I lay back in the bed, my head on the soft pillow, and despite the terror of my current circumstances, my body did relax on the bed. Gordon hadn’t pushed the kiss for more than a second, and then we’d lay in silence, just listening to each other breathe. Well, that was what I had done. I wasn’t sure exactly what Gordon had done in those moments. I was pretty sure we’d been on the same page.

He’d helped me into the bathroom, put my hands on the sink, and I’d managed to clean myself up pretty well with the water—which was warm—and cloths on the side of the sink. I’d need a full on bath at some point, but someone would have to help me with that. The idea might have at one time been tantalizing. Now, it just made me sad. I’d stumbled out of the bathroom where Gordon caught me, and now I was in the bed, alone in the room. He’d gone to see what duties he had. Being in bed, I should be safe enough.

I was relaxing, but I wasn’t sleeping. The door swung open, and I tensed. “Who’s there?”

“It’s Ren and me,” Wayne answered, and soon, the door closed behind him. “We heard you were going to try to sleep. We’ve learned some things. Sisters sleep better with two of her guards with her. Better for her energy.”

I’d heard that before. It was hard not to pick up certain things living with other Sisters who had their guards. “I wouldn’t mind company.”

I’d been alone a very long time, except for Katrina, and she didn’t count.

“I’m on your left.” Ren slid in next to me, and Wayne got in the other side. They both jostled around, or at least it felt like they did. Maybe they were simply taking off their shoes. Everything they did seemed so much bigger because I couldn’t see them do it.

Wayne lay back first, pulling me up against him. I didn’t know them as well as I’d have liked, we’d had such a short amount of time together. Yet, I’d thought about them constantly, and there was nothing awkward about this.

“We tried to hold you a little bit on the trip back. But you hadn’t exactly consented so we didn’t go too far.” Ren lay on his side, pressed against me.

That was sweet. “Maybe you guys should tell me everything that happened since I was taken.” It felt like a million years ago.

So they did. They took turns. All the things that had happened. Alexander really being a raven, which threw me for a loop. Their guard training and coming to get me. How Ren had pulled me out. The ride home. Katrina’s attempts to get to them. I found the story riveting, or maybe it was simply hearing them tell it. I craved the sound of their voices, like they were lifelines back to the world outside of Katrina’s brand of hell.

“Thank you for all of that. I’m going to try to be worth all that effort. I’m not sure how I’ll manage, but I will try.”

Wayne shifted slightly. “You’re going to figure this out, Mika. And I have to say that I suddenly believe. You’re awake. We’re going to take you home. You’re a wonderful teacher. I bet you get your eyesight back.”

I groaned, and Ren laughed. “Mika, you are going to be living with Wayne’s optimism now, too.”

“I keep you all from falling into the pits of despair.” Wayne laughed, and Ren snorted. I smiled. Despite everything, this was really nice. I did feel better being in their arms. It was like my energy could sort of let go of me a little bit. I didn’t have to be so on alert. I had them, and they would keep me safe. They were here, they were laughing. There was still joy in the world.

Ren ran a hand down my arm. “You need to sleep, Sister Mika. Let yourself drift off.”

“Maybe I can. But do you think you guys could keep talking for a bit? I… I love the sound of your voices.”

Wayne kissed my cheek. “She means me, Ren. She's just being polite, including you in it. My voice is the one she prefers.”

“Now come on,” Ren joked back. “I was just being nice about you, Wayne. She clearly prefers my dulcet sounds.”

I mock sighed, and they both laughed. Finally it was Wayne who spoke. “My mother used to tell me lots of stories. She was so sick that she often couldn't get out of bed to do things with me. My father was a great playmate. He was very busy, but he always had time for me.”

Ren brushed his knee with mine. “I love your dad and your mom. I mean, I only met your mom a few times. She wasn’t always up for company. But the few times you brought me over and she was downstairs, she was so kind.”

“I…” He sucked in an audible breath. “Yeah, she was. Sorry. Didn't expect to get emotional with this story. I can usually talk about her. I was just thinking how much I wish she’d be there to meet Mika when we got home.”

