We ended up going to sleep a bit late, and when we woke up the next morning, it was past nine and about time for us to check out, if we didn’t want to end up paying for the day as well. John still ordered breakfast and made me eat a great deal of it before touching anything himself. He kept asking if everything was okay with me, if I wanted more food, wanted to wash my face, wanted to lie down a little longer.

I could almost fool myself into thinking he cared about me. And I was a little worried about that, so when we got back into his car and on the road again, I leaned back in my seat, my arms crossed over my chest, and closed my eyes. I meant to only pretend to sleep so he wouldn’t try starting any conversations, but then I actually fell asleep. I even dreamed, my mind going back to the worst part of my childhood, leaving me unsettled.

Once again, I felt myself getting shaken awake as John called my name gently. My dream immediately fell away as I blinked my eyes open and yawned. It took a minute for me to realize the car was no longer moving.

“We…”

“We’re here already,” John finished for me. “Come on. I’ll help carry all the luggage inside.”

He already had his belt unbuckled, so he just opened his door and slid right out. I blinked, and moved to unlock my own door, still feeling a bit sleepy. I went to step outside, only to be stopped by something tugging back against my chest. I looked down to see the seatbelt, and felt my face warm up as I pulled it off, then got out of the car. John didn’t seem to have caught it, thankfully.

I raised my arms up and stretched my body out, then relaxed and finally looked around. The area we were in had quite a few trees, and I was pretty sure there would be a forest close by. The house we had stopped in front of didn’t seem to have any close neighbors, and I couldn’t help letting out a sigh of relief at that. Moving to a new place was one thing, but getting used to new people was a completely other thing, and I knew which one I could stand better. It was two stories high, with a bit of an overhand that shaded the front porch, and the wall on the second floor on this side of the room made completely of glass.

“Dominick!” John called.

I followed the sound of his voice, to see he’d already headed for the house. He had one of my suitcases under one arm as he dragged the other behind it, and his own held in one arm. Once he’d caught my attention, he tilted his head toward the house, then turned away. I took it to mean he wanted me to follow, and I took a last glance at the outside of the house, then went in.

At the door, John had stopped and put everything down to feel around his pockets for the keys. Once he had them and he unlocked the door, he shoved the suitcases inside, then stood aside for me to go in before following and closing the door behind us.

“This…is our new place,” John said, sounding awkward.

I looked over at him. “You said something about the pack helping you build a place…”

He rubbed his neck as he frowned slightly, not meeting my gaze. “Well, that might have been a bit of an exaggeration. I started planning this place ages ago when I felt it was time to find myself an Omega to settle down with. There wasn’t an Omega I was particularly interested in, though, so those plans slowed down quite a bit. The foundation and part of the structure had been done. So it’s not so much that they helped me build as they helped me finish.”

“What about the old place you stayed in?”

“Uh, that place. It was pretty tiny, really only meant for just me. I figured two would be a bit of a squeeze, especially with the possibility of pups in the future. I was in an apartment building owned by the pack and a lot closer to pack grounds than this place is, but as soon as I earned enough money, I bought the land, so it’s technically mine, not the pack’s.”

I nodded my head, pursing my lips as I looked around.

The place looked gorgeous, and I tried to imagine what it must have been like before they finished up on it. The walls were painted a light brown, almost cream color, with the ceiling and floors being made up of different woods in different colors, with the floor being a darker, earthy brown. There was a lot of space inside that you couldn’t see much from the outside, and it was artfully arranged, with some potted plants and other knickknacks spread around the room.

“Can I see what the rest of it looks like?” I asked.

John did a motion where he nodded then shrugged, almost at the same time but not quite.

“I don’t mind,” he said. “It’s not just my house now, remember? This is now our home. There are four bedrooms upstairs, and the largest one is ours. I’m not sure if it’s fully decorated up there or not, but if you see something you don’t like, you can tell me and we’ll see what we can do about it.”

With that, he gave me another nod and walked in a certain direction. He opened a door, and I got a peek inside before he closed the door behind him. It looked to be the kitchen. I wanted to go out there as well, but I decided to start with the upstairs first. I looked at all the luggage we had, and decided to take them all up. First, I dragged all three bags to the stairs, and then started carrying the lighter ones up first, until I reached the landing on the second floor, and left the bags there to go for the last one. Once I had them all up there, I looked around for the biggest room.

