Chapter 19
Mira
Neither Blaine nor I spoke on the car ride home.
I was too wrapped up in the emotional turmoil of what had just happened, and I imagined he was still seething away with anger, at least if the dark look on his face was anything to go by.
When we got home, I went straight up the stairs and threw myself on my bed, burrowing into the duvet. As I lay there, clutching my blankets like a protective shield, my mind went over everything that had been said in that conference room. At first it took all I had not to start crying again, but the more times my thoughts looped, the more they focused on what Blaine had said rather than what my father had. What he’d done.
It was the first time in my entire life anyone had stood up for me. My mother never had the courage nor the strength to do so. She had chosen to accept the abuse instead. I remembered that once I had cried on her shoulder as a little girl over a particularly vicious beating, and she had told me I brought it on myself with my bad behavior.
But not Blaine. He hadn’t told me what was done to me was my own fault. And he hadn’t seen me as a victim, either.
Somehow, seeing his anger on my behalf and knowing he didn’t find me weak and pathetic for what I’d gone through finally gave me the strength to do the same. I had survived years of abuse and come out the other side of it. I was stronger than most people.
I was a survivor.
Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes again, but this time, they were from relief. It felt like a knot in my stomach that had been there so long I’d stopped noticing it finally came undone.
And in some weird, fucked up way, it came undone because of Blaine.
As if summoned by my thoughts, a low knocking on my door announced Blaine’s arrival. He walked in without waiting for my answer.
He’d changed out of the suit and back into his usual T-shirt-and-jeans attire, but his face was still set in the same grim lines as when we drove home.
“Hey,” I croaked.
“Hey,” he said. And then he crossed the room to my bed and climbed in behind me. His arm wrapped around my waist as his body curved around my back, shielding and supporting me.
I closed my eyes and leaned back into his embrace, too emotionally exhausted to protest the unexpected closeness. I didn’t care that I wasn’t supposed to let him touch me, that our relationship up until now certainly hadn’t paved the way for physical closeness like this. All I cared about was that being held by Blaine right now felt better than anything had before.
We lay in silence for a little while, but it was the comfortable kind. The kind that let me feel the press of his muscles against my back, hear his slow breaths in my ear, and smell the faint trace of his cologne without anything disturbing the tranquil enjoyment of the simple, sensory experience of being held this close.
“When I came to see you, I’d just found out my father got my brother locked up on purpose. As punishment. Isaac disobeyed him, refused to kill someone who had snitched on us.” Blaine spoke softly, but his mouth was pressed lightly against the side of my head just above my ear, so I heard the pain in his voice perfectly.
“He always taught us that you stick with family, no matter what. Always. Turns out, that doesn’t count if you disobey him in any way. He gave his own son over to the police, Mira. My brother. It’s… it’s the deepest betrayal. I was so angry. I waited outside my father’s house… at night. I had a gun. I…”
I put a hand on the forearm he had wrapped around my waist, offering him what comfort I could as he fought himself to finally share what had made him desperate enough to seek me out.
“I wanted to kill him,” he whispered. “I was going to kill him. I would have, if I hadn’t seen Louis and Liam through the window. They were visiting him—I didn’t know. I’ve killed before, but I’ve never wanted to as badly as I did that night. It scared me. It still scares me.”
“Do you still want to kill him?” I asked, giving his arm a gentle stroke to ease the roughness in his voice.
He paused for a moment, as if to mull over his answer. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I hate him, Mira. I hate him so much, and it’s not meant to be like that. He’s my father, and if I don’t love him, then I need to at least respect him. Trust his leadership. And I thought I did—until…”
“Until he showed you you can’t.”
Blaine inhaled deeply, his hot breath tickling my ear. “Yes.”
“There comes a time in all our lives when we have to take a step back and decide if the path we’re on is one we have freely chosen, or if we are blindly following because it is what is expected of us,” I said, twining my fingers with his. His hand was so much bigger than mine, it practically spanned the whole side of my stomach.
Blaine gave my fingers a small squeeze but didn’t move his hand from my grasp. “Is that shrink-Mira speaking, then?”