I searched for his hand, and when I found it, I brought it to my mouth so I could kiss his knuckles. “One thing about what we do, about how we live, is that we never have any doubt about what comes next, right? For the most part, we know, sort of. There’s lots of speculation about what happens if we’re possessed, but let’s assume everyone who was pretty good as a person prior to possession gets a pass, then we know divinity welcomes us home. Your mom, she’d know what happened to you, Wayne. She knows who I am and maybe better than we do, what will be.”

“I like thinking about it like that. I really do.” Wayne tugged on the blanket, pulling it over us. At least I thought it was Wayne. The tugging seemed to be coming from his side of the bed.

“I don't wish my parents were there.” Ren yawned. “Your mom, fine. Your dad will be there, he's great.”

Wayne was quiet for a second. “We assume. I mean we don't know what has happened since we left.”

“Let's not go looking for problems,” Ren interrupted. “Your dad is there. You were saying earlier that your mom told stories.”

Wayne kissed the top of my head. “Right. Before I got all wimpy and emotional. Yes, she used to tell me stories. The ones I’m thinking of today have to do with that tree in the center of town.”

They'd all brought up that tree before. “The one that legend says keeps the demons away.”

“Yes.” His voice raised slightly in pitch. Wayne must be excited I remembered it. “The legend she told me was about the birds. Do you know it, Ren?”

“No.” Ren shrugged, his body jerking when he did. “No one was telling me stories.”

I hated that he’d had such a different time than Wayne. I stroked his arm, feeling the hair and the outline of his muscles. He was so strong. “They should have.”

Wayne continued. “One day a long, long time ago, there was a flock of birds circling the island. Some of the old people claim a man in a black jacket appeared out of nowhere and inserted his cane into the ground. He said a time would come when it would grow into a tree. And it did. I'm wondering if there was some truth to it. If it was Reed.”

I supposed anything was possible. Had Reed gone to protect Peter’s Isle? Why specifically? I didn't have answers. I lay in the warm bed, listening to the small sounds Wayne and Ren made. Eventually, Wayne’s breathing changed. He snored, like he had the one night we spent together before.

Ren laughed, a low sound. “Kick him.”

“What?” I didn’t understand.

“Kick him to get him to stop. Boy snores like a sawmill. He knows it, too. If you kick him, he’ll stop. We’ve shared quarters a long time.”

I shook my head. “I can't kick him. That's an awful thought. He’s sleeping and suddenly I kick him?”

Ren yawned. “Your choice. I can sleep through an explosion.”

“Let me see.” I touched the side of his face gently, and he turned his neck. The snoring stopped, replaced by gentle breathing.

“Well, I guess that works, too.” Ren kissed my cheek. “Goodnight, my Sister.”

I did sleep. In my dream, I ran next to Ren. He laughed, a joyful lightness to his sound. We were on a green field. I could see everything, and the colors were so bright I had to squint against them. Ren was bathed in white light. He let go of my hand and took off to the sky, turning into a raven.

I stopped running and watched him soar. “Cheater,” I called out to him. “You know I can't fly. I'm without wings.”

Oh, but I did love watching him. He sloped downward, buzzing right by my head, and I squealed. What had I ever done to deserve this?

“It’s not what you've done.” Reed's voice caught my attention, and I turned around. “It’s who you are that they fell in love with. And what you will do, that’s what we will all be beholden to you for.”

I shook my head. “I don't know if I can do it.”

“You can. We wouldn’t have asked if you couldn’t do it. Only you can stop her. Only you can stand against the darkness and say not today.” He looked off into the sky. “I'm going to do something I shouldn't do. They're going to take Aspen from me after I do it.”

I gasped. “What? Don't do anything that could take her from you. You’re one of her five.”

“Sacrifices have to be made. She knows about it. She understands. Well, she’s not thrilled. She’s not speaking to me, but she gets it. Sister Superior is furious. If you can lose your sight, if Teagan can spend that time in the mines, if Anne can lose everything, maybe her life, if Daniella can give up her children and never see them again, if Krystal can find that kind of bravery. If Aspen can endure the pain. If the hundreds of you to fight millions can be so incredibly giving and self-sacrificing…” His voice cracked on that one. “How can I do less?”

My body had gone cold, and it was hard for that to happen in this perfect place, in this world of divinity. “You do so much already. This is your Sister. Your chance to be the guard and not just train them. No one would blame you for doing anything else.”

