My life was nothing like it used to be.

Now I shared my entire existence with one person, spending every waking moment with her but still missing her.

She spent her day in the art room, making her creations under the sunlight that filtered through the large floor-to-ceiling window. Sometimes I would stand in the entryway and watch her, study the way she held the paintbrush and ran her fingers through her hair. She made magnificent pieces just from ideas in her mind, and it was truly incredible to witness her genius.

She shouldn’t have been in art school to begin with.

She was a natural.

Every night, we would have dinner together then go to bed. And every night, she was on her back with her head on the pillow, and I was in between her legs, buried deep in her arousal. I made love to her the same way every single night, slow and deep. I kissed her and felt her lips tremble against mine. It was so domesticated, so vanilla, but I’d never loved sex more. I loved making love to this woman every night, no matter how slow or repetitive it was. There was nothing I enjoyed more than sinking her into the mattress, kissing her like I loved her, and feeling her come around my dick over and over. She just lay there, and I thrust deep and slow, enjoying every single moment of the bliss.

I was pussy-whipped, and it didn’t bother me at all.

I was sitting in my office when Max called.

“Hey, man. How’s married life?”

His taunt didn’t bother me at all. “No complaints. How’s jerking off every night?”

He chuckled. “Not as good as pussy.”

“You got something for me?”

“I do. I’ll send you all the info over our server.”

“Where?”

“Turkey. The guy has been doing some illegal nuclear work down there, selling information he shouldn’t be selling. The client has put a huge price on this, so I’m sending you and Shane. I think this is a two-person job.”

I didn’t mind having backup. “What’s the payment?”

“Sixty million.”

Split two ways, that was more than enough. “I’m in. When do I leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll send you the information now. Let me know if you have any questions.”

“Okay. I’ll coordinate with Shane.”

“Alright.” Max hung up.

Vanessa sat across from me at the dining table, a spot of blue paint on her neck. She’d showered after working all day, but she somehow missed the tiny dot.

I didn’t tell her it was there because I liked it.

I made salmon and greens, my most popular dinner. Packed with protein with no fat or carbs, it was the superfood I needed to maintain my size.

“This is really good. I’ve never cared for fish, but this is great.” She took small bites as she ate her dinner, sipping her wine every now and then. Her eyes were down at her food, her small mouth moving as she chewed.

I hardly looked at what I was doing because I preferred to look at her. “Thanks. How’s the artwork coming along?”

“You spy on me, so you tell me.” She looked up, a small smile on her lips.

I didn’t deny it. “You have five new paintings now?”

“Seven, including the two I have at my old apartment. Next time I see my family, I’ll hand them over so they can be sold at the winery.”

“Maybe we should seriously consider opening a gallery for you.”

“We aren’t doing anything. When I’m ready, I’ll open one on my own.”

“Or you could just let your man take care of it.” I could buy a building for her, prime real estate in Milan, and I could pay to have it designed into the perfect gallery. She could live her dream and sell her paintings and not have to worry about the overhead expenses.

“I don’t need a man to take care of me.”

My eyes narrowed.

“In this regard,” she added. “I want to do this on my own. I’ll save up some money for a down payment, and then I’ll go from there.”

She was taking the hard way, and while it infuriated me, I also respected her for it. She wasn’t looking for the easy way. She wanted to do something on her own, stand on her own two feet the way she’d been raised. Instead of trying to spoon-feed her, I let it be. “I’m leaving tomorrow, and I may be gone for a while.” Since this operation was more extensive than the others, I might be gone longer than usual.

She stopped eating, her body tensing instantly. “Where are you going?”

“Turkey. I’ve got a mission. Shane is coming with me.”

“Why is he coming with you?” she asked. “Is this a bigger operation than usual?”

“A little. This guy deals with nuclear weaponry, so my job is to eliminate him. He’s selling secrets when he shouldn’t be, and it’s a threat to pretty much everyone.”

She dropped her fork back onto her plate. “Griffin, this sounds dangerous.”

“Obviously. I kill people for a living. What did you expect?”

“Nothing this intense…” Her calm manner completely disappeared, and now she was just as distressed as she was the night she saw me with another woman. A thin layer of moisture covered the surface of her eyes, and her breathing had escalated almost instantly.

“Baby, I’ll be fine.”

She looked down at her half-eaten food, her appetite gone. She dragged her fingers across her mouth, deep in thought.

I never would have said anything if I’d thought it was going to make her this upset. “Baby.”

She wouldn’t look at me.

“Baby.”

She finally lifted her gaze to meet mine.

“I’ve been doing this since we met. Why is it bothering you now?”

She gave me a pissed look, like she was about to throw her dinner plate at my head. “Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m serious.”

“Because I love you, asshole.”

“You’ve always loved me,” I snapped.

