Crush’s mouth was like a drug. I could feel the euphoria of him coursing through my veins as we kissed, a desperate need igniting inside of me—one I had never felt before with a man.

Sure, I’d had other men in my life—especially after I’d gotten out from under my father’s thumb—but something about the way that I wanted Crush felt so much more real than any of the others.

Feeling my body pressed against his spread a warmth through me like I’d just swallowed something scalding, the heat disseminating through my chest as it went down. I grabbed at his shirt, tugging and pulling at the fabric like I’d forgotten exactly how clothes worked. All I could think about was how much I desperately wanted his skin against mine.

At first he was tense, his lips tight against mine, refusing to yield as I tongued along his seam. It wasn’t until I slid my hands beneath his shirt that I felt him start to respond, his hands moving to grasp my waist, pulling me in closer. Even through his jeans I could feel him stretching, hardening, lengthening. The way it distended his zipper made me realize it must be a monster.

“Chrissy,” he moaned between kisses as my hands explored the rippling topography of his stomach and sides, a shiver seizing my vertebrae. He felt so warm, so welcoming that I had a hard time not getting lost in the feeling of him beneath my fingers.

Hungrily I began pulling his shirt up and over his head with only a minor fuss, though whatever complaints he had were silenced as I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him into another slow and tender kiss. He felt so right against me, and before long I’d pulled my top off, letting it fall into a heap on the ground somewhere out of sight. My world had shrunk down to only the few feet of space that the two of us inhabited, everything else simply melting away into a blur of sound and color that my mind couldn’t be bothered with. All that mattered in that incredible moment was the two of us.

“We need to slow down,” he whispered against my neck as his lips brushed across the nerves there. I let out a soft gasp, melting against him, my muscles becoming jelly as his hands slip up my back.

“But I like fast,” I cooed back at him, turning his face to mine so that I could taste his mouth once again, a fire sparking deep inside of me, filling my belly with excitement.

Part of me had felt something for Crush since I first met him. He’d stood over me, my savior, and pulled me out of hell with his hand around mine. Those eyes had calmed every fear I had in Earthly Delights, washing away all the blood to leave me utterly entranced. I’d felt safe with him. Indebted to him. And the way he took charge, I knew he could handle me the way I deserved to be.

He was protective, kind, everything my other boyfriends had never been. I didn’t know if this was love, but I knew that whatever it was, it felt like I had been missing out until now.

“Chrissy,” he whispered again, but this time something felt off about the way he said it. There was less enjoyment in his tone, instead replaced with something much more serious. “We need to stop.”

“Why?” I asked with a frown. “What’s so wrong about any of this?”

“It’s just—” he began, sighing as he took a step away from me. “We don’t know each other. And you’re…”

He trailed off, but the silence sparked something in me that was by no means excitement.

“I’m what?” I asked, upper lip curling. “What am I, Crush?”

“I just don’t think that this is the best idea—rushing into something without really thinking about where it’ll take us. You’re high off of what just happened, I get it, but that’s no reason to just jump into bed with me. And besides, what would your dad think if he found out you slept with your own bodyguard?”

I could feel the vein in my forehead starting to twitch, my pulse rising and heat building up at the back of my neck. Who the hell did he think I was that something as stupid as my father’s opinion would matter that much to me? My nostrils flared as I breathed out hard through my nose, taking a step toward him.

“I don’t give a fuck about what my father would think,” I told him. “And for that matter, you’re not my goddamn bodyguard, you’re just the first schmuck who looked like he could do the job—and for the record, you certainly wouldn’t be the first bodyguard I’d slept with… But since you’re so damn occupied with what my father thinks of you, then you can tell him all about it after you shove it up your ass.”

“Chrissy,” he growled, but before he could grab me to pull me back to him, I had turned away, marching straight toward the bathroom door. “Come on!”

“Leave me alone, Crush,” I snapped, turning back around just long enough to look him in the eye before I slammed the door right in his face.

If I were in one of those cartoons from back when I was younger, there would be steam billowing from my ears. I had never been so angry in my life, even when I’d been arguing with my father… but maybe that was why I was so mad. It was bad enough that my dad was intent on managing every aspect of my life, but now the one guy who I thought might buck against being my dad’s lap dog had turned out to be exactly like all the others.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering how the hell I attracted men who were only ever the kind that my father could intimidate and control. The whole reason I’d left was so that I didn’t wind up married to some wise guy my dad decided he wanted to replace him—as though we were in some feudal kingdom. I refused to be the damsel he sold off for a chance at a bigger and better empire. I wasn’t something to be bought.

I turned on the sink, brushing and scrubbing drywall dust off my body. I knew that I’d have to face Crush eventually, and despite how angry I was, I knew that I wasn’t going to get him out of my system easily, which would be a problem if this whole “protective custody” thing went on any longer. I would have to do something and maybe once I did he’d be out of my head for good.

I wasn’t going to just sit around and wait for something to happen. If I wanted him out of my head, then I needed to make my move, and I needed him to see me as a girl who knew what she wanted—not some mob boss’ daughter.