When I found it, I gasped.

Beautiful…

It must be the room that faced the front, because one whole wall in it was made completely of glass. They were in light blue, all cut squares put together, like something I would expect to see on the side of a really tall building in some city.

My feet carried me into and across the room slowly, my eyes looking at the view through the glass. It faced the road, that was mostly empty, and the trees on the other side. The sun was positioned just right so that it let light in above the trees, lighting the room up beautifully. I had thought so since seeing it from the outside, but this house was really…gorgeous.

Don’t let yourself get pulled in, my thoughts warned, bringing me back to myself.

Taking a step away from the glass wall, I looked around the rest of the room. It was pretty sparsely furnished. I could see a chest of drawers pushed against the right wall, with a door beside it that I assumed led to an ensuite bathroom. I walked over to open the door and look inside, only to be surprised once more.

The bathroom was done in gold and cream colors, with a pretty pattern on the floor tiles that had a myriad of colors in silver, purple, blue and light grey. There was a separate tub and shower box, with the toilet being a bit of a distance from both. A wide counter to one side of the room made of dark marble held several bottles, some shampoos and shower gels. There was a sink in the middle of the counter with a cup beside it that held a tube of toothpaste and a single toothbrush, with another lying on the counter beside it, still in its plastic wrap. Above the sink was a wide mirror that reflected the other side of the room from where I stood.

So… pretty, I thought with a sigh, only to snap myself out of it.

Focus, Dominick! No matter what John said, this is not your home!

I closed the bathroom door and turned around, and right across the room was a large bed. Seeing it made my heart flip funny inside my chest.

It was a large king size bed that could probably fit four grownups comfortably, with blue and purple bedding and carefully arranged pillows. It had a nightstand to either side of it at the head, with lamps on both sides. The bed seemed too perfect, I wondered if John had ever even slept in it.

Tonight, we would both end up in this bed.

You see? my thoughts screamed at me. Don’t think the place looks good. It can't! These walls, no matter how gorgeous, are my prison. Nothing but a pretty cage…

My body shivered as I thought, and suddenly I felt cold. I went out to the hall to drag in our suitcases, and looked around again. To the side of the door into the room, beside the bed, was a wide closet with two sets of double doors. I thought about pushing them open to put away our clothes, but my earlier excitement had died down greatly, and I suddenly didn’t feel like it.

I stared hard at the bed, feeling too uncomfortable to even go near it, no matter how badly I wanted to sit down.

Can I really do this? Can I really just go along with this?

The doubts that had plagued me before were coming back full force. I felt like John and I had gotten a little closer since the day I walked down the aisle to stand beside him for our wedding ceremony, but we didn’t know each other enough, and it had only been barely three days.

Even if he hadn't asked to be in the situation any more than I had, and the whole thing had been arranged for him, it was obvious John only saw me as a baby-making machine. He needed an Omega and it was taking him too long to find one, so any would do. It didn’t matter who, because in the end he just had to look after the Omega and procreate.

I hated that.

All of my life, I was prized for my lactating abilities. My Omega parent had been female, and she had the gene, so even before I presented, I was always thought to carry the lactating gene, that I would be just like my mother had been, a star for our little pack in Juneau. All of this, came with the presumption that I would be a great Omega toward the Alpha I would end up with. I had at least thought, growing up, that in the end I would get to choose my own Alpha, but that had never been true for me.

Being ‘special’ was one of the things that gave me practically everything in life. When I wanted something, I got to have it no matter what, even if someone else had to go without. In the beginning, when I learned I had this difference with the other kids in the pack, I had been proud. I hadn't even noticed how they had used such methods to control me. Until I was given my tasks to help with the pups when I was fifteen, and I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything else that I wanted, like get a job, go out into town on my own to do things I wanted.

Now, being ‘special’ had soured in my mouth ages ago, but I knew it wasn’t something I couldn’t escape just because I wanted to. I had gone from feeling like a person, to feeling like a future incubator for the Alpha that had been chosen for me.