I smiled at his slightly sardonic tone. “Yeah. It is. My point is, you are experiencing this anger because everything you have been taught was right turned out not to be the One Truth. It’s an understandable reaction. You have had your entire foundation pulled from under you. Of course you’re angry. And scared. But rather than turn that anger at your father, perhaps it’s time to choose your own Truth now. Find your own path.”
“I can’t do what you did. I can’t leave my family. I love my brothers, my crew…” The way he paused made it sound like he’d stopped before finishing the sentence, but he didn’t continue.
“You don’t have to. But you can choose not to let your father have the same power over you anymore.”
He snorted, and I gave his fingers a squeeze to let him know I wasn’t done.
“I know how it goes, he’s the Big Boss. His word is law. But he can’t control your emotions if you don’t let him. And—you now see him for what he really is. That gives you a lot of power in how you choose to act on his commands.”
He was quiet for a long time, and I thought he wasn’t going to say anything else. But just as my eyes started to drift shut, he spoke again.
“You’re a pretty smart bird, aren’t you?” he hummed against my ear. His lips brushed against my lobe, raising pleasant goosebumps down the back of my neck.
I chuckled. “Sure. As long as I just need to dispense advice, rather than follow it myself.”
“I’m not so sure… I don’t know anyone who would have the strength to do what you did, Mira.”
Something in his tone made my cheeks warm. It was… admiration, unsoiled by the sarcasm I could have expected from him. When he released my fingers to press his hand against my stomach on top of my scars, my breath turned shaky and my pulse sped up.
Carefully, as if he were trying not to spook a frightened animal, he eased my top up until it rested under my breasts, and raised up on one elbow so he could trace the scars with a fingertip. “Is this why you stopped me? On the stairs? You didn’t want me to see?”
I swallowed thickly at the reminder of what had happened between us when he’d chased me up the stairs and pinned me to the floor. He was so close now, and though the gentleness with which he was touching me was in sharp contrast to that night, it was no less effective in making my body hum with mounting desire. I didn’t know how to respond, so I just looked at his handsome face as he brushed over my scars, his eyes following the movements of his finger from underneath hooded lids.
“They are battle scars, Mira. Proof of how strong you are. They just make you even more beautiful.”
When I didn’t answer, he flicked his gaze from my stomach to my face, his gray eyes locking with mine. There was unmistakable heat in them, but it seemed different this time. Less aggressive, even though the intensity still made my stomach flip and my body tingle with awareness.
Slowly, Blaine leaned down toward me. My heart picked up speed again, drumming wildly behind my ribs. Anticipation warred with anxiety over what was happening between us and how everything seemed to have changed in the span of a day. But mostly, I just wanted him to kiss me. Needed him to, though I didn’t know why. All I knew was that I might die if he didn’t.
He shifted on the bed above and behind me until his lips were inches from mine. I looked up at him, faintly aware that I was breathing heavily, and nearly came undone from the look of pure need in his intense gaze.
“Say you want me to,” he whispered, and his breath made electricity spark off every nerve in my body.
I reached up and tangled my fingers in his black, tousled hair. It was silky soft and so completely at odds with his hard body hovering above me.
“I do.”
Blaine kissed me, his soft lips descending on mine with urgent need.
I clenched my fingers in his hair and kissed him back with a desperation I hadn’t known I possessed. It was as if the hollow place in my chest I’d carried around for so many years was ripped wide open, and for every time our frantic lips met, it soothed the waves of loneliness and pain I’d been too scared to face. Until today. With him.
I reached for his belt with an urgency that made him chuckle against my lips. When I got to his zipper it turned to a low groan, and his own hands began grasping for my clothes.
With some maneuvering he managed to pull my top and bra off before I could get any further with his pants. I growled into his mouth with frustration, earning myself a full laugh this time.
Obliging me, Blaine sat up and shrugged out of his T-shirt.
I stared up at all that bare, tattooed skin, drawing in a sharp breath at the sight. Everything about him made me ache with need.
