This is not exactly what I had in mind when you said your parents were having a dinner party,” Kiera said a week later as Zach escorted her into the Imperial Ballroom at the Boston Park Plaza Hotel.
She took in the room. The ceiling was probably twenty feet high, with three huge crystal chandeliers hanging from it. The floor was covered with a gray-and-burgundy-swirled carpet, and the high windows along the far side of the room were draped in deep burgundy velvet. The walls were a pristine white, as were the tablecloths on the forty tables with ten chairs circling each. In addition, there were five balconies on each side of the room where more tables and chairs were set up for special guests.
And being named a special guest in this group was something. The room was full of Boston’s rich and famous, from local politicians and officials to a few musicians, artists, and actors.
“It’s dinner. It’s a party. And my parents are hosting,” Zach said, a hand on her lower back as he led her through the room to the stairs that would take them to the balcony on the right side of the room, which was closest to the stage. Yes, there was also a stage.
“You knew that I would freak out if I knew that you were bringing me to meet your parents at a banquet with the entire upper crust of Boston society,” Kiera said.
“Let’s say I’ve figured a few things out about you.” Zach looked inordinately pleased.
“Are you sure I’m dressed okay?” she asked. He’d told her the occasion was “very dressy” and had mentioned a “white-tablecloth kind of place.” He hadn’t mentioned there would be fifty such tables. He had texted her a few days ago and said simply, Wear white. But she’d been picturing a nice restaurant with wine she couldn’t afford. Not the Imperial Ballroom at the Park Plaza. With an entire menu she couldn’t afford. With five hundred of the Ashleys’ closest friends.
Zach stopped her at the top of the steps to the balcony and pulled her around to face him. “You look gorgeous.” He ran his hand up and down her arm. “And you don’t have to impress anyone.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded. “Okay, thank you.”
“Thank you.” He lifted her hand to his lips.
She took a deep breath. The tuxedo he wore did more to make her insides mushy than the pirate eye patch had. Because it was real. She hadn’t seen the grew-up-rich side of him much, but it was clear that he was completely comfortable in the tux and in the social setting. She wouldn’t have thought that would be so attractive. Her own parents had spent their share of time at upscale dinners and parties, and she’d been dragged along early on, but she’d never enjoyed them. But maybe that was because she’d never been with Zach before. The guy could probably make her like a root canal.
Zach laced his fingers with hers. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’m going to be.”
She was, in truth, wishing for a little sparkly eye shadow, but she’d be okay. She loved her new dress. It was a long white A-line that fit against her hips but flared slightly below her knees. The bodice was held up with a crystal-studded loop around her neck, and behind it was open to her lower back. It was the kind of silky material that clung, so she’d had to leave the bra at home and needed to go for the thong. She’d put her hair up in a simple twist and used a sparkly clip. But she’d left the sparkly eye shadow and body gems in her makeup bag. Her earrings sparkled a little, but they were also modest—tiny crystal balls that swung from small silver hoops through her ears.
Zach led her to the table in the balcony that overlooked the incredibly beautiful ballroom. A gorgeous woman who looked just like Aimee and a handsome man who gave her an exact picture of Zach in twenty-five years were already at the table.
“Where’s Aimee?” Zach asked her softly.
“She said she’d meet us here,” Kiera said. “I thought she’d be here already, though.”
Zach frowned and glanced down at the roomful of guests. But there was no way he was going to spot her. Finding a beautiful young woman in that crowd was like looking for a snowflake in an avalanche. Sure, up close they might all be unique, but mixed with the others and from a distance they just became a part of the big, stunning picture.
Especially when all the “snowflakes” were actually dressed in white.
“Everyone is in black and white,” she commented, though there was no possible way that was a coincidence.
“My mother likes the glamor of it.”
“Zach.” His mother rose from her seat and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Mother, this is Kiera. Kiera, my mother, Susan.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Ashley.” Kiera extended her hand.
Susan Ashley shook it, studying Kiera closely. “You’re the girl who’s been playing that game with Aimee?”
