Chapter 13
Reyna curled in the crook of Damen’s arm. Under the horse blankets, smooth linen sheets made his bed clean and comforting. She closed her eyes and inhaled the delicious scent of a satisfied man.
Her skin glowed warm and clean against his. When she opened her eyes in the grey dawn light, she watched the shifting patterns under his skin. They played his dreams for her to see. Creatures appeared out of the sea of color, tumbled against each other and through forests of foliage and geometric designs, to disappear again. Then Reyna’s eyes drifted closed and she sailed in a dream world populated by those shapes and beings from another dimension.
The last time she opened her eyes, she found Damen watching her. “Are you awake?’
He laughed. “Are you awake?”
“I can’t tell. I might still be asleep.”
“Are you hungry? They’ll be gathering in the hall for the morning meal.”
She hid her face against his chest. “I don’t think I could face your parents.”
“Why not?”
“They’ll be furious when they find out we’re together. They don’t want you marrying someone who is only going to leave in a year.”
“We aren’t getting married—at least, not the last time I checked.”
She didn’t answer. She traced a swirl around his chest and followed it down to his navel where it subsided into the hair along his belly.
“Don’t tell me you want to get married.”
“How could I marry you? I’m not going to stay on this planet.”
“Answer me. Do you want to marry me? Tell the truth.”
She looked up into his eyes. “I don’t understand those words anymore. I only know I want to be with you. When I think about leaving after a year, something tears in my heart. I gave myself to you, and I never want to be separated from you.”
“Then don’t leave.”
“I have to leave. If I stayed here, I would have to turn my back on everything I know. I would have to turn my back on my career, my sister, my nephew—everything. When the shuttle came to take the rest of the team home, I would stay behind with no way to contact anybody. I would probably never see my own people again.”
“And if you do leave, you’ll turn your back on me. You have to make your choice, but you don’t have to make it now. You have a whole year. You might get tired of me and change your mind.”
Her hips flexed, and she wrapped her thighs around his legs. “I’ll never get tired of this, and I could never find a man like you among the Allies.”
“Think it over. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I couldn’t face your parents and the rest of your family over the breakfast table if I wasn’t sure in my mind what I wanted to do.”
“Then I suppose you’re going to get very hungry.”
She punched him in the ribs. “You clod! You’re supposed to help me.”
He howled and contorted in mock pain. “Oh, the tragedy of a submissive man with a dominant woman!”
She punched him again. “Stop fooling. This is serious business.”
He wiped a tear away from his eye and bit back laughter. “Of course, it is. I’m sorry. I’ll be serious about it.”
“You will not. You’re making fun of me.”
He sat up and stretched. “That’s because it really isn’t as serious as you make it out to be. You have nothing to worry about with my parents. You just have to make up your own mind what you want to do. Do you want to have a good time with me for a year and then go home to your straw men?”
“I told you not to call them that.”
“Whatever they are, do you really want to go home to them? Do you really want to look forward to a life with one of them?”
“I’d rather die.”
“Then stay here. It’s that simple. If my parents understand that you hold no connection with me after one year, they’ll be happy to see you go. The choice is yours.”
“What about you? Don’t you have a choice to make?”
“I already made it. I’ll take as much of you as I can get. If you really want to go home to….to Whitney as your future, I sure won’t try to stop you. I’ll enjoy you while you’re here, and when you leave, I’ll kiss you good-bye and say good luck.”
“And then what will you do?”
“I’ll keep looking for a mate among our Clans. I’m sure I’ll find someone one of these days.”
“Don’t you already know pretty much all the available women?”
“Pretty much.”
“And you don’t want any of them?”
“No. I want you.”
“So, you would be happy if I stayed?”
“I would be ecstatic.”
“And would we get married?”
“If you stayed here, we would be married. That’s what marriage is.”
“Is there any kind of ceremony to seal the couple’s commitment?”
“The couple goes home together. That’s the seal. The woman goes to live with the man’s Clan. Then they’re married.”
“I see.”
He got out of bed. “I’m hungry. I’m going down to breakfast. You can stay here as long as you want.”
“I’m getting up, too. I have work to do today, and I have to face your parents for that, anyway.”
“What are you going to tell them about you and me?”
“I have no idea.”
“One of these days, someone’s going to see you coming into or out of my room.”
“And doesn’t that mean we’re already married?”
“Not if you plan to leave in a year.”
She pulled on her clothes. He bent over and kissed her. Then he left the room.
