Sage’s ass was the first thing I saw as I walked into my office.

The best part? Her skirt was wet, so the skirt clung more than usual to her generous curves.

The worst part? She was standing on the second-to-top step of a ladder in front of my windows, stringing flashing mini red and white hearts around the frame.

“Have you lost your bloody mind?”

Okay, maybe that came out a bit louder than I’d expected. I also didn’t expect her to shriek, flail, lose her hold on the lights, and then pinwheel her arms as she fell backward.

I dropped my unsecured briefcase, scattering papers everywhere, and rushed forward to catch her, nabbing her at the very last second. She wasn’t happy to be saved, however.

“You asshat!” Bouncing hearts wobbled on the headband precariously perched on her head as she angled herself into position to try to assault me. She missed. “I could’ve been seriously hurt.”

Shifting her weight, I eased a hip on my desk. I was in no hurry to let her go, crazy headband and all. “I’m an asshat? You’re in here hanging up stuff you know I don’t like and then you nearly fall so you can sue me for millions.”

Her lips twitched. “You don’t have millions to sue for.”

“Au contraire, my little muffin.”

She snorted and wiggled against me, waking up another part of my anatomy. Her big green eyes popped even wider. “Seriously? It’s lunchtime.”

“I already ate.” I lowered my head and took a healthy sniff of her hair. She carried the scent of the lake with her today, salty and pure. “And I could get hard for you morning, noon, and night.”

“As you’ve proven.” She took a quick glance at the door and some of my hard-on deflated. Of course she was worrying about being discovered.

Because we were just a big ol’ secret.

“Is Seth out there?”

“Making out with Ally in his office, I’m sure.”

She sniffed. “Not everyone is a horndog on speed like you are.”

“You like that I’m a horndog on speed. Not that I’d ever use that particular phrasing.”

“You just did.”

“Your logic defies explanation, as usual.” I righted her on my lap and gathered the lights she still grasped as if they were a lifeline. It was only then that I noticed the streamers. And the foil hearts. And the little plastic doohickeys dancing in my neat row of plants. “What the hell?”

“I had a rough day.” She shrugged.

“And that caused you to defile my office?” That would only make sense to Sage.

“I knew it’d piss you off, and I wanted a fight.” She shrugged again, her cheeks turning pink. “It’s probably PMS. Or something else even worse,” she added in an undertone.

“You wanted a fight. So you put up Valentine’s garbage everywhere, and then blame it on PMS.” I shook my head. “This is why my relationships last a month, max.”

It was not the right thing to say. At all.

She shoved at me, jerking off my lap. “You know what? I’ve probably already reached my expiration date then. So why don’t we just—”

Panic gripped my throat and I hauled her against me. “I’m sorry. I’m an asshat.” Not a word I’d use under normal circumstances, but desperate times. I righted her headband. “I had a rough day.”

She angled her head and her headband hearts bounced. “You aren’t allowed to turn my own words back on me after you said something mean.”

“It was mean, and I apologize, as I said. But it’s true.” She started to bolt, but I clasped her wrist and held firm. “I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never had to before.”

“Do what, exactly?”

I jerked a shoulder. “Compromise, mostly. And trying to understand someone else’s feelings. I never thought about any but my own.”

“That you would admit that is both horrifying and…horrifying.” She sighed and wrapped the lights she still held around my neck. “Death by Valentine’s hearts could get me a place in history, so watch your step, bub.”

“If you kill me with them, then they’ll be admitted as evidence and you won’t be able to hang them up.”

Her giggle floated over me, sweeter than the glass of wine I’d had with lunch. “Yeah, I think if I committed murder, I could probably skip the decorating afterward.”

I picked up the strand, rubbing my thumb over one of the little lights. “These are actually sort of cute.”

She touched my forehead with the back of her hand. “You don’t feel warm.”

“I can direct you to somewhere else I definitely do.”

“Did I mention horndog?” But she was smiling again, so I would probably consent to wearing these lights and nothing else for the rest of the day if only she asked.

Luckily, that didn’t seem to be on the table.

“Do these twinkle?”

“Um, yes.”

“Not regular twinkle. Like the one after another in a row.”

She stared at me as if I was speaking Latin. “You mean chaser lights?”

“I guess.”

“Yes, these do that. If you’ll let me go, I’ll put them up and show you.”

“And trust you won’t fall again? Not likely. I’ll do it.” I nudged her back and stood, tugging on the lights until she let them go.

“Oooh, big strong competent man.” She held a hand to her chest. “You’re so incredible.”

“That’s what you said this morning.”

“Shh.”

I lifted a brow as I walked around her and ascended the ladder. “Why is your ass wet?”

She smacked at the back of her skirt. “Jeez, is it still? Yes. Ugh. I fell in some snow.”

“Surprise, considering what happened here.”

“I wasn’t hurt, thanks for asking. I did get asked out to dinner though.”

I gripped the lights that much tighter as I strung them over the window frame. They were too small to stay where I wanted them to, and the wire wasn’t nearly malleable enough.

That was probably why I was smashing it in place with the side of my fist.

“Is that so?”

“Mmm-hmm. Where did you go to lunch?”

“Sherman Inn. What did you say to this dinner invitation?”

“I said I had plans tonight, but maybe next week. We exchanged numbers. What did you have to eat?”

It was a damn miracle I didn’t grind the tiny twinkle lights into sparkly dust. “The lobster roll.”

“Out of season, isn’t it?”

I draped the end of the lights over the edge of the window frame and climbed down a step, deliberately maintaining my height advantage. “You made an agreement.”

She was sitting on the edge of my desk, her shapely legs in her soft tights crossed demurely at the ankle. Her lashes fluttered as she met my gaze. “Did I now?”

