WHO THE FUCK poured sand in my mouth? I struggled to form enough saliva to swallow, and when I did, the effort made my head throb above my left eye. A vice squeezed my temples, but that was nothing compared to the thirst. When was the last time I had any water? A week? A month?
Shit.
I opened one eye to see if maybe I’d been smart enough to get a glass of water last night before coming to bed.
Only I wasn’t in my bed. Or any bed. It felt like I was on a couch.
My other eye refused to open, so I peered up at the ceiling, and tried to figure out where I was. The plain white plaster gave no clues. I rolled my one good eye to the right and saw the blurry outline of a fireplace. A familiar plaid caught my eye and I held up the blankets covering me.
Hailey’s. I was at Hailey’s.
How?
I forced open the other eye and blinked in the bright light flooding through the windows. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and down along my beard.
This could not be good.
Wait, was I wearing pants?
I assessed and concluded I was. Okay, so we probably didn’t have sex. I’d be in her bed if we had, right?
Where was she?
I rolled to face the cushions, and used my arm to pull myself up to see the other side of the room.
Nothing out of the ordinary, except a large glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen sat on the island.
No Hailey.
Unfocused memories of last night struggled to the surface of my hangover.
Last night, I’d sat on a stool in the corner of the Dog House with John and Diane. Third wheel? Try tricycle. Being with a couple sounded like torture for New Year’s Eve, but it worked out great for my new plan. Diane knew a lot of women on the island through her work. Any time one of them would come over to say hi, I’d flashed my dimples and offered them a kiss for the new year. According to John, I resembled a clown or a drag queen with all the lipstick stains on my lips and cheeks. Didn’t bother me. The more the merrier.
A brunette leaned against my hip while she chatted to Diane. Nice tits, nice ass, and a voice that could strip paint, or barnacles off a boat. Nothing soft or sultry about this voice.
I swatted her ass to get her to move. “I’ll be right back.”
Squeezing through the crowd, I pushed my way to the men’s room. I caught my reflection in the ancient mirror over the sink. John was right. I had lipstick marks all over my mouth, cheeks, and neck, including one on the tip of my nose, making me look like a red-nosed reindeer. I half-ass rubbed them off with paper towel, laughing at how ridiculous I appeared.
In the dark hall, bodies packed together in a congested mess. I went with the flow to the back because it was easier than trying to squeeze around a cluster of women in line for the ladies.’ Hands tugged at my arms and familiar female voices called my name. The lights were too low to pick out faces, and I might have been past the point of sobriety to remember names. I let myself be led closer to the dance floor. Pulsing rhythms and a steady drum beat had women all around grinding and bumping hips with each other or whoever stood close enough. More hands trailed down my body and grabbed my ass. I spun around, but my admirer had disappeared.
Normally, I didn’t dance, but tonight I made an exception. This wasn’t dancing, this was foreplay standing up. Someone handed me a flask. When the cinnamon heat hit my throat, I sputtered and had to lean over to keep from losing it on the floor. I stood up and the room tilted, lights flashing and spinning. Or maybe I was spinning. I couldn’t be sure.
If I closed my eyes I might feel better—no, that was a bad idea. Very bad idea. I needed fresh air. The room smelled of stale beer and warm bodies. I shoved and pushed my way through the crowd as the band stopped playing to start the countdown. A female voice near the door asked me where I was going and who was she going to kiss at the stroke of twelve. I gave her a weak smile and leaned against the door to open it, tumbling over the threshold, and nearly landing on my ass. The deck railing caught me and I held on while I tried to get my head on straight.
Inside, the crowd shouted “Seven, six, five, four . . .”
Fireworks exploded over Camano Island across Saratoga Passage, illuminating the clear sky.
“ . . . three, two, one!”
A roar of noisemakers and cheers reverberated the windows separating me from the party.
The noise grew louder when the brunette from earlier opened the door.
“There you are. I never got my kiss.” She swayed on her heels in my direction.
“No? That’s a shame, isn’t it?” I smirked exactly how I knew she wanted it.
She tasted of cinnamon and desperation. Loneliness filled my mouth with a bitter flavor.
