CHAPTER SEVEN
Janie
Graduation is ungodly hot. I’m sitting on the lawn in my cap and gown, and it feels like the blue nylon might burst into flames spontaneously. These things have to be fire hazards because the material’s so cheap. I didn’t even buy mine. I rented the outfit from the temporary shop they set up in the cafeteria.
Slowly, I crane my head to look around the field. It’s a sizzling day, and the air seems to waver in front of my eyes. Graduates sit in the front, facing the stage, and then parents, sibling and friends are behind in the cheap-o white plastic chairs they’ve put out.
But even though I have a smile plastered on my face, inside everything is just confused. Thoughts whirl again and again in my head. What was it that Trent said to me in the wee hours of the morning? That he loved me? Did he mean it? Maybe the alpha was just caught up in the moment and blurted something that he now regrets.
Stop it, the voice in my head speaks firmly. You’re always undercutting yourself, Janie. You are your own worst enemy, and not someone else. Why wouldn’t he love you? Why do you doubt it?
So I straighten my shoulders and turn to sit in my seat properly, facing forwards like an expectant graduate. They’ve already finished with the speeches and people are being called on-stage to collect their diplomas. Besides, the voice in my head is right. I am loveable. I am sexy and desirable, and Trent Lewis is the first man who’s made me feel that way. It shouldn’t come as a shock because I’ve been undermining myself this entire time, and need to work on my confidence.
So I smile to myself, cocking my head a little as my classmates parade on stage to cheers and hollers, waving vigorously at their friends and family.
“Group three,” hisses Clarissa, the secretary from the front office. “Stand and follow me.”
The next two rows of graduates, myself included, rise and begin to file to the front. Sure enough, there’s Trent up ahead, so tall and commanding. That white grin flashes, a reminder of the cocky football player he once was.
You’ll miss him, won’t you? the voice in my head speaks again. Not just for the nightly sex sessions, but because you know each other now, from the depression he suffered as a part of the accident, to the trouble you have with your self-esteem.
I swallow then because it’s true. In the last few months, the alpha male and I have grown close, so close that I feel I can see the inside of his soul sometimes. And vice versa. I think Trent knows the contours of my personality, all my foibles and weird hang-ups, so well now that it’s like we’re an old married couple. Except, we’re actually two teens going at it night after night, enjoying each other’s bodies as my parents snooze upstairs.
And for a moment, his head turns just a fraction, meeting my eyes. Heat flares in the space between us. I freeze, unable to move, my heart beating rapidly. But then the moment’s gone as Trent turns forward again because they’re calling his name.
“Now ladies and gentlemen, let’s give a special round of applause for Mr. Lewis,” announces the dean in a solemn voice, breaking from form. “As you all know, Karen and Bob Lewis were treasured members of the Sunnyside High community, acting as boosters for the football team and generous contributors to the library fund. Trent lost them both earlier this year, but son, you have made us proud in the face of incredible odds. By persevering in the face of daunting odds, Sunnyside captured the State Championship this year, which hasn’t been done since the 1980’s!” Dean Kressler bellows. “Let’s give a special round of applause to Trent Jacob Lewis, Class of 2018!”
And the field erupts with cheers and applause because that’s just who my lover is. People adore the handsome man with bright blue eyes and wave of black hair falling over one eye. Every woman over the age of eighteen is eyeing that massive form as he bounds up the stairs, shaking hands with Dean Kressler before striding across the stage with that cocky grin. Some jocks take up a chant then.
“Trent, you da man!” they bellow. “You da, you da, you da MAN!”
Of course, the rest of the ceremony is nothing compared to what just happened. When my own name is called out just a few minutes later, there’s polite applause as “Janie Rose Martin” is announced. But I smile cheerily and wave towards the audience, trying to spy my mom and dad. Of course, the only thing I see is Trent’s broad shoulders already back in the grass seating area. Even as a girl tries to talk to him, one side of his lips quirks into a smile and he salutes me, never taking his eyes away from mine.
My heart beats like a butterfly in my chest because suddenly, I know what I have to do. This morning’s words weren’t the utterings of some dumb teenage boy trying to get into my pants. The alpha wasn’t just saying “I love you” in the hopes that it’d make my panties slither off that much faster. In fact, the opposite. My panties were already long gone. Many times after my nightly shower, I don’t even put them on anymore, merely stepping into bed with the sheets sliding against my smooth skin before he appears.
So somehow I know, deep inside, that the handsome man loves me. And as I stare into those bright blue eyes at this moment, my heart leaps, our souls connecting across the expanse. This is the man for me, and I need to tell him that I love him too because he deserves to hear it. No one likes to say “I love you,” only to be faced with silence from the other side. So I’m going to complete the circle and reciprocate with my heart in my hands, offering the best of me to this compelling man.
Of course, we’re going our separate ways come fall, Trent to State and me to a liberal arts college nearby. But we’ll work it out somehow. With the depths of our feeling for one another, a long-distance relationship is nothing. After everything that’s happened, I know that the sixty miles or so is only a small hurdle along the road.
