Unsanctioned Activities

On Friday night, I have to drive myself to Jiffy Burger.

Normally I’d grab a ride with Levi, but he had his Tennessean interview in Nashville, so he said he’d meet me there.

“Dad, can’t you take me? I don’t want to drive.”

My father passes me the keys. “Drive with confidence.”

“Drive with confidence? I don’t even know what that means.”

“Don’t go too slow, don’t go too fast. Drive confidently.”

“You’re no help.”

“Levi and I can’t drive you around forever,” Dad says with a kind smile.

“Maybe I’ll start riding a bike.”

“Coach Josh would kill you. And then steal your bike.”

It’s true. My coach is so afraid I’ll hurt myself doing some unsanctioned activity, he’d probably get mad if I played Monopoly. I could get a hand cramp while counting fake money or something.

“Fine, but if I wreck the car, it is all your fault,” I tell Dad, giving him an evil look and a kiss good-bye. I jingle the keys as I walk to his car, a red Honda Accord. As far as cars go, this is as safe as it gets. It’s not like it’s a tiny, speedy Ferrari or a cumbersome Range Rover. It’s a sedan. I can do this. I take a deep breath. Open the door.

Sliding inside, I adjust the front seat and snap on my seat belt. I yank on it a few times to test it. I triple check I’ve put the car in reverse instead of drive so I don’t floor it into the house again.

The speed limit down the four-lane road is forty miles per hour, but that is way too fast. I hover around twenty-five. Cars keep honking at me as they pass. I’m tempted to flip them off, but there is no way I can take my hands off the ten and two position.

Somebody honks to my left. I glance over to see two guys from school making fun of my driving. Both of them have their hands at the nine and three position and are sitting up straight like rods. Jerks.

I pull into the Jiffy Burger lot and try to park between two cars. Turning the steering wheel over and over, I repeatedly hit the wrong angle. Somebody honks their horn at me. I honk back and yell, “Hold your horses!” even though they can’t hear me.

I decide to give up on the spot closer to the entrance. I drive around the back of the building, pull the car into a spot, put it in park, close my eyes, and take a deep breath.

I send Dad a text: I made it, but barely!!!!!!!

Next I send Coach Josh a message: My dad made me drive. Can this be an unsanctioned activity please?

Outside of the car, I discover my parking job is horrendous. I’m straddling a white line, taking up two spaces. I’m surprised I didn’t somehow take up three. Can driver’s licenses be revoked for piss-poor parking jobs?

I pocket my keys and head inside.

My phone buzzes. Coach wrote back: I’ll talk to him.

I smile smugly. Coach Josh takes my swimming career very seriously and wouldn’t want me to do anything to hurt myself or make myself any more stressed than I already am. Ha. Take that, Dad.

When I look up, a man is sitting in our usual booth. He’s wearing dark jeans, a gray Henley, brown boots with the laces undone, and a black knit cap. I haven’t seen his face, but from behind I can tell he has a nice body. And damn, the urges come rushing back. My mind wanders to condoms and bananas. My blood heats up, imagining hooking up with the stranger. I suddenly need to fan myself.

Then the booth interloper looks over his shoulder and waves at me. Levi?

I march up to him. “Why are you wearing jeans and that shirt?”

He scowls down at his clothes. “Oma told Mom I was going to wear my sweats for the interview, and Mom flipped out.”

“Your outfit looks nice. I didn’t recognize you.”

Levi examines my face. “Why are you all flushed?”

“Dad made me drive myself,” I say, and Levi goes, “Ohhh.”

He buys my “driving made me nervous” excuse, but it isn’t exactly true. I can’t say I’m blushing because I was daydreaming about fooling around with a stranger…who turned out to be him. Am I going nuts? Breathing pool fumes has finally caught up with me.

I sit down next to him on our side of the booth, more aware of him than usual: How close his arm is to mine. How I can smell that cedar shampoo. How I’d like to snuggle up against that Henley.

“Maggie,” he says loudly.

I startle. “Yeah?”

“I’ve been trying to get your attention. You want to split some fries?”

“Get your own fries.”

He grins and goes back to reading his menu.

“Why are you even looking at that? Don’t you have it memorized?” I ask.

“I was thinking about getting a strawberry shake instead of a chocolate one.”

I gasp. “Sacrilege. So, tell me about the interview.”