Wrong brown hair. Wrong lips.
Wrong woman.
I needed to get out of here. There was someplace else I should have been tonight and someone else I should have been kissing at midnight.
I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked at me.
“Can you give me a ride?” I asked.
“Sure. We could go to my place.” She ducked her chin and attempted a coy expression. The lust in her eyes and her hand near my belt buckle ruined any chance she had at playing hard to get.
“Maybe another time? I’m not feeling well and I need to go home.”
“Want me to take care of you? I did a year of nursing school.” She tried to touch my forehead with the back of her hand, but I caught it and held her wrist.
“Not sick. Just too much to drink. Can’t drive.”
“Where are your friends? Want me to get them?” She dropped the drunk girl act. Her voice had switched from seductress to concerned, nice girl.
“I don’t want to ruin their night. Do you mind? It’s up the road at Goss Lake.”
In my drunken haze, I managed to give her directions to the cedar-lined driveway, but told her to drop me off at the road. Bad idea. I stumbled and tripped on a root, landing on my side. I lay there, staring up at the stars peeking through the tall trees. I might have fallen asleep for a minute or two, then jolted awake. Clambering to my feet, I stuck to the middle of the gravel path until I arrived at the house.
The house stood dark except the porch light.
I didn’t see a car in front of the garage, but rang the doorbell anyway.
I rang it over and over again. I pressed it and didn’t let go, listening to the off key dong echo around the living room. When nothing happened, I pounded my fist on the wood door, then alternated with my knuckles, creating a rhythm a lot like a long Allman Brothers riff. I rested my head on the door frame and whispered, “It’s me. Please let me inside.”
Hope lost, I slumped to the concrete landing and rested my body against the door. From here, the giant pine cone stood out in the moonlight. I never had asked her why a pine cone. Or what she wanted to be when she grew up.
Or what she wanted from me.
This time I knew I had fallen asleep because I awoke to a boot kicking my legs.
“Ow, stop.” I rolled away from the rude boot and curled my coat around my shoulders. Boy, I was glad whatshername grabbed it for me before we left the bar. She was so nice. Such a nice woman. I should thank her. Unlike the mean person who was still kicking me.
I pried open one eye and was met with green eyes blazing with fury.
“Thank God, you aren’t dead. Now get off my porch.”
“Don’t be mad, Idaho. I was with the wrong woman tonight,” I mumbled, trying to sit up, but my legs were asleep and my arms were frozen. “I only wanted to kiss you.”
“I can see that. Were you running a kissing booth?”
I absently rubbed my cheek. “I tried to remove it. It wouldn’t come off with the paper towel.” I smiled at her shyly.
“Where’s your car?” she asked, stepping around my legs to unlock her door.
I furrowed my brow. “I don’t know. Not You gave me a ride here.”
She held out her hand and I pulled myself up by grasping it.
“That was a bad idea.” She walked through the door.
I attempted to pull off my boots, forgetting they had laces, and toppled over her couch. “Oomph.” I rolled and put my feet on the floor by the coffee table.
“You’re drunk.”
I nodded, struggling to get the laces of my boots undone.
Her hands swatted mine out of the way. “Let me.”
“You’re the best, Hailey. I don’t deserve you.”
Her eyes flashed to mine. “Definitely not.”
I pouted and petted her hair. “Don’t be mean. I knew she was the wrong girl. I came to find you.”
“Let’s get you warmed up.” She threw a blanket around my shoulders. I recognized it from our blanket bubble. I sniffed it to see if it still smelled like us.
“Did you sniff the blanket?” In the kitchen, she turned on the stove and filled the kettle with water.
“I wanted to know if it still smelled like us.”
“I washed it.”
I pulled the wool tighter around my body and shivered.
“I’ll start a fire.”
My eyelids drooped as she lit the kindling. I fought to keep them open as the flame caught, and burned orange and bright. The weight of my breath grew heavier and I let myself tip to the side, curling up under the blanket with my head on the arm of her couch. Unable to keep my eyes open any longer, they closed as the kettle whistled.
“You’re the right girl, the only right girl,” I mumbled to myself as sleep swept over me.