He was lean rather than bulgy, but the strength in his frame was unquestionable. Screw six packs—Blaine had at least a freaking eight-pack, as far as I could count in my less than math-inclined state. I reached out and let my hand slide up across his taut abdomen, enjoying the stacks of hard muscle underneath my fingers. A fine tremor went through his body when I reached the center of his chest and spread my hand out above the place his heart beat. I looked up and was caught off guard by the raw expression in his gray eyes.
“I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I want you,” he said, his voice rough. Something in its pitch made my nipples harden and my pulse move down south of my navel.
“Why?” It was the question that had haunted me from that night at the hotel, even if I had done my best to pretend like it didn’t. “Why do you want me?”
The corner of Blaine’s mouth quirked up, but the heat in his eyes only seemed to flame. “Because you’re a fucking goddess.” He brushed his hands up my stomach and fanned his fingers out when he came to my chest, pushing my full breasts up in a lewd display. “I love your tits, your round hips, your smart mouth.”
“Oh,” I croaked, my attention wavering as his thumbs feathered over my already pebbled nipples. He shifted his grip to pinch at both peaks with just the right amount of pressure, and I moaned in response. My body reacted to him like a finely tuned instrument, responding to even his lightest touch. The molten sensation in my pussy made me painfully aware that I was more than ready for him.
“Blaine, I need you inside, now,” I said, reaching once again for his belt.
Blaine caught my wrists before I touched the strap of leather, pushing me down flat on my back. “Not yet.”
I frowned, frustration seeping in through my lust-filled haze. “Why the hell not?”
He raised an eyebrow at my impatience and gave my wrists a squeeze to ensure I kept them still before he moved to hover above me, his hips resting between my widespread thighs. I arched my pelvis up and he thrust down hard, giving me a sharp jolt of blissful friction right where I needed it.
“Yes,” I moaned, attempting to roll my hips up again for more, but he kept my lower body pinned to the mattress.
“Trust me, love,” he whispered, letting his hot breath gust over my chest. I groaned with frustration.
“I’ll trust you once you’re inside of me!”
“Shh,” Blaine admonished. And then his lips found mine. His kiss was scorching and left me panting, but he didn’t linger. With small nips and hot kisses he trailed up my jawline until he got to my earlobe.
“Every time I see your beautiful body, I want to bend you over and fuck you raw. But if I do that, I miss out on this—on touching every inch of your skin and knowing it makes you ache for it, just as much as I do. I want you to beg for my cock, baby, and I want you to mean it,” he murmured into my ear, the brush of his lips against the lobe raising goosebumps with anticipation.
“I mean it now. Please, Blaine, please,” I breathed shakily. “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this.”
His lips curved in a devious smile. “Then imagine how badly you’ll want it in about half an hour or so.”
“God, you’re such a prick,” I whined, but without much conviction. Every nerve where his lips had touched me was buzzing with a near-electric awareness, rendering me incapable of gathering my thoughts.
With a hum of amusement Blaine dipped his head to my throat, and I stopped trying to think.
Heat spread in warm waves for every kiss he placed along my jugular, dipping ever lower as he reached my clavicle and lapped at the hollow with his tongue.
I moaned, long and wantonly, clutching at the sheets to keep my hands anchored above my head. As much as I wanted to feel his thick cock force me wide open, I relished in the exquisite torture of his slow caresses.
“Christ, even your skin tastes like sex,” Blaine groaned. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
Even if I had known what to answer, I wouldn’t have been capable, because just then, he moved further down my chest and sucked an achingly erect nipple into his hot mouth.
“Ohh, fuck, Blaine!” I moaned, almost losing my grip on the sheets.
He flicked his tongue over the tight little bud and then sucked it deeper into his mouth with short, hard pulls that made me cry out and my clit pulse in sympathy.
When he finally released my nipple with a wet pop, I was panting hard and squirming my hips against his in a desperate attempt at getting more stimulation.
“You have the best fucking tits in the world,” he growled—and then he lowered his head to my other breast while simultaneously shifting a leg in between my thighs, lifting it up high enough to rub deliciously against the seam of my jeans.
