CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Eyes wide, let me see them,” the makeup artist ordered.
Lily did as she was told, letting the woman fan her lashes further. She wasn’t sure how much longer her eyelashes could possibly be.
“Pinky again,” another woman said.
Lily tilted her hand to put her pinky out. The nail artist manicuring Lily’s fingernails started her work over as a top coat of clear polish smoothed over each nail. Another woman worked on her hair, setting each of the wavy strands into perfectly managed curls that would be set up into a messy chignon.
Oddly, Lily didn’t mind all the people working around her or the attention. It wasn’t often she preferred the spotlight, but since it was her wedding day, she didn’t have much of a choice. She figured she might as well enjoy the pampering and time.
Her wedding morning started out early. Maybe a little too early considering her bachelorette party hadn’t ended until nearly two in the morning. Theo woke Lily up with breakfast and a phone call from Damian, which was nice. Theo took Lily to the spa and as far as she knew, was still waiting out in the lobby for her and Abriella to finish.
Dino, on the other hand, hadn’t shown himself that morning.
Lily wasn’t too worried about it.
“That smells amazing,” Abriella said as some coconut oil was rubbed into her hands.
“It does,” Lily agreed.
Abriella smiled, tilting her head to the side so she could look Lily over. “Are you nervous?”
Not at all.
“No,” Lily answered honestly.
“Excited?”
“Very.”
For a day that was usually high-stress and full of nonsense for other brides, Lily’s wedding day was turning out to be a quiet affair with little issues. No one bothered her for useless things or demands. Even Theo, who didn’t know how to be a quiet man, had given Lily space and silence that morning.
She was so relaxed, it was crazy.
Lily loved it.
Every day should be like this.
Abriella grinned wide. “I’m happy for you. Damian is a good guy.”
Lily nodded. “He is.”
It just took a lot for Lily to correlate the good man she knew resided inside Damian and the parts of him that did bad things.
“A few more hours,” Abriella said.
Only a few?
Lily checked the clock on the wall. Abriella was right.
“What is next?” Lily asked.
Abriella shrugged. “The church. Confession to start out new. What else?”
Great.
Lily sat in the private room, counting on the beads on her rosary. The black globes felt smooth under her fingertips as she recited the words of prayers she couldn’t ever forget. Over and over. One more time …
Penance was never really over.
Touching the rosary gave her a sense of comfort she hadn’t expected. The rosary had been a gift from someone—Lily didn’t know who—and delivered to her when she arrived at the church from Theo. He’d said nothing when he handed over the sleek, blue velvet box. Only that someone had wanted her to have them. She started her last confession before becoming a married woman with peace settling in her heart.
Something else she hadn’t expected to feel on her wedding day.
Clicking each bead on the rosary as she went through the final words, asking to be forgiven and cleansed for her past transgressions, a knock on the private room’s door broke her concentration. Lily assumed it was just the priest coming to see if she had finished.
“Come in,” Lily called, setting the rosary aside.
The door opened a crack and Theo poked his head in. Her brother flashed her with a smile that was known to dazzle women and set men off-guard. Theo had a way about him. Out of Lily’s two brothers, Theo was the more charming, likeable of the two whereas Dino had a roughness around his edges that kept people at bay.
Lily figured nobody really knew Theo well enough to know his demeanor was nothing more than a trick to draw people in. He could be just as ruthless as Dino, but he had a cleaner way about doing it.
“I’m not interrupting, am I?” Theo asked.
Lily waved at the seat across from her. In their church, confession wasn’t done in a booth, but instead a private room decorated with beautiful tapestry and rugs. Two chairs, sitting directly across from the other so the priest and the parishioner could look at one another, served as the confessional. The room was then used as a private area for penance if that’s what someone wanted.
“No, I’m done. Or as close as I’m ever going to get for today.”
Theo laughed. “Tomorrow, new sins arise.”
Lily grinned. “Always. Come in.”
Theo stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him. Lily waited as her brother moved the seat across from her so that it was positioned beside hers instead. Sitting in the ornate wood chair meant for a priest, Theo kicked his legs out and crossed his shined leather shoes at the ankles. Her brother looked sharp in his black suit with a blue tie and vest to match the color scheme of the day.
Glancing at her from the side, Theo reminded Lily of when she was young and so was he. “How’re you really doing?”
Lily shrugged. “I’m doing okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, Theo. I’m good.”
Theo sucked in a deep breath and chewed on his inner cheek. “I wondered. I mean, you keep saying that to everyone but with you, it’s hard to tell. You always were good at hiding shit when you needed to.”