“You know you did.” I stepped down the final step and braced my fists on either side of her hips on the desk. “Who is he?”

If she said Moose, I was probably going to do something unspeakable.

“He?” More fluttering. “Oh, the person who asked me to dinner? It’s a she.”

I growled and she smiled up at me, grasping the lapels of my jacket. “She’s very cute though. New schoolteacher in town. Her name is Kelsey, and she wants to be friends.” She licked her lips. “It’s always good to make friends, isn’t it?”

“You enjoy pushing my buttons, princess.”

“Maybe. Just a little.” She tipped back her head. “I’ll tell you a little secret though. I like when you push mine too. One in particular especially.”

“Fuck.” I lowered my head to hers. “If I kiss you here, I won’t be able to stop.”

She didn’t move away. If anything, she inched closer. “That so?”

“Hey, is everything okay in here? We heard a crash, but me and Seth were—” Ally fell silent, stopping in the doorway.

Immediately, I stepped back and smoothed a hand over my tie while Sage hopped off the desk. “Sure thing, all’s fine in here.” Sage’s voice was unnaturally loud as she rushed forward to gather my papers off the floor. “Just a little accident. I seem to keep having them today. Did I tell you how I fell in the snow? But I met this really sweet woman, new in town, and she’s teaching kindergarten at the elementary school. Too bad Laurie doesn’t have her, she’s super sweet.”

The stream of mostly sensible babble fooled no one, including my sister-in-law. But she wasn’t looking at Sage. Her attention was centered squarely on me. “Sage, can you give Oliver and me a moment alone?”

Still collecting papers, Sage looked between us. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I do. I think it’s a great idea.” I cocked a brow at Sage’s frown, kneeling down to help her. “About time.”

“Oliver, dammit.”

“What happened to your swear jar?” Ally demanded.

An odd question in light of what surely was at the forefront of my sister-in-law’s mind, but I didn’t claim to understand women.

Sage tilted up her chin. “Maybe I don’t need it anymore.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that?” Ally folded her arms. “I thought you were concerned about swearing in front of Laurie.”

I had a feeling there was vital subtext I was missing here, and quite frankly, it was fascinating to try to discern. I’d probably have to down half a bottle of Tylenol later for my growing headache, but for now, I would settle back and watch the show.

At least until the blood spatter hit my shoes.

Sage let out a derisive noise. “I can manage not to swear in front of her. Hell, you know everyone in this town wants me to stay a goody-goody. I tried. I did. But the clothes got too tight.”

“Not from where I’m crouching.”

“Shut up,” they both said simultaneously.

Another thing I would never understand about women. Even when they appeared to be fighting—although over what, in this case, I had not one clue—they would always side with each other over the nearest man. It was a given.

“No one wanted you to stay a goody-goody. That wasn’t it at all. You were never that anyway.”

“No, I just had crappy luck and crappier taste. At least I finally figured out how to find a man who can get it up.”

I couldn’t help preening. It wasn’t much of an achievement, but I suspected I’d be thrown over a barrel momentously. Might as well take my victories where I could.

Ally gasped and stared accusingly at me. “You. You gave her that last O that was almost as good as pumpernickel rolls.”

For probably the first time in my life, I was rendered mute.

“And so what if he did? So what?” Sage rose and tried to get in Ally’s face, which was impossible since Ally was half a foot taller and much too round to allow such kind of confrontation. “Am I not allowed to have pleasure in my life? You get to have it all the damn time. What about me?”

“I never said you couldn’t have pleasure. Did I? I even offered to buy you that vibrator I liked and you said no!”

“Ladies, this is a place of business.” I promptly stopped speaking when they both glared at me. Maybe when they started up again, I’d just sneak out and shut the door, then have my meeting in the conference room down the hall.

Oh fuck, my meeting. Yeah, they needed to disperse. Like now.

Because this wasn’t already awkward enough, Wonder Twin decided to stroll in, hands in his pockets and a smug expression on his face that indicated he’d probably gotten some in the last hour.

I’d gotten something as well, but it definitely wasn’t sex. Heartburn? Absolutely. A minor case of performance anxiety now that I’d been ranked behind pumpernickel rolls? Practically a certainty.

“Hey, hey now, what’s all the commotion in here?” He paused in the doorway and grinned at the window. “Your lights are crooked.”

“Why don’t you ask your brother what the commotion is? Hmm? Hmm?”

From Ally’s stare, I determined I was supposed to say something. Perhaps declare that I was indeed the one who had shot a bow through Sage’s hymen. However, since I still cared about the fact that this was a business office—despite the crooked lights and loud argument more suitable to the Jerry Springer show—I was not taking the bait.

“This can be discussed at another time,” I said evenly.

“Oh yeah, like when? Tonight?”

“No. We have plans tonight.” Sage pulled off her heart headband and tossed it on my desk. “Or do you want to deny me my Valentine’s Day orgasm too?”

Seth rubbed his temple. “What in the hell are you people talking about?”

“Keep in mind, this is all because of you. You, Alison. You’re the one who insisted he come with me to watch over poor little clueless Sage. And you’re the one who told him I’d sleep with just anyone, Seth. So maybe you got your wishes, both of you.”

No one spoke, least of all me. She’d managed to slot me into the spot I’d been trying to deny since the first day of Vegas. That we’d been born of convenience, the same reason we continued.

It wasn’t true on my end. But how was I to know if it was on Sage’s? From what she’d just said, it sure as hell seemed possible. Whether or not she was angry and defensive, she might’ve also been honest. Sometimes truth was spoken at the most inconvenient times.

And I didn’t want to fucking hear it. Not now. Not ever.

“I have a meeting,” I said, wanting all of them out of my sight.

Including Sage.

Especially Sage.