Determined... (Last Christmas Book 3) by Heather Mar-Gerrison (1)

Determined...

(Last Christmas #3)

Heather Mar-Gerrison

 

 

 

Kindle Edition

Heather Mar-Gerrison Copyright 2017

 

 

Beautiful front cover design courtesy of Shutterstock designs

 

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work.

 

 

 

 

Prologue

 

Elliot

 

Yes, I’d been a bit of a cockslut for a while... for as long as anyone who knew me could remember actually and no, it had never really bothered me before...

Well, there was one time that it had bothered me and that was a couple of years ago when I’d fallen pretty hard for a guy that had come on holiday and then who came back again the year after. I’d been pretty smitten and thought we might rekindle things, only he – and my best mate – had other ideas and they fell headlong in love with each other, leaving me feeling like I was on the outside with my nose pressed against the window... If I’d not been such a prick to George I might well have had more of a chance with him.

Still. I’d long since gotten over that. It was plain to anyone with half an eye that George and Kane totally belonged together. They were perfectly adorable.

Kurt, Kane’s twin brother was equally as adorable with his new found boyfriend (he’d always dated girls before) and I was beginning to feel as if my chances of finding the one were slipping away with my receding hairline...

Something that Kurt, Kane and their respective partners found highly amusing...

 

 

Chapter 1 – Cristian Llardi...

 

Elliot

 

“You are not going bald!” Kurt laughed, rubbing my head and making me squawk loudly before I pulled my beany hat back over my thinning locks.

University was out for Christmas and Kurt and Sebastian had come straight home – well, home for Kurt anyway.

Unusually, Kane and George were also home – they were a right pair of jet-setters recently and had been all over Europe looking to expand the family business into other areas in the adventure-holiday genre but they were sticking around for a few weeks over the Christmas and New Year break and it was really nice for us all to enjoy a little downtime, over a couple of beers. Catching up with the guy these days was a bit of a rarity and I was really enjoying myself.

“It’s because you wear hats.” Kane said slyly, knowing that I’d immediately want to remove my hat and allow the fresh air to get to my hair follicles... I was easily rendered paranoid...

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Sebastian asked kindly. He was such a sweetheart and I could totally see how Kurt had fallen for his subtle charms.

I felt my face heating up. Shit. Was I that transparent? Sebastian had only met me a handful of times since he and Kurt got together last year – the last time being when they were home for the summer break. It had now rolled back around to the winter break and since Kurt had missed Christmas with his family last year, due to realising that he’d fallen headlong in love with his roommate, Sebastian, and had only been back for the New Year; they’d come over to us straight from university for Christmas this year, with plans to spend the first part of their Christmas break with us and to go back to Seb’s family for the New Year. “There’s no special guy.” I mumbled – lying through my teeth of course but there was no way I was about to tell them.

Kane raised an eyebrow, “Oh, yeah?” he asked, “So why are you blushing?”

“Fuck off, will you?” I said defensively. Well, wasn’t that the wrong thing to say? All four of them turned to me with their mouths open and then...

“Oh, my God!” That was George.

“You really have met someone!” That was Kane, looking utterly delighted for me.

“What’s his name?” That was Sebastian.

“The boy’s finally been tamed. We have to meet this mystical creature.” And that was Kurt, grinning knowingly and looking like a Cheshire cat.

I smiled bashfully back at them all, my heart swelling with their combined enthusiasm, “I’d love you to meet him but he’s rarely around here – he’s a flight attendant...”

I didn’t actually expect any of them to know whom I was talking about, since he didn’t even live in France anymore. He was from across the border and his family lived in Turin, but he had his own apartment in Les Arcs and he spent most of his down time skiing in the winter and mountain biking in the summer. He was totally into the same things that I was. He was amazing...

I was wrong about them being clueless though. Kurt was right on it. “Are you talking about Cristian Llardi by any chance?” He was looking at me curiously.

My jaw dropped. I couldn’t lie when my face was probably giving me away, anyway, “Yes.” I admitted since there was little point in denying it, “How the fuck did you know?”

He shrugged, “You’ve been so smitten with him for the last couple of years – and over this last year you seem to have kind of slowed down your, uh, activities...”

I blushed. Fuck I’d been totally busted. “Well, I couldn’t carry on the way I was...”

Kane raised an eyebrow and George smiled, “Took you long enough to work that one out.” They said in unison and then burst out laughing that they were thinking exactly the same thing as each other.

I nodded with a massive sigh, “I know.” I agreed, “But honestly, I’m sure I’ve left it too late. He doesn’t take me seriously. I’ve just been his ‘sure thing’ when he gets home from jet setting all over the world. He meets new, exciting guys every day – all of them with far more to offer him than I’ve got – hell, some of them are celebrities.” Footballers, actors, pop stars. He’d met loads of people – and you’d be surprised how many ‘straight’ guys actually weren’t...

The guys were all looking at me with concern and sympathy on their faces. I didn’t feel particularly comfortable about that. I didn’t want to admit to them that I hadn’t heard from him since he’d left me sleeping in his bed more than a month ago. I was more interested in a solution to my problem – for them to tell me how to achieve what they all had – eternal love and happiness with the man of their dreams... Before I could stop my traitorous mouth, I was spilling my guts and begging them all for help.

“Tell him.” Kane said, “Tell him how you feel about him – what’s the worst that can happen?”

I pulled a face, “Well, he could laugh in my face and tell me to get a life. He’s not interested in a relationship...”

Sebastian shook his head, “How do you know that?” he asked, “You have no idea what’s going on inside his head. Look at me and Kurt – I was convinced he was straight...”

Kurt chuckled, “And I was convinced I was a homophobe. We got there in the end, though – because we talked about it.” He looked at Sebastian with such a look of raw adoration I wanted to cry.

“I’ll think about it.” I muttered.

George nudged my arm, “Make sure you do, bud.” He said, “That guy’s good for you. Make sure you do.”

 

 

Chapter 2 – Elliot Galbraith...

 

Cristian

 

The first time I ever laid eyes on Elliot Galbraith was when I was twelve years old. It was the height of summer when we moved to France – Mum and Dad were property developers and had decided, since making their first million quid that they were going to buy a holiday home with a twist in the French Alps – and it was so hot and not just from the heat of the sun.

I was totally stoked to move. Being into BMXing in a big way it was absolutely the right thing for me. The area they were looking at lent itself to skiing and snowboarding in the winter, which I was totally up for learning – and mountain biking in the summer. I would happily trade my BMX for a mountain bike and take to those amazing hills...

Anyway... Like I said, I was twelve, almost thirteen and a couple of days after we’d arrived, Mum and Dad had shooed us out of the house so they could start decorating (God help us) and I was riding along this cycle path with my older brother, Allesandro, when we saw, up ahead, a young man in the road – probably around the same age as Allesandro.

He was wearing a pair of cut-off jeans with a pair of battered old Converses that were faded blue. He was bare-chested and he had a deep tan, making his nipples look dark brown. Oh, yeah – I totally checked him out. He was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on. I already knew I wasn’t like the other boys I was at school with and I wasn’t sorry to leave. I’d never fit in. I wasn’t into football or girls and it occurred to me in that moment, what I’d long suspected – that it wasn’t that I just didn’t share their passions. I wasn’t like other guys – but I really did like other guys – it occurred to me that I might well be gay.

Not that I hadn’t had an inkling before; like I said, all my male classmates appeared to fancy girls and I never had – but seeing Elliot Galbraith for the first time, hammered the point home like nothing on earth. I was instantly smitten – tongue-tied and flustered, I grant you – but definitely smitten...

Allesandro of course, being an obtuse clot had absolutely no idea about my inner turmoil and stopped his bike to introduce himself. Looking back, I guess it was far more awkward for him to have been shipped out to a foreign country to finish his last year in school and he was looking for people to build his friendship group.

Elliot was very friendly. “Oh, hi – you must be Allesandro Llardi.” He said with a massive grin that made my heart just about thump right through my chest, “Our Maths teacher mentioned you – you’re his nephew or something...?”

Allesandro nodded, “Yeah,” he said with a laugh, “Nice to meet you – have you, uh, have you got a puncture or something?”

They chatted together and, since no one was talking to me, I leant my bike up against the railings on the other side of the path and sat myself down on the grass – where I could ogle Elliot, quite unnoticed.

As I watched them fixing the bike I couldn’t help noticing that Elliot was flirting with Allesandro – or trying to at least.

There was little point. He was as straight as a die and had never expressed any sort of interest in any of his friends other than being friends. He was totally into boobs.

I opened my mouth to point this out, then thought the better of it and clamped it shut again. Elliot didn’t come across as stupid. He’d work it out – but I wasn’t stupid either and in that moment, hope bloomed in my chest that one day... one day, Elliot would be mine...

 

 

Chapter 3 – All grown up...

 

Elliot

 

Cristian had always been a cute kid but the first time I really noticed that he wasn’t a kid anymore was a couple of Christmas’s ago when we were all home for the holidays and he was walking through the airport with the rest of the cabin crew.

Cristian’s family home was now in Turin. His brother Allesandro had met and married the prettiest girl imaginable a couple of years before and Cristian had been flying around the globe as a flight attendant since finishing college.

I was amazed that he’d gone for that job. It was nothing like the way he’d been as a kid. He’d been into everything sporty imaginable and had taken up mountain biking and parkour in the summer months, and once his first winter on the slopes had come to an end, he was on the local snowboarding team and a very accomplished skier.