Kiera nodded. She felt that was a simplistic summary of her relationship with Aimee, but she also didn’t feel like going into it in any more depth. “Yes, that’s right.”
“Mother,” Zach chided, “Kiera and Aimee do more than that. They’re friends.”
“We are,” Kiera agreed. “But we do play Leokin together. Almost every day.”
“And Kiera’s teaching Aimee to cook,” Zach added.
His mother looked surprised and impressed. “You cook?”
Kiera laughed. “Just enough, really. I’ve shown her very basic things. My roommate Sophie does most of the cooking.”
“Kiera’s a wonderful cook,” Zach said.
She glanced up at him, puzzled. She’d made him muffins, bacon, an omelet, and chili to date. And one night he’d had leftover baked ziti when he got home from his shift.
“Yes, Aimee said you have two roommates?” Susan asked, almost as if Zach hadn’t spoken.
Kiera smiled. She was glad to hear that Aimee and Susan had been talking. “Yes. Maya and Sophie both own their own businesses—a martial arts studio and a small playhouse.”
“Oh, Jack, this is Kiera,” Susan said as her husband turned away from his conversation with two other men.
He smiled at Kiera and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Kiera.”
“You too, Mr. Ashley.”
“Kiera is an amazing graphic designer,” Zach said.
“Oh, how nice,” Susan said. “I’m not artistic at all.”
“I’ve always loved to draw and paint,” Kiera said.
“I took a pottery class last year,” Susan said. “I wasn’t very good, but it really was fun to create something. You start with this simple ball of clay and then, by the end of class, it’s a vase. Or it’s supposed to be, anyway,” she said with a little laugh. “Still, it looked completely different by the end.”
Kiera nodded and started to respond. But Zach talked right over her.
“Kiera does the graphics for the fastest-growing video game franchise in the country,” he told his father. “They’re a multimillion-dollar company, and they’ve only been around for a couple of years.”
Kiera gave him a little frown. Why did he think he needed to present his parents with her résumé?
Jack nodded. “Impressive.”
Susan saw someone over Kiera’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. We should go say hello to a few people. Please make yourselves comfortable at the table. They’re going to serve dinner in a little bit. Then we’ll have the program around eight.”
Susan and Jack moved off to mingle, and Kiera turned to Zach. “You’re trying to make sure your parents approve of me?”
He sighed. “No. My parents have a bias against World of Leokin. I wanted to be sure they knew there was more going on.”
Kiera tipped her head. “Wonder where their bias came from?”
“A bit of ranting and raving from one of their children,” he admitted.
“Uh-huh. And what if Leokin was all Aimee and I were doing?”
He sighed again. “I know. It’s not what it seems, and it’s been helping her, and I probably should have said that.”
There was something in his tone and body language that made her hesitate. He was smiling, and he seemed truly glad to have her there with him. But there was something else underlying all of that. He was tense. He had been for two days.
Zach pulled a chair at the table out for her. Kiera sat, but she immediately turned to him when he took the seat next to her. “Your mom mentioned a program?”
He shrugged. “There’s a presentation after dinner. This is a fundraising dinner.”
“Fundraising?” Okay that was nice. Maybe it was some amazing charity. “For what?”
“A foundation they’re starting in my sister’s name.”
Ah. Yes, amazing, then. And very personal. Kiera took his hand. His tension made sense now. This could be an emotional night. “What’s the foundation do?”
“They provide musical instruments and lessons for kids who can’t afford them on their own.”
“Guitar and drums and stuff?”
He shook his head. “Violin and flute and stuff.”
“Oh…I assumed with the band and all that she’d taken guitar lessons.”
“She did, eventually. But she started out with more classical instruments. She paid for her own guitar and drum lessons. She did, however, use the piano lessons my parents insisted on when she played keyboard in the band. Much to their chagrin.”
Kiera grinned. “They weren’t fans of her rock music either?”
Zach frowned. “I never said I wasn’t a fan. I’d heard her play a few times. She was really good.”
“But you didn’t want her to be in the band.”
