Chapter Three
Jordan
I turn to one of my monitors, and like every day, the first thing I do is pull up the calendar. When I see the change, my day improves. Jay is free for lunch now.
Some people might think I’m a little obsessed, and maybe I am, but having this much computer knowledge can’t just go to waste. I know everything there is to know when it comes to hacking, and they’ve made it even easier here at Osbourne Corp. They’ve given me the keys to the castle, so of course I’m going to take a look around. Even more so when it comes to my obsession. I can’t stop myself from checking in on her.
One of the first things I did when I met Jay was to go in and see what she was up to. Getting her calendar was the easiest way to do that. If anything, she’s thorough, and her entire day is planned out to the minute on her work calendar. I know when I can bump into her. Make sure we’re always running into one another. I could watch her on the cameras, but seeing her in person is so different. To be near her. To smell her and sneak small touches. It’s all I have, but I soak up all I can get.
It’s a little more difficult to predict her evenings as she doesn’t list her social life on her work schedule, but after a few lunches together, I realized that she doesn’t seem to have one. That news shouldn’t have made me as excited as it did, but I can’t say I’m sorry about it.
I send her a quick email now that I know she’s free to see if she wants to meet for lunch.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Lunch
You free today? I think they’re serving potato soup.
J
I called down this morning first thing to see what they were having. The potato soup is her favorite, so this should do the trick.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Lunch
Perfect! I’m starving. Hope I can make it until noon.
Hungry like the wolf
Jay
My insides warm as I reply to her.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Lunch
Bottom left drawer. Thought you might have skipped this morning.
I wait half a second before my email pings.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Lunch
SHUUUUUTTT UUUUUUPP!!!!
Okay you’ve officially made my day and it’s only 9 a.m. You get the biggest gold star out of everyone on my list. Pineapple muffin? It’s like you’re psychic.
Soups are on me at noon. Be there or be square.
I reply back with a gif of Yoda giving her a thumbs-up, then immediately regret it. I put my face in my hands and rub my eyes, wondering why I’m an idiot. No wonder she doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend. I should have sent something cool and called her “babe” or “sweetheart.” Something. Anything. But instead I sent an old man from Star Wars as a token of my love. This is why I’ll remain single forever. Not that I want to be with just anyone. It’s her that I want and I keep seeming to slide myself into the friend zone.
I groan, and I feel a paper clip hit the top of my head. I look up and see Paige shoot me the bird before she goes back to her computer screen.
She might know something is going on between Jay and me. She likes to know what everyone is up to, and she’s spotted us in the cafeteria a time or two. Little does she know I’m solidly in the friend zone and keep reaffirming that with every email.
I was hoping today I could do something more suave. We had lunch Monday and Tuesday but I still couldn’t bring myself to make a move. I know she loves the bakery down in Tribeca, so I took two subways to get her the pineapple muffin she’s always talking about. It’s her favorite, and she never takes the time to eat breakfast.
My plan for romancing her this morning didn’t go so well, so maybe I can try again at lunch. I decide to work as much as I can before then to distract myself from the epic swing-and-a-miss.
In our security department, I run the background checks for all employees and potential employees. If you’re interviewing with us, I’m the one who gets an extensive look into your past and then decides if you’d be a good fit. I also randomly research existing employees to make sure things are still copacetic. A few years ago, I found out that someone in finance had racked up a ton of debt and was slowly stealing from the company. It was only a few hundred dollars at the time, but they were well on their way to a bigger slice of pie.
Computers have always made sense to me. Women, not so much, and the problem with that is I’ve never tried to figure them out. Now I’m obsessed with Jay, and I have no clue how to go about it. I’m not the type of guy that sits around and talks about my feelings. Hell, I don’t really talk much at all. I consider myself the strong, silent type, and it’s seemed to work for me so far. I wouldn’t say I’m shy, but I have no clue how to approach asking Jay out on a date.
I try to ignore my own thoughts and focus on the task at hand. I won’t get anywhere brooding over how to get the woman of my dreams. Actions speak louder than words, and I’m going to try to focus on that.
By the time I go through three new employee files, I’m ready to blow up my computer. Don’t people understand that social media is forever? It doesn’t matter how long ago you posted it, I’ll find it. Drunken college photos can be excused. But racist rants under a fake name on Twitter can’t hide from me. Sorry New Hire Number Two, but you’re out of here.
I check my watch and see that I have ten minutes before I meet Jay. Pushing away from my desk, I raise my chin at Justice, letting him know I’m heading out. He’s got his eyes on Paige but catches my motion and nods back. I roll my eyes at the two of them. Fresh off their honeymoon and they can’t seem to stop eye-fucking one another.
I know it’s jealousy on my part, so I try to shake it off. I want what they have, but with Jay.
I get on the elevator and punch the button for the cafeteria. It was completely redone a while back, and now it’s one of the best places to eat in a five-block radius. It’s convenient for people who work in the building. Or people like me, who want some peace and quiet. Well, except for Jay. I’ll take her noise any day of the week. I could sit and listen to her ramble for days. Sometimes I even record her without her knowing and play it back at night when I go to sleep. Just listening to her talk soothes me.
I get in line and order two soups and three grilled cheeses. Then I order two salads, yogurt, a side of chips, three chocolate chip cookies and a couple of Diet Cokes. I’ll eat most of this, but I know Jay will make a sizable dent in it. She’ll say she doesn’t want any, but by the time lunch is over, she’ll have gone through almost half. I like that she feels comfortable enough to eat around me. I hear horror stories of women who starve themselves, but Jay doesn’t look like that type of woman to me. She’s all curves, and I’d love to caress every one of them.