I missed him, too – he’d always been around when we were kids. He might have been four years younger than the rest of us but we were all perfectly happy to have him around – well, he was Allesandro’s kid brother and if he didn’t tag along he was just stuck indoors all day – no fun in that...

We were quite a group for a while, before everyone started leaving to pursue their careers and started meeting their respective partners – like I said, Allesandro kicked it all off by meeting the love of his life and getting married a couple of years back and then of course George came back, and Kane snaffled him from under my nose while I was busy flirting with Cristian and then Kurt ended up with his roommate, Sebastian from university and all of a sudden I was the only single one left out of us all – with the exception of Cristian... Now, you might think that was the perfect scenario, but it wasn’t. Because as flirty as he liked to be with me whenever he came home, which was actually quite a lot – we never seemed to get anywhere with each other and that had been fine to begin with – I wasn’t interested in anything more than a casual hook-up and neither was he. That was, until we actually had the hook-up and it was the best sex I’d ever had in my life...

That was the best part of two years ago, now, but to be fair we’d been dancing around the issue ever since – wasting time and messing around with other guys – well, I had anyway and I’m pretty sure Cris would have been having fun while he was away, too. Why wouldn’t he?

The first time we’d had any sort of sexual interaction with each other was when he was home for two weeks for the Christmas break a couple of years ago – it was the same year that Kane and George got together – and to be honest, Cristian coming home that year had totally taken the edge off the hurt I’d felt that George wasn’t interested in me...

Cristian had disappeared off my radar a fair few years previously to that but then suddenly there he was – at the airport, dressed to impress in his flight attendant’s uniform and looking fucking adorable. I’d been instantly intrigued and had abandoned my best mate, Kane, who had only come to the airport to meet my cousin and her friend, George, in favour of pursuing a reunion with him.

He’d been just as delighted to see me as I had him and I’ve been grateful to my best friend ever since – not that I’d ever tell him that – for noticing Cristian in the first place.

 “Hey, Elliot,” Kane tapped my arm sharply as we walked along, on our way to pick up my cousin, Eleanor and her best friend, George. “Isn’t that Cristian Llardi?”

Cristian? Fuck! I hadn’t seen him in years... I turned to follow his eye-line and sucked in a sharp breath as I saw him. He was walking along with a group of similarly dressed men and women but not one of them held a candle to the way he looked, which was absolutely fucking gorgeous, “Oh, my God.” I breathed, “It is Cristian,” and he’s going to be mine, “what the fuck is he doing back here?” Please let him be staying around, please...

Kane shrugged. Well, of course he wasn’t going to know – it was a purely rhetorical question – but I was going to find out... “Dunno.” he said, being the obtuse bastard that he was, “Come on, let’s get a drink or something while we wait.”

No fucking way. I want to talk to Cristian... “Sure, sure.” I said, But no. There was no way I could pass up this chance, “I’m uh, just gonna go and say hello...” I shot off after them.

“Cristian!” I shouted as I got nearer, “Hey, Cristian!”

To my delight he turned and the look on his face when he saw it was me was absolutely breathtaking. God, he was utterly beautiful. “Oh, my God!” he fluttered his hands in front of himself with excitement, “Elliot!”

He left the others and hurried towards me, his hips swinging as he pulled his carry-on behind him like a total pro.

We chatted for a while and then I remembered that I was actually here for a reason other than meeting Cris. “I’m actually supposed to be meeting Ellie.” I told him, looking around to see where Kane had gotten to. He was sat in the café with two coffees. I pulled Cris over to say hello.

“Hey, Kane,” I said, beaming all over my face at my find, “Say hi to Cristian – he’s back here for the Christmas break.”

Kane looked mildly surprised, “I thought you’d moved to Spain.”

He nodded, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, not quite – my family moved to Turin, Italy.” He said, “But I’ve got my own apartment in Les Arcs.”

Wow! His own apartment? That was pretty cool – not to say, very convenient. Maybe we could make use of that...

He was telling Kane all about it, “Grandma died and left me and my brother – you remember Allesandro?” Kane nodded and Cristian smiled, “Well, she left us both quite a decent amount of money...” Cristian was explaining about his apartment and I watched him as he spoke. He looked utterly beautiful.

“I’ll have to come and see it.” I said enthusiastically.

Cristian nodded, his eyes twinkling with something that I was pretty sure was more than just friendly interest, “Absolutely.” He said, “What about Sunday?”

Fuck! He wanted to see me alone. “Sounds great.” I said.

Cristian’s grin was utterly stunning and my dick was definitely beginning to show an interest, “Brilliant,” he said, “I’ll text you the address.”

He leaned in and kissed me – just a press of his lips against mine but I could still feel my lips tingling long after he’d pulled away. Oh, my God... I couldn’t wait for Sunday...

Kane raised his eyebrows at my, “Don’t go breaking that little guy’s heart.” He warned, “He’s adorable and you already know that he’s always loved you.”

I blinked, “Has he?” I asked. I didn’t know that... How the hell had I missed that?

Anyway, that visit to his apartment had been the beginning of a very slow-burning romance between the two of us – not that it wasn’t the hottest sex I’d ever had – it was just that neither of us seemed willing to tell the other the way we really felt, so it was kind of like treading water and waiting for the life raft that was always just too far out of reach...

 

 

Chapter 4 – First kiss...

 

Cristian

 

Meeting up with Elliot again after not seeing him for a few years – or at least, not seeing him as a friend – was kind of surreal.

And the fact that he’d chased after me was something that made my heart pound. I’d been absolutely floored when I heard someone shouting my name – who the fuck knew my name? When I turned to find Elliot stood there looking at me with a slightly stunned but very interested expression on his face, excitement flooded my whole body, leaving me feeling slightly light-headed and disoriented. It reminded me of the way he’d looked at my brother all those years ago when I was just a kid and I knew my luck was in. He wanted me.

My first reaction had been to run to him and to fling my arms around his neck for a hug. Well, I couldn’t deny it – I fucking loved a big gesture...

Once we’d gotten chatting, it was like we’d never been apart. We had so much to tell each other and when I asked him to come to see my new apartment, he was really keen.

We agreed that I’d text him with the address and then I had to get going – there was still all of the behind the scenes paperwork to do before I finished my shift – even if I wasn’t on board I was still technically at work.

For the rest of the day I really couldn’t get Elliot off my mind. It was like I’d been transported back in time to when I’d followed him around like a little lamb – and yes, looking back, it did make me feel a little embarrassed but in my defence, he’d always made me feel like I was wanted. Not like the rest – my brother Allesandro and Kane and Kurt had always rolled their eyes at me hanging around – but Elliot had always indulged me.

I sent him the text of my address and added, “Sunday at 5pm?”

He almost immediately texted me back with a smiley face and “Great, I’ll see you then.”

That was when I started to panic. What the hell was I going to wear? Should I cook? Take-away? Go out? Oh, my God! I went into a full-on meltdown...

I needn’t have worried, Elliot turned up with a bag of Chinese take-out and a bottle of wine for us to share, “I uh, wondered if I could kip on the couch?” he said, holding up the bottle.

My dick immediately sprang to attention. He was inviting himself to sleep over? That could only spell one thing in my somewhat limited experience of men – he wanted sex – and I was only too willing to agree. “Sure.” I smiled, “Fancy watching a movie? Playing on the games console?”

His grin was mesmerising, “I’m sure we’ll think of something to entertain ourselves.” He said with a sexy wink.

Fuck. This was really happening. I was finally going to get my man...

 

 

Chapter 5 – Different...

 

Elliot

 

I’d never really gotten worked up over a date before – but then I’d never really cared enough about the guy I was dating to bother before, either.

Cristian was different, though. I couldn’t put my finger on how or why he was different – he just was. He was Cristian.

I’d known him forever. Known he was gay forever too, come to that – I’d just never seen him as someone that I could sleep with. But now...

Well, he was a man now. He was what? Nineteen? Twenty? I knew he was four years behind us in school but that didn’t mean he was quite that far behind me in years – hell, my birthday was in August – I’d always been the youngest in my year – and yet I was sure his birthday was around September or October time so really he was only just over three years younger than me – and besides, who the hell cared anyway. He was an adult – he had a really good job, his own place and he was fucking beautiful.

It wasn’t clear if he was single or otherwise, so I didn’t want to get ahead of myself but I was pretty confident that he wouldn’t have asked me over if he was serious about someone else. Cristian had never struck me as the cheating kind – and I was never actually committed to anyone so I never cheated on guys. I was a one-time-only kind of guy – until it came to Cristian...

I’d been thinking about him all day and I was so nervous when it came to finally setting off to go and find his apartment.

I didn’t tell either Kane or Kurt what I was doing. I didn’t really think it was any of their business – and besides, Kurt was far too busy trying to chat up Ellie at every given moment – and Kane had jumped right into getting to know George better. I had no fucking chance besides Kane. He was drop-dead gorgeous and so much nicer than I was...

I smiled as I thought of Cris. He’d never really thought badly of me – well, he’d never told me what a bad man I was, anyway. He was so damned cute...

He’d always had a lisp when he was young and it had always been very apparent when he got excited or upset. I absolutely adored hearing it and I wondered if he still had it now that he was all grown up.

If I was going to be honest with myself – something I had a little difficulty with from time to time, truth be known – I just absolutely adored him and I always had.

