WITH THE HUDSON River at their side, the sun was hot and obnoxious. It was a pleasant day, especially warm for New York, warm enough even to shirk sleeves. The Tanaka cousins were walking side-by-side, steps ahead of their love interests, and speaking in hushed tones.
“You seem to be taking life a little more seriously these days,” John said as they strolled.
Tak shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know if ‘more seriously’ is the term I’d use.”
John raised a brow. “I would. The last time I saw you, your biggest gripe was that Ferrari had discontinued the 360. We’ve been out here for half an hour now and you haven’t mentioned your car, your art or a piece of ass once.”
Tak grinned. “So, how’s that weird ass brother of yours?”
“Good, I suppose. Still in Seattle. Ma’s ready for him to settle down.”
“Yeah…Good luck with that.”
“I know, I know,” John rolled his eyes.
While his older brother was similar in appearance to him and Tak, he still managed to diverge from them radically. The bulky black frames, the pointed and protruding ears, the inexhaustible supply of tucked-in screen tees—Ghostbusters, Marvel Comics, Star Trek—good Lord, he had enough Star Trek stuff to stock a novelty shop.
“Mike’s of the opinion that he’ll meet a beautiful woman with a brain to match his,” John said.
Tak frowned. “I’m not sure there is a brain to match his,” he said, considering his cousin’s near perfect SAT score.
John shrugged. “Well, if she does exist, I’m not sure she’d want to spend her days at Star Trek conventions.”
Tak paused at the inverted railing for a view of the Hudson. They were in lower Manhattan at the promenade for Battery Park City. The World Financial Center was in their sights; a mega complex of power corporations like Merrill Lynch, Dow Jones, and American Express was nearby. He caught a glimpse of Deena and Allison a few yards back, their arms entwined like two old ladies as they talked. He thought of Deena standing up to her grandmother and wiring the money with a declaration of “it’ll be there if you need it,” and smiled.
John followed his gaze.
“I think they’ve given up on us. My guess is that they’re seeking solace in each other’s arms.”
“Yeah. I could see why Allison would give up on you. She’s had enough time to see that you’re a loser. But me, what have I had? Three days?”
John smiled. “Well, your shortcomings are painfully obvious.”
Tak leaned over the railing, watching as the two women stood just out of earshot, Allison’s hands on Deena’s shoulders.
“You’d better get her,” John warned. “Allison’s probably sullying the Tanaka name right now.”
“Why? What do you think she’s saying?”
John shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably that you’re a gigolo and that she shouldn’t waste her feelings on you.”
“And why the hell would she say that?”
John grinned. “Cause you look too much like me.”
“Bullshit,” Tak said. “You look like that balding father of yours.”
John laughed. His father Yoshi’s hairline had gone from receding to retreating these last few years.
“Well, you know Tak, people have always thought we look more like brothers than cousins.”
“They were trying to make you feel better.” Tak watched Allison as her arms flailed and he thought back to John’s comment. “Jesus, John. What did you do?”
His cousin shrugged. “I don’t know. Not today, at least.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Well, here’s the short version. Buddy of mine had a bachelor party. I got wasted and came home in a taxi I didn’t even remember flagging down. But I sobered up real quick. Allison found lipstick on my collar and gave me a black eye.”
“Shit. But you’re still…together. Right?”
“Due to no small amount of begging on my part.”
“Well,” Tak laughed. “What’d you expect? What were you thinking?”
“I’m pretty sure thought wasn’t part of the equation. More like scotch, tits, testosterone and a bit of encouragement from the guys.”
Tak stared at him. “I thought you were in love with her.”
A flash of irritation crossed John’s face. “It’s always so damned black and white with you, isn’t it? Of course I love her.”
Tak turned back to the water. “Just scotch and tits more, huh?”
“Listen, here you are in your first serious relationship for all of what, twenty minutes? And you want to judge me? I can remember a time when you were fucking girls from here to San Diego. No dinner. No relationship. Just you, her and a bed.”
