CHAPTER 20
Kenzie
THE PRESENT…
His heated mouth on my pussy was like a thousand tiny shocks inundating my body all at once.
It was powerful.
It was overwhelming.
And I was consumed by a desire so strong that it was actually as terrifying as it was pleasurable.
“Dane!” I screamed, still stunned by the fact that he was devouring me like a starving man.
Pleasure shot through my body, and I was consumed by Dane and what he was doing to make me experience a primal desire that I’d never experienced before.
“Please,” I begged helplessly, my entire being focused on my need to hit a pinnacle and find my release.
At the moment, nothing else existed except Dane and his wicked tongue.
My back arched from sensation overload, a feeling of euphoria that I couldn’t contain.
My orgasm hit me in pounding waves that I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.
I spiraled back down slowly, my breath coming hard and fast as I finally relaxed on the couch, completely spent.
“Oh, my God,” I rasped as I pushed my hair back from my face. “What just happened?”
Dane finally lifted his head and turned toward my face. “You came?” he suggested with humor in his tone.
“That’s never happened to me before,” I explained in a breathless voice.
My high school experience had been brief and unremarkable. Mostly, it had assured me that I wasn’t missing much by staying away from sex. My partner had been inexperienced, and it had been a rather painful encounter.
Dane scooted until he was next to me and kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him as I tasted myself on his lips.
I felt shaken and vulnerable now that my conscious mind was re-entering my body.
What in the hell had I just done?
My body craved more with Dane, but I was starting to realize just how dangerous that desire could be.
As Dane raised his head, I mumbled, “This shouldn’t have happened.”
He frowned at me. “Why?”
I sat up, my emotions raw as my racing thoughts told me just how perilous my situation was at the moment. I was in danger of losing my heart to a man who generally preferred to be alone.
“You’re my boss,” I explained shakily, using our work relationship to justify my emotions, even though I knew there was far more to my fear than just employment.
He touched me in a way that left me completely exposed, and I wasn’t used it.
I couldn’t tell Dane how I felt, how really afraid I was of falling in love with him.
Just like him, I was accustomed to being alone, fighting all my battles on my own. Trusting someone and letting myself begin to rely on him could be disastrous.
“Be with me, Kenzie,” he demanded in a low, guttural tone. “Sleep with me every night. Let me show you just how good it can be to have a man who fucking worships your body.”
My body? What about the rest of me?
I swung my feet to the floor, forcing Dane to move back.
It was scary just how much I wanted to give in and follow down the path we’d just barely started.
I craved him so badly that my body was trembling from withdrawal once he’d backed off.
“I can’t,” I finally responded, my lips barely able to form the words.
Maybe I’d get instant gratification if I did what he wanted, but in the long run, I’d end up devastated. I knew Dane had the power to destroy me as well as give me pleasure.
“I’ll raise your salary accordingly,” he suggested.
My heart clenched as I got to my feet. His words had just ripped my heart from my chest. He wanted me, but obviously as another business arrangement. “I don’t sell my body,” I answered tersely as I gathered up my clothes.
“I know that,” he answered. “I shouldn’t have even suggested it.”
Problem was, he had wanted a business transaction, and it hurt worse than I ever could have imagined.
Dane Walker was the kind of guy who could buy almost anything he wanted, so naturally, he’d assumed a poor woman like me would jump at the chance to get more money.
“I made a mistake,” I told him as I held my clothing in my arms in front of me like a shield.
“Kenzie, I didn’t mean—”
“I think you meant it,” I told him. “But I can’t accept. That’s not what I want.”
“What do you want?” he questioned in a graveled voice.
I wanted more than he’d be able to give me.
Tears threatened to pour down my cheeks and I turned away. I sprinted to the door and flipped the lock open, trying to salvage my dignity.
“Don’t go!” he said sternly.
“I’ll see you for work in the morning,” I said flatly.
I didn’t wait another moment. I flung open the door and raced out of the room. Theo was on the other side of the island, and I wanted to get upstairs in case he came back to the house.
I took the stairs quickly, determined to get to the privacy of my suite before I cried.
“What in the hell was I doing?” I panted as I closed the door to my bedroom and leaned against it. “Dane is my boss, and having sex with him will never be enough.”
I moved to the couch and sat down, my legs quivering with fear.
How had I lost complete control? Had it been the fact that he’d been so thoughtful about the pottery room?
If I was truthful, my emotions had been all over the place since the moment I’d arrived here. Dane had always been a threat to my heart. Day after day, I’d become fonder of him until it had blossomed into something else entirely. It had occurred so quickly; I’d never been able to recognize exactly what was happening.
Now, I was screwed. I’d given in to desire, which was something far different for me than it was to him.
He wanted sex.
I wanted something more.
“It’s dangerous to want more than a person can give,” I whispered to myself.
Dane had made a life for himself here on his island. Maybe he was hiding, but he seemed to prefer it that way.
Somehow, I had to put him back where he belonged—as my boss. Otherwise, I knew I’d suffer nothing but heartache.
No matter how many walls I’d put up, Dane was able to make them crumble.
I took a deep breath as I stood up, determined to shower and try to get myself together again.
In order to survive, I had to stop looking at him in any other way except as my superior, the person I answered to for work only. It was the only way I had of protecting myself and my now fragile emotions.
I’d learned a very long time ago that the only person I could ultimately trust was myself. Nobody wanted me to survive more than I did.
I startled as I walked around the corner toward the shower. I set my clothing on the vanity, my eyes drawn to what was in front of me.
Mirrors. I suddenly had a reflection of myself right in front of me.
Someone, almost certainly Theo, had mounted two circular mirrors over the sinks of the double vanity earlier in the day.
I studied my face in the reflective glass.
I looked like shit.
My hair was tangled and wild, and my eyes were puffy and terrified.
“Get it together, Kenzie,” I encouraged myself.
Despite his scars, Dane Walker could have almost any woman he wanted. He was still hot, and he was a member of one of the richest families on the planet.
I looked away from my image, not wanting to see the longing that was still present in my eyes.
Yeah, maybe Paige had captured the Walker of her dreams, but my friend was beautiful, and she had a Harvard education. I’d barely graduated from high school, and I’d taken some art classes for fun. I was damaged from my past, both physically and mentally, and I was pretty certain those wounds would never heal.
I turned on the water and stepped into the shower before I finally let my emotions out in the form of monstrous sobs of mourning for a love that could never actually exist.