LATE SUNDAY MORNING, I slid behind our breakfast bar and grinned at Bill.
“You’re in a good mood,” he said cautiously.
“I’m going to the shelter.”
“Great, babe, you haven’t been in forever.”
“Come with me.”
“Nah, you go have fun. I should catch up on some stuff.”
“Come on,” I prodded. “It will be fun. We can get lunch after.”
“I don’t think so. Sounds nice, but I really can’t blow this off,” he said, waving an overstuffed folder in my direction.
“But you’ve never even been.”
“Well, that’s because I’m swamped,” he said angrily. “There are no breaks when it comes to this job. And because of the fishing trip, I have to get as much done as possible this week.”
“All right.” I held up my palms in defeat and bent over to lace up my tennis shoes. “I just think you’d enjoy it. You work so much.”
“So do you.”
“I know,” I called from below. “But I’m going to try and cut back, now that I’m more settled in this promotion.”
“You know I don’t have that option. The partners expect us to bust our asses.”
I sat back up. “Okay. I get it. I’m going to go then. Don’t work too hard.”
He kissed my forehead and tossed the folder on the kitchen table. “I’ll try not to.”
Twenty minutes and five M83 songs later, I had arrived at my destination. The manager, George, greeted me with a warm smile and told me they’d missed me the past few months. He set me up with an older golden Labrador mix, who lovingly nudged me with her snout when I asked if she was ready for her walk.
Out front, I threw my hair into a quick ponytail and led her toward the park. I pulled my phone out twice on the way, only to put it away again. Finally, I took it out a last time and opened the text message David had sent me the day before.
Sep 15, 2012 3:30 PM
Meet us in the park tomorrow.
I hadn’t responded, and now I bit my nail nervously as I stared at it.
Sep 16, 2012 12:22 PM
How was the zoo?
As soon as I had sent it, I cringed. My nerves flared, knotting my stomach and causing me to pull hard on my earlobe. What was I thinking? And what if he had brought Dani after all? What if he didn’t want to see me? Why should I care if he did or didn’t?
Sep 16, 2012 12:25 PM
Chaotic. Are you in LP?
Sep 16, 2012 12:26 PM
Yes.
Sep 16, 2012 12:28 PM
Come to the Lily Pool, Fullerton entrance. On my way.
I looked down at the dog. “Don’t judge me,” I told her.
At the gates to Alfred Caldwell Lily Pool, we waited. My heart rate accelerated when I saw David in the distance. As soon as he spotted me, his long legs moved in considerably quicker strides. His muscles stretched a short-sleeved black t-shirt. I stole a glance at his brawny, bronzed legs, wondering how he was able to maintain such a stellar tan.
“Hey,” he said, a smile spreading across his handsome face.
I squinted up and returned his smile. “Hey.”
“Who’s this?”
“Sofie from the shelter.”
“Hello, Sofie from the shelter.” He crouched down and took the dog’s head in his hands, scratching behind her ears. “Canyon’s with us, they can play.”
“She’s sort of old.”
“Canyon too. Have you been inside?” he asked, motioning to the Lily Pool.
“No.” I looked at him sheepishly. “I’ve walked by but never noticed it. I had to look it up on my phone,” I admitted.
He took the leash from me and looped it around the nearest tree. “Come inside with me. Sofie’ll be fine here for a minute.” With a hand on my shoulder, he guided me through the gates and into a peaceful, rustic oasis. A sprawling pond was dotted with floating lily pads and bordered by large stone slabs.
“Wow,” I muttered. “Are we still in Chicago?”
He grinned. “I come here to cool off when I get pissed.”
The leaves rustled with a breeze, carrying the soothing water lily scent under our noses. I inhaled a fresh breath of air, and the wind danced in my hair. I could feel the city fading in the background as we stood together, soaking in the serenity.
“This reminds me of the house,” I mused aloud. “The Oak Park house,” I clarified.
“This park was designed in the prairie style, just like the house – notice the same horizontal lines. Alfred Caldwell was an architectural landscaper who was influenced by Frank Lloyd Wright. They both loved nature and knew how to incorporate it to make the space come alive.”
As I had been in the house, I was arrested by the way he spoke. His love for architecture was inspiring, and I listened avidly as he recited a quick history of the Lily Pond’s recent restoration.
“A lush, green sanctuary modeled after this would be perfect in the backyard,” he said as we exited.
“I told you we didn’t get it, though.”
“I meant that it would have been perfect.”
“Oh.” I untied Sofie and took off along the path, rapt as David dropped facts here and there about the park.
“Liv!” I heard from ahead of us.
“I forgot to mention,” David muttered, “your friend Brian Ayers is here.”