“Instead of finishing college and getting her teaching degree? No. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t have kept playing at the small bars on the weekends, or doing wedding receptions, or whatever.”
“Okay. Got it. Teaching was better than the band, but the band wasn’t the epitome of all evil.”
Zach reached for one of the water goblets and took a chug. “So, yeah, we’re here supporting the establishment of a music program for classical music in the name of my sister who hated the violin and the flute.”
Kiera thought about that for a moment. And watched Zach’s throat work as he swallowed. And resisted the urge to put her lips against the cord of muscle that ran up to his jaw. “That’s okay,” she finally said.
He looked at her. “It is?”
Kiera looked around. The room was full. It was glamorous. It was like a fairy-tale ball. And nothing like a club where a live rock band would dress the way Josie and her band had in a photo Aimee had showed Kiera.
“This isn’t about Josie,” she finally said. “This is about your mom and dad. This is their way of dealing. Just like Aimee turned to Leokin, and you made your little sister live with you so you could feel like you were doing something—”
He gave her a fake exasperated look. Exasperated because this kept coming up. Fake because he knew she was right.
“This is their way of healing,” she continued. “It doesn’t matter if Josie would have liked it or not. It’s for them.”
Zach turned in his seat and put one elbow on the table in front of her and one on the back of her chair, caging her in. His knees bracketed hers. His gaze caught hers and held it.
“You are amazing,” he said quietly.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“Definitely.”
“Then quit trying to build me up to your parents.”
“I wasn’t trying to hide who you are,” Zach said. He looked down at the floor and took a breath, then looked back up at her. “I’m sorry. This makes me crazy.”
“What does?”
“All of this. Making sure everyone is happy, and no one says anything to hurt anyone else, and no one makes unfair assumptions, and everyone gets along and has what they need.”
Kiera leaned in and put her hand on the back of his neck. “You don’t have to do all of that, Zach. We’re all grown-ups.”
“I know. But grown-ups have problems sometimes too.”
“And you want to save them all.”
“Well, I definitely prefer grown-ups who are having an actual heart attack versus suffering heartbreak,” he said wryly. “I know what to do about the heart attack.”
She rubbed his neck. “Relax. Everyone else’s actions and feelings and decisions are not your responsibility all the time.”
He looked frustrated. “You have no idea how much I want to believe that.”
“Maybe knowing that you’ll always deal with everything and fix everything has made your family less able to handle their own stuff.”
He studied her face. “And the people in your life know they have to handle their own stuff because you won’t do it.”
It was true. Basically. But it sounded bad. Not because of the way he said it but because he cared so much about everyone. He didn’t take care of things because he liked to be in control. He did it because he loved them.
“People have an amazing capacity to learn and grow and heal,” she said carefully. “If we let them. Or, yes, sometimes make them.”
“No one should ever need anyone else?”
She thought back to the night a week ago after the car accident. He’d needed her, and she’d loved being there for him. “Not never,” she said. “Turns out I’m not right about everything I’ve always believed. Either.”
She gave him a little smile that he returned.
“Zach! Nice to see you.”
Zach pushed his chair back and rose to greet the man who had approached their table. Kiera took the chance to slide out of her chair and step to the railing of the balcony. Where was Aimee?
She knew looking for her in the room of women in white was futile, but…then she saw her. Turned out looking for Aimee in a room of women in white was not futile at all—because Aimee was wearing bright red.
It was only her shoes and jewelry that were red—along with her date’s bright-red bow tie and vest—but in the roomful of white, she stood out.
Oh crap. What was going on? Kiera glanced over her shoulder to where Zach was still in conversation with the other man. She caught his eye and gave him a smile, then gestured down the steps and mouthed, “Restroom.”
He gave her a nod of understanding.
Kiera got to her before Aimee could start up the steps to the family’s balcony.
“What are you doing?”
Aimee put her shoulders back. “What do you mean?”