He shrugs. “I thought it was mainly going to be about swimming, but the reporter wanted to talk about my family.”

“What about them?”

“Like, how my mom supported me by taking me to practice early in the morning and stuff… The reporter asked about my dad.”

His father is always a rough subject. Levi’s dad left when he was two years old and never came back to Tennessee. And while Levi wants a relationship with his younger half brother and half sister, he truly dislikes his father and has never forgiven him for leaving. Levi’s mom has never dated again because she was so heartbroken over what happened. Levi even had his last name changed to his mother’s maiden name.

“Why did the reporter ask that?”

Levi rips his straw paper into pieces. “Because I’m going to Texas for college. He put two and two together.”

“How’d he know where your dad lives?”

“I guess he did some digging before the interview.”

I elbow him. “Wow, the reporter actually investigated you? I didn’t know you were interesting enough for that,” I say, to ease some of the tension coming from my friend.

“The reporter also asked about you.”

“What about me?”

“Whether I thought you’d get your Olympic trial cut.”

I clutch his wrist. “What did you say?”

He shrugs. “I said you’re the one to beat.”

I throw my arms around him, hugging him close. He makes a fake choking noise, which only makes me hug him harder.

“Am I interrupting something?” Georgia slides into her spot across the booth.

Releasing Levi, I feel my face flushing again. His face is a little red too.

“No, just talking about Levi’s interview,” I say, trying to act naturally. I certainly didn’t tell Hunter and Georgia about last Saturday night’s unsanctioned activities with Levi, and I doubt he did either.

Hunter arrives shortly after Georgia. We order food and start chattering away. All of us except for Georgia, that is.

Georgia unwraps her silverware and places her napkin in her lap, smoothing it. I give her a questioning look. You okay? I mouth at her.

“I have some news,” Georgia says, and Levi and Hunter stop talking about Hunter’s first preseason baseball game that’s coming up next week.

“David Cantor asked me out.”

I break out into a big smile. “Eeee!”

Hunter and Levi give each other looks.

“Don’t make faces,” Georgia pleads.

Levi replies, “I like how he always starts the morning announcements by saying what the cafeteria is serving for lunch.”

As student body president, David does the announcements every day.

“That’s all you have to say about him?” I say. “You like him because he talks about food?”

“Food’s important,” Levi says. He pointedly looks toward the kitchen for his burger and fries.

“Did you say yes?” Hunter asks Georgia.

“I haven’t decided yet. I wanted to know what you guys thought first.”

“Doesn’t matter what we think,” Levi says. “If you like him, you like him.”

“You could do better,” Hunter says, and Georgia’s face turns white.

“Don’t be a dick,” I say.

“Well, she could!” He turns to her. “You’re gorgeous and smart and nice. And David needs, like, two belts to keep his pants up.”

Our waitress arrives, balancing a tray full of food and doling it out to us. Hunter and Levi dig in and then tell the server thank you with their mouths full. Boys.

Georgia does not look happy. I can’t believe Hunter is being so unsupportive. Her self-esteem is already shot thanks to her mother. She doesn’t need that from her friends. Thinking of how excited she was in church last Sunday, I say, “I think David’s cute and confident. You don’t run for student body president if you don’t have cojones.”

“I’m eating here,” Levi says, chewing his burger. “I don’t want to hear about some dude’s balls.”

“Balls, balls, balls,” I say.

Georgia gives me a grateful smile.

Dinner is a little strained after that, and I’m happy when it’s over. After paying our checks, we leave the diner.

Levi glances around the front parking lot. “Where’s your car?”

“I parked out back.”

“It’s dark. I’ll make sure you get in the car okay.” After waving bye to Hunter and Georgia, I show Levi where Dad’s car is. He takes one look at my horrible parking job and decides I’m not driving again tonight. “I’ll drive you home. C’mon.”

He gently takes my elbow, sending shivers through me.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened when I arrived at Jiffy Burger a couple hours ago. For a second, I thought he was someone else, and I was very attracted to that someone else. Does that mean I’m attracted to him? He barely touched me just now and my body went off like fireworks.

“You’re being really quiet,” he says. “Are you okay?”

I clear my throat. “Of course.” I try to pretend I wasn’t reminiscing about kissing him last weekend. Thinking of it makes me a little light-headed. I roll my shoulders and stretch my arms.

“You tight?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Need some time in the hot tub?”