“Yeah well, that’s not me anymore. Before the other day I hadn’t had sex in over a year.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Believe what you want.”
“You’re telling me during that whole ‘friendship’ stage you weren’t somewhere getting laid at least every once in a while?”
“Didn’t want to.”
“Wow. What the hell did she do to you?”
Tak stared at the dark waters of the Hudson River, and beyond it, to New Jersey. “I just love her. It’s like she’s everything I’m not. She’s brilliant, driven, and resilient as hell. And she’s solid, you know? You know what you’re going to get from her every time.”
“And beautiful. That doesn‘t hurt,” John said.
Tak grinned. “Hell no, it doesn’t hurt.”
“And those tits are like, what? Good solid D cups?”
“All right, John. Time to settle down.”
John grinned. “I forgot. You’re in love with this one. So, before we were skating around those Playboy bunny tits you were talking about how reliable she is. Continue.”
“Listen. I’ll kick your ass and it’ll be no big deal.”
John shot him a look. “This is my neck of the woods, samurai. I’ll dump you in the Hudson and it’ll be like an episode of Law & Order around here.”
“Right,” Tak said. “They’ll be drawing a chalk line around your ass right about here.”
“Well, it’s just space and opportunity, itoko. Space and opportunity.” John’s palms touched, bowing with the challenge. The gesture was a relic from their childhood, deference to the karate films they imitated as children.
ALLISON STARED AT her boyfriend of three years and scowled, before turning back to Deena.
“So I told him, I said, ‘John, I’m no bimbo. You either commit to me or I’m out of here.’”
“And that worked?”
Allison smiled. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
Deena lowered her gaze. “Still, Tak’s such a free spirit. He’s always talking about how he needs to live untethered.”
“And what about what you need?”
“I’m not sure I know what I need.”
“Okay, fine. Let’s clarify.” Allison turned to Deena, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. “What would you do if this absolutely stunning woman—and I mean stunning, big breasts, narrow waist, long beautiful hair—if she just walked up to Tak and kissed him?”
Deena recoiled. “I’d probably cry.”
Allison sighed. “Besides cry.”
“Go home?”
Allison stared at her. “Jesus, Deena, you’re in love with this guy. I’d like to think you’d kick some ass. His, hers, somebody’s?”
Deena lowered her gaze. “I’ve never hit anyone before.”
“Well then, let me tell you, sister. It’s one of those things that you know is wrong, but feels so damned right at the time. You know what I mean?”
Deena thought about her grandfather calling interracial couples an abomination and then remembered making love to Tak. “Yeah. I do.”
“All right then. So you’d probably sock him.”
“I could never hit Tak.”
Allison watched John out the corner of her eye. “I bet you could if he stumbled home drunk one night with lipstick on his collar.”
They said nothing for an eternity. A range of emotions blazed through this girl Deena had just met and yet felt like she knew; each one burning visibly before she obliterated it to smoothness. Finally, Allison sighed. Deena followed her gaze to the two overgrown Japanese men—Tak and John—tussling on the sidewalk.
“Should we do something?” Deena said.
Allison shook her head. “If we’re lucky they’ll fall in the river.”
She took in Deena’s shocked expression and laughed. “I’m kidding. If we’re lucky, John’ll fall in the river.”
“You don’t mean that either,” Deena said quietly, watching as John yelped, struggling to wiggle free of Tak’s headlock. “I can look at you and tell how much you love him.”
Allison shrugged. “My burden.”
“Love isn’t a burden. It’s a gift, don’t you think?”
“You say that now. I’ll check back with you in a year or so, when your love is no longer a novelty.”
Deena thought back to Tak’s words in Chicago. “Relationships take work, Allison. Anything worth having takes work.”
She sighed. “I know, I know. And deep down I know John’s a good guy. But the lipstick didn’t hurt any less. I guess I was to blame for that as much as he was.”
“How’s that?”
