12
Clothesline felt like shit. He was tired of being in bed and he was tired of everyone looking at him like he was a freak and he was tired of feeling like he didn’t know his own body.
He shoved to his feet and gritted his teeth against the pain in his body and the dizziness that made his stomach lurch. He was damned tired of being told what to do and what to eat.
It was time he got back to living and damn anyone who had a problem with it.
He smelled Pie before he saw him and let out a string of curses.
“What the hell are you doing in my house and where the fuck is Harmony?” He said in place of the normal pleasantries civilized people employed.
“Good morning pussycat.” Pie said over the paper he was reading.
Line hissed before he could stop himself and that alone made him even more pissed off.
“Fuck you Pie. get the hell out of my house.” He roared
“Can’t do it. River wants someone here to play nurse maid and make sure you don’t go apeshit. I volunteered.”
“Of course, you did.” Line limped to the kitchen and jerked open the refrigerator. His mood lightened slightly at finding it stocked.
He pulled out a half-eaten roast and crammed it in the microwave.
“Where is Harmony?” He snarled.
“Safe.” Pie grinned.
“Safe where?” Line gripped the counter to keep from leaping at Pie and beating the shit out of him.
“She’s at Lost Lakes. She’s safe there. It’s where you need to be, at least until you’re healed. Whatever they gave you screwed with your healing. The little lioness you rescued said lions don’t heal as fast as we do. So, you are fucked.”
Line gripped his hips, finding them bony and bare since he’d neglected getting dressed before searching for food.
He looked over to where Pie sat. his brother’s eyes were on the paper, but Line could feel his worry.
“There’s more.” Line knew it.
“You changed. Your lion is fucked up, we thought you’d kill your own mate. River sent her away to save her.” Pie ran his hands over his head.
“There’s alot. The woman, lioness, said they will want you dead now, but will probably wait and see if you can breed so they can get your weird ass kid to study.”
“Why are you here?” Line sighed.
Pie slammed the paper down on the table.
“Because you are my fucking brother, my friend and this shit has been rough, ok? Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you like knowing how I blame myself for not watching you? I could have helped. Why the fuck didn’t you trust me to help you?”
Anger. It was written all over Pie, but there was more, shame, guilt, fear.
“I don’t blame you for it.” Line exhaled the words. He didn’t, hadn’t even thought about it really.
“I blame myself.” Pie said quietly.
“Don’t.”
“No. listen. If you never get your wolf back… I can’t live with that. I know it will cause me to snap. Right now, River is telling me you are fine, and your wolf is fine and all that shit, but I… I … I want to know. The truth. I can’t even smell him. All I smell is fucking lion and that’s fucked up.”
Right then Clothesline felt very vulnerable. He walked into his room and tugged on a pair of old sweats. When he came back Pie had the roast on a plate and a tall glass of water sitting beside it on the table.
“I don’t know.” He said. “That’s the truth. I don’t know where my wolf is or if he is still even there. I can shift into the lion, but the wolf is out of reach. I have to live with that. So, do you.”
Pie shook his head and looked heartbroken. “How can you live with it? How can you sit there like nothing has changed and just live with it?”
“Harmony.”
He breathed her name like a prayer. She was the tether that held him to the world. She was his reason to keep breathing.
Pie nodded grimly.
“A mate. She’s a good mate.” Pie said in a toneless voice. “A mate you cannot be trusted to be with alone. That is fucked up even for you.” His brows furrowed. “Maybe it’s the new thing around here.”
“I will get this under control.” He said firmly “A mate gives strength. You will see.”
Pie’s eyes shot to him. “I don’t have a mate. I never will.”
There was insanity behind Pie’s eyes. He was losing himself and it broke Line’s heart.
“Until then, you have us.” He said it with a force that he didn’t know he had.
“We are a pack, a family. You hang onto that.”
“You don’t understand. I should have fucking stopped you.” Pie said.
Line saw shadows pass over Pies eyes.