I know he means it in a therapeutic manner, but I have other ideas in mind. Not that I want to act on them. But I want to be in the same place as him. Maybe in case it happens again? Not that I want to force it. But if he wants to teach me some more lessons…I’d be okay with that. I know he enjoyed kissing me too—I felt him hard against my hip that night. Helping me learn to feel more comfortable in bed is not a hardship. Right?

At his house, Oma and Opa are watching a movie in the den while she knits and he reads the comics section of the newspaper. Levi’s mom still isn’t home from Nashville. I change into my suit I had in my bag in the car, a pretty pink and orange one-piece that Levi said he liked one time, and then I’m in the hot tub with him.

I can’t stop thinking about our kisses. I want more. It’s like craving a soft bed when you’re exhausted.

He stretches his arms on the back of the Jacuzzi and tilts his head to look at the stars. Normally he’s peaceful when we’re together like this, but tonight he keeps shifting his weight, causing water to spill over the side onto the deck. His eyes flicker to my mouth and hold there. That’s never happened before.

I bite down on my lip to distract myself from how much I want to make out. I bite until I can’t take it anymore. I glide through the water to sit closer to him.

Levi tenses. “What are you doing, Maggie?”

I press a light kiss to his neck. “I like what we did the other night.”

He sinks into me. “Me too.”

“Teach me more.”

His breathing speeds up as my lips nibble the skin beneath his ear. “I thought we already established that you don’t need lessons.”

“You decided that, but I really do need you to teach me. I totally bombed the condom race. If I can’t do right by a banana, how can I do it with a real guy?”

“Why me?” he asks. “You’re pretty. Lots of guys would be interested.”

I blush at his words—they definitely make me feel good. “I’m looking to explore,” I explain. “I want to fulfill my urges—”

“Mags, seriously, please stop talking about your urges.”

I swallow hard, working to find the right words to explain how I feel. “I need to stay focused on swimming, and you’re equally as focused. If I were to hook up with a guy I don’t know well, it could get dramatic. He could want me more than I want him. Or vice versa.”

“I know what that’s like,” Levi says quietly.

“Or what if I can’t find somebody who’s good at fooling around like you?”

Levi smirks a little, and I keep on rambling.

“And if I hook up with someone random, I could get a bad reputation. Or he could end up being a crazy person.”

“Like the Cal guy who wanted you to spank him?” He snorts at his own joke.

I give him a look. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t need drama right now.”

I kiss along his jaw as I work my way over to his lips. He cups the back of my neck, bringing my mouth to his. After a few soft kisses that feel like lemonade on a hot day, he pulls back to stare at me.

“I’m nervous,” he says.

“About what?”

“I like this. But you’re the best thing in my life. The only thing in my life.”

“That’s not true. You’ve got your mom and Oma and Opa and Pepper. Hunter and Georgia.”

“You know what I mean.”

I do. I know what he means. He’s been my rock since we were kids. My constant.

But…I can’t help wanting to make out with him. The pull is too strong.

I slide onto his lap. Any other guy and I’d feel like a giant oaf, but with him, the way his hands play across my back, drifting up and down the ladder of my spine, makes me feel feminine.

“We promised we’d tell each other how we feel,” I say.

“And I told you, I’m nervous. I’m worried. I’m not sure if I want to do this, but you’re still in my lap.”

I swallow hard, and start to move to the other side of the hot tub, away from him, to respect his wishes and maybe rush home to hide under my bedcovers in mortification. But then he pulls me back against him. The water ripples around us.

I touch his muscled chest, look into his blue eyes and choke out, “I thought you were worried.”

“I am. But when you moved away from me just now, I realized you’d never push me.”

I lean closer to him. “So what does that mean?”

He shrugs. “I can give you a few more lessons.”

“Lessons in how to be full of yourself?” I tease.

“You bet.”

We ease into kissing again with a few simple pecks. Those tiny seeds bloom into a field of bright sunflowers. He slides one of my bathing suit straps down. Presses his mouth to my collarbone. When I let out a little sigh, he slides his hands to my waist and further down to cup my bottom.

“Can I ask a question?” I pant, my breath ragged. “Why is it you’re supposed to be teaching me how to make a guy feel good, but you’re doing all the work?”

He gives me a smile that’s all mine. “Lesson number one: you’ll know a guy’s worth it when he can’t keep his hands off you.”