It had snowed last night, adding a three-inch layer of fresh, crunchy white snow on the ground as we walked down the path toward the stables. All of the fake snow my mom had imported was gone, replaced by the real thing. It added a dash of Christmas magic to an already great time. Coming into this, I was worried that bringing Andrew could be a mistake. Granted, I didn’t know about all the drama that was waiting for us regarding Veronica (who we’d successfully avoided over the past few days), but I did know I had to confront Bill at some point, and at the same time I was bringing along a fake boyfriend just so my dumb stepsiblings wouldn’t say anything. So yeah, I was pretty stressed.

But that all went away with the fake snow as Andrew and I spent more time together. From the start, I knew we clicked, but over the past three days, I realized that we really clicked. It wasn’t like anything I’d experienced before. It happened so fast, and it was so damn powerful. I was already dreading the end of the retreat because I knew I would have to say bye to Andrew, and that was the last thing I found that I wanted.

We’ll stay friends. We’ve got to—this is too crazy an experience to just ghost each other after.

Andrew was walking next to me, the sound of his boots matching the crunch under mine. We were both wearing light coats, his tan and mine black, and we were hand in hand. There wasn’t even anyone around, but I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and holding his hand. It felt so right, even if it may have not be “right” considering the arrangement and how strongly my feelings were developing.

But I wanted him, and I couldn’t have all of him, so I’d have this little piece of him for right now.

“So you’ve always had horses?” Andrew asked as we reached the entrance to the stables, there was already some apprehension in his voice.

“Since I could remember,” I said, walking in first. It was a modern facility big enough to house eight horses with six of them being permanent residents. The stable was a mixture of stone, brick, and wood, with shiny black metal plaques denoting the names of the each of the horses. It was pristinely clean and made for an excellent home for the horses. “My mom was big into dressage—not so much anymore since she doesn’t have a lot of time for it anymore. But ever since I was a kid, she’d bring me along with her to the stables and I’d help clean the horses. Then my dad got into casual riding and we really bonded over that, going out on rides pretty much every weekend. It was some of the best moments from my childhood. I never did get into any professional riding, but I do love owning my two girls and riding them around at least once a month.”

“I would have never guessed this about you when we first met,” Andrew said, looking at me with something like admiration in his big brown eyes.

“Why?” I asked, putting him on the spot. I liked toying around with him like that. Making him fluster and blush.

“I, um, I, I dunno, Deck. You just don’t seem like a horse guy.”

“What’s a horse guy supposed to seem like?”

“Okay, you’re not making this any easier for me, huh?”

“Nope?”

Priscella, a palomino American Quarter horse, neighed loudly as we walked past, looking for a carrot or sugar cube no doubt.

“I just mean,” Andrew said, shaking his head while a smile still played on his face, “you seemed like the kind of guy who would be more into exclusive gyms and fancy cars and crazy club parties. You just seemed like a hot, rich guy at first. Obviously, I’ve learned you’re nothing like that.”

“I’m not hot or rich?” I asked, pretending I was offended.

“No, what? I mean yeah, of course you—”

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” I said, unable to hold down my laugh. Andrew took his hand from mine and playfully slapped at my chest.

“Asshole,” he said.

We stopped at a pen toward the far end, where the metal plaque read Alaska Lightning Bolt in a bold white script. Almost immediately, my horse trotted up to the front of her pen, sticking her big head out over the gate and lifting her lips in a warm sign of welcome (and a sign that she also wanted a carrot stick). She was an Andalusian with a stunning dark black coat that bordered on a jewel-like quality under certain lighting. They were an elegant and compassionate breed, easy to train and a pleasure to ride. I went over and gave her a few good head rubs, leaning in and hugging her before I went over to the refrigerator holding some treats. I came back with a big bag of carrots, opening it and handing one over to Andrew, who was looking more and more nervous.

“Wait, so you’re really that scared of horses?” I asked, reaching a carrot out and having it immediately snapped up by Alaska. I thought he had been exaggerating when he first talked about his fear of anything bigger or smaller than him, but it seemed like there was definitely some truth to it.

“No, no. I wouldn’t say I’m like, scared,” Andrew said, sounding very frightened. “Just, you know, I respect them. That’s all.”

“You’re terrified, aren’t you?”

“I’m pissing myself.”

I snorted and shook my head. “You’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Alaska and Chocolate Chip are two of the absolute sweetest horses I’ve ever worked with. Especially Chocolate Chip—she’ll be yours for today.”