He touched his chest. “I would. And if I’m not willing to give up all of it, then I’m not worthy of Aspen anyway. I’ll be Brother Raven. Whoever promised me love? Find the tree, Mika. Find it as fast as you can and don’t ever leave it again. I’m going to plant you right where you should stay—right by that tree.”

The bird that was one of my five nosedived toward us, shifting as he would hit the ground into his human shape. “Hey, Reed, go see your own Sister. Mine was smiling until you got here.”

Reed shook his head. As captain of their order, he loved all of them like they were his brothers, and they all tormented him constantly. “Maybe don’t leave her alone. What if a demon got here?”

“If a demon got here, then we have more problems than the ones we already have. Demons in divinity is the end of it all. We aren’t going to end. This is just the beginning. We’re going to win.”

Reed shrugged. “Hope you're right.”

Like Ren had done earlier, Brother Raven took to the skies. I watched him for a minute.

“Hey,” Ren kissed my cheek. “What did he say that you lost your smile?”

“He's giving up Aspen. He’s going to do something bad, something that will mean he can’t be with her.”

Ren was quiet. I wondered if he’d heard me. “I don’t have a self-sacrificing bone in my body when it comes to you. I won’t give you up and neither would those four others up there right now. Our alone time is over. Here they come. They found us.”

I laughed, some of the joy I always felt whenever they were around returning. “Were we hiding?”

I sat up in the bed, my heart in my ears. That hadn’t been a dream. It had been a memory. Next to me, Wayne shifted and Ren said something unintelligible. The room was black. No, I had to amend my thinking. It wasn’t the room. I simply couldn’t see anymore.

I lay back down, and Ren rolled over, snuggling tighter against me. His hand came down onto my stomach, splayed out in a gap between my shirt and my pants. I couldn’t see it, but boy could I feel it. Heat traveled through my body fast. What would it feel like to have his hands everywhere?

For that matter, I was suddenly keenly aware of Wayne behind me. He was hard. Everywhere. I swallowed. Nothing was going to happen tonight. I’d just gotten back to them again. Maybe Wayne’s reaction was just… normal for him. Maybe he got hard like that every night.

The door to the room swung open, cutting off my thoughts, and I cried out, alarm running through me like a gust of cold wind. “Who’s there?”

Wayne and Ren both darted up in the bed. It was Wayne who spoke. “Fuck, Neil. She can’t see you. You woke her up and terrified her.”

Neil. It was Neil. “No, it’s okay.” I made myself sink back down in the bed. “I’m sorry. I was awake, actually. I just got scared.”

“Why were you awake?” Wayne asked me at the same time as Neil let out an, “I’m so sorry, Mika. I thought I was quiet.”

Ren reached over me, letting go of my stomach when he did, and I heard him whack Wayne. “Your snoring was probably keeping her awake.”

“Was I snoring?” He sounded so contrite. “I’m sorry, gorgeous. I’m going to figure out how to stop.”

I put my head on my knees. All of this was too much. The blindness. The feelings. Neil had probably been quiet. Everything was so heightened.

“What’s going on?” Ren’s hand rested on my back, and he rubbed a gentle rhythm. “Talk to me.”

“I’m terrified. I fought demons for years. And I agreed to all of this. I had a memory of it. You were in it Ren. You all were but mostly you, Ren. You were a bird. You all were. I’m not explaining this very well. I shouldn’t be so afraid, but I am.” I pressed my forehead deeper into my knees. “I’m not able to do this. Even in that other cursed place I could see.”

Wayne put his hand in my hair, massaging the back of my head, while Ren continued to massage my back. These poor guys. They had done so much to get me back, and I wasn’t keeping it together. Neil climbed onto the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry. I wanted to see your face, just confirm that you were sleeping and okay.”

The door opened and closed again. Two more steps of footsteps sounded, and Neil spoke up. “It’s Lennon and Gordon. You’re safe.”

“Did something happen?” Gordon seemed to be moving toward Wayne while Lennon took a position near Ren. At least that was what it sounded like.

“I’m having a meltdown. Just ignore me. I’ll pull it together.” I had to.

“They don’t need us out there,” Lennon said. “We’ll all stay in here. There are multiple beds. We made this place for Sisters with guards. We’ll all stay. Two might not be enough. She’s had a huge trauma. She needs all of us.”