Lily scoffed playfully. “Church, Theo. Watch your dam—watch your mouth.”
Theo barked out a laugh, pointing at her. “You almost said damn.”
“Shut up.”
Throwing his hands high, Theo conceded. “Fine. I did wonder. I know you didn’t choose this, Lily, and it’s probably the last thing you want to do.”
He couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Actually, I did choose it. In my own way and in my own time,” Lily said, reaching out to pat her brother’s arm gently.
“Good. I was thinking maybe I would have to steal you out of here and run you down to the Mexican border or something.”
Lily snorted under her breath. “Right. How far do you think we’d make it?”
“Oh, we’d make it. Don’t you worry your pretty little head off about that. I’d make sure of it.”
“You would never do it for real,” Lily said, teasing her brother.
Theo caught her gaze and held it. The briefest flash of something unknown passed his eyes before it disappeared. “I would have, Lily. I don’t want to see you unhappy or pushed aside. You’re too good for that, little one. You always were. You should have a man who adores and cares for you because you’re everything to him.”
Lily’s breath came out in a shuddering exhale, emotions rising. “I have one, Theo.”
“Yeah, I guess Dino didn’t do too badly after all, huh?”
“Something like that,” Lily replied.
Theo caught her hand with his own and held it tight, grounding Lily with that one action. Her brothers had never been emotional men, as far as that went. She remembered that as they grew up, the boys had been taught to shut that side of themselves off and give nothing away. Sometimes that bled over to family and Lily. Sometimes it was just cold as hell.
She understood but that didn’t make it easier on her when she was just a little girl with no mom and dad and brothers who treated her like she was just another one of the boys. Then again, Lily had always appreciated her brothers involving her in the things they did as they grew up. Especially because the three DeLuca siblings were so far apart in age, yet Theo and Dino always kept Lily close in their own way.
Lily sighed, realizing something she hadn’t before. Keeping her close when she was younger had been Theo and Dino’s way of showing her their love. She’d always thought of herself and her brothers as orphans without parents, but that wasn’t entirely true. They had each other and her brothers had been the best guardians for her.
“I love you, Theo,” Lily said, wanting her brother to know.
Theo smiled but only said, “Yeah, I know.”
He didn’t have to say it back for her to know the truth. Theo loved her, otherwise, he wouldn’t be there sitting with her when he really didn’t need to be. He hadn’t needed to take time out of the day to make sure she was okay. It did give Lily a look into her older brother’s feelings about everything, however. Theo usually kept his emotions and opinions locked up tight. She certainly didn’t expect him to change that part.
“I have another surprise for you,” Theo said.
Lily arched a brow high. “Oh?”
“Yes, but you have to make it quick. It was hard enough getting her here, not to mention someone still has to get her back.”
Lily’s confusion jumped higher. Theo stood from the chair and fixed his slacks before walking across the room to open the door again. With a quick word to someone out in the hallway connecting the private back rooms of the church, Theo turned and opened the door a little wider.
Evelina Conti stood waiting with her head down and her hands clasped tightly together at her middle. She kept wringing her hands together as she glanced up at Lily with a small smile that quickly faded.
They hadn’t spoken since the night Lily left her friend’s house. She hadn’t even seen Evelina once because Riley wouldn’t allow his daughter to communicate with anyone outside of the Conti family and close friends. Evelina had been ripped from her spot in Lily’s wedding and replaced, even though Lily hadn’t wanted her to be.
Lily’s heart grew, happiness swelling inside.
Evelina had come.
She probably wouldn’t be able to stay if Theo’s words were any indication. She wouldn’t be able to stand with Lily like they had originally planned. She would miss the party and sending Lily off. But she had come.
Nothing else mattered but that.
“Eve?” Lily asked, stunned.
“Hey,” her friend said.
Theo cleared his throat, gaining Lily’s attention. “I’m going to step outside for a minute and see if I can find somebody to take Evelina back home that won’t send Riley into a fit. Try not to take too long, okay? I know it’s been a while and everything.”
Lily nodded quickly “It’s okay, Theo. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Theo stepped outside the room, letting Evelina pass by. Once the door was closed, Lily wasn’t sure if she should stand and greet her old friend or stay where she was. Evelina remained close to the door, avoiding Lily’s stare as she picked at her fingernails. A blanket of awkwardness covered the small room.
“Thanks for coming,” Lily said, breaking the silence.