“Haven’t you been listening? I didn’t make my needs clear. Our relationship was never spelled out in so many words. So, when he got backed into a corner, that’s what he relied on—the fact that we never specifically agreed to a monogamous relationship despite spending every day together. As angry as I was, I knew that technically he was right. While I’d been committed to him, I’d never required the same of him. I just…assumed.”
Allison watched as Tak helped John to his feet. “I know you trust him and that’s good. You should. All I’m saying is, don’t make the same mistake I did.”
TAK WATCHED AS Deena folded her arms, her face pinched with agitation. No sooner had they returned from their walk in Battery Park than she pulled him aside and began ranting.
“I swear to God, Deena, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about you, Tak. And me. About us.” She took a deep breath. “All I’m saying is, I don’t want some big-breasted woman kissing you!”
Wide-eyed, Tak glanced past Deena to John, who was busy pretending not to smile as he flipped channels on the flat screen.
“Outside. Now.” Tak grabbed Deena’s wrist and pulled her into the hallway.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I don’t know. I just—Allison said—”
“Allison?”
“Yes. Allison thinks—I think that I need a commit from you.” Deena took a deep breath and tried again. “I need a commitment from you.”
Tak stared at her. “Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“Okay, you’ve got a commitment from me.”
She blinked.
“That all?”
She lowered her gaze. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“ALLISON, I’M TELLING you, you need to learn to mind your own business!”
“And you need to learn to keep your dick in your pants, John!”
Allison squared off in front of him, fists balled.
“How many times do we have to do this?” John sighed. “I didn’t have sex with anyone and you know it.”
“I know it? You don’t even know it! How the hell am I supposed to know it?”
“I’d know if I fucked someone!”
“How?”
“I don’t’ know. I’d just know.”
“Why? Cause your cock wasn’t shiny when you got home?”
“Listen, could we not do this right now? My cousin’s only here a few days. You said you wanted to see him, and that’s the only reason you’re here. But if you’re just going to fuck up his perfectly good relationship so you can tear me down then you should just leave.”
Allison’s mouth fell open. “Tear you down? Tear you down? How dare you! I have done everything for you! Everything! When my father was going to flunk your ass—”
“Oh! Here we go again! How many times do I have to hear that shit? How many nights have I stayed up with you trying to help your ass figure out some fine point of law?”
Allison glared at John Tanaka, the six-feet-tall, broad-shouldered, too-often-arrogant son of a used car salesman who’d earned everything he had through a combination of brains and brawn. She snatched him to her, burning with the heat of the moment, with the way he never backed down, and devoured him with a kiss. They were still locked that way when Tak and Deena returned.
“WHAT DID YOU end up ordering?” John asked, peering into Tak’s brown paper bag as they rode up the hotel elevator.
“Chicken parm. And you?”
John shrugged. “Whatever you got. That’s what I told the guy. I said, ‘give me what he’s having’.”
Tak glanced at him. “No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did. I’m trying to be more adventurous. Allison says I need to be more adventurous. ‘Like your cousin,’ she said. ‘He took his girlfriend on a cross country trip on the spur of the moment.’”
Tak laughed. “And what did you say? ‘Fuck you?’”
John shook his head. “I should’ve. But I said, ‘she wasn’t even his girlfriend when they started’. To which she answered, ‘well, that’s worse!”
Tak laughed. “Yeah, I’m not really sure where you were going with that one.”
John shrugged. “Who knows these days?” He paused. “So, you say she’s never been to a nightclub before? This’ll be her first time?”
“Not exactly. She went once while we were in Atlanta.” As the elevator rose, Tak dug in his pocket for his room key.
“Hundred bucks says I can get Deena to dance before you do.”
“She’ll dance, John. She just needs a little prodding. Your variation of it probably won’t work though.”
“Two hundred.”
Tak sighed. “John, I don’t think you want to—”
“Two-fifty.”
“All right, all right. Your funeral.”
They stepped off the elevator.