She was dressed in a short white dress that hit at midthigh and had long, winglike sleeves. Her hair was done up in an elegant twist. Her makeup was bold, but not over the top. Though her lipstick matched her accessories perfectly. And the shoes and jewelry weren’t gaudy or tasteless. They were just red. Really red. Just as Cody’s tie and vest were. The tuxedo was nice. Top of the line, in fact. But the red was vivid.
Kiera looked around, then took Aimee’s elbow and steered her through the ballroom doors and out into the hallway. “What’s going on?”
“This party is supposed to be about my sister,” Aimee said. “Josie would have hated all of this black and white. So I decided that at least one person here should actually honor her tonight. Not what my parents wanted her to be, not what they wished for, but who she really was. She made a statement. She stood out.”
Kiera felt her heart squeeze. “Oh, honey—” She broke off and looked around. The hallway right outside the ballroom where the Ashleys’ friends and business associates were coming and going was probably not the best place for this conversation. “Come on.”
“Aimee—” Cody started.
“I’m okay,” she told him. “I’ll be right back.”
Kiera led Aimee down the hallway to the ladies’ room and nudged her inside.
Aimee swung around to face her immediately. “I thought you would understand.”
Kiera quickly checked under the stall doors, relieved to find they were alone. She took a deep breath and faced Aimee. “I do understand. I know that you want to remember Josie and…” She stepped closer and put her hands on Aimee’s shoulders. “I know that you’re trying to channel your inner Quinn because that’s the only way you can face this night.”
Three heartbeats passed before Aimee sniffed. “Cody and my clan encouraged me. They said I should do what would make me feel good. This whole night is about Josie being gone.”
“Your parents are remembering her tonight,” Kiera said.
“No. They’re not. She hated her classical lessons and the violin.”
“And how’s the red jewelry help you remember her?”
Aimee looked down at her shoes. “These are hers. And she would love that I’m here, doing what Mom wants, dressed the way Mom wants me to, but with my own flair.”
Kiera didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know Aimee’s mother well, but she had the definite gut feeling that this would annoy her. And Zach. Because he was trying to keep the peace tonight, trying to keep everyone happy and positive.
Kiera wanted the night to go well for him. She wanted him to be happy and positive.
“It’s funny,” Aimee said. “Before she died, I would have happily put the white dress on and not thought anything of it. I’ve always worked on doing what Zach did. Following the rules and doing what was expected of me. He was my role model. Never Josie. I loved her, and I thought she was cool, but I never wanted to be like her. She rocked the boat, and it seemed like she made things so hard. Everything was a fight. She was always standing up for something.” Aimee took a big breath. “But now that she’s gone, I realize that she was the one who had fun, who made memories and had great stories and really lived life. She only had twenty-four years, but she had more fun and more friendships and more adventure in those years than a lot of people do in twice as much time.”
Kiera swallowed hard. “You realized all of that on your own?”
Aimee shook her head. “I realized it by telling stories about her to my friends.”
“Zach doesn’t have fun?” Kiera had to ask.
“Not often. He doesn’t let himself. Basketball is about it. Until now, with you.”
Kiera honestly didn’t know how to respond.
“Zach, obviously, embraced the black and white,” Aimee said, gesturing at Kiera’s dress. “But there’s no way Josie would have come in here in a white dress. She would have dressed in head-to-toe red, probably. And now as I think about her, I realize that she was happier than Zach has ever been.”
That made Kiera’s heart hurt. She wanted Zach to be happy. More than anything.
Aimee went on. “I think if she’d showed up in bright red, it would have made my mom roll her eyes, but she would have smiled too. Josie always brought color with her.” Aimee was quiet for a moment, then added, “I want to be more like her. Not completely. Sometimes she fought just to fight. But I want to be more like her—more sure of myself, of who I am. I want to worry less about what everyone else expects. I want to be less…like Zach.”
Just then the door bumped shut as someone came in, and they both turned.
But it wasn’t just someone. It was Zach.
And he’d clearly heard what Aimee had said about wanting to be less like him.
“What’s going on?” he demanded.
“Zach! This is the ladies’ room!” Aimee exclaimed.
“Are you alright?” he asked, coming forward. He took in her jewelry. “I assume the guy in the hallway with the bright-red vest is with you?”