When he sucked hard on the nipple now trapped in the hot cavern of his mouth, I nearly came.
Nearly—because when I cried out and bucked against his thigh, seconds from reaching my climax, the bastard pulled back, leaving my throbbing body without even the faintest stimulation.
“Blaine!” It was meant as a curse, but it came out breathy and so, so needy.
He fell back down on top of me, but this time, he only gave my breasts a couple of light kisses before he moved further down.
My breath exploded out of my lungs when he trailed his tongue down my soft flesh.
When he got to my scars, he paused, his lips hovering over the very top of them.
I raised up on my elbows to watch him, a small part of me needing to see if he had really meant what he said earlier—about finding them beautiful.
The heat in his eyes when he caught my gaze made me shiver.
“You are the singularly most gorgeous woman on this Earth,” Blaine whispered. He bent his head and placed a lingering kiss on the scar highest up on my abdomen.
“So strong.”
Another kiss.
“So brave.
Another kiss
“So fucking sexy.”
Each touch of his lips against my marred skin trailed lower and lower, not missing a single scar. By the time he reached the waist of my jeans, every drop of blood in my body was on fire.
Blaine sat up, undoing my jeans with skilled speed before he pulled them and my panties over my hips and arse in one go, easily disposing of them in seconds.
When he returned his focus to me, his eyes were smoldering and his lips curved into a smirk that nearly set my panties on fire. “Ready to start begging, love?”
“Yeah-huh,” I groaned, desperately hoping I’d be able to form words.
“Good.” He moved down further on the bed until he could lay down flat between my legs, his mouth positioned right above my throbbing pussy. His breath blew across my already soaking folds, sending spikes of wild hunger shivering through my body.
The first brush of his tongue over my lips made me whimper and clutch my hands so hard around the sheets that they ripped.
Blaine made an appreciative noise at the back of his throat. “You taste fucking amazing.” It was a low growl, and the heady tones went right to my spine.
I arched up, only to be met with the forceful thrust of the full length of his tongue. He drove in between my lips, parting them from my weeping entrance and all the way up to my pulsing clit in one, long lick.
I cried out, finally losing the battle to keep my hands above my head. When he began lapping circles around my nub of nerves, I grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled him as close as I could against me, craving more.
Blaine didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He grabbed my squirming legs and hiked my thighs over his shoulders, before finally closing his lips around my clit to suck deeply.
Once, twice, three times, and I came crashing over the edge, screaming like a banshee.
Every muscle in my body seized to a single, tight knot of hypersensitive flesh, pushed over cliff after cliff by Blaine’s persistent suckling on my clit. Only when I collapsed back down on the bed, too weak to move, did he ease up on my pulsing flesh. With a few, gentle kisses he lifted his head to look at me. Despite his smug smirk, the hunger in his eyes was unmistakable.
“Oh my God, Blaine,” I gasped. “How did you do that? I think… I think I just had an orgasm with my entire body.”
“I aim to please,” he said, giving me a cheeky wink before he dove back in
“Ooh!” My toes curled at the feel of his silky, yet strong laps up the center of my pussy. But what should have been too much so shortly after such a mind-shattering orgasm proved to feel just right. Blaine avoided my clit, kissing, licking and sucking his way up my slick folds until my pleasure-numbed body began to mount once more. I don’t know how long he spent reawakening every nerve in my sex, but before he returned his attention to my clit, my hands were once again buried in his hair.
“Come on, Blaine, please,” I begged, tugging at his black locks. “Don’t tease, please. Oh God, I need you.”
I swear, I could feel his smirk against my lower lips as he ghosted the very tip of his tongue across my aching clit.
“Yess!” I hissed, attempting to press my pelvis up against him.
Before I could get anywhere, Blaine released my left leg, letting it flop back down on the mattress so he could shift his grip on me—and once again change his focus from my clit.
I cried out with frustration, but my displeasure cut off when two long fingers slipped into my opening, stretching me deliciously before they curved after my G-spot.
“Oh, yes!” I gasped. Ohh, yes, that was what I needed! In my desperate desire for Blaine’s tongue I had nearly forgotten what I truly craved from him.