“Now remember,” Tak said as they arrived at the door. “I don’t take sob stories and I don’t take checks.”
ALLISON STARED AT the white pants suit with its conservative cut and frowned. “You’re not going to wear that, are you?”
Deena froze. “What’s wrong with my suit?”
“Nothing. I mean, what is it? Gucci?”
Deena nodded.
“Well yeah, it’s a beautiful suit, if you’re looking to sell some real estate or something. But you’re going out to shake your ass.”
Allison disappeared in search of the black duffle bag she’d brought with her.
“You know, I haven’t figured you out yet, Deena. You try your damnedest to hide shit the rest of us are in line to buy. What gives?”
Deena frowned at Allison’s backside as she dug through the bag. Before she could respond the blonde stood, a dash of black fabric in her arms. “Here. Wear this.”
“I don’t even know what that is.”
“It’s a dress, Deena. Now stop being my grandmother and put it on.” Allison held it out.
Deena shook her head. “That’s what you were going to wear.”
“I brought three outfits with me, because I can never make up my mind. I’ll wear one of the other ones and you wear this. You’ve got the body for it, trust me.”
Deena frowned. “I don’t think I should.”
Allison held the dress. “I know you should. It hugs and flows in all the right places and Tak’s jaw will drop when he sees it.”
Deena hesitated. “You think he’ll like it?”
“I know he will.”
TAK FROZE AT the sight of Deena. Dark curly hair, soft tendrils falling onto creamy bare shoulders, lips painted crimson, and blue-green eyes sharpened with smoke-gray eye shadow. The black fabric sculpted her body, clinging to a shelf of soft, supple cleavage with an ultralow neckline. Tight from top to hem the dress split mid-thigh for a dramatic flash of leg. Her tanned and toned calves were accentuated with sleek black pumps.
Tak’s mouth opened, then closed. He looked from Deena to Allison, who stood behind her beaming.
“She looks incredible, doesn’t she?”
Tak’s lips parted and he failed to speak.
Deena’s face fell. “You don’t like it.”
Tak shook his head, sputtering. “No, no, I love it. I’m just—just taken back, is all.”
“I look stupid. I’m taking this off.”
“No!” Tak cried. “Don’t—don’t change a thing. You look incredible. Please…don’t change anything.”
Deena brought a hand to her cleavage. “It’s not too much?”
John shook his head with a laugh. When Allison cleared her throat, he snapped to attention.
“You look beautiful, baby,” John blurted.
Her gaze narrowed. “This is what I had on when you left.”
Tak turned to his cousin with amusement.
“Right. I meant every day, though. You look beautiful every day.”
“Sure you did. Now give me my dinner before I belt you.”
Club Echo was a posh multilevel club in Midtown Manhattan. When Tak led her inside, Deena gave a gasp.
An HDTV covered by a thick layer of glass served as the floor. Both it and the walls reflected the club’s ever-changing theme. On this night, the floor was a vast pool of crystal blue and the walls a perpetual waterfall. Masked beneath the loud and pulsating pop was the sound of crashing water. It, combined with vaulted ceilings, gave the feel of standing in a fast-filling cup of water.
Deena turned to Tak in astonishment. He gave her waist a little squeeze. “I knew you’d like it.”
“Like it? It’s awe-inspiring! I mean, take away the hip hop and you’d be in a museum exhibit about the importance of water!”
Tak grinned. “The last time I was here the place was set up like a jungle. Every so often, a monkey would swing by or an elephant would trumpet. Now that was awesome.”
Deena turned from him and scanned the crowd. Packed tight, each club-goer gyrated to the blast of the beat, encased in sweat despite the blast of air conditioning. They were over twenty-one but under thirty. They were blonde and brunette, deep chocolates and soft tans, each with brightly colored drinks in their grips as they moved. To Deena, everyone looked in his or her element, except her.
Tak glanced at Deena’s apprehensive face and smiled. “How about we start with a drink, huh?”