Aimee nodded. “That’s Cody.”
“Who the hell is Cody?”
“The guy I’m dating.”
“You’re dating someone, and you didn’t tell me?” Zach asked.
“Yes.”
“Where did you meet him?”
Aimee’s chin went up. “Leokin.”
Kiera stepped forward and took his arm. “Zach, just listen. This is a hard night for her.”
“You met him online?” Zach asked, not even looking at Kiera.
“Yes.”
Zach drew in a long breath. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, Aimee? For fuck’s sake! At least try to be like me enough to stay safe!”
Aimee winced. “I’ve known him online for almost a year. And when I first met him in person, I met him in public, and Kiera was there so I was totally safe.”
Kiera felt as if someone had suddenly doused her with cold water. Oh crap. She looked up at Zach to find him watching her with disbelief.
“You knew?” he asked.
She nodded.
“And tonight is the first night we’ve been alone, and I still met him here,” Aimee said. “Usually our whole group goes out.”
“Your whole group…” Zach trailed off and shoved a hand through his hair. “Your clan, right?”
Aimee nodded, clearly noting the disdain in his tone. “Zach, you have to give him a break. He’s the reason I’m here tonight. They all are. My friends talked me into coming and feeling better about all of this.”
“They’re the reason you’re here,” Zach repeated. “Not me, not Kiera. Not Mom and Dad. Or Josie. Your online friends that have known you for only a few months.”
“I’ve known them longer than I’ve known Kiera!” Aimee threw her hands up. “If I was here because of her, you’d be fine. But not my friends. The people who have been there for me through everything.”
Zach’s jaw tensed, and Kiera could see he was trying to calm down. “Fine. We’ll talk about this later. You need to go home and change.” He looked at his watch. “It’s already late. Mom and Dad have been waiting for you.”
“Then let’s go out there,” Aimee said. “I’m not going home.”
“You can’t go out there like that,” he said.
“Do you really think people are going to give less money to the project because I’m wearing red shoes?” Aimee asked him.
“This is about respecting Mom and Dad. Mom wanted this to be black and white.”
“And that’s ridiculous. People are thinking this is just another fundraising dinner. They’re not really thinking about why they’re here. When I walk in there like this, they’ll think of Josie—how bold and bright she was, how she did things her way. That’s what I want from tonight,” Aimee told him.
“Well, tonight isn’t about what you want,” Zach told her. “You need to go home and change.”
Kiera opened her mouth to intervene, but Aimee spoke first. “The other day you said that you would have respected Josie for standing up for herself and that you know you’re not always right. What happened to your opinion not always being the most important one?”
Kiera looked into Aimee’s eyes and saw the betrayal she was feeling. She looked up at Zach and saw the pain in his eyes.
“And what happened to the part where you said that, when you love and respect someone, their opinion always mattered?” he asked his sister.
Aimee lifted her chin. “I do love and respect you. And I trust you. I trusted you when you said that, if something makes me happy, I should go for it, even if you don’t understand it.”
* * *
Zach felt as if Aimee had kicked him right in the chest. He swallowed. “I just wanted tonight to be nice for everyone.”
“But it’s not your job to make things nice for everyone all the time, Zach,” Aimee said.
His mind was spinning in a million directions, and he didn’t know who to focus on or how to even feel for sure. Was he angry? Worried? Both? Neither? And if it was neither, then what did he feel? Beyond confused, of course.
“Mom’s drinking isn’t about you, Zach,” Aimee said. “Dad’s attitude isn’t either. Neither are my shoes. Half the things that you feel bad about aren’t really about you. Not everything is your responsibility.”
Kiera had said the same damned thing. And as much as he’d like to believe that, he wasn’t sure Kiera was the best one to give advice about responsibilities, frankly. Her way of dealing with things was to walk away. And what did Aimee know about responsibilities? She was seventeen years old, and he’d been taking care of things for her all her life.
“Well, they have to be someone’s responsibility,” Zach snapped. “If it’s not me caring about all of this shit, who’s it going to be, Aimee?”
