After that, I tried to keep it together for Derrick and Elyse. I was miserable, and Nico seemed to be too, but that was no reason for the twins to be. Every day I played and laughed and joked with them. Did they ever notice that my smile never reached my eyes? Perhaps not… all those years of acting served me well.

When I wasn’t with them, the devastation returned and hit hard. I spent hours in my bed or looking out the window, bundled up even though it was no longer cold inside the castle. Somehow, it felt like wrapping myself in layers of sweaters and scarves could keep the bad feelings at bay.

But it didn’t work. If anything, those layers trapped them inside with me.

When I’d first started getting close to Nico, I hadn’t thought about the endgame. About where it would—or wouldn’t—lead. Instead, I’d been like any other young woman falling in love. I’d thrilled to each new experience. Rejoiced as we grew closer. I hadn’t thought ahead to what our future might hold.

Nico had.

He’d known all along that we couldn’t stay together. Anger would’ve been easier to handle than this overwhelming sorrow, yet I still couldn’t really hold that against him. When would he have mentioned it? At the beginning? As in: Hello, I’m your new employer and I can’t marry you. That would’ve been absurd.

Maybe he’d just been taking it one day at a time as I had. Maybe he, too, had wanted to believe that we had a chance even when we didn’t. I probed my feelings, trying to muster up anger for that but I couldn’t. There was only sadness for what could never be.

Nico was clearly trying to maintain normalcy in front of the children, too. Fortunately, Derrick and Elyse were pretty preoccupied. Their eighth birthday was coming up, and Gretchen was determined to make it a special one. She’d been planning their party for weeks, and she’d involved me in every step. I think she sensed that it was better for me to keep busy when possible.

The invitation list was a bit of a nightmare. Gretchen was in charge of it in theory, but I suspected that the queen had spoken with her. A dozen children from town were invited. Gretchen said they were grandchildren of the queen’s friends whom the twins met with occasionally. It seemed a little odd, however, that in the four months I’d been here, I’d never met any of them.

That made me realize how isolated Elyse and Derrick were. However, after what happened to Nico and me in London, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Still… it was a shame. Now that they’d opened up a bit more, they needed friends who weren’t adults. Or falcons.

At my insistence, Von had been invited to perform a puppet show. I hadn’t seen him much lately. We’d gotten to the point where we could work on polishing his play online, and when I’d got more involved with Nico, I stopped going into town to meet Von in person.

Still, it would be great to see him. I just hoped that the queen—who would be attending the birthday party—wouldn’t treat him like some sort of court jester.

The morning of the party, Elyse and Derrick were so excited that I wouldn’t have been surprised if one of them hadn’t just burst into a million pieces. Gretchen was as amused as I was. “Princess Elyse, if you don’t hold still, I’m never going to be able to get your dress zipped up.”

Out of deference to the queen, Elyse had agreed to wear a pretty pale blue party dress, but we’d promised that after cake and presents, she could change into her Merida costume.

I watched as Gretchen brushed the little girl’s hair. It fell to her shoulders and had a nice bounce to it. The head housekeeper had done a good job of fixing it after Elyse cut it off herself.

I went to Derrick’s room to check on him, and paused at the doorway, my breath leaving me abruptly. There were not one, but two princes in the room. Nico had put on his dress uniform, and the sight of it stopped me in my tracks. He stood straight and tall in his red jacket, tan pants, and black riding boots. He’d shaved, and his hair was slicked back, and it was like a slap to the heart. Why did he have to look so good when he couldn’t be mine?

Derrick was dressed as a miniature Nico, and the nearly identical garb showed how much he looked like his dad. Someday he’d be a heart-breaker, too.

Nico noticed my arrival. “You look very nice,” he said awkwardly but not insincerely.

I’d put on a soft gray wrap-around dress. “Thank you. You too.” He stared at me for a moment too long before turning back to his son. The look in his eyes stunned me. He was still hurting, too. I didn’t know what to do with that knowledge—I could hardly manage my own pain. I couldn’t worry about his.

The party started off well. I kept my distance from the queen and she, for her part, seemed to have no desire to ruffle anyone’s feathers. During Von’s puppet show, she watched the children with as benevolent an expression as I’d ever seen. I hadn’t been entirely sure she even knew how to smile, but she at least got close.

Afterward, the twins opened presents. I gathered that this wasn’t generally a custom at royal birthday parties, but Nico had insisted. Gretchen told me privately that he wanted an American-style party like the twins had had for their fifth birthday in the States.

Somehow, the word had gotten out that Elyse liked Disney Princesses, and she received a lot of gifts and apparel related to that. Apparently, I wasn’t the only person in Falkenberg with an Amazon account. Derrick’s presents ranged from Legos to games.

When it was time for me to give my presents, I walked over to the sofa where the twins were sitting. I handed Elyse a small wrapped gift and she hopped up and hugged me before she even opened it. Derrick followed suit. Moisture flooded my eyes… it was hard to believe that after a month and a half, I wouldn’t be a part of their lives anymore. It was a painful thought.