“I’ve never ridden a horse before…”

“That’s okay. We can spend a little time going around in circles outside before we head off. My mom’s set up the date spot for us; it’s only a short fifteen-minute ride through the woods. There’s a path, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

Andrew took a deep breath. “Okay, yeah, I’m okay.” Again, he sounded like he wasn’t. But, to his credit, he reached into the bag of carrots and pulled one out, extending his hand out and snatching it back the second Alaska lifted her lips and showed off her impressive set of teeth.

“Whoa, okay, no biggie,” Andrew said, reassuring himself and extending his hand again. Alaska took the carrot with little grace and started chomping away.

“See, and you’ve still got all your fingers.”

“Thankfully,” Andrew said, looking down at his hands to make sure. “She came straight for me!”

“You know horses aren’t carnivorous, right?”

“Yes, I took third grade biology, too, thank you very much.” He crossed his hands and gave me a look I was growing to love.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, boy.

“Come, let’s go meet Chocolate Chip.” I walked over to the next stall, Chocolate Chip already sticking her head out to greet me after hearing my voice. She was a pinto-colored Thoroughbred, so her coat was a base of light brown with huge white splotches. “Here she is,” I said, rubbing her muzzle. “I’ve had her for fifteen years now. She’s such a sweetheart. Only bucked me off about five times.”

“Five times too many!”

I laughed while I went for more carrots. “Kidding. She hasn’t bucked off a fly since I’ve had her. The ranch actually uses her as a therapy horse for their program working with kids. It’s a free program I helped get started that helps give kids a chance at therapy they normally wouldn't be able to get because of cost. We also work with a lot of veterans who suffer from PTSD. Horse therapy really helps in a lot of those cases.”

“That’s incredible, Deck.”

Whenever Andrew used my nickname, it gave me a warm feeling right smack in my chest. No one ever really called me that, and yet it felt so natural coming from Andrew’s lips.

Well, that was a lie. There had been someone who’d constantly called me that—my dad, the man I had named the initiative after: the Franklin Equestrian Therapy Program.

“I want to expand the program,” I said, “make it something that’s all around the country, but there’ve been a few road bumps along the way.”

“Still, just the fact that you set it up here, it’s incredible.”

I looked to Andrew, his eyes glowing bright, his dimples on full display. He had a face I could never grow tired of looking at. If he were the last thing I saw on this earth before aliens came and wiped us out, then I’d be okay with that.

That’s when someone interrupted us and made me wish alien abductions were an actual thing. “Oh, you guys are here…” The voice was instantly recognizable and instantly grating. I turned, feeling my mood souring like a carton of milk left out in the sun.

“Brooke,” I said. She was standing there, at the entrance to the stables, wearing a bright red trench coat with a black wool hat, her freshly done hair falling down in waves onto her shoulders. She had her hands stuffed in her pockets, her eyes set on me. The few times we had interacted over the past few days, I noticed she tended to avoid looking at Andrew. I hated that. I also didn’t really understand why, since Andrew had been nothing but kind to her.

“Are you guys here long?”

“Just about to leave,” I said, beginning to gather the things we’d need for the ride.

“Okay, good.” She entered and walked slowly over to a pen holding her horse, Trinity Clouds, who was just as bitchy as her owner. She whinnied and neighed as she slowly came over to Brooke’s hand. Meanwhile, I could feel Andrew getting more and more tense. He was standing by the corner with his hands held together tight, pretending as if a chip on the wall’s paint job was the most interesting thing in the world. I got back to work, wanting to get us out of the stables as quick as I could. I didn’t want this to ruin the mood for the entire day.

“You two make a cute couple,” Brooke said, surprising us. I was working on putting the bridle on Alaska, so I had been focused on my horse and didn’t realize Brooke had sauntered her way over to our side of the stables.

“Thanks,” I said, a little warily, finishing up what I was doing. I went for the saddle next. I shot a glance toward Andrew, who had moved his attention to a chip on the floor.

“I do have a question, though,” she said. “Why keep your relationship secret for so long?”

That took me by surprise, once again. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the two of you staying secret for, what, seven months? Why didn’t anyone in this family hear about Andrew?”

She was talking about him like he wasn’t even there. It was really pissing me off. “Because I don’t have to report my personal life to any of you?” I tried getting back to what I was doing and focused on putting the saddle on Alaska.

“I’m just thinking it makes me feel things could be… I don’t know, fake?”

My entire body tensed at the word. It was as if a sudden explosion had gone off, sending a quake through me and making my ears ring. Andrew was no longer looking down at the floor; his eyes instead were on Brooke, who was standing with her arms crossed and a pleased looked on her face. There was a confidence to her that told me she knew.

Somehow, someway, Brooke knew about us.

Well, fuck me with a jumbo-sized candy cane. This isn’t good.