Anyway... I arrived at his apartment right on time, having called into a Chinese take-away on the way to get us something to eat. On a whim, I’d also picked up a bottle of wine. I could hardly drive back home after sharing that, though... Maybe I could ask if I could stay over. Nothing had to happen between us. Hell, I had no idea if he would even consider anything happening...

He opened the door and his eyes swept up and down my body before he looked back up into my eyes and smiled that incredible smile of his, “Hi,” He said, “Come on in.”

“I brought food.” I held up the bag, “And wine – could I maybe crash on your couch?”

He grinned, “Of course you can.”

I looked around his apartment. Oh, my God. He knew how to decorate and he knew how to accessorise. I was such a guy by comparison. I honestly had no flair for décor whatsoever and I really didn’t care if my bedspread matched the curtains. It just wasn’t important to me.

Once I’d been given the tour, we settled down in front of the TV, with the Chinese food set out on his coffee table and chatted and ate and drank the wine.

There was absolutely no awkwardness between us, not a beat of silence – we chatted and laughed and he told me all about his flights – some great, some awful – but every one was entertaining in one way or another. He told me about a couple of guys he’d hooked up with who had been passengers on his flights too.

I was a little shocked if I’m honest. I would never have thought he’d be into casual flings but he seemed well up for them...

“...It’s not like I was ever going to see him again – he was getting married to his fiancé. Good luck with that, girl...”

My jaw dropped, “You slept with a straight guy that was getting married?” Fuck. He was worse than I was...

He nodded, “Sure.” He said with a mischievous grin, “He was cute. He asked me out. I knew nothing about his girlfriend until after he’d totally nailed me.” He shrugged his shoulders, “On the one hand, she’s a lucky girl – he was very well endowed. On the other – if he’s into fucking gay flight attendants, then she’d be better off without him – he’s a business man – he’s on and off flights more times than he’s not – he’s not going to stop fancying the trolley-dollies, is he?”

I shook my head, feeling a little dumbfounded at his straightforwardness. Fuck. He really was a man now...

He stood up and held his hand out to me, “Come on.” He said, “Let’s go to bed.”

I looked up at him a little startled, “Honest,” I squeaked, suddenly suffering an attack of stage fright. What if he thought I was terrible at kissing? Or, what if my cock wasn’t big enough? Hell, he’d only just been telling me that he’d been serviced by a guy the size of a horse... “I’m good with the couch...” But I really want to suck your cock and fondle your balls and God help me, I really want to fuck your tight hole...

He rolled his eyes, “Fuck that.” He scoffed, “I’ve wanted you in my bed since the first time I ever laid eyes on you. I was twelve years old and you’d got that flat tyre.”

I stared at him, “Wow,” I said, “I remember that. I’ve gotta be honest – I kind of thought you were just a little kid.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, well – I was just a little kid but I still knew what I wanted. You were fucking ripped – and all tanned from being outside all summer long.”

I grinned, “I still am pretty ripped – although the tan’s definitely faded now that we’re in December.” I said, “Wanna take a look?”

He let out a bit of a growl that kind of startled me. Cristian really didn’t look the type to growl and it was surprising, sure – but very, very sexy.

 

 

Chapter 6 – Finally...

 

Cristian

 

Elliot really was into me. I could tell. And I was so damned excited about it. This was what I’d been waiting for, for the last seven years.

Finally I was going to know what it was like to kiss him, and to touch him – and I really couldn’t wait a second longer.

I pulled him up by his hands, grinning all over my face that we were going to bed – together – and led him to my bedroom. This was the boldest I’d ever been with a guy – and he was the first guy I’d ever had in my bedroom too. I refused to acknowledge that I’d been saving my own bed for Elliot and I...

Before we got into my room, Elliot spun me around, “Cris,” he murmured, “I need to do something.”

I blinked, “What?”

He smiled at me, and cupped his hand around the back of my head, “This,” he said as his lips closed over mine. Holy moly! I’d never felt anything quite so perfect before in my life. He really knew how to kiss. His lips were soft and warm and had just the right amount of moisture. I hated guys who just shoved their tongue in my mouth and covered me in sloppy saliva – and neither could I stand guys that did nothing but allow me to delve into their mouths. I liked a partner – someone who wanted to take part in the kiss. Elliot was... perfection.

He teased my bottom lip, nipping at it with his teeth and stroking the tip of his tongue along the underside of my top lip before delving in a little further and licking into my mouth, giving my tongue some very welcome attention. Fuck, he was a good kisser.

I returned the kiss with enthusiasm. I was completely overwhelmed with the way our mouths fit together so well, the way our tongues duelled, the way he licked into my mouth and the little needy moans he made – I wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it. But it wasn’t just his mouth that was addictive. The hand that had been cupping my head to bring me closer to him had moved down to the back of my neck and his other hand was gripping my hip. It occurred to me that our bodies were close, but not quite close enough for my liking. I pressed my hips into his – I needed him to know what his kiss was doing to me. I was pleased to find I was having the same effect on him. His cock felt big, and hard and I desperately wanted to see what it looked like.

I pulled away from his kiss and smiled. “Wow.” I murmured, “That was some kiss. Let’s get into bed.”

Elliot nodded, a bit of a shell-shocked expression on his face that sent a little thrill of fear through me. I ignored the feeling steadfastly. There was no fucking way I was going to stop now that we’d got this far. I’d waited too fucking long – if he wanted to call it a mistake in the morning then I’d deal with the way that made me feel tomorrow...

Seconds later I was beginning to think everything would be perfectly fine again. Elliot was happily discarding his clothing, down to his boxer shorts and had gotten into bed. He lay there, grinning up at me as I stripped down to my boxers and slipping under the quilt beside him.

“You’re pretty damned ripped yourself.” Elliot murmured, “You really take care of yourself, don’t you?”

I nodded, “Well, I try to.” I admitted, “I still go mountain-biking as often as I can – and I still run. I don’t do the parkour stuff too much anymore – you really have to stay on top of your game doing that and since I got the job flying all over the place, I can’t commit to it as much.”

He nodded, “Sure, that makes sense.” He leaned in and captured my mouth in his again and we kissed lazily for a while, rubbing our cocks together as we did so until it started to get too much for me. I really needed that cock in my mouth...

 I pulled away and shuffled down the bed. “Get your boxers off.” I murmured. He groaned with pleasure and slid them off as fast as possible. I admired his long, thick heavy-looking cock as it lay against his stomach for a moment before I started to lick my way up his leg to his balls. I’d always loved the scent of Elliot. It was one of the things I’d always noticed about him – his hygiene regime. He was always pristinely clean – unlike my brother who would go cycling for hours and then lounge around the house stinking of stale sweat. Ew! Who did that?

Anyway... Elliot’s body wash and deodorant were a fantastic combination but there was also the definite scent that was just uniquely him and the fabulous musky scent surrounding me right now was pretty damned intoxicating. I took one of his balls into my mouth and sucked.

“Fuuuck!” Elliot shouted out in surprise, “Cris! That feels fucking incredible!”

I wrapped my hand around his rigid cock and started working him. “Yeah, it does,” I agreed, “I’ve wanted to touch you since... well, since I first laid eyes on you actually.” Well, what was the point in not telling him? It was true.

I looked up at Elliot and my dick went rock hard as I found him watching me as I sucked on his balls and worked his cock. He groaned and flopped his head back against my pillow. I smiled to myself. He was fucking loving it.

I swapped, sucking his other ball into my mouth, while I continued to work his cock. He was getting harder and harder.

He gasped, “Stop, stop.” He started to push my head away from himself.

I looked up at him. It was time to suck that beautiful, long, thick cock until he came... He was staring back at me in shock as I closed my lips around the head of his cock and started sucking. I stroked his balls with one hand and held his hip with my other hand, keeping him exactly where I wanted him. I closed my eyes, getting lost in the feel of his hard cock in my mouth, bumping against the back of my throat as he started to move his hips – whether he was aware that he was doing it or not – it was a total turn-on.

He was really enjoying the feel of his cock in my mouth. I knew he was enjoying it – because I could taste his pre-come. He really was going to blow his load any second now and there was no way on this earth that I was stopping him.

“Cris!” he hissed, “You’ve gotta stop, baby. I’m really gonna fucking come!”

Stop? Fuck that! I wanted it. I pulled him even deeper into my mouth and sucked a little harder. I put even more pressure on the underside of his cock with my tongue. Holy fucking hell, this was the best Christmas present ever. Come on baby, give it to me...

“Unghhhhh!” As Elliot finally let go, I felt his hot streams of come filling my mouth. I swallowed and worked his cock through his orgasm until there was nothing left. I continued to suck him until he softened slightly, “Holy shit!” he breathed, gazing at me as if I was some sort of super hero.

I pulled off his softening cock with a dirty sounding slurp and smiled up at him.

He looked back at me with a bit of a shell-shocked expression on his face. Before he could freak out (not that I thought he would but you never knew) I crawled back up the bed and kissed him. I could still taste him and I wasn’t sure he’d like being able to taste himself but I really couldn’t help myself. I totally devoured his mouth, stroking my tongue against his in almost the same way as I’d just been manipulating his cock.

He groaned into the kiss as his hands explored my body and his hand wrapped around my still very hard cock.

“So, what would you have me do to relieve this?” he asked.

I shrugged, “Suck it?” I offered, “Or shall I rubber up and pound you into the mattress?”