She took a little longer to leave. She studied his room in every detail. It was nothing but a man cave, with none of the fancy decorations she’d seen in any other room in this Keep. She must be the first female ever to set foot inside it.
No curtains hung around the window. Nothing interrupted a perfect view of the eastern mountains. Reyna gazed into the distance. These openings in the mountainside really were the perfect launching place for a flying creature to soar out into the distance.
How wonderful the Krataks’ life must be. They could fly over this pristine countryside to their neighbor Keeps and come back to their warm, solid home under the mountain whenever they wanted. As she stood there, a green dragon she hadn’t seen before sailed across her field of view. It disappeared somewhere around the other side of the mountain.
A deep sense of rightness filled her soul. Compared to the canned existence the Allies world offered her, this planet fulfilled a desire welling up from the bottom of her being. She never wanted to leave this place.
When she repeated Damen’s words about going back to a future populated with Whitneys—a population of straw men and straw women—a deathly chill gripped her heart. She couldn’t go back to that. She could never touch one of those men again.
She couldn’t face Damen’s family yet, either. What would she tell them? Oh, by the way, I just want to fuck your son for a few months and then I’ll leave him alone? Telling them she intended to marry him would destroy the last shred of legitimacy in the research team. Reyna dreaded breaking the news to Rose more than anyone.
She couldn’t look Rose in the eye and say those words. She could never tell Rose pointblank she was staying on the planet and they would never see each other again. A lump stuck in her throat when she thought about losing Rose. Screwing around with Damen was one thing. Losing the touchstone of her life was taking this whole business too far.
The Allies meant nothing to Reyna. She could walk away from the career she worked a lifetime to build. She could turn her back on people she trusted and cared for and respected. She could never turn her back on Rose.
She sighed. That made up her mind. She had to leave Damen, no matter how hard it would be. She took one long last look around the room. Her professional self told her never to come back here, to break it off with Damen and stick her nose in her work. That was the only way to reconcile all the warring desires in her heart.
She walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. She drew it closed with a soft click. She didn’t want to disturb the secret hidden inside. It would stay buried in her heart for the rest of her life. It would color every relationship and nag at her dreams. She would fly back here in her sleep and roll in Damen’s arms, only to wake up to a cold, loveless existence on some faraway planet. Her life would remain here.
She found her way back down to the hall, but by the time she sat down and ate something, the rest of the team already started moving away. Rose couldn’t stop talking about Moira, and the Krataks kept quiet. Reyna grabbed something to eat, but she couldn’t escape Rowan and Fay studying her from across the table. Did they suspect she spent last night in Damen’s room?
She bolted her food and got up, but before she could leave the room, Fay intercepted her. “You’re the genealogist, aren’t you? If you come with me, I’ll show you our family records.”
Reyna’s eyes popped open. “Really? Thank you.”
Fay led her back to the hidden stairway Haya used to descend to the underground chamber. Fay turned off at a different level just below the central hall and showed Reyna into a big, bright room lined on every wall with shelves climbing up to the ceiling. Every shelf groaned with stacks of papers and books. A thick coating of dust covered everything, even the chairs. “Hardly anybody comes here anymore. This is our family library.”
Reyna stared at the place. “Where do I start?”
Fay faced her. “Before you do that, I want to talk to you about Damen.”
Reyna’s blood ran cold. “Okay.”
“I didn’t bring you here out of the kindness of my heart or because I suddenly decided to help your mission. We all still believe the Allies harbor secret plans to take over this planet.” She held up her hand. “Don’t argue about that. Just listen to what I have to say.”
Reyna kept silent and waited.
“We all know what’s going on between you and Damen. You don’t have to hide it.”
“I just don’t want to offend you, especially after you already told me you don’t approve of me.”
“We have no objection to you as a person. We simply want Damen to marry someone from his own people.”
“I understand that, and I want you to know I don’t plan to stay here beyond the end of the year. Whatever’s going on between me and Damen will remain casual. I should really break it off with him. I have a job to do.”
“You don’t have to break it off with him. You just shouldn’t sell yourself short. You have a sweetheart from your own world already.”
“Who? Do you mean Whitney? No, everything’s over between me and Whitney. I could never take a sweetheart from my own people again. Damen has ruined them for me.”
“Ruined them—how?”
“I just couldn’t take a sweetheart from them again. I don’t want a man like that anymore. I want a man like Damen. He’s the only one I want.”