“Why?”
“Sometimes we run Lakefront on the weekends. I knew he’d be around, so I invited him to eat with us.”
Brian waved at me as he ran over in basketball shorts and a sleeveless tank. A lock of long blond hair fell into his eyes, and his toothy grin stretched from ear to ear. “We must stop meeting like this,” he teased, referring to the first time we’d met. He was dressed exactly the same as that day, when the shelter dog I’d been walking had knocked me off my feet. Brian had rushed over to help me up, giving me an adorable smile that only deepened my embarrassing blush.
“Ah, sure,” I stammered, not ready to admit I’d been invited.
Brian laid a heavy arm over my shoulders. “Come on, the grill’s already fired up.”
“Mom, look! A Lab!” A young boy came running over, and David leaped forward.
“Hang on, buddy,” he said. “What did I tell you about big dogs? Nice and easy, let her smell you first.”
The boy slowed and held out his hand to Sofie. He beamed when she sniffed and licked it.
I identified David’s family immediately from my brief moment of Internet stalking. David’s sister introduced herself with a bright smile and a sturdy handshake. I liked her instantly. She looked about my age, younger than David, but warm brown eyes gave her sharpness away. “Is this your pup?” she asked.
“No, she’s from a shelter nearby. I volunteer there some weekends.”
Her smile widened. “I like you already. We’re a family of animal lovers. Mom,” she called behind her, “come meet a friend of David’s.”
I looked nervously at David’s retreating figure as he took Sofie over to Canyon. A petite black-haired woman glided toward us, wiping her hands on the seat of her jeans. She looked mildly confused, but wrapped me in a tight hug and said, “I’m Judy.”
“Olivia Germaine,” I replied when she’d released me.
“Gerard, come meet a friend of David’s,” she called over her shoulder, never taking her eyes off me. I had to stifle a laugh. I was beginning to feel like I’d just landed in a spaceship.
David’s dad had the same rigid bearing as him, and he commanded that I sit down at the picnic table in the same tone that David would have. Jessa had a plate of fruit in front of me in moments, and I didn’t know who I should look at as they all stared at me.
David appeared suddenly and fell onto the bench next to me. He handed me a bottle of water. “You should always carry water when you’re exercising. It’s important to stay hydrated,” he said, his tone edged with a scolding.
I opened my mouth to thank him when Jessa cut in. “So how do you two know each other?” she asked, looking between us.
“Mutual friend.”
“Work.”
I laughed nervously as David and I exchanged glances.
“Olivia here was the one who put us in the Most Eligible issue,” Brian offered.
“Oh!” Jessa exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “I’m so glad David finally agreed to do it. He looked so handsome,” she gushed. “You did a wonderful job.”
“I actually didn’t work with David, my colleague did, but I agree. She did a great job,” I said, clearing my throat self-consciously.
“I see.” Jessa smiled mischievously.
“David, sweetie, you never said – has anything come of it?” Judy asked. Her eyes darted conspicuously between him and me.
“Uh, no, not really.”
“Come on, Fish, we both had a ton of responses,” Brian volunteered. “Didn’t you take any of them out?”
“No,” David snapped. “I don’t need a magazine article to find dates.”
“No one said you did,” Jessa pointed out. “You’re being rude.”
By now, I was sure that I was beet red. “It’s okay. David was candid about what he expected from the article. My boss was more than pleased to feature him anyway.”
David gave me an apologetic look as his parents excused themselves to check on the grill. I watched Judy loop her arm around Gerard’s lower back, and he gave her an adoring smile. It had been some time since I’d seen any of my friends’ parents looking so smitten; even at Lucy’s wedding, her normally affectionate parents had seemed frazzled.
“So was it intentional that the issue came out on David’s birthday?” Jessa teased.
“Come on,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“No.” I broke into a smile. “I had no idea.”
Jessa nodded her head emphatically. “June twenty-second. What’s your sign, Olivia?”
“Jessa,” David warned.
“I’m a Taurus. May twentieth.”
“Oh.” She was quiet for a moment. “That’s interesting.”
“How come?”
“Don’t ask,” David said. “She’s into this astrology bullshit.”
“David is a Cancer.”
“Like my friend Gretchen,” I said.
Brian laughed to himself. “That explains a lot,” he muttered with his chin in his hand.
“Brian, did something happen between you and Gretchen?” I asked.
“Oh.” He looked up. “No, nothing at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you asking me to kiss and tell, missy?”
“So there was a kiss?” I exclaimed.
He looked embarrassed. “It was very brief. I stopped it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Why? Don’t you find her attractive?”
“Exceptionally. We aren’t well-suited though. She seems to have something to prove. And that’s not me.”