“Let’s open them at the same time,” Derrick said since it was obvious their presents were the same size.

Elyse nodded and they carefully lifted off the paper. I wondered if they would’ve just torn into it if their grandmother hadn’t been here.

They both stared at my gifts for a moment.

“What is it?” Nico asked from across the room.

“A book,” Elyse said. “Mine’s called The Princess and the Bow.”

“Mine’s called The Prince and the Falcon.” Derrick added. Then he opened the cover and chose a page at random. “It’s us!”

Nico walked over to stand next to the children as they flipped through the books I’d made for them. It had been a simple matter to upload the photos I’d taken of them and arrange the layout online. It had been a bit harder to fit their exploits of the last few months into the context of a story, but trying to make it work had helped me focus on something other than Nico. After I’d finalized everything, it had been easy to order hardback copies of the books.

“This is amazing,” Nico said, now sitting next to Elyse and watching as she started reading from the beginning. “What do you two say to Miss Andrews?” Nico asked as the queen looked on.

“Thank you,” they both said, and ran over for another hug.

Damn it, I still had six weeks left with them. Why were the tears threatening to run down my face now?

After the party, I helped Von pack up his puppets, stage, and props. He was in a great mood—the children had loved his performance.

“Those books were amazing,” He said. “Maybe you should switch from writing plays to writing children’s books.”

“I don’t have plans to write either at the moment.”

“But what about when you start graduate school in the fall? Won’t you study writing then?”

“Perhaps a course or two.” I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t paid much attention to the required classes. “Most of them will be literature classes.”

Von was thoughtful. “When I was in school, I always preferred writing my own things over endlessly debating every detail of other people’s writing.”

“Me too.”

“Yet you’ve spent hours helping me with my play. You’re a good friend, Cara.”

I smiled, my eyes moist yet again. What was with me today? But I was definitely going to miss Von when I left, too. “So are you,” I said. “The twins really enjoyed your show.”

“And now I can put on my resume that I’ve performed for a head of state.”

“That’s right, you can. Be sure to say that you wrote the play, too.”

Von raised an eyebrow at me. “But it was a puppet show.”

“Yes, and the puppets were playacting.”

“Maybe you should become a counselor and help people pad their resumes,” he said.

I couldn’t help laughing. Von was a good guy. A nice, uncomplicated guy. Then I turned and saw his polar opposite—Nico standing in the doorway, watching us.

Von followed my gaze. “Thank you for inviting me to perform for your children, Your Majesty.”

Nico was impassive for a moment and then entered the room. “I’m the one who should be thanking you. Derrick and Elyse loved it. I hope you’ll consider coming back next year.”

“That would be fantastic, Your Majesty.” Von’s eyes lit up and I could tell he was already thinking about a new scenario for his show.

Nico’s gaze turned on me. “And thank you, Miss Andrews, for those books. I had no idea, when you were taking all those pictures, that you’d turn them into something like that.”

“It was my pleasure, Your Majesty.” Somehow, my words came out all formal when what I really wanted to do was to be in his office wrapped in his embrace. His hazel eyes were a bit cloudy today. Previously, I’d seen them sparkle, gleam, and even smolder. Today they looked somehow empty. The same way my heart felt.

After Von was gone, I spent an hour or two with the twins until it was time for dinner. The meal was a short, quick affair. No one was very hungry after the food and cake at the party.

Once dinner was over, Gretchen took the children up to their rooms to supervise their bath time, and I was grateful to be able to retreat to my room.

Seeing Nico today had been hard. Sure, I saw him almost every day, but today had been worse. I didn’t know why, either. Possibly because he’d been in concerned-parent mode which hit me in the hormones, to use Autumn’s phrase. Nico had gotten the children books, too. A set of fairy tales for Elyse and history books—written at a child’s level—for Derrick.

Or maybe it was seeing Nico in his uniform. After all, it had been a picture of him in that getup that had first caught my eye. If I was being honest, that was probably when my crush on him first started—long before I’d even met him.

But it wasn’t just his looks. I’d been around good-looking men before. But not one of them had affected me like Nico. He was one of a kind, and I’d never meet anyone like him again. I’d never feel the same way about anyone again.

A brisk knock interrupted the downward spiral of my thoughts.

I opened to the door to see Henrik, his posture straight and stiff. Gretchen hovered a few feet behind him, looking worried.

Henrik cleared his throat. “Her Royal Highness, Queen Margrit, requests your presence in her chambers at once.”

A heavy feeling hit my stomach and I took an involuntary step backwards. The queen wanted to talk to me? Now?

This couldn’t be good. In fact, it was downright scary. I glanced at Gretchen desperately, but she shrugged her shoulders indicating helplessness.

“Please follow me, Miss Andrews.”

With small steps, I followed in his wake, my mind a jumbled swirl of confusion and fear.