Grace

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The walk to sociology is extra long today, and not just because I had stats on the other end of campus. It’s because I’m dreading seeing Tommy.

My research partner…what a disaster. How am I going to get anything done when I’m sitting next to those muscled shoulders and arms? Maybe I can convince him to wear baggy sweatpants and a parka every day to class so I don’t have to look at him. But that doesn’t solve the issue of his male model face. Maybe I can get him a Yoda mask.

I’m sticking to my guns though. I don’t care what he says or how many sneaky glances he shoots at my tits. Shannon talked sense into me and I know what I have to do. I even did something this morning to guarantee I don’t give into my primal desires when I get to class. I masturbated in the shower.

It’s been a while since I did that, but I knew I had to get my hormones under control somehow. I’ve never really been into doing that regularly. My friend Kelly back home was way into porn and sex toys and loved telling us all about what we should be doing and what ones we should buy.

You could say I’m the complete opposite of that.

I’ve never been into porn and the most I think I’ve ever masturbated in one week is twice. It’s not like I’m some sort of prude – I just want intimacy. I want another human being, that cares about me, to caress me and touch me and explore my body while I explore his and I want to know we’re both doing it together.

But I woke up this morning and knew something had to be done.

I know guys sometimes wake up with morning wood, and I guess I woke up with the lady equivalent. My hormones were taking over like an invading foreign army and Tommy was leading the charge. If I didn’t do something before sociology I think I might have just let him take me right there in the lecture hall in front of everybody.

So I grabbed my towel, headed to the shower, praying he wasn’t in there like before, and took care of business.

I tried not to picture him while I did it. I tried not to think about anyone or anything and just focus on myself. It was a job that needed to be done and that was it. I got a couple of flashes of his naked body and that monster hanging between his legs, and almost gave up out of frustration. But eventually, I was able to get myself there without too many X-rated thoughts about Tommy.

I consider it a small victory.

But there’s only so much a little tickle in the shower by yourself can do to suppress your urges, and mine are starting to come back as I walk across campus. I’m starting to debate actually skipping, but that’s not a longterm solution, and I don’t want to miss the second day of class. What would my professor think?

No, this is something I need to start dealing with. I have an entire semester to get through. I grit my teeth and try to think about nothing as I finish my walk to the sociology building. I funnel into the hallway with the rest of the students, my eyes darting through the crowd for Tommy’s broad shoulders. But I don’t see him.

I step into the lecture hall with everyone else and find a seat close to the one I had last time and take a deep breath. It feels hot in here, but it’s probably just me. My heart isn’t racing, but it’s definitely warming up for an event.

The rest of the class filters in and I check my phone. Three minutes until start.

Where is he!?

A girl who looks like she just rolled out of bed with a hangover tries to take the seat beside me, but I stop her. “Sorry, my partner’s sitting here.”

She looks at me with that, “seriously?” look, but turns around and takes a seat by the wall. I take a deep breath and check my phone. Class is about to start and he’s not here! Someone takes the seat on the other side of me and I set my bag on the empty chair to my left. I don’t know why I think it’s necessary for him to sit next to me. We won’t be doing research while class is going on.

And then Professor Gengris walks in.

“Hello, hello, hello,” she says confidently, setting her bag down on the large table at the head of the hall. “Everyone having a good start to the year? Studying hard, I’m sure? Staying in, getting your work done?”

That draws some laughs throughout the hall. Half the freshman look lost and the other half look like they’re still drunk.

“Okay, I’ll go easy on you today,” she says. She starts talking about immigration and groups that have come to the United States and why, but I’m zoning out.

Where is he?!

My hand tightens around my pen as I absentmindedly take down the notes from the board. After all that’s been on my mind, how nervous I’ve been to come to class today, and he doesn’t even show up? What a dick!

Such a superstar move. Tommy Mason doesn’t need to go to class. Why would he? I’m starting to get the full picture now. I’m sure the school has told all the professors to go easy on him. He’s a star basketball player on his way to the pros. There’s no way they’re going to risk losing him because of a bad grade in sociology. I roll my eyes. No wonder he thinks he’s the king. And what’s worse, I realize, is that this means I’ll be doing the research paper by myself.

I feel the anger rising inside me, but I realize it’s probably a good thing. Maybe this will be exactly what I need to make sure I don’t give in to Tommy and stick to my guns. The more he pisses me off, the easier it will be. Right?

But I wonder…what is he doing right now?