So after the ceremony ends, I keep an eye on the big man. There’s no sense in leaping into his arms and shouting out the words, although that’s in fact what I want to do. Instead, I need to find the right place and right time to utter my “I love you” where the words will drop like song from my lips, enveloped and caressed by his soul in turn. So I watch with a gentle smile as Trent makes his way over to my parents, shaking Vincent’s hand while Elaine beams.
“Good job,” I can almost hear my dad saying. “Congratulations, son.”
“We’re so proud of you,” burbles Elaine with a wide smile. They almost sound like delighted parents, but I guess it makes sense since Trent has been staying with us for months now. I pick my way over, careful not to let my heels sink too deeply into the semi-damp grass until I’m standing within the golden circle of my family.
“Oh honey,” says my mom, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “You were wonderful up there. I’m so proud of you.” Of course, I did nothing except walk across the stage and shake Dean Kressler’s hand, but I smile broadly.
“Thanks,” is my gentle murmur, stealing a short glance at Trent. “Congratulations to you, too.”
He’s just about to say something when my dad claps him on the back.
“So are we ready for the big reveal? Today’s the big day,” he chortles, “and I don’t think I can keep the secret to myself anymore.”
I shrug while smiling at my handsome lover again.
“Why, what is it?” I ask. “Can’t wait to hear. Wait, are you guys all in this except me?” are my slightly puzzled words. “What’s going on?”
Elaine’s so happy that there her eyes are shiny and bright.
“Oh honey,” she burbles. “We only just found out last night, and wanted to tell you except you know how Daddy always falls asleep during the nightly news cast when we watch in bed,” she says, casting a rueful look at my dad. “So we didn’t get a chance, and then everyone was so busy this morning getting ready for the graduation ceremony.”
I pin all three of them with a look, my hands sassily perched on my hips.
“Okay, what is it?” I say in a teasing voice. “Is it that we’re going to Waffle Farm to celebrate? You know how I wanted to go there, except it wasn’t ‘nice’ enough for our graduation lunch,” I say with a mock frown. Because Waffle Farm has the most delicious triple-stack pancakes with real maple-butter syrup. That’s syrup that tastes both like maple and butter. What could be better? Today was our day to celebrate, and I wanted to rejoice with a mouthful of the good stuff.
But Trent shakes his head then, interrupting.
“No, I mean yes,” he says, stumbling over the words. This, in and of itself, is strange because usually he’s so sure of himself. “It’s not what you think, Janie,” he says quickly, those blue eyes pleading with me a little. “Just hear us out.”
Now warning bells are going off in my head and I mock frown at them, hands still on my wide hips.
“What is going on here?” I demand. “That maple butter syrup is calling my name, so it better be good.”
My dad chortles again, his big belly shaking.
“What’s going on is that Trent got a fifty percent scholarship to go to State,” he almost bellows, clapping my lover on his back. “Good job son!”
“That’s awesome!” I chime in, bewildered. “But we knew that already, so what else is there? Am I missing something?”
Trent opens his mouth to speak again, but this time it’s Elaine who interrupts.
“Oh honey,” she says. “Well, we knew that Trent had a scholarship, and that his parents left money to him in trust. But you see, that money isn’t available to Trent until his twenty-first birthday. So in order to access it, he needed legal guardians, and me and Daddy are it!” she beams. “As of yesterday, we’re Trent’s legal guardians!”
I stand stock still for a moment, heart beating like a drum as I try to process the information.
“Wait, so Trent has money to go to school from his parents,” are my slow words. “I totally get it. But he can’t access the money for three years?”
“That’s right,” chirps my mom, casting my lover with an adoring look. “So Daddy and I were asked to step in. After all, Trent’s been living with us for almost half a year now, and we’re practically parents to him already,” she says, swinging merry blue eyes my way. “We’re now Trent’s legal guardians, and we can access and use the money to pay Trent’s tuition for college.”
But still, this isn’t completely computing in my head. The synapses are firing, but not everything’s in place quite yet.
“Hold on a sec,” I say, looking between the three parties. My parents are practically bursting with vivacity while Trent throws me another pleading look. “So if you’re Trent’s legal guardians now, that means that he’s my … adoptive brother?”
“Janie,” comes that low voice, his blue eyes begging me to understand. “It’s not like that.”
“Well, yes, it is,” interrupts my mom merrily again, suspecting nothing. “After all, the two of you have been living under the same roof for the last couple months. It was so sad with your parents’ passing,” she says, turning to Trent with a sympathetic look, “and we’re just happy that we could be there for you. Especially Janie,” she says, shooting me a pointed look. “Janie’s been bugging me for a sibling since she was five, and maybe I couldn’t deliver then, but never count me and Daddy out!” Elaine giggles, taking my dad’s arm and squeezing. “We’ve found a brother for you finally!”
I feel like slapping my mom. She has no idea what she’s saying, but as if in a nightmare, the land mines just keep coming.
“That’s right,” adds my dad. “Trent, I’d be so proud if you called me “Dad” from here on out and Elaine “Mom.” We talked about this last night,” he says, exchanging a meaningful look with my mother, “and it feels right on every level. We’re one happy family, and now we have both a daughter and a son,” he says, almost overflowing with cheer. “What could be better?”
