Sarah awoke as the sun was peeking over the field beyond the sycamores outside the guest room window. The third floor room was drafty, but there were plenty of quilts on the bed and Orson was snoozing in his fuzziest sleeper in the crib beside her.

She gazed out the window into the glorious fall leaves.

Things were changing. Everything in her life was changing.

And what she was about to do was scary.

But some things would never change - not her love for Orson or her determination to do the right thing for him, not her self-confidence or her sense of right and wrong.

She slipped out of the room, freshened up, and came back to unplug her phone and crawl back into bed with it.

It was early, but if she wanted to catch Max before work, now was the time.

He picked up on the first ring.

“Sarah?” His deep voice had a raspy edge to it, as if he had been worried.

“Yes, it’s me,” she said.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I got in late last night,” she told him.

“Oh good,” he said, sounding relieved. “You’re in Glacier City already?”

“No, I’m actually at a farm in Pennsylvania,” she explained. “It’s a long story.

“A farm in Pennsylvania?” he echoed.

“Yes,” she said. “It’s a long story, but I called because there’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you before now.”

“I’m listening,” he said.

“Are you sitting down?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Okay,” she paused.

She’d rehearsed this so many times, but everything she’d practiced seemed too formal, too stilted.

To his credit, Max waited patiently.

“When I came out there last year, I was so happy,” she began. “I loved the idea of investing in timber, spending time outside, but mostly I just… loved spending time with you.”

“I loved it too,” he said.

“But when we slept together, I felt… embarrassed,” she admitted. “We barely knew each other. That’s not something I make a habit of doing.”

“I know you don’t.”

“So I didn’t return your calls or texts,” she went on. “I figured you felt bad since we were trying to do business together, like you had to call me…”

“That’s not why I was calling and texting you, but I understand. I really do.” he said

“That’s not all,” she said.

“It’s not?”

“No. Once I’d been home a couple of weeks I noticed I wasn’t feeling so well in the mornings and then… well, long and short of it, I was pregnant,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut tight and feeling glad she wasn’t there in person telling him and waiting for his reaction.

“You were pregnant?” he asked, an edge back in his voice.

“I have a baby now,” she said. “He’s three months old. His name is Orson. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Max, I don’t want child support, and I don’t want to cramp your lifestyle. I just want you to know about him, to decide for yourself if you want any part in his life. He’s a very special little boy.”

She pressed her fist to her mouth, tears already running down her cheeks in anticipation of his reaction.

There was nothing but silence on the other end.

After a moment she forced herself to look away from the window to Orson, who was mercifully still sleeping. His cheeks were so pink and his little mouth formed an “o” as if he were dreaming about something surprising and delightful.

Sarah hung up the phone and plugged it back in.

When it began to light up and buzz again she turned it off and left it where it was.

Max’s silence had spoken louder than words. She didn’t need to hear his reasons for not wanting to get involved, it was best to move on. She could have a lawyer draw something up to relieve him formally of any financial responsibility when they got home. For now she just wanted to gather herself.

She went back to lie beside her son.

Her heart was aching, but she had done the right thing. The rejection she felt on Orson’s behalf was terrible.

But Max didn’t know Orson, so it didn’t really reflect on her son.

And the guilt she had felt for not telling Max was dissipating already. She might not have told him as soon as she should have, but she’d told him now.

She was doing her best.

When Orson woke up, she would feed him and they would enjoy a day on the farm. She would make a plan, with Kate’s help, that would allow Sarah to give her little boy the richest and fullest and happiest life she could.

I am enough, she told herself.