He expected Aimee to yell. Or cry. Or run away.
But she did none of those.
Instead she looked concerned as she moved closer and looked up at him. She shook her head. “You’re wrong.”
She was concerned about him?
He scowled. “What do I have wrong?”
She swallowed hard. “Mom’s back in AA. And she and Dad are going to counseling. And I signed up for classes the other day. And you didn’t do any of that for us. We all got there, because of our friends and each other and ourselves. And we’re okay.”
Dammit. Why didn’t anyone in his family tell him how they were really feeling and what they were going through and what the fuck was happening in their lives?
“Why haven’t they said anything?” he asked, proud of how calm his voice sounded.
Aimee’s eyes widened. “You really don’t know?”
“No. Why?”
“They’ve been protecting you.”
Zach stared at her. “Excuse me?”
“They didn’t tell you because they knew you’d want to walk me to class every day and go to the AA meetings and sit on the couch next to them in the counselor’s office. You take everything on.”
“I would have tried to help, yes,” he said. “How is that a bad thing?”
“Because they’re not your problems to solve!”
Her words hit him directly in the gut.
“Things don’t really get better if we’re not the ones making it better,” Aimee said.
He didn’t know what to say. Or even what to feel. He thought through everything she’d said. “They don’t tell me anything so I don’t try to get involved where I’m not wanted?”
“They do it so you don’t try to fix something you can’t fix and then beat yourself up over failing.”
His parents knew him that well? And they’d been putting forth all that effort for him?
He didn’t remember the last time someone had tried to save him from something.
Except for Kiera. She’d been trying to save him from screwing things up with Aimee.
“And by the way, when you constantly think you need to fix me, it makes me feel more broken than I really am,” Aimee said. Then she pushed past him and stormed to the bathroom door, yanked it open, and disappeared through it without a look back.
Zach dragged a big breath into his lungs. He should go after her. He should…
But no. He didn’t need to go after her. She didn’t need him. Cody was there. And the rest of her friends.
“Zach?”
Kiera’s soft voice pulled him out of his head. He focused on her and just looked at her for a long moment.
“Should we go after her?” Kiera asked.
He slowly shook his head. “No.”
“No?” She was clearly surprised.
Because he always went after people. Always.
“She doesn’t need me. I’m not going to—” He broke off and shook his head again. “I even tried to change you. The last person on the planet that needed fixing.”
She gave a short laugh. “Seriously? I’m screwed up too. We all are a little.”
He stared at her beautiful face. She was amazing. And she left people alone to figure their own shit out. She’d been happy and pain-free for years.
He wanted some of that. Right now.
He turned and started for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m done.”
“Done? What does that mean?”
“I’m done trying so fucking hard.”
“Zach—”
“Everything I wanted is a reality. Aimee is happy and has friends again. My mom’s getting sober. My dad’s at least trying.”
“It’s all great,” Kiera agreed.
He gave a humorless laugh. “And I had nothing to do with it. They didn’t confide in me when things were bad. When I found out and tried to help, it didn’t work—Aimee holed up, my dad shut down, and my mom drank anyway. And then eventually they all figured it out themselves.”
“And it’s still a wonderful thing, Zach,” Kiera said. “They’re getting better. Happy. I know you love being a hero, but like Aimee said, not every problem is yours. Other people love the people you love too. They can help them. And sometimes people can help themselves.”
He nodded. “Yep, guess so.” And just what the hell was he supposed to do with that? “I guess that means you’re free to go.”
Kiera blinked at him. “What?”
“Tonight was our last night. You can go home to your computer and cereal bowl.”
He saw the hurt flash in her eyes, but he ignored it. Kiera Connolly definitely didn’t need to be fixed. He needed to leave her alone.
“You’re going back in there by yourself?” she asked softly.
“No. I’m not going back in there period.” He turned and headed for the door. If he didn’t need to worry about how other people felt anymore, he was going to start right now.
* * *
Kiera let herself into the house through the back kitchen door. She felt numb. No, she wanted to feel numb. Instead she felt…confused. Stunned. Pissed off.