And then, there’s John…

There wasn’t really anything wrong with John. If we had met under normal circumstances instead of an arranged marriage, I didn’t doubt that I would have grown to care for him, at least a little bit. But in the current situation, how could I dare to without it being detrimental to myself?

Why can't John just try to have a real relationship with me?

I didn’t like the position I was in, but I didn’t necessarily hate it, because after spending some time with him, I could at least tell John was going to treat me with the respect I deserved. A relationship needed more than just respect, however. I wasn’t even looking for love at this stage, at least something more intimate, and definitely a mutual trust between us. I wasn’t entirely sure I could trust him, but I was willing to give it a try.

“Dominick! Could you come down here, please?”

I startled a bit when I heard John’s call coming from downstairs. I had been so lost in my thoughts, I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. I hurried out of the bedroom and went back downstairs. He was leaning out of the door to the kitchen, his eyes lighting on me once I appeared.

“Did you need me for something?” I asked, slowing down as I reached the bottom of the stairs and approached him.

“Not so much need you for something, but I was wondering if you wanted to get in the hot tub, maybe?”

My eyebrows shot up. “Hot tub?”

John nodded. “Yeah. I was thinking of making lunch or something, but I figured we had time so we could sit down to some drinks and talk a bit more, and why not do it in the hot tub? I just checked and I have some beers. Are you game?”

I blinked slowly at him. It was pretty convenient that he’d called to ask about this, because I actually wanted to talk to him, too.

“I don’t mind,” I said, trying to look behind him. Where was this hot tub…?

John grinned and stepped through the door, holding a six pack of canned beer in both hands. “It’s not back here, it’s actually upstairs on the balcony facing out back. You didn’t get to see it?”

“Uh, no. I just took our things up to the bedroom.”

“Ah,” he said, glancing at the doorway where he’d left the suitcases. “Well, it’s fine. The balcony is in the room across from our bedroom. The room there is still bare, I was actually thinking of turning it into a study or something for the sake of privacy. Follow me up, I’ll show you.”

He headed for the stairs with me on his heels. I was actually feeling a little curious. I’d taken baths before, but I had never been in a hot tub. It was another one of those things that I only ever got to read about or see on TV and not experience in real life. I didn’t doubt, if there had been a hot tub in the pack’s lands that I would have been indulged at least once, but there was a lot that they didn’t have, and they didn’t dare let me experience them outside.

We arrived back at the short hall on the second floor. There were five doors on this floor, and I had opened two of them. One turned out to be a bathroom, and the second one was our bedroom. Because I’d picked randomly instead of moving around in order, I had bypassed the other three doors.

John headed for the one right across the bedroom and shouldered it open, pushing on the handle around the beer cases. I wanted to help, but there was no room, and he managed it on his own anyway. Like he’d said, the whole room was empty, with a pair of sliding doors made of glass that showed the view in the back. There were even more trees that way, and I didn’t doubt it was the direction of the forest. John pushed one of the sliding doors, and stepped out onto the porch. I followed him outside.

It was day time, and the sun was out, but a breeze blew by and had me wrapping my arms around myself to guard against the cold. John set the beers down, and then pressed some panel on the wall, and a section of the floor started to slide out. Beneath it was a wide, round, porcelain tub, raised a bit on some sides in what I assumed was meant to act as a seat. It looked wide enough to fit several people.

“Does it work?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. When fixing this place up, there were a few things I made priority, and this is one of them. I’ve used it before, so I know there’s nothing wrong with it.”

He pressed a few more buttons on the panel, then jets of water opened up in the tub, filling it up incredibly quickly. John seemed to be controlling the pressure and speed of the water, and when it got to just the right amount, he turned them off. There was a short moment, and then the water surface started moving, frothing and bubbling. In a matter of seconds, there was steam rising off it. John turned to grin at me.

“You can keep your briefs on, or you can get in naked. The water should be a nice hot temperature.”

“Won’t it burn if it’s too hot?” I asked anxiously. This was something I didn’t understand about hot tubs. Why would anyone want to submerge themselves in hot temperatures?

“Don’t worry,” John said, probably seeing my expression. “It’s really not anything bad, the water isn’t so hot that it’ll burn your skin off or anything. Once you settle in, it starts to feel really good.”