Blaine slipped another finger into my tight sheath and began thrusting slowly, making sure he rubbed the soft bit of flesh on my frontal wall.
I bucked and squirmed, lost on pleasure so intense my eyes teared up. But when he finally pressed the flat side of his tongue against my clit, my hands flew up to his forehead, stopping him.
“No, no, not like that. I need you to fuck me, please, oh God, please just fuck me! I want to come on your cock, not your fingers.”
Blaine withdrew his fingers before he lifted up, kneeling between my thighs. The look on his face was enough to make my pussy clench.
“I am going to fuck you until you can’t take any more,” he growled while opening his pants. “I’ll give you every inch I’ve got, and I’m going to make you come on me so hard you won’t be able to walk straight, baby.”
I swallowed at the sight of his hard cock. Blaine had a lot of inches to give, and though I knew from experience he’d fit, it was impossible not to blanch a little at the prospect of taking all of him.
Blaine trailed a couple of fingers up through my slit, making me shiver with renewed want.
“You’re soaking, love,” he said, voice as gruff as I’d ever heard it. He leaned forward, supporting his weight on one hand. The other he used to guide his cock to my pussy.
The feel of him against my opening made me draw in a quick breath that turned to a low whimper when he slowly pushed in, spreading me wide on his thick girth.
“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he groaned. “So slick and warm.”
I was too busy panting and moaning to reply. There was a slight pain from being opened so wide, but mainly, feeling him sliding into the very depths of my being was out-of-this-world amazing. He was gentle with me, in sharp contrast to our first time together, but he never stopped pushing into me until his cock was finally fully hilted. I could feel every single one of his heart beats from where we were connected. I had never been so close with another human being—it felt like our bodies were made for each other, like all I had waited for my entire life was to be one with this man.
I looked up into his eyes and saw a similar expression of revelry painted across Blaine’s features.
Then he pulled back, groaning deeply from pleasure, only to thrust back in again the next second. And again. And again.
My world exploded into a wave of sensory ecstasy. The feel of him was so full and so, so good, his thick cock dragging deliciously against my g-spot and filling me past full over and over and over.
I rolled my hips up for more, crying out from being too full, and then did it again—and again, digging my nails into Blaine’s strong hips to ensure he didn’t pull away.
Not that I’d needed to.
After ensuring I was open enough to take all of him, Blaine had seemingly had enough of taking it slow. He lifted my thighs over his arms, grabbed my hips tight, and pulled back up for more leverage. And then he fucked me. Hard.
I screamed until my throat was sore, thrashing on the bed as I took his cock to the hilt over and over. The wet sounds from my desperately clenching pussy were emphasized by the slapping of flesh as his hips beat against my arse, like an audible proof of just how deep he was going.
It was bliss—the perfect mixture of bone-shattering pleasure from the delicious friction and a full, stretching sort of pain from just how hard I was getting pummeled by Blaine’s brutal cock.
I came with a sobbing cry, my pussy clenching down hard on his girth as euphoria made my entire body seize. He fucked me through it, ignoring my pleas for a break until they turned into hard gasps of “more” and “harder.” Then he complied, pounding into me like a man possessed.
I came again, my orgasm rocketing through my entire body with all the power of an exploding star, and again before I’d ever had a chance to ebb from the first, powerful climax.
On my fourth peak, he came with me.
Blaine groaned deep in his throat, his thrusts turning slightly more erratic until finally, I felt a hot rush of liquid flooding deep inside of me.
He stilled above me, moaning softly as my pussy milked his cock for all he had with tight little spasms while I slowly came down from my own high.
It took several minutes before I was even capable of anything but breathing. But when I looked up at him, warmth spread from my chest to the rest of my already sweaty body.
His eyes were alight with happiness, and the expression in them made my toes curl, despite all my muscles being seemingly out of function. There was so much affection in his gaze it took my breath away. When he bent his head to kiss me, I wrapped my trembling arms around his neck and closed my eyes, certain I’d finally found what I’d been looking for my entire life.
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