Zach had walked away.
That was all she was sure of.
Kiera dropped her purse on the table by the back door and barely noticed when it slid to the floor.
“Hey.” Maya straightened from where she’d had her shoulder propped against the cabinets, apparently watching Rob replace the lightbulb in the fixture above the center island.
“Hey.”
“How was the party?” Rob asked.
“Um…” How did she even begin? “The hotel was gorgeous, the dresses were gorgeous, met the mom and dad, disappointed the sister, and watched the boyfriend walk out before dinner even started.”
Rob lowered his arms, and Maya came forward.
“What happened?” Maya asked.
Kiera shook her head. “I’m not really sure.”
Maya pushed her gently into one of the chairs at the table in the nook by the window. “You don’t look so good.”
“I don’t feel so good.”
“Zach walked out?” Maya asked. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“I know.”
“So what happened?”
Kiera felt her chest tighten as she looked up at one of her best friends. A woman she loved and trusted and knew would always be there for her. And yet Kiera didn’t confide in her. She didn’t share. She didn’t let Maya all the way in.
But Maya was still there for her. So was Sophie. So was Rob.
Not letting them close, not letting them really be fully a part of her life, had been a huge mistake.
So Kiera recounted the whole story. Then she raised her gaze to where Maya was leaning against the table, watching her with a funny look. Kiera took a shaky breath. “He walked away from Aimee, his mom, his dad, everyone. People weren’t doing things his way, and he just…quit.” She shook her head, dropping her gaze to her hands.
“Kind of sucks, doesn’t it?” Maya asked.
Kiera lifted her head quickly. “What?”
“Sucks when you really care about someone and want to help, but they just block you out.”
Sophie was the softer, sweeter one. Kiera knew that. But in spite of the pang of hurt near her heart, she knew Maya had every right to say that. Kiera had been doing exactly what Zach had done tonight. For the past three years.
“Yes. It does,” she admitted.
Images flashed through her mind. Of Sophie making Kiera soup when she’d been sick, even though she’d missed Sophie’s big opening night at the theater because she’d been working. Sophie making Kiera’s costume for this Comic Con even though Kiera had skipped out on helping with the set for Sophie’s last play. Maya leaving a new pair of mittens on the counter in the kitchen after Kiera had left ones she’d borrowed from Maya on the train. Maya buying Kiera’s favorite coffee, even though Kiera only knew that Maya preferred tea and had no idea if she had a favorite. Rob coming over and changing lightbulbs for them even though they should be perfectly capable of doing it themselves and never came over to his place to do anything but drink beer.
The list was endless. They were always there for her. Even when she didn’t hold up her end, even when she was selfish and absorbed in her own little bubble and withholding her affection, these people were there for her. Those things seemed small, simple. But added up over time, they made…a relationship.
“So, what are you going to do?” Rob asked.
Kiera took a deep breath. This hurt. Getting involved with Zach and Aimee had been wonderful, but painful in the end. And it was over. She’d done what she said she would do. She’d put the month in. She needed to start working on the Leokin stuff tomorrow. She could walk away and not feel guilty. That would be the easiest, most predictable thing for her to do.
“I don’t know,” she told her friends. Because she didn’t want to walk away. “I don’t really know how to go after someone.”
“Well,” Maya said, “what would Zach do?”
Kiera started to smile, then realized that Maya had a point. Zach always went after the people he cared about. He didn’t leave. He dug in and stayed.
More images went through her mind. Zach knocking on Aimee’s door every night to see if she was okay and if she needed anything, even when she said terrible things to him or said nothing to him at all. Zach showing up at his mom and dad’s house for dinner even though he knew his mom might be tipsy and his father doing nothing for anyone. Zach showing up at work day after day with the hope that he would save someone’s life, even though he knew there was always the chance the opposite would be true. Zach leaning against the post at the arcade, waiting for her to come out of the restroom and face what they’d been talking about.