Evelina flashed another small smile. “I really wanted to. I tried.”
“Your father?”
“Yes,” Evelina said, sighing. “I’m sorry, Lily.”
Lily hadn’t been expecting that. Between both of them, Lily should be the one apologizing to Evelina. After all, even if Evelina didn’t know, Lily’s brother had been the cause of Mia’s death. How would Evelina feel about Lily if she knew the truth?
“Whatever it is, don’t worry about it,” Lily said.
“I should have called or something.”
“It’s not important.”
Evelina shifted on her feet, looking terribly uncomfortable. “You look beautiful.”
Lily laughed. “I’m not even in my dress yet.”
“So?”
“Thanks.” Lily shrugged, waving at the chair beside her. “Sit, Eve.”
Evelina shook her head. “I can’t. Theo was right, I can’t stay for long. Chances are, Daddy will find out from someone that I came, anyway. I don’t want to be the next person on his shit-list.”
If Evelina wouldn’t come to her, than Lily would go to her friend. Standing from her chair, Lily crossed the space with open arms. Evelina welcomed the embrace with her own tight hug that felt amazing and awful at the same time. Guilt pounded at Lily’s insides. Knowing the secrets she did was a horrible feeling.
“I love you,” Evelina said.
“I love you, too.”
Evelina leaned back, wiping at Lily’s cheek with her thumb. “Christ, don’t cry. Your makeup is perfect.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yeah, you never really did.”
Lily smiled through her guilt and sadness. “This is going to be over eventually, right?”
“The feud?” Evelina asked.
“Yeah.”
“Eventually.”
“I’ll be waiting when it is,” Lily said. “I’ll be waiting to pick this up where we left off.”
Evelina nodded once. “Me, too.”
Because the best kind of friendships never really ended. They could be put on pause for a short while or divided by space and time. But real friends—the truest ones—always waited and never missed a beat.
“I have to go,” Evelina said.
Lily squeezed Evelina’s hand. “Be safe.”
Lily lifted her arms to let Abriella and Cara slide the wedding dress over her head. Quickly and quietly, the girls tugged the dress down in place and began doing up the hundred or so tiny little pearl buttons along Lily’s spine.
The off-white lace dress reminded Lily that she was only an hour away from walking down the aisle. An aisle she hadn’t wanted to walk down at first, but now she couldn’t wait. The excitement was beginning to seep in a little more with very passing minute.
Cara Rossi took a step back as Abriella smoothed out the rushing waves of lace. While most of the day had passed with happiness, smiles, and a few joyful tears, Cara was having a rough time. She hid it well, but Lily knew.
“Cara?” Lily asked.
Abriella stood straight, crossing her arms. “Looks good. Just like we thought.”
Lily paid Abriella no mind. She was more concerned about her new friend and the permanent frown Cara couldn’t seem to get rid of. Lea Rossi’s funeral had been a quick, quiet affair. Lily accompanied Damian to the service and grave when Lea was buried. The Rossi family was still suffering from a mixture of shock and pain from the killing.
Cara probably had it the worst. She hadn’t just lost a friend and sister, she’d lost her twin. The thing some people considered to be the other half of her soul. How could someone ever settle something like that in their heart?
Lily didn’t begrudge Cara for her distraction or sadness.
Lily said the girl’s name louder the second time. “Cara?”
Cara’s head snapped up like someone had burned her. “Yeah?”
“Are you okay?” Lily asked.
“I’m—”
“Please don’t say fine,” Lily interjected gently.
Abriella rolled her eyes. “You’re the bride, Lily. We’re not supposed to upset you today.”
“Exactly,” Cara said, waving at Abriella. “I’m fine, really.”
She wasn’t.
Lily didn’t care what the girl had to say.
“It upsets me when you fake something for my benefit,” Lily pointed out.
Cara laughed a sad sound. “I don’t know how to do anything else right now.”
“Be honest,” Lily said. “Tell me something about Lea and you. Or even just you. Whatever. Give me anything.”
Cara didn’t look like she knew what to say to that.
“Are you going back to Canada after the wedding?” Abriella asked.
“Yes,” Cara said. “I have school.”
Lily frowned. “You don’t want to stay a little while longer? I know your family is glad to have you back.”
Well, Damian and Tommas seemed to really like having Cara home.
Cara sucked in a deep breath. “I need to go back. I can’t stay here. This place doesn’t feel like Lea at all. The only memories we have here are bad ones from when we were younger. I don’t know how Tommas does it. Or even Damian, really. I can’t stand being near my parents. I wished they would have cremated her so I could take a piece of her back with me. This isn’t home. She deserves to go back home.”