The bartender was a dirty blonde with a big smile and a tight white tee. Tak waved her over and ordered a beer for himself and a Screaming Orgasm for Deena.
“Lucky you,” the blonde winked before disappearing.
“Tak!” Deena blushed. “What the hell was that?”
“A drink. But if you want it to be more that’s always an option.” He didn’t have to look at her to know she’d expire from embarrassment soon.
Their drinks arrived and they drank them quick. He ordered another round and they too went down.
“So, how are you feeling about all this?” he said, a hand on her arm while she swallowed her third Screaming Orgasm.
“Are you kidding? I can hardly believe I’m here. I’m in a club in Manhattan, in this dress, and I’m drinking a Screaming Orgasm. My grandfather must be clawing his way out of the grave right about now.” She brought the drink to her lips with a giggle.
“Any regrets?”
“About you?”
He nodded.
Deena shook her head. “Not one.”
JOHN AND ALLISON danced to a few familiar songs, a random selection from the top twenty pop and hip-hop charts, and in-between downed a few drinks. Three beers for him, two daiquiris for her. He was loathed to admit it, but his cousin’s presence had done them some good. Before Tak and Deena’s arrival their relationship had been teetering on the brink of extinction. Fights about washing laundry and drinking the last swallow of milk seemed to drive as much of a wedge between them as his lipstick on the collar.
But there was something about Tak and Deena, something about them that was invigorating, inspiring. Something about the way he leaned into her when she spoke, as if fascinated by her. Or the way he placed a hand at the small of her back or on her arm, as if he had this never-ending need to make contact with her. Or the way she looked at him, as if absorbed, as if the object of her infatuation was not only adored but admired.
John wanted that for himself. And he could see in Allison’s eyes that she wanted it too. When had they lost their ability to laugh, to play, to love so easily? Long before the lipstick on the collar, before the months of laundry-induced screaming, too long perhaps to remember. But as Allison pulled John into her arms, and the soft curves of her body melded into the contours of his, he knew that it was his to have back, should he want it.
Tak watched from the barstool as John and Allison approached. Four Screaming Orgasms and twelve hit songs later and Deena was fast becoming part of the furniture. John grinned, leaning in for his cousin to hear.
“It doesn’t count if you drag her onto the dance floor unconscious, Tak.”
Tak laughed. “She’s not the victim here. She’s the one ordering all the drinks. I’m just keeping count.”
“Sure you are.” John waved for the bartender. “Send a pitcher of beer to the table over there. We’re going to run a tab, courtesy of this guy.”
Minutes later the four sat, music blaring, as they downed a round of Heineken.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, Deena. Like, what are you? What’s your ethnicity?” Allison shouted.
Deena tensed. “I’m black and white.”
Allison’s eyes lit up. “Really? Like what specifically? Irish? Italian?”
Deena shook her head. “I—I don’t know.”
Allison frowned. “Well, maybe we can figure it out.”
“Allison…” John warned.
“No John,” she waved him off. “It’s cool. What’s the surname? That’s a good place to start.”
“It’s Knight,” Deena said.
“Knight? Yeah, that’s not very helpful. Is it your mother’s side or your father’s? Because maybe you could ask—”
“There’s no one to ask,” Deena snapped.
“Hey!” Tak leapt to his feet. “Feel like dancing? Allison?”
“Dancing?” She blinked her confusion.
“Yeah!” He turned to Deena. “That all right, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”
“Good. One song. We’ll be back.” He grabbed Allison’s hand and near-dragged her away.
JOHN STARED AT Deena over the pitcher of beer. “She means well. She doesn’t know any better, but she means well.”
He was met with a flicker of irritation.
“They both have good intentions. But you can’t expect them to know what it’s like to be half of something and all of nothing.”
Deena looked up.
“Take me for example. My mother’s white. There’s this whole side of my family that’s blue-eyed and lily-colored. Now they’ve never mistreated me, never said an unkind word to me, but still. I don’t feel white.”