His jaw dropped, “You’re a top?”

I grinned, “I can be anything you want me to be, baby.” I drawled. “I’m very versatile.”

“Oh, my God.” He breathed, “You’re fucking awesome.”

I smiled, “So what’s it gonna be? Want me to fuck you – or would you rather suck me?”

His eyelids were heavy with desire, “I’d love to suck you.” He said, “But I’m also very curious about how you’d pound me into the mattress.”

I raised an eyebrow, “You don’t think I could?” I asked. I totally could. I was very good at fucking guys. I’d fucked loads of big guys – and loads of skinny guys – and I’d been fucked by a lot of guy too. As I said, versatility was one of my strong points.

He grinned, “I’m damned sure you could – and that kind of scares me, so I’ll suck you.”

I smiled. “Fine,” I agreed, crawling up his body and offering my cock to his waiting mouth.

He slid his hands around the back of my arse and pulled my cheeks apart. He stroked his fingertips across my hole and inserted a finger or two as he totally devoured my cock with his mouth. I came quickly and just as I had, he swallowed everything I had and continued to suck me until I was soft.

“Too much.” I gasped after a while, “Stop – it’s too sensitive.”

He pulled off me with a little ‘pop’ and smiled up at me, “Wow,” he growled, “I could suck you all night once I get started, you’re delicious, baby.”

I smiled as I slid off him, “Thanks – so are you.”

I settled myself at his side and lay my head on his chest. He put his arm around me. It was as if I’d been made to fit right there. Perfection....

 

*

 

The day after it was almost as if the sex had never happened between us.

I couldn’t say that Elliot was standoffish, because he wasn’t. He was still attentive and flirty and I was thoroughly enjoying flirting and chatting with him but there was nothing more.

However, the day after did go in my favour with getting George off his radar. I totally manoeuvred him into the waiting arms of Kane and had Elliot all to myself for the night again – pure bliss.

I’d noticed that as much as Elliot was still flirting with me all day, he was definitely distracted with the amount of time Kane and George were spending together and he kept going over to them, joining in with their conversations and leaving me to chat to Kurt and Ellie, which I was happy enough to do – there was zero chemistry going on between those two so it wasn’t as if I was the awkward third wheel. They were just being friendly with each other and Kurt was telling her of his plans to go to uni the following September – and good for him too.

It was while we were chatting that I had my fabulous idea – truth or dare had always been one of my favourite games – and I really wanted to ask Elliot some questions to see if he’d be honest enough to answer them or if he’d rather take a dare...

The game started off with us all in good spirits, “Okay,” I grinned around, chuffed to pieces that our old friendship group was all back together – I’d missed the banter. I pulled my cards out of my jacket pocket and grinned around, “Truth or Dare!”

Kane groaned. Clearly he didn’t think much of the game – well, let’s see if we could change his mind about that. I’d noticed that he was quite smitten with George – and if I could get those two together – it allowed me more time with Elliot. I really didn’t want Elliot rekindling things with that guy – as far as I was concerned, the less time he had with him, the better – for me.

I spun the bottle (Yeah it was a bit of a mash-up game) and it landed on Kane. Trying my best not to grin manically, I asked the first question, “First crush?”

He went bright red and his eyes flickered towards Elliot. No fucking way? Elliot? Jesus, we were all after the same guy – and Kane was far better looking than me – he was taller for a start... Fuck. “Uh, I’d rather not say,” he stammered, “So I’ll take the dare instead.”

Brilliant! He wasn’t going to admit it. I sent up a silent thank you and picked one of my forfeit cards. It was the one I was saving for myself and Elliot – and no, I wasn’t above cheating at the game to get another kiss with him – but I’d just make sure Kane kissed George instead. All was fair in love and war after all...

“Brilliant!” I murmured, beginning to feel a little nervous. I picked a card from the forfeit pile and read it out, trying my best not to grin too broadly, “You have to kiss another member of our crew for one minute. And I have a timer...”

The look on Kane’s face was priceless but he valiantly nodded his head, “Right,” he said, “pass the hat. I’ll pick a name – but I’m not kissing my brother.”

“Sure, sure.” I agreed, “Because that would just be weird – horny for us lot who’ve always fantasised about twins – or maybe that’s just me,” I giggled as I noticed the frown on Elliot’s face as he darted a look at me, “It would be weird all the same.”

Kane smiled nervously and then he looked around, his eyes rested on George, who was staring back at him, looking frozen with fear. Interesting...

Kane put his hand in the hat and drew it back out. I held my breath. Please make it George, please make it George...

“George.” Kane’s voice rang out loud and clear. Bingo!

George nodded and stood up. There were whoops and cheers as he did so.

Kane wasted no time. He stepped forward, wrapped George up in his arms and kissed him. I almost forgot to time it – it was a very hot kiss...

After a minute I rang my little bell and eventually they stopped. I’m not gonna lie – both looked a little dazed.

I grinned, “Right,” I said, “Who’s next?”

Elliot jumped up, “Me.” he said, “Ask me anything.”

I chewed my bottom lip, “How many men have you slept with this week?”

He grinned, “One,” he said, “And he was the best I’ve ever had.”

Oh, my God. He was talking about me... The best he’d ever had? Oh, my God!

With slightly shaking hands I had to move on – he’d answered the question so I had to continue to the next person – even though I was bursting to ask him something else.

After a few more rounds, we had a few more drinks and Kane and Kurt wanted to play on the games console. Elliot and I went to get a drink at the bar, “Did you mean that?” I asked.

He turned to me with bright eyes and a small smile, ‘Yes.” He said, “Of course I meant it.”

I nodded, “Wanna do it again before I go back to work?”

He smiled, “Yes, I would.” He said, “I’d like to do that with you again every time you come home.”

Fuck. It was almost everything I’d ever wanted... I thought I was happy hooking up. Well, maybe things would progress. If I really was the best he’d ever had (and yes, I was focusing on that quite a lot) then surely he’d want things to become more exclusive as time went on...

 

*

 

It was a couple of months into whatever it was that had developed between us that I realised something – and that was that nothing else was ever going to develop between us.

Elliot simply wasn’t capable of having a relationship. It was sad; hell, it was heart-breaking because I’d totally fallen for him – but it was true. Having said that – I wasn’t really in a position to try to pursue one with him either, because I spent pretty much six months of the year away anyway. It wasn’t ideal, but I decided that for now, I was going to settle for sex with him whenever I was home – and we’d see where it took us. Stupid, I know – but I was totally hooked on him and honestly, it seemed like a pretty good idea at the time...

 

 

Chapter 7 – Too much, too soon...

 

Elliot

 

That first time together... I’m not gonna lie, it had been absolutely incredible.

Between you and me, I’d been a bit freaked out about how good it felt. Cris really wasn’t a kid anymore but my settings hadn’t really caught up so once I’d recovered from my post-orgasmic glow, I started to beat myself up for taking advantage of him. He was too young for me...

Cris was completely oblivious to my internal meltdown and was happily snuggling into my side following our mutual blowjobs. After a while he’d started pressing his rigid cock up against my leg and rutting into me while snogging my face off. I couldn’t deny that kissing him was something else and I returned every one of them with fervour. I took his cock in my hand and he fucked into it until he came. I’d been fascinated to watch his cock erupt between us and I really wanted more. I wanted to feel his cock in my mouth again. Hell, I wanted so much more than that if I was honest, I wasn’t sure why the idea entered my head but suddenly I wanted him to be mine...

I lay looking up at the ceiling as Cris slept soundly at my side. I’d never stayed over at a guy’s place before so that alone was beginning to freak me out a bit, but what was really blowing my mind was the way I felt.

Usually I couldn’t wait to get back out of the door – or to see a guy to the door if we were at my place. To see the back of a guy after we’d just got each other off was usually my favourite part of the evening – apart from the obvious. But with Cristian... Well, hell I’d never felt anything like this with a guy before – I was totally becoming a cuddler – and we’d seen each other numerous times, which was something I’d never been in the habit of doing before...

He mumbled in his sleep and snuggled closer, slinging an arm across my stomach and resting his head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. It felt so damned good. His warm breath was fanning my neck with each breath he took and all I wanted to do was to turn into him and wrap him up in my arms and kiss his beautiful mouth until he was awake and ready to go another round... Oh, God. What the hell was happening to me?

 

 

Chapter 8 – Going nowhere...

 

Cris

 

I really thought that after months of hooking up every time I got home, that things might have progressed between Elliot and I – or at least I’d hoped.

Sadly, he wasn’t anywhere near ready to settle down with one guy and following a series of visits home with stolen kisses, sneaky blowjobs in his car and sex wherever and whenever we could manage it, I was back on the planes and he was back to teaching skiing in the winter months, and leading mountain biking groups with dozens of hot guys on holiday in the summer. I was, therefore, for the main part of his year, more than likely forgotten about.

I can’t deny that Elliot always found time to fit me into his sex schedule whenever I came back to town – I always let him know I was coming back and I was big and bold enough to ask him to come over for sex.

But if I’m really honest, I was beginning to hate the friends-with-benefits thing we had going on – but I had no idea how to make it into anything else...

I was on the plane, coming into land and wondering if he would be waiting at the airport. He seemed to have sixth sense about when I was going to be dropping in...

I got through passport control and trying my best to quell the nervous feeling in my stomach, I walked out into the arrivals lounge with my head held high. I wasn’t going to cry if he wasn’t there – but if he was – well, he was about to be devoured...