Lily watched Abriella blink away the wetness gathering in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Lily murmured.
“I’m still waiting to wake up and find out this is a dream,” Cara said quietly. “But it’s not, I’m never going to wake back up to find her here, and that makes it worse.”
Lily’s guilt only climbed higher.
Abriella opened up the door a crack and popped her head in. “Ten minutes.”
Lily nodded. “Thanks.”
“By the way, somebody is here to see you.”
“Huh?”
Abriella waved at Lily. “Come here, but stay behind the door.”
Confused, Lily did as Abriella asked.
“All right, but make it quick. If Dino or Theo catches you, I am not excusing your dumb ass,” Abriella said to someone on the other side of the door.
The dark chuckles that echoed in response to Abriella’s warning filled Lily with happiness and desire. She grinned as she peeked out the doorway, making sure the wood kept her dress hidden from Damian’s view.
As he looked toward the door, she hid behind it again.
“You’re not supposed to be on this side of the church” Lily said.
Damian made a dismissive sound. “No, I’m not supposed to see you.”
“You’re treading a thin line, Damian.”
“I can’t see you, sweetheart. I am firmly on the right side of the rules.”
“For once,” Lily teased.
Damian didn’t even try to deny it. “Your point?”
“Nothing.” Lily turned and looked out the door again, getting just a glimpse of his black tux from the breast down to his waist. Abriella’s hand shoved Lily back in the door before she could see more. “Hey!”
“No looking,” Abriella barked.
“You’re terrible,” Lily said, scowling.
“It’s only fair,” Abriella replied.
Lily was positive the girl was having fun with this.
“I have something to give you,” Damian said quietly.
Lily perked at that. “Oh?”
“Yes. I could have handed it off to someone else to deliver it, but I wanted to. I sneaked away from Tommas and Theo while I had the chance. It won’t be long before they realize it doesn’t take me ten minutes to piss.”
Lily laughed, turning her back to the door. “What did you bring me?”
“Give me your hand.”
Sticking her hand through the crack of the door, Lily waited. Damian placed something small, round and cool into the middle of her palm. His fingers grazed along all of hers as he pulled his hand back.
“I realized a few nights ago that I forgot something important about this whole thing,” Damian said. “I felt like a jackass and had to rectify it. But it never came in until yesterday and you weren’t allowed to see me. I really wanted you to wear it when you met me at the end today.”
Lily’s heart raced, jumping into her throat. She clenched her fingers around the tiny gift as she drew her hand back inside the room. Opening her hand again, a white gold, princess cut two carat diamond ring rested against her skin. It was simplistic in design, but Lily loved that style. She wasn’t one for flashy things and Damian wasn’t either.
It would make sense for him to pick something like this.
“I know you picked the wedding rings,” Damian said.
“It’ll match.”
“I figured. Do you like it?” Damian asked.
“You know I do,” Lily replied.
“Well, I wanted to hear you say it.”
“I’ll wear it,” Lily told him.
“I’ll meet you at the end.”
Not five seconds after Lily couldn’t hear Damian’s footsteps retreating down the hallway, Abriella cooed, “Awe.”
“Shut up, Ella.”
“That man loves you, Lily.”
Lily smiled. “Yeah. He does.”
Lily linked her arm with Dino’s as they waited behind the small progression of the wedding party. Only Abriella, Cara, and a young girl from Damian’s extended family acted as the party for Lily. Tommas would stand as Damian’s best man while Theo filled in for an usher. For such a large guest list, they chose a small party.
Dino patted Lily’s hand softly. It was the first time all morning she had seen her brother and he barely spoke a word to her.
“Are you happy?” Lily asked Dino.
Dino raised a brow at the question. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
“I think you already know, Dino.”
“Well, I hoped. I’m glad it worked out.”
Lily decided not to mention a thing about what she knew regarding the shootings, his involvement, or anything even relating to the subject to Dino. Doing so could put Damian in danger from Dino or worse, someone else. Lily wouldn’t do that. Not to Damian.
The doors opened to the church and Cara Rossi gave Lily a small smile before starting her walk down the aisle.
Almost time …
“I’m proud of you, Lily,” Dino said quietly.
Lily hadn’t been expecting that. “Why?”
“Sometimes I look at you and all I see is this little girl who you used to be. I often forget you’re not a child anymore and you’ve seen nearly as much as I have in life. I always thought Theo and I would forever be watching after you and minding you in some way, but you proved us wrong. You don’t need us at all, do you?”