“I didn’t want you with me. I wanted to do it alone. I have to live with this and so do you. I am still me. Do you hate me now that you know what I am? Is our bond that weak? Can I not trust you now?”
Pie was shaking his head, but not in disagreement, he was shaking it hard as if to shake something loose.
“I was balls deep. I knew you were ditching me, but I wanted that fuck more than I wanted to watch you kill a bunch of assholes. You are my brother. You are my family. I let you down and you suffered through hell, because I wanted pussy more. I can’t just live with that shit.”
His eyes were flickering, he was fighting a change.
“Get the fuck out of my house before you change.” Line insisted, but Pie wasn’t listening.
Line threw open the back door and hauled Pie outside.
“Get a grip man.” He said, but Pie’s eyes had shifted, and he was sweating.
“Fuck.” Line cursed as Pie’s wolf burst from his body to stalk him.
Line forced a change and it hurt. His massive lion ripped free and let out a roar that sent the birds from the trees. Pie didn’t stop.
He leaped on Line’s golden back and bit down fiercely.
Line fought him, but he was careful not to kill him.
Line was present in his own head when the lion took control, but he didn’t have to restrain the beast. It was like the animal treasured Pie as much as Line did in human form.
He refused to hurt him.
Pie didn’t suffer with such sentiment. He ripped into Line again and again, but Line’s mind was churning. Pie wasn’t going for death blows, he was just trying to piss off the lion.
I have always been here
The words ran over his thoughts like butterfly wings.
Line had been afraid of the lion, of what it would become, but it was telling him, showing him that it was part of him.
He didn’t get to examine the thought for long. Pie tore into him again and again.
They fought for what seemed like hours. Line’s body was shaking. He was still too weak for the fight but knew his what game Pie was playing. He pushed himself.
Blood poured from his body, saliva dripped from his fangs and he fought, always halting his blows before they struck a death blow.
“Change back now.”
The command rippled in the air making it hard to breathe. Pie screamed as his body shifted and he lay panting in the dirt. Line too felt the ripping pain of a forced change, but it was followed quickly by his lion taking him again. River’s command shook the earth.
Power ripped through Clothesline and this time he emerged human, but from his lips came the howl of his wolf.
“You have lost nothing brother.” River said and still his voice pulsed. “Wake wolf.”
The wolf howled and Line felt him writhe in his middle. He screamed as fire ran through his blood, but he could not change, and his wolf was in agony.
He felt the wolf fading again, retreating from the blinding pain, but River stood over him and pushed him to stay, fight.
Line panted in pain, but River wouldn’t let him up. He demanded the wolf fight.
“That’s enough.” Pie gritted, but River wasn’t giving up.
“Why? What the fuck do you care?” The look he shot Pie was one that spoke of rage.
“It’s enough. He’s gone through enough.” Pie said again. “Leave him the fuck alone.”
“Shut up.” River commanded. “You thought he could fight, but you don’t think this is ok? I’m saving him you idiot.”
Another howl ripped from Line’s throat. He felt like he was being torn in two.
“You have peace to make brother. Peace inside. You have to accept yourself, all of it. They have to accept each other.”
With these words River stepped back and Line felt the pain ease. His wolf was still there, pacing in the deep shadows of him mind, but he was there.
Pie carried him into the house and dumped him in the shower.
“I don’t know what to say.” He started.
“Then don’t. What the fuck was that shit?” Line hissed when the water ran over his torn skin.
“We all have shit to work through.”
Line looked up and saw the haunted look in his brother’s eyes.
“It’s fine. I could have killed you twenty-six times. I counted. You need more practice.”
Pie let out a humorless laugh. “Cool then, I’ll come back tomorrow, and you can teach me a lesson.”
“You mean I can kick your ass again? I’ll mark it on my calendar.”
“Yeah fuck you.” Pie turned to leave and a grin split his face. “Don’t forget to wash your pussy.”
His laughter followed him out the door.
Line leaned his head against the shower wall and let the water wash away the blood.
“We are one fucked up pack of idiots.” He sighed, but he felt steadier and he had alot to think about.