 

 

Elliot

 

I’d battled with myself for a good half-an-hour before I’d set off for the airport. I knew he was coming home because he always texted me the night before to say he’d be in – but he never said what time. I’d just gotten really good at second-guessing him and I’d never turned up at the wrong time yet.

Was this the one time that I got it wrong? I waited with baited breath. Come on. Come on, Crissy baby... I was absolutely dying to see him.

Finally, there he was, walking like he owned the goddamn airport, swinging his hips, owning the whole place. God, I loved him...

“Hey! Cris!”

He turned towards me and then his face broke into the biggest smile and he waved, dragging his little case behind him as fast as he could carry it, “Elliot!” he shouted, “You came!”

Not yet I hadn’t but it could totally be arranged... I grinned, “Well, of course I did – I’ve been missing you.”

He grinned, “Well, I’m all yours if you want me – for forty eight hours straight.”

I smiled back at him, “Then let’s get you home as fast as possible, huh?”

He nodded and we headed for my car. I slung his case in the back seat and then held his door open. I don’t know what it was about Cris, but I always wanted to act like a gentleman around him.

He, on the other hand, didn’t feel it necessary the other way around, “Can I suck your cock?”

I looked at him sideways, “What sort of a question is that?” I asked, “The answer is always going to be ‘hell, yes!’”

He grinned, “I meant right now.”

Fuck. He was sexy. I cleared my throat, “We’re in a car park – and we have to pass a guy a ticket on the way out.”

He grinned even wider, “I know.” He said, “Let’s give him something to remember when he gets to bed tonight.”

“Oh, fuck. You’re such a handful.” I chuckled.

He winked, “I’ll say.” He joked, “But so are you – and a mouthful if I’m lucky.”

He looked at me expectantly. I pondered his suggestion for about three seconds before lust won out and I slid my jeans and my boxer shorts down my legs, exposing my hard cock for Cristian to see.

“Ohhh,” he groaned, stroking his fingertips along my length and making my dick twitch with anticipation. “Just as perfect as I’d remembered, let me at you.”

He leaned across the centre console and enveloped the tip of my cock in his hot, wet mouth. Fuck. That felt better than... well, than anything I’d ever felt before, actually... apart from the last time he’d done it. No one came close to the way Cris made me feel.

He pulled off me with a ‘pop’ and grinned, “Drive, then.” He demanded, “Let’s go to my place. I want you naked – and as quickly as possible.”

Well, there was no arguing with that, was there?

I drove to the barrier. The guy in the ticket booth didn’t even take his eyes off whatever it was he was watching on his monitor, which was a bit of shame, because Cristian was moaning and groaning around my cock shamelessly and he looked fucking awesome with his own cock straining the fabric quite impressively of his smart work trousers.

We set off again. “Free your own cock.” I murmured as I tried my best to keep my attention on the road, “And wank yourself off while you’re sucking me.”

He let out a filthy groan that had me almost coming down his throat, “Fuck.” He said, really enjoying saying the word, “You’re a dirty fucker.”

I nodded, “I am.” I agreed as I stroked myself with one hand, keeping the other on the steering wheel, “I want to be able to see you come all over your nice, pristinely white shirt while I’m coming down your throat.”

He nodded, “Brilliant.” He muttered as he shimmied out of his clothes and half-sat in his seat, half-leaning across the centre console again; he had his hand on his cock and his mouth around mine, sucking me lazily as he worked his cock slowly, teasing me and driving me crazy.

I felt myself starting to come and I had to pull over – it just wasn’t safe enough to drive through my orgasm. They were too damned powerful when Cris was teasing me. Thankfully there was a layby that was completely empty.

He hadn’t made himself come yet so I obliged him by sucking him off, too, “And that way, your clothes stay clean,” I whispered before I devoured his mouth with mine.

I could taste my own juices in his mouth and I knew he’d be able to taste himself on mine. Panting a little I finally pulled away from his sweet, sweet mouth, “I’ve missed you.” I admitted.

He smiled up at me, his cheeks pink and his lips swollen from our kissing, “I’ve missed you too.” He said. “Now, let’s get back to mine and you can show me how much.”

I grinned. Tucking my cock back into my boxer shorts, I started the car and waited for Cris to cover up too. He smiled as he got dressed, “Come on, big boy.” He said, “Drive me home.”

With slightly wobbly legs, I put the car into first gear and drove off.

We got to Cristian’s apartment in record time (I may or may not have been speeding a little) and pretty much ran up the front steps of the building that led to the main entrance. We crossed the lobby in a flash and as soon as the lift doors shut, Cris jumped on me and started to kiss me with wild abandon.

I returned his kisses with fervour. I’d never been with anyone who turned me on quite so much. Cristian had absolutely no inhibitions when it came to having sex with me. He was amazing... amazing.

We got to his apartment, which was on the second floor and gave him an amazing view of the city below.

I’d never noticed it before – the blinds had always been pulled across by the time I was arriving at his place. Cristian might not have any inhibitions but he wasn’t about to let the whole city see him being fucked over the sofa... “Oh, wow – that’s some view.” I exclaimed.

He nodded, “Yeah,” he agreed, “It’s pretty cool isn’t it? Shall we light some candles and make out on the sofa – we can do what we like when it gets dark then, you can have me on the rug and still enjoy the view.”

I nodded. That sounded perfect. Being naked, inside him and making love to him on that rug, while we both enjoyed that view? Amazing.

 

 

Chapter 9 – Kurt’s call...

 

Elliot

 

Cristian had left again – as was the way of his job and I’d gone back to work on the slopes. It was the beginning of December and Cris had told me that he would definitely try to be home for Christmas but he couldn’t promise because everyone wanted the time off and the ones with kids got precedence over those who were single. I guessed that was fair enough...

I’d just sent off a group of primary school children from France that were all on a school trip and I was enjoying five minutes to myself – reliving my latest intimate encounter with Cris.

My phone rang, making my heart jump before I saw that it wasn’t Cris calling me. It was in fact, my best friend and confidante, Kurt. Well, I say confidante – but I actually wasn’t about to confide in him about anything. I wasn’t about to accept an ear bashing from him about Cristian and ruining the poor kid’s life, which was what I usually got warned about. Kurt was one of my best friends, at least. My two best friends were twin brothers, Kurt and Kane Swain – I know, they sound like a pair of movie stars don’t they?

A rush of affection flooded me. I hadn’t spoken to him in ages and Kane and George were away together – they’d decided to go on a holiday together to New Zealand before the season really started to get going, “Kurt! Buddy!” I said.

There was a beat of silence – which could have been down to the distance of the call, but I immediately thought it was more likely that there was something wrong – before he spoke, “Hey, Elliot.” He said in a bit of a rush, “I really need your help, mate.”

I listened as he explained in quite a lot of detail – particularly about the way his roommate was touching the guy he was on the sofa with – and the way he’d felt about it...

“Oh, God – I was totally mortified, mate. I mean – you know – I knew he was gay and everything and I really thought I was okay with it... and I’ve never been grossed out by you and all your stories about your guys – but then, you know – I’ve never caught a live show either... Fuck. Maybe that’s it... Do you think that’s it?”

All of this had come out in a matter of seconds and I was still reeling a little at the details, “I have absolutely no idea, mate.” I said, “What happened?”

He groaned loudly, “Oh, God. I freaked out – like totally. I wanted to shit myself and puke all at the same time. I just wanted to floor to fucking open up and swallow me. I had no idea he was there with another guy – I honestly thought something was wrong with him the way he was moaning a groaning... Oh, God it was mortifying mate – mortifying.”

Another guy? Was he aware he’d just said that? Did he subconsciously think that Sebastian was in some way his guy? Hmm, let’s explore that, shall we? “Do you think that you might be, uh, attracted to this Sebastian guy?”

Another beat of silence. Interesting... But then, “No, mate.” He said with absolute conviction. “Sebastian’s a guy.”

I chuckled. Whether he was attracted to this guy or if there was something else that had made him freak out, he seriously wasn’t in the right mood to even consider that he might have feelings for this Sebastian fellow. I wouldn’t have been surprised that Kurt had actually fallen for him – he’d always identified as straight but none of his relationships with girls ever lasted long – and his disastrous attempt at getting something going with my cousin Ellie said an awful lot about him – not that he’d like to be reminded of the fact that she offered herself to him on a plate and he turned her down flat... “Okay – I was just checking, what with Kane suddenly deciding at twenty-one to turn gay – I just thought that you might be a little slower than the rest of us to catch up...” There was another, slightly longer, silence – he was clearly contemplating what I’d said. “Have you talked to him about this?” I asked, “Sebastian that is. Have you told him how it makes you feel to see him with other guys?”

He sighed, “I uh, no... No, I haven’t talked to him about it, because it only just happened like about ten minutes ago. I walked in, saw them at it on the sofa and walked back out again.” He groaned, and I could only imagine how awkward he was feeling about his reaction, “I just freaked out. I probably would have freaked out if he’d been nailing a girl over the sofa, too...”

I didn’t doubt it. When you’d fallen for someone, the idea of them nailing anyone other than you was nothing short of torturous. I’d been living in hell for months...

“So – are you still screwing everything that moves?”

I chuckled, “Actually, I’ve been going through a bit of a dry spell recently.” Or rather, I was saving myself between visits from Cristian, not even bothered by any of the pretty faces that came through the resort anymore...