I’m standing there shocked, my mouth literally open and my eyes wide. Holy shit. Because this train has not only jumped the tracks, but it’s barreled over the bridge and is about two seconds away from colliding with a mountain. No, scratch that. It’s already collided with a mountain, and all that’s left is a steaming wreckage, the passengers strewn about bloody and dazed.
Trent sees my expression and grabs my arm.
“Janie,” he says hoarsely. “We’re not really siblings.”
“Of course you are,” rumbles my dad, big belly shaking left and right. “Trent, you mean as much to us as the daughter we birthed, and we will treat the two of you equally going forwards,” he announces. “So legally, as well as emotionally, you are our child now as well as Janie’s brother. Although we’d never try and take your parents’ places,” he adds quickly. “Of course that’s sacred.”
And I can’t take it anymore. Casting Trent another horrified look, my face probably looking like the central character from Edward Munch’s The Scream, I turn and run. I don’t care what my parents’ motivations are. I don’t care how much good will or well-meaning intentions there are behind this development. All I know is that I’m in love with my adopted brother, and that he’s in love with me. Not just that, but we’ve been sampling each other’s bodies for months now, my adoptive brother’s semen dripping from my pussy night after night.
So I bolt away, uncaring if other students and families turn to stare at me. What the hell? How can I be caught in this fucking Twilight Zone episode? Today was supposed to be a celebration. I’d finally leave this hellhole of a high school and start a new life sixty miles away. I’d finally leave the chubby, shy Janie Martin persona, and become a sassy, curvy brunette who’s confident and sure of herself. And all of this because I’d finally found true love in the arms of Trent Lewis.
But that’s been turned on its head because my one true love is my adopted brother. What the hell? Feeling nauseous, I rush into the darkened gym, grateful for the silence and solitude. My eyes struggle to adjust after the bright sunlight, and I’m blinking like a blind mole rat for a moment. And letting out an agonized scream, the pain descends once more, and I cower beneath the bleachers. Forget the simile of a blind mole rat. I am that blind mole rat, keening to myself in the solitude while gripping my stomach because it hurts so bad.
Suddenly, a low voice startles me.
“Janie,” comes that raspy growl. I’d recognize it everywhere because it’s whispered into my ear night after night now, making me shiver and moan. “Please listen to me,” he rasps.
I lift disbelieving eyes to him.
“You knew,” is my accusation. “You knew all along that this was happening!”
The blue gaze remains steady.
“Yes, I knew,” Trent says slowly. “I knew that your parents were preparing an application to be my legal guardians, and that I had no access to my family’s estate until I was twenty-one. So yes, I knew. But I didn’t know if it was ever going to happen. You know how probate court is. That shit takes forever, and honestly, we didn’t know if it was going to happen in time, if ever at all.”
But the words skim over my consciousness because I’m still reeling from hurt and horror.
“You knew,” is all I can say again in a broken whisper. “We were sleeping together all this time, and you knew that you might become my brother.”
That makes Trent inhale sharply, his blue eyes flashing for a moment.
“Don’t say that,” is his fierce growl. “It’s not like we’re really siblings. We’re not blood-related, and shit, if my parents hadn’t died, we wouldn’t be related at all. It’s just because of this stupid provision in their will.”
I shake my head, closing my lids for a moment before they snap back open, still accusing.
“But it’s wrong,” is my raw whisper, “and you knew the entire time.”
Trent runs a weary hand over his face, and for the first time, I realize how much he’s aged in the past six months. Sure, he’s still that cocky, handsome football player that I fell in love with. But suddenly, he’s also an alpha to be reckoned with, someone who’s felt the weight of the world on his shoulders what with his parents’ death and now this cruel turn of events.
“It’s not that bad,” he rumbles fiercely once more. “You’re being dramatic.”
That sets me off and I clutch at his shirt then.
“I’m being dramatic?” is my ear-splitting shriek. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been fucking non-stop for at least three months now while my parents sleep upstairs! Every time I get up to go to school in the morning, it’s your spunk dripping from my pussy! I fell in love with you!” is my breathless shriek, the volume going up with every word. “You made me fall in love with you, and now … now … now this!”
But that’s all Trent needs to hear because the moment I utter the word “love,” his mouth crashes down on mine. The kiss is so devastating and consuming that immediately I’m swept into a whirlpool of turmoil mixed with desire.
“Unnh!” is my muffled groan as he kisses the daylights out of me. “Ohhh!”
But Trent won’t relent. He pulls back for a moment, those blue eyes fierce.
“We love each other,” he rasps. “You and me, Janie. We fell in love despite of everything, and we’ll make it work.”
And somehow, I know that Trent’s speaking the truth. Because the alpha is determined with fire burning in his eyes. So I give into the maelstorm then and succumb to his kiss, melting into those strong arms. I need this man despite the fact that our world is in turmoil right now … and despite the fact that through a strange and sudden turn of events, he’s become my adopted brother.