Jenna
I’m moody and confused, and it’s showing in my studies. The fact that it’s my last test before I’m free for the summer makes it worse. I can’t help it. I don’t know where to go with Lachlan at all. Gosh, I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be calling him Lachlan. He’s my boss.
“This isn’t working,” I grumble, and I get up from my desk to head towards the kitchen. I’m grab a container of yogurt and plop onto my futon. It came with the apartment, and it’s definitely seen better days. I flick on the T.V., just so I can have something going on in the background, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the show.
I replay what happened between us all the time. The way he stepped towards me, making my whole body burn up with heat, the way he touched my chin, his touch burning like a brand on my skin, and then the way my brain sort of turned to goo as soon as he kissed me. And then oh my god, the way I pressed against him, wanting more, my body just following its natural urges. My cheeks flame up again as I think about his hard body, those flat abs, and strong pectorals, just perfect in every single way. I close my eyes, and I remember inhaling in that spicy scent of his, sending my heart hammering in my ribcage. It was the kind of kiss that could make you forget about everything around you, even the fact that my dad could bust in on us at any minute.
And in fact he did. The second time we broke apart, I could hear my dad calling. Not two seconds later, he shows up at the door to the break room, and Lachlan’s smoothly moving away from me with his mug. He turns to my father, nods, and heads out with his coffee. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure I looked completely dazed, my cheeks splotchy pink as I try to process what had happened. In fact, it’s not until I’m in my dad’s car on the way home that I manage to really wrap my brain around it all.
Twenty-one and I’d never been kissed by a man. Not until that day.
And then to have it be the kind of toe-curling, breath-taking, angels-parting-the-heavens-singing, getting-down-and-kinky kind of kiss that only happens in movies? It’s no wonder I’m a mess about it all.
Except for one thing. Mr. Buchanan, no Lachlan, acts as if nothing has happened. The next day, he gives me his signature grin as if I’m just any other woman, and heads out to lunch. And I have no idea what to do. Do I try to talk to him? Am I supposed to put it behind me like he has? Was it just a slip? Maybe my nonexistent kissing skills put him off.
I remember Beth’s words, about how he’s a player. Could that kiss have meant nothing at all? Maybe he’s already moved on to some other woman whose likely better in bed than I could ever be. I’m chasing my own thoughts in circles, and I’m in no better a mood than when I started.
So when my sister invites me out for coffee, I agree to go. I mean, she knows all about men, having dated since she was sixteen, so maybe she’d know what to do about it all? That’s my hope at least. It’s a lovely Saturday afternoon, warm and breezy at the same time. We go to our usual place, the Starbucks that’s roughly between both of our apartments and settle down outside under one of their shade umbrellas with our drinks.
“It almost feels like summer’s here already,” my sister comments.
“Don’t say that,” I tell her. “I’m not ready for it to get blistering hot.”
“You look cute today,” she says, pushing her shades up on top of her head. “Is that the dress you bought with me at Macy’s?”
I nod. Janine leans forward, scrutinizing my face.
“There’s someone in your life,” she says in surprise as she sits back. “Isn’t there? You’re even wearing makeup.”
I blush and start to deny it, but then I remember why I agreed to come with her.
“Maybe,” I say slowly. “It’s not anything serious though. In fact, I’m not sure if anything’s really there.”
Okay, so that’s a big fat lie, but I don’t want Janine guessing too close to the truth. I’m pretty sure she won’t say anything, but I still want to be cautious.
“Of course there’s something there,” she retorts as she sucks up the whip cream in her Frappuccino. “You hardly ever wear dresses. Now tell me who it is.”
“I can’t. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble,” I say, and at least that’s truthful.
She gazes at me thoughtfully, tapping a finger against the table.
“It’s an older man, isn’t it? A married older man,” she says at last, and I’m so surprised I almost choke on my latte. “Aha! I knew it. Go Jenna! Is it your professor? Are you having sex with your professor?!”
I shush her fast. She’s close enough to the truth for me to not want anyone to overhear. Not that I expect there to be anyone from work or school here, but still.