I shrugged at his cryptic answer and turned my attention back to Jessa. “So why is it interesting that I’m a Taurus?”
“It’s not that,” she mused, touching a finger to her lips. “Both you and David are on the cusp of your signs. In fact, you’re both on the cusp of Gemini.”
“Is being on the cusp bad?” I asked.
“No, no. But two Gemini together can be, well, explosive. Volatile. Not usually a good combination. On the other hand, Cancer and Taurus is a great match.”
“Oh.” I smiled at her before glancing over at David. “Well, we’re not . . .”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “You’re not?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head in confusion. I looked to David for backup, but he was stoic as he stared at his sister. “I’m married,” I said, holding up my hand. All four pairs of eyes dropped to my ring, and her face fell instantly.
“Oh,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry, I just assumed . . . Crap, I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay, no big deal,” I said with a reassuring smile.
“Uncle David!”
David bolted upright, knocking his knee on the table and cursing. He shot us a quick look before jogging over to the boy. Brian shifted uneasily. After a moment, he mumbled an excuse and took off after David.
“Well this is uncomfortable,” Jessa said.
“Not even, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s hard to keep track of all his girlfriends.”
She cocked her head at me, and my hand flew to my mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to imply anything. Just that he’s so charming, I’m sure he’s had many girlfriends.”
Jessa released a fluid, heartfelt laugh. “Don’t worry, I know David’s something of a ladies’ man. But ‘girlfriends’ is the wrong word.” I waited for her to continue, but she just popped a grape in her mouth and looked over to the grass.
“Is that your son?”
“Alex – sorry I didn’t introduce you.”
“It’s okay, he’s busy. How old is he?”
“Just turned ten.”
I nodded and watched as David scooped him up effortlessly and spun him around until Alex started screaming. As soon as he released him, the kid stumbled sideways and fell to the ground laughing. David leaned his hands on his knees and said something to Brian, who burst into laughter. David’s head swung in our direction then, a carefree smile plastered on his face. He really was blindingly beautiful when he smiled, especially when it was directed right at me.
“I’m surprised.”
“I’m sorry?” I asked, reluctantly breaking from my adulation.
“That you’re married. You and David seem to have a connection. I certainly haven’t seen him look at someone like that . . . ever.”
My breath rushed from my lungs. I fingered the hem of my spandex tank top, trying unsuccessfully to avoid her stare.
“Brian has the idea that your being here today is a coincidence. Is it?” Her eyes were alive with questions, and I was afraid of the answers she might read in mine. I felt scarily close to confessing everything to her; she seemed so warm and understanding and disconnected from my life. I grasped at words, opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish.
Judy appeared suddenly, rescuing me from any spontaneous confessions. “Hot dog or burger, girls?”
“Burger for me,” Jessa chimed.
I nodded my agreement.
“Two burgers,” Judy called to her husband, and she climbed onto the bench. She sat up straight, brushing dark hair off her shoulder and flashing a colossal ring that dominated her slender fingers. “So, Olivia, where are you from?”
“I grew up in Dallas, but I moved here after college.”
“Oh? You don’t strike me as Southern girl.”
“I get that a lot,” I said with a laugh.
“Where’d you go to school?”
“Notre Dame. Your husband went there, right?” I recalled my conversation with David the last time we’d had burgers. “My dad too.”
“How funny!” she exclaimed. “Ger, Olivia here went to Notre Dame.”
Gerard brightened visibly and called, “A fellow Leprechaun! That’s my girl!”
I couldn’t help but smile back at his enthusiasm.
“We tried to get David to go there, but for some reason he chose Yale instead,” she said, laughing.
“You must be so proud of him. He’s done very well for himself.”
“We are, but we never had any doubt he would succeed. David has always excelled at the things he puts his mind to. He’s always been very motivated, sometimes to a fault.”
“It’s true,” Jessa said. “When we were in elementary school, he cried when he found out he could only receive the Student of the Month award once.”
I giggled into my hand just as the three boys descended on the table. Alex climbed up between me and Jessa, as David and Brian sat across from us.
“Who are you?” Alex asked.
“I’m Olivia.” I smiled down at him. “Nice to, um, meet you,” I said, wondering if I should offer my hand.
He made a sputtering noise with his lips, sending spittle onto my top.
“Alex,” Jessa scolded. “That’s not polite.”
“It’s fine,” I said, waving him off. “He can’t possibly get more saliva on me than Sofie already has.”
Alex gave me a narrow-eyed look before grasping an iPad from the table and diving into it. What was that for?
“Watch this,” David said. “Alex.”
“Huh,” Alex snorted, his fingers gliding across the screen expertly.
“How old are you?”