“But it’s different now, and you know it.”

Now, we were in a real relationship, the kind of relationship where we slept together every night and made love before bed. We had dinner together every night, and we shared the same space without getting tired of each other. “It’s my job, baby. I’ll be gone for a week at the most.”

“A week?” she asked incredulously. “That’s the longest you’ve ever been gone for.”

“I know. But I promise I’ll come back.”

“You can’t make a promise like that, Griffin. You have no idea if you can actually keep it.”

“I’ll keep it.” I held her gaze as I spoke. “Nothing will stop me from coming back to you.”

My words touched her slightly, but the softness quickly wore off. “It would be one thing if you were in the military and didn’t have a choice. But you’re doing this for the money, which is ridiculous. You have more than enough money. Stop risking your life for more.”

“There’s no such thing as too much money.”

Her eyes narrowed. “It’s not worth more than your life.”

“I’m not going to die.”

“Don’t be so arrogant. You never know what’s going to happen.”

“I know what’s going to happen because I refuse to accept any other outcome besides victory. You need to stop worrying.”

She sighed loudly, her nostrils flaring.

“Let it go.”

She looked down at her plate again.

“I’ll be fine. I promise.”

She dragged her hands down her pretty face. “You can break all your other promises, but please don’t break this one.” Her hands moved back to the table, and she looked at me with the emotion in her eyes.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this, enjoy watching her hurt over me. I’d never had a woman love me like this, who didn’t care about my money as much as my life. She was practically in tears, begging me to walk away from that kind of life for a simpler one with her.

I was an asshole to enjoy her pain, but I never said I wasn’t an asshole. “I won’t.”

I packed my bag and walked to the front door.

All the gear we needed would be on the plane, so I didn’t need anything besides my clothes. I wore my leather jacket and my black jeans, blending in with the darkness outside the building. Once Shane and I met at the headquarters, we would take off.

Vanessa was sitting on the couch, wearing one of my t-shirts like it might convince me to stay. She refused to acknowledge my departure, as if pretending it wasn’t happening would somehow make it easier.

I set my bag down by the elevator and stared at her.

She kept her arms crossed over her chest and stared at the TV, refusing to even glance my way.

I continued to stand there, slightly amused she was taking this so hard. “You aren’t going to say anything to me?” I’d told her to stay here while I was gone since it was a lot safer than that dump she lived in. I was surprised her family let her stay there after Knuckles broke in to it, but I knew they didn’t have much of a choice because Vanessa was so stubborn.

She continued to ignore me.

“Fine.” I hit the button and watched the doors open. I could play this game if she wanted, but we both knew how it was going to end. I stepped inside and immediately hit the button so I could move to the bottom floor. The doors started to shut.

“Wait.” She hopped off the couch and sprinted into the elevator, squeezing through the doors before they closed. She ran into my chest, hitting me at high speed but not hard enough to do any damage. “I’m sorry…”

I held her against me as the elevator moved to the bottom floor, my t-shirt reaching her thighs and hanging loosely around her body. My chin rested on her head, and I felt her back rise and fall with her quick breaths. “It’s okay. I knew you weren’t going to let me leave without saying goodbye.”

“Don’t be an asshole right now.”

I pressed a kiss to her forehead and tried to hide my smile. “Baby, you know I’m always an asshole.”

“Not to me.”

The elevator reached the lobby, and the doors opened. She was in no condition to walk me to my truck, so I stayed with her inside the elevator. My hand moved to her face, and I tipped her gaze up toward me. My thumb brushed across her soft cheek, watching my woman turn weak the second she was about to lose me. That was what I’d always wanted from her, for her to need me, to be devastated when I wasn’t by her side. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Griffin.”

I kissed her on the mouth.

She kissed me back, her kiss warm and inviting. She gripped my arms and pulled me farther into her, trying to give me a reason to stay.

I wanted to stay with her always, but I had a duty to fulfill. Regardless of how much money I’d saved over the last decade, I couldn’t turn my back on the business—because that meant I’d have to turn my back on my boys.

I would never be that pussy-whipped.

Vanessa would have to accept my terms.

I kissed her a little longer, loving the flesh of my woman. I loved her smell, her heat. I loved the way she kissed me with love. I loved the way her fingernails dug into me. She would do anything to get me to come back upstairs and forget about the mission altogether. I indulged myself a little longer, knowing I would miss her the most when I lay in the dark without her beside me.

I abruptly ended the kiss and walked away, turning my back on her so I wouldn’t have to see the devastation in her eyes. I loved her affection and her desperation, but I didn’t enjoy looking at the suffering in her gaze right before I drove off. I knew she was worried about me, worried that the only man she’d ever loved wouldn’t come back to her.

But I would come back to her—no matter what.