“Don’t say it like that,” I mumble, not exactly telling her she’s wrong. It’s just best if she doesn’t actually know the whole story. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
“But you want there to be.”
I swirl my straw around. Did I want there to be? In just a few short weeks, we’ve gone from strangers to something more. And while every fiber of my being wants there to be something, my brain is telling me to slow the hell down. To think things through. To consider the consequences. And there were lots of them, the biggest of them being my dad.
“Maybe a little,” I admit. “You know me Janine. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never felt the sort of head-over-heels attraction that I’ve read in all my books. So I’m totally clueless. Add to that the fact that I’m not even sure we should be doing this…”
I stop there and sigh. When I spell it out like that, even I know what the right answer is. I don’t need Janine to tell me.
“Look,” Janine say. “I know how it feels. Unrequited love sucks. So let me be the big older sister and set you up on a date with a hot, young guy who’s single and available. He’s Trev’s friend, and I actually thought you two would be pretty compatible for a while now. Lemme ask Trev if he’s available.”
She whips out her phone and begins to text her boyfriend. I’m still reeling from the fact that my sister even knows what ‘unrequited’ means to stop her.
“He says that Louis is free,” Janine reports. “So let’s make it a double date.”
“Wait what?” I say. This is going way too fast. “Did you just set me up with a stranger?”
“Louis isn’t a stranger,” she says as she slips her phone back in her purse. “He’s charming I promise. And geeky like you.”
I read books. That doesn’t make me a geek. But the distinction escapes my older sister.
“Come on,” she says when I don’t reply to her. “I’ve already said yes. We were planning on hitting up the street market for dinner. It’s supposed to be a lot of fun. And it’s not like you have to go home with Louis. Just meet him, for crying out loud.”
“I don’t understand how meeting someone is supposed to fix my current problem,” I tell her at last. “It seems like it’d just complicate things.”
“Of course not. If you go out with someone else and you feel something, then clearly your feelings for this guy aren’t as serious as you thought. It probably means you just need to get laid. Trust me, I get that way too sometimes, especially when I’ve been single for a few months. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be single for years like you have.”
There’s a look of horror on my sister’s face that really makes me reconsider ever telling her anything again. Seriously, we may get along most of the time, but Janine can really annoy me sometimes.
“You came to me,” my sister says, sipping her drink, “because you know that this is my specialty. When it comes to matters of the heart, Jenna, I’m the expert.”
She’s right about that. I bite my lip, but finally I agree. I mean, my other alternative is to stay home, watching Netflix. At least the street market promises to be interesting.
********
Ten minutes into the ‘double date’ as my sister calls it, and I already know it’s going to be a bust. The four of us meet at the entrance, and I’m the last to arrive. As soon as I show up, I see the disappointment on Louis’ face that I’ve seen more than a few times in my life. Everyone thinks that because Janine looks like a supermodel, her sister must too. But I’m not. I’m shorter, and curvier, and I’ve got my mom’s raven black hair. Our only similarities are our eyes, which are both blue. I shouldn’t have felt hurt by his reaction after it’s happened so many times, but it still stings.
Janine and Trev are already clinging together like limpets, kissing and giggling and putting hands where hands really shouldn’t be in public. I’m all for showing someone you love them, but there’s really a time and a place for some of the stuff they’re doing, and it’s not on an open, busy street. It also makes Louis and me super awkward just watching them go for it while we’re waiting in line to get in.
The street market has taken over a city park and closed off the streets surrounding it. There are food trucks, stalls for people to sell stuff, and even a stage for a band at the very center. It actually looks and smells amazing, and I think it could have been a really fun time if not for my sister and her boyfriend. I really thought that maybe they’d sort of help facilitate conversation between the two of us, but nope, Janine’s just thrown us into the deep end. Louis is handsome, sort of the same way I know that Justin Bieber is handsome (even though I don’t like him myself). In fact, he’s got dark hair like Lachlan does too. But I’m not feeling the butterflies, and my heart isn’t skipping a beat, the way I am when I’m with Lachlan. And the personality differences are pretty big too. I’m a pretty shy person to begin with, but it seems like Louis has me beat.
“So how are you and Trevor friends?” I venture to ask.
“School,” Louis says with a shrug.