She probably feels comfortable enough to eat most of my food because she doesn’t look at me like someone she wants. My own insecurities are creeping in, and I have to fight to push them down. I made a promise to myself that today I would push outside the box and try something new. I’m going to attempt to flirt. But this may go terribly wrong.
I grab us some drinks and then pay before I sit down at our usual table. It’s over in a corner by the window, and is somewhat private for a large cafeteria. As soon as I sit down, I spot her coming in the door.
She’s wearing a deep purple dress that should be conservative by most standards. It’s past her knees and has a high collar, so no cleavage is showing. It also has long sleeves with cuffs at the end. Nearly every inch of her is covered, but the way the material wraps around her hips and thighs ought to be illegal. I watch her move across the room, the longing I have for her pulsing through me.
I stand up and hold out her chair for her as she struts over and shakes her head at me.
“I told you lunch was on me today. You already played your royal flush with the pineapple muffin. You’re going to make me feel like a jerk if you won’t let me do something nice for you, too.”
She says all this, but she’s already sitting down and reaching for the grilled cheese and Diet Coke. I sit down next to her and pass her a napkin, hiding my smile. Her just having lunch with me is more than reward enough.
“Well, looks like everyone is back from the honeymoon. How are your love birds doing in security? God, I’m so jealous of Miles’s and Mallory’s tans. I’m practically a ghost next to the two of them.”
“I think it’s about the same so far,” I say, passing her a cup of soup while I take one of the sandwiches.
“Can you imagine three weeks on a tropical island? I don’t know what I’d do with myself. Probably get super sunburned because this fanny hasn’t seen the light of day since Friends was on prime-time television.”
I pause with my soup spoon halfway to my mouth as I look down Jay’s body, thinking about her oiled up and lying in the sun, glistening with water droplets and smelling like coconuts. For just a moment I imagine my rough hands on her, rubbing in lotion and hearing her moan at my touch.
“Jordan?” She says my name like she’s already said it a few times.
“What?” I say, grabbing the napkin and wiping away any drool that may have been on my chin.
“Are you okay? You look a little flushed.” She reaches up, pressing the back of her hand to my forehead. “Hmm. You feel cool, but your cheeks are red.”
“I’m fine,” I say, ducking my head and taking a bite of the first thing I put my hand on. God, I’ve got to get the erection in my pants under control. There’s no way I can stand up without putting out an eye.
“Anyway, I was saying how nice it would be to have a vacation where you just lie around practically naked for three weeks.” She lets out a dreamy sigh.
I groan and try to cover it with a cough. Jesus, this woman has no idea what she’s doing to me. I’m going to die from the ache in my balls. I just know it. Her not even knowing what she is doing is even more intoxicating.
“That would be nice,” I manage to say without choking on my drink.
“Nice? God, that sounds like paradise. I wouldn’t even need to pack. Just kidnap me and take me away. Absolute heaven.”
I think about being the one to take her on that vacation, and I decide to push this time. Just a little. “I’ll remember that when your birthday rolls around,” I say, smiling at her.
A moment passes between us, and then a blush hits her cheek. She shrugs and gives me a playful pat on my hand. “Perfect. Just make sure you show up with a margarita.”
Jay tells me about her day so far and what else she has to finish this afternoon. I love listening to her talk, so I don’t say much. Just answer here and there to let her know she’s got my full attention. But she always has that.
After our hour is almost up and we’ve both eaten all the food, she leans back in her chair and rubs her belly.
“Why do you always make me eat so much?” She gives me a wink, and my body lights up.
“You should eat more. You’re too skinny.” I grab her hand off her belly and wrap my fingers around her wrist. The touch is playful, but I’ve never done this before. “Look how skinny your wrist is.”
She blushes again and sits up in her chair. But she doesn’t take her hand from mine.
“Maybe you’ve just got bear paws for hands. Ever think of that?” Her voice is a little lower than before. She leans into me, and the smell of chocolate hits me.
I don’t know where the courage comes from, but maybe it’s just from months of frustration. I’m tired of being boxed in with her. I want Jay to see me as more than just a coworker she has lunch with. I want her to see me as a man. Preferably one she wants to rub up against.
“All the better to eat you with, my dear.” I pull her hand closer to me and bring her knuckles up to my mouth. I brush my lips against them and then put her hand back on the table.
Her color deepens, and for a moment, she’s speechless. I don’t know if I went too far too fast, but I’m tired of pretending I don’t want her, that I’m not a good enough man for her. I would give her anything she wanted and more. All she has to do is give me a sign. Let me know I can have her.
“That was a wolf that said that. Not a bear,” she mumbles as she stands up abruptly. In her rush, her chair falls over, making a huge racket. People turn in our direction, and I can see that she’s embarrassed as her face flushes even redder. “I have to go.”
She practically runs out of the cafeteria before I can do anything. It all goes so fast it takes a second before I realize what happened and how she slipped through my fingers.
Once the shock wears off, I reach down and pick up her chair, straightening it. Ignoring the murmurs and the curious looks of my audience, I take the tray over to the trash. I pretend that no one witnessed what happened. And that no one saw Jay’s reaction to me.
I have to tell myself this over and over as I make my way to the security floor and go into the private bathroom. Because once I’m in there, I can finally curse myself for what just happened.