“Seriously?” he asked, his voice going up an octave with surprise, “Wow – Kane said he and George saw Cristian when they were on their way out at the airport – do you ever see him?”

Fuck. What the hell was I supposed to say about Cristian? He might not want me discussing what we did together with anyone else... “Yeah, I see him from time to time. He’s really cool.”

“Well, Kane and George will be throwing their engagement party at Christmas – we should invite him.”

I cleared my throat. I would love him to spend time with me at the party but then people would notice that he meant the world to me and his secret – if indeed that was what I was. What the fuck did I know? It wasn’t like we ever discussed it – would be out there... “Uh, yeah – he said he might be able to get home this year but not to count on it.” My heart sank even as I said the words...

 

 

Chapter 10 – Falling...

 

Elliot

 

It had been a few months since I’d last seen Cris when he called me to say he was going to be in for a few days and did I want to meet up. Did I want to meet up? Was the grass green? I fucking loved meeting up. Hell, I practically lived for these snatched moments of intimacy with him.

I was waiting at the airport having sneaked away from the bar I worked at during the summer months. It wasn’t the busiest period and Greta, my supervisor had promised to cover for me.

He came through the arrivals. Wow. He hadn’t half blossomed in the six months since I’d last seen him – he’d always been pretty but he was absolutely gorgeous now – and he was full of sass and cheek and I’d kind of already fallen in love with him. Not that I was about to admit that to anyone.

I really shouldn’t have ever started anything with him. I wasn’t good enough for someone like Cris. He deserved so much better than a ski instructor who’d slept with a good half of the guys that wanted to learn how to ski...

And even though I knew it was wrong, I hadn’t even done the decent thing. I should have left it at that first hook-up – but I kept going back for more – and the more I saw of him, the less I wanted to see of anyone else until he was all I thought about.... I’d finally fallen in love – and I didn’t have the faintest idea how to deal with it. I think it would be fair to say that I dealt with it really badly – and had sex with just about anyone that came my way for a while, just trying to forget about him... Unsurprisingly, that didn’t go down particularly well with him when the subject came up...

I heartily wished I’d never broached the subject but once it was out there – it was out there. At least he could never accuse me of keeping things from him. I was absolutely straight-up about sleeping with other guys in his long absences – I’d kind of assumed that he was doing the same – we hadn’t made any sort of commitment to each other, much as I’d like to have done. I just had no idea how to go about asking him to be my boyfriend. I honestly thought the answer would be no and I was insecure enough not to want to be rejected.

I’d considered giving Kurt a call to ask his advice – but I could almost second-guess what he’d say and I didn’t want to hear him tell me to leave the guy alone.

So there I was, waiting for him, as I’d waited for him time and time again, every single visit home I was there, waiting – like a good boyfriend would, only I wasn’t his boyfriend, I was just the sure thing he had going on whenever he needed some downtime...

 

 

Chapter 11 – Camping...

 

Cris

 

The grass beneath my knees wasn’t exactly what you’d call comfortable but I didn’t care about that. All I cared about was the feel of Elliot’s cock driving into me over and over, grazing my prostate and making me see stars. Fuck. He was so good at fucking me.

I was home for a long weekend and of course I’d called ahead of time to let him know I’d be in town. He’d got a great idea that we could make a camping weekend of it with our mountain bikes – and so that’s what we were doing – camping in the mountains, at one with nature – naked as the day we were born and screwing each other’s brains out under the wonderful June sunshine. Perfection...

“Unghhh!” I grunted as I came, spattering the grass with streams of sticky, hot spunk.

“Oh, my God!” Elliot yelled as his own orgasm took over him. I could feel him leaning on me as he pumped himself into me, filling the condom. “You’re so fucking good.” He groaned.

My legs felt like jelly and I just wanted to collapse onto the grass. “You are too.” I murmured, “So fucking good.”

He eased himself out of me and turned away to take care of the condom. Tossing it into the bin liner we had tied to the side of the tent for all of our rubbish he walked back over to me, his semi-hard cock bouncing around as he walked.

I licked my lips. God, I must have had some sort of fixation with penises, I honestly just wanted to suck him back to rock hard and for him to fuck my mouth too.

“Stop that.” He said, grinning at me.

“Stop what?” I asked, smiling at him knowingly. I knew he knew what I wanted and I was all for teasing him into it.

I know what you want but I’m too sensitive right now – give me ten minutes.”

I nodded, “Fine.” I sighed. I got up and pulled my jeans back up, tucking my cock back inside them.

“I love that you’re not wearing underwear.” He murmured, “It makes you so damned accessible.”

I grinned. That was the general idea; when I’d gotten dressed I’d even lubed myself up for him. “Yeah, well. I expected you to want to fuck me by the roadside or something.” I said, “I was all for it.”

He gaped at me, “Seriously?” he asked, “You’d do that?”

I shrugged, “I’ve done a lot of dirty stuff.” I said with a wink, “Want me to tell you sometime?”

He was almost panting and that overly sensitive cock of his was standing up, ramrod straight. I went over to him and took him in my hand. Stroking my hand up and down his shaft I leaned in and kissed him, giving him a load of tongue and then I licked my way down his neck to give his nipples a bit of attention while I worked his cock.

Pre come oozed down his shaft. He was definitely ready for me again. “Want me to suck you?” I whispered, “And make you come again?”

He nodded, “Let’s get in the tent.” He said, “Someone might see.”

I smiled, “Go on then.”

We crawled into the tent. My cock was straining against my jeans, desperate to feel the air again. Well, there was no way I wasn’t going to free myself – if he didn’t want to touch me I’d happily do the job myself.

I pushed him down onto the sleeping bags. “Spread your legs, babe.” I murmured, “And let me suck you.”

He groaned and spread his legs wide, showing me everything he’d got. His balls looked dark and heavy and incredibly inviting. I had to have a suck on them too.

I nuzzled his thigh at the top, just where the crease met his body. His scent was at its strongest there and I couldn’t get enough of it. I absolutely craved it. I took one of his balls into my mouth even before I went for his cock. If he was as sensitive as he said, he’d welcome this instead.

He gasped, “Oh, fuck!” he hissed, “Cris, that is incredible.”

Yes it was. Incredible and sexy and I really wanted to climb up his body and lower myself over his cock, allowing him to sink back inside me again. I just wanted him inside me all of the fucking time. He was totally addictive.

I slurped my way off his balls eventually and took his cock back in my mouth. The taste of him was intoxicating. I wanted to taste his come again. I was pretty damned addicted to that too. I sucked him deeply to the back of my throat, paying attention to the underside of his shaft with my tongue and eliciting a variety of moans and groans and gasps from him as he held my head in place, grabbing handfuls of my hair and twisting it in his fingers.

His cock was getting harder and thicker and fuller and I knew he was going to come any second. I was working my own cock furiously, desperate for us both to come again. I wanted us to come all fucking weekend, over and over until we were fucking exhausted. This weekend was going to go down in history as the most sexed up weekend of his fucking life. He would never be able to compare another guy favourably against me. I was going to be his best fuck ever.

“Holy fucking shit!” he half-groaned, half-shouted, “You’re so fucking good.”

I swallowed everything he gave me as I spilled my load all over the sleeping bag. “We need tissues,” I gasped as I flopped onto my back. “And sleep.”

Elliot chuckled, “Yeah,” he agreed, “We do.”

He pulled a wad of tissues out of his bag and handed them to me. I cleaned myself up and wiped up the mess off the sleeping bag, “It’ll be dry soon.” I said as I rolled up the tissue and put it into the rubbish bag. “Let’s have a nap and we can do it again in a bit.”

Elliot stroked my face, “You don’t have to kill yourself to give me a good time, baby.” He said, “Being here with you is fantastic enough without the sex.”

I pulled a face, “yeah, right.” I huffed a laugh. Like there was any chance he’d be here for anything else.

 

 

Chapter 12 – Wanting...

 

Elliot

 

Cris seemed to think I was only interested in him for sex but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not saying I didn’t love the sex – of course I did – I was a guy. But I also just loved being with him – hearing all of his funny stories about his work and what he got up to when he had a stay over in a foreign land – not a whole lot to be fair but it didn’t matter. I loved his voice. I loved it when that adorable soft lisp made an appearance when he got excited about what he was talking about. He was wonderful to be around and I never wanted him to go when he came home.

It would be fair to say that I was head-over-heels about him. I just didn’t really know what to do about it.

“What shall we eat for dinner?” I asked.

Cris looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow, “I thought I’d just had mine.” He said, eyeing my cock and then looking back up at me again.

I chuckled, “There’s not enough calories in that to keep you going – even with your appetite for it.”

He chuckled, “What did you bring?”

I frowned. I couldn’t actually remember. I’d been too damned excited about having him all to myself in a sweaty tent if I was honest. Food wasn’t high on my list of priorities. Condoms on the other hand – I had those in abundance...

I finally found us a couple of homemade pasties and scotch eggs that I’d snaffled from Mrs Swain. She hadn’t asked why I wanted them in twos and I wasn’t about to tell her either.

Cris groaned with satisfaction as he took his first bite, “That is amazing – I was fucking starving!”

I laughed, “I think we should head back tomorrow morning – if only to get some decent food inside you.”

He smiled and licked his lips to get the crumbs off them from his pasty, “The only thing I want inside me when I’ve finished this – is you.”