He mumbles something else that I can’t hear over the loud music.
“What’s that?” I ask again, trying to be polite.
I hear something about computers? Maybe? But that’s it. I turn to my sister for help, but it doesn’t look like the two of them are coming up for air anytime soon.
“At least it’s not raining,” I say lamely.
You know that it’s bad when you have to fall back on the weather. Louis seems to have given up on our conversation too, because he doesn’t even bother replying. Instead, he pulls out his phone and puts on his ear buds.
“Great,” I say to myself. “Maybe I should have stayed home.”
It doesn’t get much better when he heads inside, though my sister and her boyfriend finally start talking to us, and it sort of evens out. It doesn’t beat curling up with Netflix and takeout sushi though, especially since Louis and I maintain a three feet gap while my sister drapes herself over her boyfriend. I’m wondering where the charm my sister promised has gone to.
I stick it out for an hour, which I think is pretty generous all things considered, before trying to leave. Janine and Trev want to hit up one of the bars along the street, but I’m pretty much done. My feet pinch from the heels I put on, and there’s only so much I can take being around someone who clearly doesn’t want to be around me.
“Oh come on,” Janine says, peering longingly inside. “Aren’t you thirsty?”
“I’m actually not feeling too well,” I tell them. “I think maybe the grilled calamari isn’t agreeing with me.”
“You shouldn’t go home alone,” she says. “It’s sort of getting dark out.”
She gives a significant glance at Louis, whose eyes shift away. Not that I want him to escort me home either. I’m just about to let him off the hook when I hear a familiar voice call out behind me.
“Jenna?”
We all turn around and see Lachlan and another guy walking out of the sports bar. He looks different in his button down and jeans. More relaxed maybe, but just as confident. His chin’s even got some stubble, which somehow makes him even hotter than usual if that was possible. My whole body perks up and responds to his presence, my thighs tightening with lust, my pulse racing as he approaches. My breath catches as I take in everything about him, because no matter how much I look at him, his sexiness always catches me off guard. Even Janine straightens up a little in his presence.
“Mr. Buchanan? What are you doing here?”
“Enjoying the market, just like you,” he replies. “This is my best friend Ollie. Ollie, this is Jenna. She’s going to be taking over for Lacy when she goes on maternity leave.”
I can’t stop looking at him. Thinking about him. Having him here is making my body feels things I shouldn’t be feeling about my boss. Naughty things. Bad things.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I squeak out as I shake his hand.
There’s a pause, and then I remember enough to make introductions too. My heart sinks when I introduce Louis. It’s pretty clear we’re on a double date, and it’s not like he knows how terribly it’s going. I don’t know what to say to him. Not in front of my sister. Everything feels forced, not like the easygoing banter we usually have. Everything in me wants to go to him, but I know that I can’t.
“We’re just about to go in for a drink,” Janine says. “But Jenna’s not feeling it.”
“Street food,” I try to explain. “It’s not agreeing with me.”
“I don’t want you trying to find your way home in the dark,” my sister says with concern. “I mean, there’s a few rough areas around here. And the bus is so terrible…”
Louis looks uncomfortable at the hint, and so do I. Lachlan’s gray eyes flicker over the two of us.
“Where do you live?” he asks me.
I tell him my address.
“That’s right by Ollie’s place. I can drop both of you off,” he says easily. I’m surprised. After the way things unraveled, I thought for sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
My sister looks disappointed, and begins to open her mouth to protest, but I cut in quickly.
“Thanks,” I say. “I’d appreciate that.”
“Of course,” Lachlan replies with an easy smile. “Your sister’s right. I can be dangerous here at night sometimes. Especially on a weekend.”
“Then it’s settled,” Louis says with so much relief that it takes everything in me not to glare daggers at the guy. “See you.”
Janine wavers for a moment, but then she must have decided that my boss would be the last person to try anything. She squeezes my hand, makes me promise to text her when I get home, and waves goodbye.
“Thanks for doing this,” I tell Lachlan as we head towards the exit.
“Don’t worry about it,” he says, but there’s a look in his eye that makes me wonder if there’s another reason that he’s doing this. “Let’s go.”