“I don’t feel white, either,” Deena said.
John grinned. “Problem is, I don’t feel quite Japanese, either. I feel more Japanese, but not all Japanese. Probably because I’m always being treated like an outsider.” He shrugged. “For a long time I tried to prove I was one of them. My Nihongo is pretty damned good and my history is stellar. But if they take one look at these eyes, it means nothing.”
Deena lowered her gaze; thoughts of soul food, hip-hop, and desperately trying to blend in made her smile. “We’re a lot alike, Mr. Tanaka.”
John shrugged. “Only if you’re lucky.” He refilled her pitcher of beer. “So, which side do you identify with? The black or the white?”
Deena shrugged. “It’s hard to say. I mean, I don’t even know the white side. After my mother ki—”
John froze, mid-pour. “After what?”
She inhaled massively. “‘After my mother killed my father’ is what I was going to say.” She cleared her throat. “My mother killed my father.”
John stared at her, the beer now overflowing. “Are you kidding me? Cause if you are, that’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”
Deena burst out into laughter. Only a Tanaka could make her laugh about something so terrible. “I’m serious, John. My mother killed my father. She shot him. And I can’t believe you made me laugh about it.”
He looked down, noted the mess he made and reached for napkins. “It’s a certain charm I have.”
Together the two mopped the spilled brew. When he looked up, he did so as if remembering something. “Tak says you don’t dance.”
“Oh, I do. A little. I’m just not that good at it.” she smiled.
John shrugged. “No, no. I understand. I’m the same way. But I like to do it all the same.” He paused and stole a glance at her. “I thought everyone did.”
“I suppose so.”
John leaned forward. “Allison’s like Tak, you know, a real good dancer. She won’t even dance with me. She says I make her look bad.”
“That’s horrible!”
“It’s okay. I mean, I wouldn’t want to dance with someone who was really good at it anyway. It’d be nice to dance with someone who was a little uncomfortable or wouldn’t mind if I lost the beat.”
“Someone like me?” Deena whispered.
John’s eyes widened. “You’d do that for me?”
Deena nodded.
“Well then,” John stood. “What are we waiting for?”
TAK STOOD IN astonishment, watching as John and Deena moved. He would’ve laughed at the absurd way his cousin insisted on thrusting his pelvis had Deena not looked so damned sexy. Her hair was loose and damp, and a thin sheen of sweat covered her. Her hands found her hair and her hips swayed. She threw her head back and laughed when John whispered something in her ear.
Okay. Enough of that.
Tak pushed his way through the crowd and tapped his cousin on the shoulder. He turned to face him mid-thrust.
“You mind?” Tak said. “You’ve earned your money already.”
“I can see why you like her so much, Tak.”
“Get your ass out of here.”
Tak fell in step with Deena. “Hope you left some of that for me.”
Deena grinned. “It’s all for you.”
With a bite of his lower lip, Tak pulled her into his arms, his hands dropping to her waist. Deena arms found his neck.
“I missed you,” she admitted.
“Somehow that doesn’t make me sad.”
Tak turned Deena’s back to him, found her midsection, and pulled her in close. Dancing came natural to him; it was about feeling the moment as all art was. Their hips moved with the pulse of the music. Promises of sex and wild fulfillment coupled with alcohol and skin on skin for an ethereal intoxication. His hands caressed her waist, her hips, and her stomach.
“God, you feel incredible,” Tak said.
“So do you.”
His breathing was loud and labored. He dragged wet lips across her throat as strobe lights bathed them. He found her breast, grazed it, and then fell away. His erection pierced her back.
“You’re killing me, Dee. I can’t—”
His words were clipped when she turned and kissed him. He met her, his mouth open and hungry. He gripped the back of her head and tilted, wanting more than her kiss could give.
Tak sliced the crowd in his rush to the bathroom, his hand clasped tightly with Deena’s. The two disappeared into the men’s restroom, fumbling, stumbling, then meeting.