Oh, my God. He was the perfect guy. He loved sex every bit as much as I did – and he seemed to understand what I needed without me ever having to tell him.

I loved the way he sucked my cock, I loved the way he rode me and I loved it when I was in the driving seat too and he allowed me to make love to him. Not that either of us ever referred to it that way – but it was the way I thought about it.

It had long ago changed from hooking up with Cris for me.

Making love with Cris was fulfilling and wonderful and I wanted more of it every time I saw him. My feelings were confusing – and overwhelming a lot of the time. I had no idea what I was supposed to do about it and I guess I dealt with it badly. Instead of confronting my feelings honestly to myself, I shied away from them. Deep down I knew what was happening. I was falling in love with him but I didn’t know how to handle that, so instead I ignored my feelings and continued to have the odd hook-up with other guys while Cris was away. It wasn’t cheating because we hadn’t ever made a commitment to each other – but it sure felt like it. Having sex with guys other than Cris had totally lost the appeal it once had – in fact it would be fair to say that it did nothing for me these days – even when the guys were drop-dead gorgeous and had big dicks. They were just guys who wanted a good fuck and it felt cheap and meaningless. When I tried to tell Cris the way I felt, though, it kind of went all wrong...

 

 

Chapter 13 – Elliot’s threesome

 

Cris

 

“Unggghh!” Elliot half-shouted, half-groaned as I slammed down onto his cock, feeling his hardness right inside me, “Oh, my God!”

Yeah. He loved every second of it, just like I did... “No, it’s just me.” I grinned down at him. I fucking loved fucking his brains out like this and it was fair to say that I was the driving force of whatever this was that we had going on between us. I desperately wanted it to be more than just two guys who hooked up on a very regular basis – but sadly, that was exactly what it was and I couldn’t really see any way out of it unless Elliot wanted to make it more.

“And you are, as ever, incredible.” He murmured, stroking his hands up my thighs. His, now softening, cock still inside me.

“I need to get rid of the condom.” I said as I eased myself off him and removed the condom as I did so.

He nodded, “Sure – can you bring some tissue?”

I nodded and headed for the bathroom. I came back, my cock was still rock hard and desperate for a little attention. Attention I knew he’d happily give to me.

Come here.” He smiled.

I straddled his chest and eased my cock into his waiting mouth.

The hot wetness of his mouth enveloped me as his hands cupped my backside, his fingers probing and stroking my hole. Oh, man. This really was what it was all about. No one else came close to making me feel this way.

Shane, my best friend at work had tried his best to tell me that I was playing a dangerous game with Elliot but I didn’t think I was really. He was a horny guy. He liked sex and he had a healthy appetite for it. As much as I didn’t like to think this was all it would ever be between us, it made sense for us not to commit to each other more than we were – he wasn’t cheating on me this way – we were just fuck-buddies.

“I need to tell you something.” He blurted out.

I opened one eye and squinted up at him. He sounded pretty serious all of a sudden, “Okay.”

He ran his hand through his hair and looked at me nervously, “I uh, I had a threesome last week.” He said.

I’d just come down his throat and had just been lying on my back, with my eyes shut, blissed out and feeling really good about everything.

How the fuck was I supposed to respond to that? “Really?” I asked, feeling the euphoria of my orgasm disappearing in an instant, “And uh, how did that go for you?” Well, I might as well know as not...

He huffed a sigh, “Well, I had my cock in one guy’s arse and I was fucking him for all I was worth, while he was sucking his boyfriend off and I was snogging his boyfriend,” he paused, “I guess it was kind of fun but...”

But what? “What?” I asked, “Wasn’t he any good at kissing? Was there something wrong with their personal hygiene? What?” I was aware that I was beginning to sound like a harpy but I really couldn’t help it. He brought this up now? Just after he’d shot his load? Seriously? Did he have no shame?

He shook his head, “It was fine – they were both clean guys but... it just felt kind of cheap and dirty.”

My jaw dropped. Elliot had always loved cheap and dirty sex. Loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it, in fact. He’d fucked more guys than I could count and he’d had sex with lots of guys all at the same time at sex parties. He’d blown two guys at once at a party before while someone else had fucked him from behind. He really had done it all...

Not that I was some sort of innocent that hadn’t done anything. I’d given the threesome thing a go before but I really didn’t like it. It had felt like I was being used and abused – I guess I didn’t have to be the one in the middle but hell, I thought I might as well see what it was like. It really hadn’t been my scene. Foursomes were, in my opinion, a much better option. I’d done that a few times, before I’d gotten together with Elliot – I’d done it with Shane and a couple of guys that we’d picked up together. Shane and I would start off together and then we’d swap and swap back again. We could fuck each other all night but it didn’t mean anything to either of us.

With Elliot, even though I’d tried my best not to let it happen, it meant something and I’d told Shane that I really couldn’t do the whole casual fucking thing with him anymore.

He’d not really been bothered but he had been worried about me, “So you’re not fucking anyone else anymore, but he is?”

I nodded miserably. I didn’t know but I’d assumed that he wouldn’t have stopped and now I knew it – and it was a crushing blow. “I know what you’re going to say.”

Shane shook his head and squeezed my shoulder, “Just tell him you’ve fallen in love with him and ask him if he could see himself being your boyfriend – it really is that easy, babe.”

But was it that easy? I didn’t think so...

I really didn’t know what else to say about the threesome. I was horribly jealous but I had no room to complain. We hadn’t made any sort of commitment to each other to be exclusive – something I was now heartily wishing I had insisted on. I really didn’t like to think of him doing this with anyone else.

I made an excuse about needing the bathroom and went to get a little solitude for five minutes to compose myself. I would not cry about this. I wouldn’t.

I locked the bathroom door and looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked like I’d just been thoroughly loved – and I had. His kisses were full of promises – promises he probably never intended to keep. I was delusional. We were nothing but fuck-buddies and the sooner I realised that, the better things would be. Living in constant hope for things to progress between us was stressful and if I didn’t get a grip soon, it was going to give me an ulcer...

I washed my face, gave myself a stern talking to and went back to crawl into bed with him and snuggle up into my spot – right by his side. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but if I ignored my jealousy and pushed all thoughts if him having sex with other guys to be back of my mind, locked in a box that I never intended to open, I could fool myself into thinking everything was perfect. Yes I was being a coward not voicing my feelings but right now I just couldn’t do it without falling apart – and so things continued on as they had before...

 

 

Chapter 14 – The dream...

 

Elliot

 

I thought if I told Cris about the threesome I’d get some sort of reaction. Something to let me know that he wanted things to get more serious between us – but he didn’t even bat an eyelid. He just wanted to know what it had been like. Well, that was it then. Any sort of future with him was now well and truly doomed. He really didn’t see me as relationship material – and how could I expect him to when I told him about taking part in threesomes for chrissakes?

We’d been casually fucking for the best part of two years. I wanted more. I wanted him to be mine but seriously – he couldn’t possibly want the same thing – or surely he’d have said something by now? I ignored the little voice in the back of my mind that reminded me cruelly that if I wasn’t such a fucking coward that I could have asked him.

I would have asked but I managed to bottle it every time he left me; I’d psyche myself up to ask him to be my boyfriend but then all I’d be able to think about were all of the more suitable types of men that he should be with. The ones that didn’t take part in threesomes or who would sleep with anything that moved just because they could. He was going places – I wasn’t...

I knew things couldn’t continue as they were doing and I was right – because the last time we met up was the last time I saw him and I never thought we’d ever see each other again.

I couldn’t blame him. I’d been acting like a total dick for months and he’d obviously gotten sick of things. He’d probably met someone else. I couldn’t deny I was pretty damned devastated but what had I really expected? That he’d want to settle down with me? That he’d really be satisfied with what I had to offer? Please... Even I knew I wasn’t what he needed.

 

*

 

I stepped out of the shower and reached for my towel. I could hear murmured voices from the lounge. I frowned. Who was out there?

I opened the door and peeked out. My jaw dropped when I saw Cristian kissing a big guy who was stood without a shirt on and his cock straining against the tight jeans he was wearing, while his friend, who had already pushed his jeans and boxer shorts down to his knees was feeling him up from behind and rubbing his massive, hard cock between his naked arse cheeks. What the fuck was going on? Cristian was mine... this couldn’t be happening.

I yelled at the guys to stop but they just carried on, one of them kissing him really dirty while the other one carried on rutting away at my boyfriend’s backside, while he moaned and groaned, working his own cock with his hand furiously and sucking on the other guy’s tongue. The guy was getting really turned on and started to undo his own pants, freeing his equally enormous cock from his jeans...

No fucking way, I thought, even though the erotic show was making my own dick harden as I imagined what that thick, hard cock would feel like in my mouth and my hole.

“Cris?” I called, “Cris, what are you doing?”

He turned to me, his eyes unfocused and looking totally blissed out for being seen to by two massive hunky guys at the same time, “I’m fucking these two guys, Elliot.” He said, “They’re twins – Kurt and Kane – we do it a lot when you’re not around to spoil things...”

Oh, my God! I woke up with my heart hammering inside my ribcage. Thank God I woke up at that moment. The idea of either Kurt or Kane getting their end away with my boyfriend was horrifying. I blinked in the darkness.

Cris turned over in his sleep, mumbling something under his breath and letting out a contented little sigh. God he was beautiful.

