me here! I’ll get my neck snapped by murderers if you do that!’ Cara stepped back in shock.
‘You can wait in the shade of that tree over there; we’ve still got some food left over from dinner last night and there’s enough water.’ Shelley glanced at me to see if I was on board with this plan. I didn’t know what our other options were. We couldn’t all just wait here hoping a friendly driver would pass by. We hadn’t seen any other cars for the last hour, and heading off to find a town was something more than one of us should do in case we got lost.
‘I think she’s right. You can work on your tan?’ I offered.
‘This is bullshit,’ Cara huffed. ‘It’s not even my fault we’re in this situation. I thought you two drivers knew how cars worked!’
‘You should have been better prepared with your fucking wardrobe, Georgia should have checked the petrol more closely and we probably should have just sacked this trip off and headed straight to Adelaide for the sample dress sale—’ Shelley flew her hands in the air.
‘What dress sale?’ I asked slowly, flicking my head to her pissed-off grimace.
She sighed loudly, as if explaining was a huge inconvenience. ‘To get my wedding dress.’
‘You haven’t got your wedding dress yet?’ Cara sharply inhaled. ‘But you said it was all under control, that Lars was on the case.’ She looked as confused as I felt. What was Shelley thinking, leaving the most important item until the very last minute, and why hadn’t she told us that this was the reason for our road trip earlier?
‘He is,’ she snapped. ‘He told me about this sale. Anyway, it’s my issue not yours, but now that plan may be ruined and the wedding may as well be called off seeing as we don’t know how long we’ll be out here!’
No one spoke for a minute.
‘Hang on, so this girly road trip was just an excuse to get from A to B and pick up your dress.’ I clenched my fist. Things were starting to make sense; it had seemed too out of character for her not to make this journey more wedding central. ‘God forbid we miss out on getting you to the dress sale in time; forget the fact we’re roasting in the flipping Australian outback, oh no, got to get the perfect dress for your perfect day!’ She glared back at me. ‘If Cara hadn’t spent ages in Melbourne faffing about, then we would have got to the hire-car place on time to get an actual car that has a reliable fuel gauge!’ My legs were shaking and my head was pounding in the exposed heat we were all standing in.
‘Err, don’t blame me!’ Cara swung around to face me, her lips pursed and stance quite aggressive, given the height difference she had on me.
‘Fine. I’ll go by myself.’ Shelley balled up the map in her hands and began stomping up the gravelly road ahead.
I forced myself to calm down and catch my breath, realising that arguing wasn’t helping the situation. I turned to Cara. ‘Stay in the shade and only flag down a car if the driver looks trustworthy. We’ll be as quick as we can.’
I couldn’t believe Shelley’s first thought was not about our safety but about her precious wedding dress, or the fact she’d planned this whole trip just to go to a dress sale rather than hang out with her besties. I was pissed off at her and didn’t want to be spending the next few hours alone with her, but I couldn’t let her walk off on her own, not in this foul mood. I picked up my pace to catch up with her, ignoring Cara whining that we were a pair of bitches as she stomped over to the cluster of trees opposite the car.
I muttered under my breath with each heavy step I took. Shelley had stalked off and was busy muttering profanities under her breath too. What had happened to the girl I’d met on that dreamy beach in Thailand? She’d be cracking jokes at how inept we all were, making it a fun story that we’d all remember fondly years later, not causing tension so thick in this oppressive heat that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. We still hadn’t seen or heard another car since setting off. I was glad that we hadn’t chosen to wait on the roadside for a prince to rescue us – at least every step was a step closer to civilisation, petrol, and for this hen-do trip to be over. I was quickly drenched in sweat as I plodded on behind Shelley. It was more of a slog than I had imagined – that or I was ridiculously out of shape. High leafy trees surrounding the road blocked out most of the sunlight and the fresh air, making it feel as muggy as a greenhouse, not helped by the weight of unspoken words. In the distance was a smattering of huge granite rocks, seemingly piled haphazardly on top of each other, like some natural game of Jenga. As much as I was struggling to catch my breath, slicked in sweat and desperate for a cold, refreshing drink, I had to admit that the view from here was sensational. Heavy woods stretched out like a mossy blanket as far as the eye could see, gently shaded from pea greens, to rich auburns to mustard yellows. Out from the cover of the trees that rolled to the horizon like billowing sheets on a washing line, the sky was as piercing as denim blue jeans. Leaves the colours of an autumnal rainbow danced around us. Smells of perfumed plants floated up to greet us, and the faint cry of a kookaburra singing from the top of a nearby eucalyptus tree was just about audible.
Being surrounded by such natural beauty made me realise that bickering over silly problems was not worth it. I didn’t want this moment ruined by foul moods and sharp tongues; this was her hen do, despite the hidden motives, and, as a bridesmaid, it was my duty to put any issues to one side and smooth things over. I was going to be the bigger person.
‘Sorry about before, Shell,’ I said, gently taking her warm arm and pulling her to a stop for a second. ‘I should have been more observant and less snappy with you.’
She resisted initially then dropped her hunched-up shoulders to face me. Her cheeks were flushed, mascara was puddling under her tired eyes and her cropped hair was tufted up at the front.
‘Me too. I just know how dangerous it can be breaking down in the middle of nowhere. I mean, I was probably overreacting, considering it’s the middle of the day, but still, once you’ve lived here, you know that these horror stories can and do happen.’ She scuffed her feet in the dirt. ‘It has been quite nice to stretch my legs; it is pretty spectacular here to be fair.’
We silently called a truce and stood in awe of the crumbling and peaceful vantage point. Neither of us spoke or moved for a minute or two as we caught our breath, seemingly forgetting we were on a mission to get petrol, just letting our argument float away on the autumnal breeze trailing past.
‘I still can’t believe you’ve not got your dress sorted, hun. Are you not cacking yourself about leaving it to the last minute?’
‘Sometimes you’ve got to take risks, I guess.’ She shrugged. ‘Come on, we’d better get a move on. We don’t want Cara to be attacked by a bunch of dingoes.’ She paused and gave me a look. ‘Well …’
‘Wait, you don’t think that would happen, do you?’ My knowledge of the Australian wildlife amounted to knowing that most things here could kill you.
‘Pfft.’ Shelley shook her head as we started walking again. ‘If they did bother to sniff around her they’d regret it. She’s tougher than she looks, plus the town isn’t actually too far away.’ She pointed to a sign I hadn’t spotted up ahead, partly tucked behind overflowing thorn bushes.
I didn’t want to push the dress thing, seeing as we’d only just made up, but it felt like she wasn’t telling the whole truth. The control freak Shelley, who I’d seen emerge over the last couple of months, obsessing over every small wedding detail, would not be so blasé about leaving her dress to chance. My gut told me that something else was going on here, something she obviously didn’t want to discuss.