Pushing the beers closer to the tub with his foot, John started to strip. He seemed to pause before leaving his boxer briefs on, and I watched as he moved to sit on the edge of the tub, then slowly lowered his feet, and his legs in, followed by the rest of him. He sat on one of the raised edges, then looked at me expectantly.

Taking a deep breath, I started pulling off my own clothes, and I left my briefs on. I copied John’s motion exactly, though I paused for a bit and winced when my feet touched the water. It really was hot, yet John looked completely relaxed. After a moment of psyching myself up, I managed to get myself in. I found another raised edge and sat on it. When I leaned back, the tub curved with my back, and like John had said, after a little bit, the hot water rushing around my body felt really good.

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

I let my eyes flutter open, wondering when I’d closed them. I looked over at John to see him handing over a can of beer to me.

“It’s great,” I answered languidly, taking the can and sipping from it. “Can I ask just how much land around here you own?” I asked.

John hummed, looking around. “I can't tell just by look, but I did confirm everything, so I know the land I built this house on is mine, legally. There’s a town a bit further up the road, and the closer you go, the more houses you get to see. My house is a bit away from the road, and with the trees, as long as people don’t look for it, it’s not so impossible that they would miss it. Toward the back…well, there’s a lot of forest land, and most if not all of it is the pack grounds.”

There was a short silence, then John turned to me with a question of his own.

“If you could do anything, what would you like it to be?”

I blinked, then pursed my lips as I thought it over. It was a truly tough question.

“I don’t know. I never thought I would have a job other than the pups. No one has ever asked me what I wanted to do.”

We chatted a bit more, each of us asking a question and the other replying, not letting too long a silence grow between us. Just like that, we got to know each other a bit more, and I was sort of hoping it brought us closer. I didn’t talk about what I really wanted to talk about just yet, not wanting to ruin the good atmosphere.

After a couple cans of beer, the fight from the bar was brought up again. My mind was a little fuzzy so I wasn’t sure how it even happened, but I found myself at the end of John’s frown once more.

“I hope you remember what I told you about that incident,” John said. “Even if the circumstances are different, and it feels in any way similar for you, please. You need to stand up for yourself. There’s nothing that would justify someone else being happy or content at your expense, okay?”

The conversation had cleared my head a bit, and those things that I’d wanted to talk about before, suddenly entered my mind once more. After a moment of deliberation, I turned to look at John, my gaze resolute. He seemed surprised by my gaze, eyebrows arching up, but he didn’t say anything and waited.

“John,” I started softly. “If I ask you, do you think you’re content right now? What would be your answer?”

“That… I am sort of content, I guess?”

I nodded my head slowly. “Then, John, I completely agree with what you said before. I’m standing up for myself here and now.”

John’s expression had melted into shock, but I ignored it, looking away. I was ‘standing up for myself’ though here, so I turned back to meet his gaze.

“I know…that now that we’re married, there’s no easy way out for us, if there is one at all. I’m young, and I was extremely sheltered by the pack, but people talked a lot, and I listened, so I do know things. John…you’re my husband. My mate, and my Alpha. But I have to tell you right now, that I refuse to be in a relationship, arranged marriage or not, with a man that won’t show me any affection and only uses me as a baby dispenser. Just… I want more. We’re going to be stuck with each other for the rest of our lives, so I would like to have at least this much clear between us from the get go.”

John was so clearly taken by surprise, even after I finished and waited for a while, all he could do was stare at me, gaping slightly. I even started feeling a bit self-conscious, and flitted my eyes away before meeting his gaze again. Finally, he blinked, some of the surprise fading.

“Uh,” he murmured, running a hand down his face and a slight frown appearing on his face. “Well. You’ve said your piece, and I’ve heard you. My situation…isn’t quite like yours. I have a family in the pack, but they never really gave me much guidance when I was young, so I mostly followed the example of others growing up. But in the end, I’ve always been more on the quiet, stoic side. Not to say that I’m always that way, the past few days just brought some…excitement into my life, so you could say it woke me up. But, I will respect your wishes and... I will try to do my best for you.”

His expression was one of utmost sincerity, and I nodded to myself, feeling like it was the best answer I was going to get. I felt relieved, though, that we had crossed one more hurdle, and suddenly, my future seemed a lot brighter than it had just moments ago.