There was a lot of shuffling around. Neil actually climbed on the bed, and I was placed on top of him like he was going to be my mattress. “This okay?”

I nodded. “Whatever works for you guys. I want you to be able to sleep, too.”

“We will.” Wayne and Ren took their spots on the bed. Nearby, Gordon and Lennon spread out on what must be other sleeping places in the room. I didn’t expect to be able to sleep at all anymore, but the second it was quiet, with all five of them spread around me, I was instantly out cold. No dreams chased me, and it wasn’t until Neil moved the next morning that I woke.

I was stiff like I’d lain there a long time. I rubbed at my eyes, but the darkness didn’t go away. I hadn’t really thought it would. It was more like instinct, I supposed.

“Hey.” Neil squeezed my waist. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you at all.”

“I must be killing you by now.”

He sighed. “Are you kidding? I’m so relaxed.”

Pretty soon, the others were up and moving. One by one they rose, came over, kissed me or touched me. I could get used to this kind of experience. I really must have needed all of them. They’d been like a sleeping tonic. Gordon brought me to the bathroom and waited outside while I took care of my needs. I wanted a shower.

I felt for the door and opened it. “Gordon?”

He took my hand in his. “Right here, beautiful.”

“I want to take a shower.”

“Right.” He let go of my hand to walk past me. “We can make that happen.”

I heard the water go on, and soon heat reached me from across the room. “I take it the hot water is good? Did they get the main house fixed?”

“You mean after you told us to leave you here, which we foolishly did because we were clueless, and then you threw yourself onto the mercy of the demon Beelzebub who then destroyed the house? After that?” He had amusement in his tone. I reached out to touch his face, wanting to feel his smile, and when I found it, I relaxed. He wasn’t actually yelling at me.

I dropped my hand. People were going to have to get used to me feeling for their faces. I hoped it was okay. “Right then. When I begged the most powerful demon I’ll likely ever encounter to take care of mythical wraiths. Did you guys get the house fixed?”

“We did. They worked on it a lot after we left, too. Made some decorating choices I’d not have gone with, but it’s Anne’s estate. She can do as she wishes. When we go back to Peter’s, I’m going to help build you a house that you’ll love.”

The thought was sweet. “It would just be nice not to trip on things. Like if I knew where everything was. Wide open spaces.”

“Done.”

I supposed I could ask him to turn around. Only I didn’t. Standing right there, I stripped off my clothes, knowing full well he watched me. I wouldn’t pretend it didn’t turn me on to think about it. Did he like what he saw? What had happened to his face while he observed?

I grabbed onto his arm and used it as support to get myself into the shower. The hot water hit me, and I sighed. This was nice. I…

Gordon followed me into the shower. He was still dressed—I could feel his clothes—and in seconds, I was against the side of the shower. The tile was cold, having not been touched by the heated water yet. I guessed he liked what he saw.

He kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed me. I tried to keep up and eventually gave in to simply letting him lead me wherever we were going. He pulled back his head. “I can’t take you in the shower the first time. I have to be a gentleman.”

I was breathing hard. “Why? Why do you have to be that?”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Spelled out like that and from Gordon who had been the most hesitant to have anything with me, I gave up any resistance I had for this at all. I swung my arms wildly until I found his shoulders, and then I practically threw myself at him. He caught me, swinging me around in his arms. I was back against the tile. Not sure what was going to happen next, I was glad when he threw his clothes aside. They’d be soaking wet and hard to maneuver. Gordon didn’t seem to care.

“I love you. I loved you from the moment we came through the gate. Then you took down that demon. You’re fearless, brave, kind, beautiful. You suffer, and you keep going. You humble me. And I get to spend my life loving you. Even if you never wanted this, I’d love you from afar. I can’t help it. You are it, Mika.”

I let myself touch his abs, his chest, feeling what I couldn’t see. I still appreciated the sensation. I had a strong image in my head of Gordon. I knew how handsome and powerful he was. I kissed his chin, searching for his lips.

“I loved how you challenged me, Gordon. I fell head over heels for it. In the cursed place, I thought of you all the time. I always saw us arguing until we fell into bed together.”

He made a sound that was close to a moan. “Beautiful woman. That’s what I want, too.”