Fay stared at her. Then she sank into a chair with her head on her hand. “Oh, my dear. I’m so sorry.”
“What do you have to be sorry about? You didn’t do anything.”
“I had no idea you felt that way about Damen. I thought you were toying with him. I had no idea you were so serious about him.”
“Serious? I don’t think so. I made up my mind not to stay here for him. I couldn’t turn my back on my sister. We’ve been together all our lives. If I stayed here, I would never see her again. I can say good-bye to everything else, but not to her.”
Fay sighed. “If you made up your mind, then that’s all there is to say about it. I just want you to know you would be very welcome to stay here if you chose to. None of us would object to you marrying Damen if that’s what you both want. We simply want him to stay here, with his family, to take a wife and have his own children here on Kratak where we can see him. That’s all.”
Reyna’s head came up. “Do you really approve of me and Damen? Is my leaving really the only objection you could have to our relationship?”
“Of course. What did you think we objected to?”
“I thought you objected because I’m an alien, and because I come from a female-dominated world you see as an enemy. I thought you wanted to keep me and Damen apart for political reasons.”
Fay laughed. “No, no. Nothing like that. You’re a very nice person. Everyone on your team has been unfailing polite to us, even when your sister disagrees with us.”
Reyna took the chair next to her. Her heart went out to this reserved older woman. Of course, she didn’t want to lose her sons, especially since their Clan was already so small. They wanted everyone to stay close to home so they could keep their close-knit family connections. Anybody could understand that.
“Tell me about yourself. Tell me about your home Clan and your life. I want to get to know you better—if you don’t mind, that is.”
Fay leaned back in her chair, and a contented smile spread over her face. “Of course, I don’t mind. I was born in Prowiss Keep, far to the north of here. It’s a wonderful country there, full of snow-capped peaks and ice caves. My brother Connal and I used to explore the country together, sometimes for days at a time. We would go out and stay out. My parents soon learned not to worry about us.”
“Does your brother still live in your family Keep there?”
“Yes, he’s married with his own children, but I haven’t seen him in years.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“At the gathering where I married Rowan. He married his wife at the same gathering, but as is our custom, I came back here with Rowan and he stayed at home with his wife.”
“So, you’ve never seen his children, either? Don’t you see each other at gatherings?”
“Prowiss Keep is too far away. We don’t get together for gatherings, and the longer I stay here, the easier it is to stay here. My son Rahni sees them sometimes, though.”
Reyna pricked up her ears. “Your son Rahni?”
“Yes, my oldest son. He travels up north several times a year. He knows his cousins and their families better than anyone.”
“I keep hearing about Rahni. He sounds like a very interesting person.”
“He is. He’s…let’s just say he’s unique.”
“Does he tell you about your family? Does he tell you everyone’s alive and well up there?”
“I’m sure I would hear if they weren’t.”
“Do you have any other siblings?”
“I have two sisters, both married into other Clans, and I have two other brothers. My other two brothers are much older, then my two sisters, and then me and Connal are very close in age. I’m the youngest. My brothers married when I was still young, so I never got as close to them as I did to Connal.”
“And your sisters?”
“They were much more concerned with finding husbands. That left Connal as my closest playmate.”
“Did he feel the loss as much as you did when you moved away?”
“I don’t think I felt the loss. I was wrapped up in Rowan, and then I started having children. I imagine Connal felt the loss more than I did, since he stayed at home in our Keep without his old confidante. I suspect he replaced me with his wife, though. That’s usually how it works, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been without my sister. We were connected by a bond stronger than blood from my earliest memories. We both entered the service together, and we made sure we studied for careers where we could work together. We’ve always been together and confided in each other—at least, until now.”
“And now? What has happened now?”
“I don’t know what happened. Rose has some secret she’s keeping from me and the rest of the team. This is the first time she’s kept anything from me, and it’s driving us apart.”
“I think I know what her secret is. Would you like me to tell you?”
Reyna’s head shot up. “You do? What is it?”
“She’s in love with Rohn. She loves Rohn just as much as you love Damen.”
A flood of images rushed into Reyna’s mind. Of course! Rose started acting strangely when she took Rohn to her room. They couldn’t keep their eyes off each other ever since. Then Rohn rescued Rose in the forest. They must have connected out there.
“She might love him as much as I love Damen, but she would never stay on this planet. She’s a career physician and commander of our team. She would never let herself get swept away by a man.”
“And you would?”
“I never would have before, but I am now.”