“Huh.”
“Where do you go to school?”
“Huh.”
“Alex.”
“Huh.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
He jerked his head up. “No way, yuck,” he exclaimed before returning his eyes to the screen.
We laughed. David was a good uncle, that much was obvious. It hit me that perhaps he liked children and wanted some of his own one day.
“Come and get it,” Gerard said, indicating to the barbeque.
I went to stand, but David waved me down. “Burger?” he asked, and I nodded. He left the table, clapped his dad on the back and loaded our burgers onto two plates.
Brian fixed his twinkling eyes on me just as David set my plate down. “Ah, the question of the hour. What does the mysterious Olivia Germaine take on her burger? Can I guess?”
With all eyes on me, I nodded. He rubbed his hands together.
“Ketchup,” he said, moving the bottle in front of me. “Because red is the color of love.” He paused, and David rolled his eyes before taking off almost half his burger in one bite.
“Not onions,” Brian murmured, “for that would make her lovely eyes cry.” I blushed furiously as Jessa giggled. “And sauerkraut is much too sour for such a sweet creature.” He hummed to himself as he looked over the offerings. “Yes to relish, because I know she has a naughty side.” He winked at me. David was openly glaring at Brian now, and Jessa watched her brother intently. “To top it off, lettuce, extra crispy, and a touch of mayo. How’d I do?”
I was about to respond when David swallowed his food and cut me off. “Wrong. Ketchup, mustard, pickles, tomatoes.”
“Yep.” I smiled and emptied some ketchup onto my patty. He remembered. “David wins.”
“Bummer.”
“Dude,” David said, “what the fuck is naughty about relish?”
Brian looked thoughtful. “Haven’t you ever relished a lady?”
“Boys,” Judy admonished, gesturing at Alex.
“You just pulled that out of your ass,” David mumbled and Brian grinned, seemingly pleased with his quick wit.
I sighed happily. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been to a family barbeque, and I was enjoying the warmth of the Dylans’ bubble. When it came time for me to go, I was reluctant. I thanked them for their hospitality while David brought Sofie and Canyon over.
“I’ll walk you,” he said, fisting both leashes.
I nodded and turned to wave once more at the group.
“He’s gorgeous,” I said, stooping to run a hand along Canyon’s black and tan fur. “I wanted a German Shepherd when I was younger.”
“I’d get one of my own if I could.”
“I’ve never had a dog,” I said wistfully. “My dad didn’t have the time or patience to take care of one. But I love them.” I sighed.
“Everything all right?” he asked.
“Yes. You’re great with Alex.”
David shifted the leashes from one hand to the other. “He makes it easy.”
“I like your family.”
“They like you too.”
“You don’t know that,” I teased, bumping him with my shoulder and then withdrawing, embarrassed by the contact rush.
“Of course I do. I never would’ve invited you if I didn’t think they would.”
“Okay,” I accepted, because I desperately wanted it to be true. That this lovely family might think I was a good person meant a great deal to me. When David’s and my naked and entangled bodies flashed before my eyes, the blood drained from my face. Good people don’t cheat on their husbands, I reminded myself. I held my hand out for the leash. “I have to go.”
“Thank you for coming. I’m glad you did.”
I held up my open hand before turning and retreating down the path.
I was also glad that I’d gone. There was an element of the afternoon that had been long missing in my life. Any time spent with David seemed to emphasize the things that hadn’t been there before. Simplicity. Effortlessness. And on the other end of the spectrum, passion. I’d learned today that the passion between us didn’t only live between the sheets. It was a different kind of passion, but it was there. The desire to be around him, to feed off his energy. When he wasn’t next to me, I longed for him. I thought about it all the way home with a smile.
When I got back to the apartment, I wiped the arrogant grin off my face. Bill glanced up to greet me before turning back to his paperwork. Remembering the other night in his office, it occurred to me that Bill and I didn’t have a very passionate relationship. It was loving and stable. But Bill wasn’t the type to get passionate about much, except maybe sports. And even then, it was passive in its own way.
I had seen what passion could do to a relationship. My mother had been irrational, senseless when it came to my father. She let her emotions dictate her life, and that had ultimately driven their marriage into the ground.
I’d never questioned which way was the right way before. I’d always known I would choose reliability and stability over the alternative. The alternative meant a lifetime of mess; fights, pain, insecurity. I tried not to picture that kind of life with David as I watched Bill at the kitchen table. Could David even be faithful to one person? Did the spark between us come from him, because it was the type of person he was? And did that mean everyone felt it in his presence?
Sure, for two people with as much heat as we had, there was bound to be mess. It was inevitable. But there’d also be intensity, craving, impatience. There would be passion.