“Why would you ask that, Dino?”
Dino shrugged. “It feels that way today. Instead of handing you off, I’m actually just giving you away. Dad should have been able to do this for you. I don’t think I’m a worthy enough man to stand in his place and do it for him. I need to know you’re going to be okay, Lily.”
“You know I’ll visit you,” Lily said.
No matter what, when they talked about Dino’s upcoming trial or his sentencing possibility, they never discussed it outright. Usually the topic was danced around or vaguely hinted at. Even being as mad and hurt by her brother’s choices as she was, Lily didn’t want to say goodbye to Dino for twenty years.
She didn’t want to say goodbye at all.
Lily watched as the doors opened for Abriella to make her way down the white silk aisle, too.
“You won’t visit,” Dino said, sounding like he was sure of it. “Because I don’t want you to. It’s not the kind of place for someone like you.”
“Fine, then I’ll call.”
Dino sighed, chuckling low. “You’re too stubborn for your own good.”
“I can’t imagine where I learned that from, Dino.”
“The best, of course.”
“And I got my sweetness from Theo,” Lily said.
Dino nodded. “That must be it. God knows you never got any of that nonsense from me.”
Lily squeezed her brother’s arm as the mother of the tiny flower girl urged her daughter through the opened doors. When they closed, shutting out the quiet murmurings of the church and the eyes of the guests trying to get a peek at Lily and Dino, her heart began to calm.
“Did you like my gift?” Dino asked.
Lily’s brow furrowed. “What gift?”
“The rosary, little one.”
Oh.
“That was from you?” she asked.
Dino nodded. “Yes. It’s very special to me. I waited a long time to finally be able to give it to you like I was supposed to.”
Lily’s hand clenched around the stem of her bouquet, feeling the rosary beads roll under her fingers. “Why is that?”
“You probably don’t recognize them. Church wasn’t a big thing for Mom, I guess. She only really brought them out on special occasions and whenever she went in for confession.”
Lily’s heart stopped and she grabbed her bouquet tighter. “It’s Mom’s?”
“Yes. She used to hang them off the bedpost on Dad’s side of the bed because she always said he needed more reminders of faith than she did. She loved him like crazy. I don’t think she ever really liked what he was or the things he did, but she loved him. And we came along for the ride, you know.”
Lily felt like she couldn’t breathe. “Thank you.”
“Better for you to have them, Lily. Theo and I, we’re going to the same place no matter how much we pray. You’re not quite the same.”
Lily didn’t think so. She wouldn’t argue it with Dino.
“You’re not giving me away today,” Lily said, tugging on Dino’s arm firmly to bring him closer to her side. “You’re just—”
“Setting you free,” Dino said as the doors opened a final time to let Lily and Dino step forward into view. “Because that’s what you do with the things you raise and love, Lily. You set them free and you pray they’re strong enough that they don’t need to come back to you, but you still hope that they do.”
Dino turned as the sound of three hundred or more people standing from the pews echoed through the church. Lily let her brother kiss her cheek before he fixed her veil.
“You’re going to be just fine,” Dino said.
“Will I?”
“DeLucas don’t know how to fail, Lily. We never have.”
Lily willed away her tears as Dino took his spot beside her again. He fixed her hand tucked into his elbow and then moved them forward. Through the sheerness of her veil trimmed with a delicate lace, Lily ignored the faces of people she didn’t know and even those she did recognize. Instead, she focused on the man waiting for her at the front, standing at the bottom of the altar with his hands clasped behind his back.
Damian’s smile grew the closer she came. For a man that usually kept his emotions hidden from view, the happiness and joy on his face was written as clear as day. The wedding march reverberated through the church from the organ, hitting every note perfectly.
Lily barely heard it at all.
“Who gives this woman today in marriage?” she heard the priest ask as they came to a stop at the bottom of the altar.
Theo stepped down from his spot on the altar with Tommas to stand beside Dino.
“We do,” her brothers said together.
Words exchanged between the priest and the men before Damian took Dino’s place. Dino kissed Lily’s hand softly before he passed it to Damian. Theo took his place back on the altar without a word. Lily smiled as Damian gave her hand a slight squeeze.
In that one action, she was grounded to his side again.
Right where she was meant to be.
Lily glanced up at the waiting priest.
“Do you come into this union willingly, child?” the man asked her.
That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?
“Yes,” Lily said. “I absolutely do.”