Zach showed up even when he knew things would be bad, even when he was being pushed away, even when he was facing things that would hurt. Because, for him, the love he felt was stronger than the possible pain.
“Zach would come after me,” she finally said. “He’d be there no matter what I did or said. Or didn’t do or say.”
Maya nodded. “Then you know exactly what to do.”
Kiera felt her heart flip over. She did. Because of Zach. “I’m…sor—”
“Stop it,” Maya said, holding up her hand. “Sophie will kill me if I finally get a mushy, emotional, spill-our-guts moment with you and she misses it.”
Kiera smiled, in spite of everything. She got to her feet. “Well, then this part will be just between us.” And she pulled Maya into a hug.
She was becoming a fan of hugging.
“I found him.”
Kiera looked up to see Aimee coming into the kitchen. She knew exactly who Aimee was talking about, of course. She stood swiftly. “He was lost?”
“After you left the party, Mom called. She was crazy with worry because we’d all left. I couldn’t believe that Zach just walked out,” Aimee said. “So I started calling his friends. No one knew where he was. They went and checked the gym and the bars, but he wasn’t anywhere. He wasn’t answering his phone. Nothing.”
Worry tried to take over, but she focused on Aimee’s initial words. “But you found him?” Her heart was pounding so hard that everything sounded muffled.
“He’s at home. He’s been there the whole time, I guess. But he’s holed up in his room. He never hangs out in his room, so I didn’t even look in there.”
Kiera grabbed her purse. He was at home. That was all she needed to know. “I’m going over there.”
“He’s, um…” Aimee was clearly hesitant to tell her the rest.
“He’s what?” Kiera asked. She grabbed Sophie’s car keys and started for the door.
“He’s in there…”
Kiera glanced back. God, did he have a woman in there with him? But she rejected that thought right away. Was he drunk? High? “Aimee.”
“He’s gaming.”
Kiera stopped, frozen. Then she turned to face Aimee. “Excuse me?”
Aimee nodded. “He’s gaming. He’s in Leokin.”
Kiera shook her head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, he moved all of my stuff—my gaming chair, computer, monitor, controllers, headphones, everything—into his room and is now in Leokin. He didn’t even look up when I came into the room. He wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t stop for even a second.”
“Is he…playing…as you?” But unless Aimee had given him her password, that was impossible. But nothing else really made sense either.
“Nope. Made his own account, his own character, the whole thing.”
“But…how…What’s he doing?”
“Killing a bunch of trolls when I was in there,” Aimee said grimly.
Maya turned round eyes to Kiera. “I think you broke the hot guy.”
Yes. It did appear so. Crap.
Zach loose in Leokin. With only a basic knowledge of the game. And pissed off at the world—the real world, anyway. This had disaster written all over it.
Kiera set her purse and the car keys down on the table and started for the stairs.
“Where are you going?” Maya asked. “Aren’t you going to Zach’s?”
“I am,” Kiera affirmed. “But I’m going in for the long haul. I’m going to need some more comfortable clothes and some supplies.”
“I’ll pack some things up in here,” Aimee said, heading for the cupboards.
“You’re going to game with him?” Rob asked with a grin.
“I’m going to do whatever he needs me to do,” Kiera said. “But if he wants to game, then yeah, we’re going to game.”
“What if he won’t talk to you?” Aimee asked. “He wouldn’t even look at me.”
“I can play for days without talking to anyone.”
“You’re going to outlast him?” Maya asked. She looked amused.
“Oh yeah,” Kiera assured her. “If Zach Ashley thinks he can escape me in Leokin, he really has a lot to learn.”
“He can be really stubborn,” Aimee said, putting a box of crackers and a couple of apples in a plastic bag.
“Well, I’ve done gaming marathons with Pete and Dalton,” Kiera said. “Zach will be putty in my hands in a few hours. Heck, he probably thinks he can get through this on energy drinks and Twizzlers.”
Rob groaned. He’d made that mistake. Once.
“Be sure you put some bottled water and protein bars in there,” Kiera told Aimee. “I’m going in prepared for anything, and I’m not coming out without Zach.”