I stroked his arm and, realising it felt cold in the chilly night air, I snuggled a little closer to him and pulled the quilt up so that he was covered. It took me a while to get back to sleep. That dream had disturbed me – not because it was Kane and Kurt – that was just my mind playing tricks on me for mentioning the threesome I’d had with those two guys that I’d told Cris about earlier and jumbling things up – I was pretty certain I’d never harboured any secret desires to have a threesome with my two best friends – no, what had disturbed me was the way I was beginning to think of Cris. He wasn’t my boyfriend. We’d never actually established what we were to each other. I just knew that my feelings for him were becoming much more than that of a guy who wanted a hook-up every now and then. I wanted more. I wanted Cris to be mine. I just had no clue if he felt the same and I was terrified to ask the question – what if I got the wrong answer...?

 

 

Chapter 15 – Back again...

 

Six months later...

 

Cristian

 

I remember the first time that Elliot actually noticed that I was no longer a kid and it was the best day of my life.

Following that day, however, things went downhill a little. I expected us to get to know one another again, date for a while and eventually start a relationship. One based on trust and love and support for each other.

Sadly, it never really got past the dating bit – and it wasn’t even dating. It was just sex – almost always in my apartment and always in secret – and after two years of it, living in constant hope that the next time I saw him, he’d have seen the light – that we were meant for each other – I’d finally given up. It was never going to happen.

Almost two years had gone by since that first time we’d gotten together and now I was going home again. Only this time I was going to make damned sure that I stayed away from Elliot Galbraith. This year I was going to spend a little time by myself to re-evaluate my life and I was going to visit my parents and my brother, his wife and their new baby over in Turin, too.

I felt old and washed up and I was only twenty-one...

It was Christmas and I was going to be at home for two weeks. Two weeks that I’d had to fight to get off because the airline was actually pretty busy over the holidays and just like me, everyone else wanted to see their families too.

I’d done the last three years though and I’d booked my days off months in advance – I’ll grant you I had thought Elliot and I would be an item by now and that was the reason I’d insisted that I got the two weeks off – I honestly thought I’d be spending Christmas with him...

Shane, my best friend and regular flight attendant that I was working with, was pissed off that we wouldn’t be hitting the clubs together in New York. “Oh, man?” he grumbled, “I can’t believe you’re not gonna be my wing man!”

I chuckled, “I’ve got friends and family to see.” I said, thinking of one particular friend that I’d been missing even more than my family if I was going to be completely honest, “It’s only two weeks, mate – I’ll be back.”

Shane had pulled a face, “But you’re looking so damned hot now with your tattoos and all those incredible muscles – you might be back after two weeks but the chances of you still being single...”

I rolled my eyes, “Believe me,” I said dolefully, “I’ll still be single.” Elliot was a lot of things – gorgeous, attentive and very friendly – but ask him to commit to one person? Not a fucking chance...

 

*

 

I got home and parked my wheel-on by the front door of my apartment.

Everything looked exactly the way I’d left it a couple of months back when I was last here...

It may have been a flying visit – pardon the pun – but it had also been a turning point in my life.

Elliot had come over and we’d gotten very friendly; far too friendly – just as we always did – and had done on far too many occasions. I’d gotten far too attached to him even though I knew it was completely futile. Elliot was everything I’d ever wanted but he wasn’t one for settling down and I’d tried my best to keep my heart out of the equation, with little success.

I’d been dying to call him – and to see him ever since I’d left him in my bed that morning with a flirty kiss and a promise that I’d call him. I never had because I knew I’d crack and tell him how I really felt about him if I did...

I bit my lip. Should I have called? Would it have made any difference at all? Would he actually want to see me again after I’d left it this long to contact him? I mean, it had all been about sex and sure, the sex had been amazing – but he had great sex with loads of guys all of the time. Elliot didn’t get emotionally involved and that was the way he was able to shag guys by the dozen. Something I really should have born in mind when I was one of those guys. I was such an idiot...

I really wasn’t like that. I hadn’t slept with anyone at all since I’d got involved with him. I’d spent the best part of the past two years enduring stolen moments with Elliot – moments that meant everything to me – and probably nothing to him. He’d have been sleeping with other guys left, right and centre ever since I left.

I was such a romantic fool. A fool in love – with Elliot Galbraith...

 

 

Chapter 16 – Nothing wrong...

 

Elliot

 

It had been six months of pure torture not hearing from Cristian. And I know I could have called or texted him but I’d gotten the feeling that his “I’ll call you,” was a brush off and I’d been right – he hadn’t called or texted and it had felt like years. We usually called or texted pretty much every day – just a smiley face or a few words but I looked forward to those messages and calls. They really did make my day.

It was coming up for Christmas though and he never usually missed being back for the festivities. I needed to tell him how I really felt. I had to. He was everything to me.

But would he listen? Would he even believe me? Was there any chance at all that he would feel the same way? Hell, he was three and a half years younger than me. He was a jetsetter – quite literally... and I was a twenty-five year old skiing and snowboarding instructor. I was hardly what you could call washed-up but I suddenly felt old. Cristian was only twenty-one. He was beautiful, successful and exceedingly desirable. He was the type to be snapped up by some celebrity one of these days and he’d go willingly, never looking back – why would he? I was nothing special...

I sighed and looked at the clock. He’d be landing any minute. Oh, God. How pathetic was I that I even kept tabs on his comings and goings?

My heart started to beat a little faster at the thought that he might actually want to meet up. Did I dare send a text asking to see him?

He’d assume it was casual. I could do casual... Actually I really couldn’t – not anymore. Fuck. I was so screwed.

I sent the text, “I’ll meet you at the airport if you’re on your way today?”

I waited... and waited... Finally one pinged back, “Sure, see you there at 3pm.”

My heart was in my mouth. He was really coming in! Thank God.

I watched him as he swept through the arrivals lounge and walked right up to me. He leaned in for an air kiss like there was nothing wrong between us. Maybe there wasn’t as far as he was concerned. Maybe I’d imagined everything. Ohhh, fuck. I really wished sometimes that I could read minds...

“So, are we uh, heading to yours?” I asked.

He nodded and flashed a grin, “Sure.” He said, “Anything.”

Yep. Something was definitely wrong. Fuck. I’d screwed up. How the fuck did I fix this? Sex wasn’t the answer... or was it?

 

 

Chapter 17 – Perfect fit...

 

Cristian

 

“Oh, my God!” Elliot yelled, as he came all over his chest. I was just about getting my breath back – not to mention my sight. My orgasm had been so powerful I’d been rendered temporarily blind as everything went black. “Cris, you are a fucking god!” he panted.

We were at my flat again – and I’d just had the absolute mind-blowing pleasure of fucking his brains out on my bed.

I chuckled, “No, I’m not.” I said as I eased myself out of him, “I’m just little old Cris...” the guy you refuse to accept has become a potential life partner...

Hell, everyone else seemed to be moving on with their lives. Kane and George had gotten together last year and Elliot had confided in me that he thought Kurt had met a guy that he liked as more than a friend.

I needed Elliot to see that I could be his boyfriend instead of this soul-destroying fuck-buddy thing we had going on because it was changing what we’d got from something light and fun, to something ugly and depressing. I wanted more than he was capable of giving and it was making me feel resentful. I felt that I was the one giving all of the time and he was taking and it was really beginning to piss me off. I’d sneaked around for long enough. I wanted to go out and be proud of the man I loved, instead we’d been hiding in my apartment, having great sex – sure – but nothing else. There was no love, no commitment and no trust between us – he had no idea I was fully committed to him and he was still sleeping with guys left, right and centre – because he had no idea that I wanted more. I had to either tell him that I loved him – or I was going to have to end this thing.

I came back from the bathroom. I was going to say something but he was looking at me in such a sexy way, I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Come here.” He said softly, “I want to kiss you until we’re both rock hard again and then I want to make you come as hard as I just have.”

I smiled, all my resolve to end things evaporating from my mind at his sexy smile, “Sounds like a plan.” I murmured as I slipped back under the quilt and clamped myself to his side. I still fit there just perfectly. I would sleep there all night, every night given the chance.

 

 

Chapter 18 – The L word...

 

Elliot

 

“Oh, my God!” I gasped, my legs trembling as Cris sucked me through the best orgasm I’d had in six months. His fingers caressing my hole, making me forget what my name was. “Oh, Cris,” I sighed, “I love you...” Shit. Had I said that out loud? Fuck. I really had. “Uh, that is, I uh, I love having sex with you.”

He pulled off my softening cock with a little ‘pop’ and smiled, “Yeah, I love having sex with you too.” He said, “It’s fun.”

Fun? Was that really all I was? My heart sank. I was sick of being his bit of fun. Did he really not feel anything more for me than that? Should I ask him if he’d heard what I’d said? Should I not? Fuck, this falling in love business really wasn’t for the fainthearted – no wonder I’d avoided it for so long – it was wrecking me.

Deciding that it would be better to let it go, I just kissed him instead.

He threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed me as if he really did feel what I was feeling for him too. His kiss was full of promise, of everlasting love – and more passion than you could cram into an epic romantic novel. Fuck, I was losing it big time – I didn’t even read romantic novels...

I pulled away slightly, “Wow,” I murmured, “That was some kiss.”

He looked back at me, his eyes were bright but I couldn’t read the expression on his face. He looked guarded somehow, “Yeah,” he finally agreed, “It was.”

Cris got up and went to the bathroom. His face was pink and his eyes looked watery. Something was wrong. It was because I’d said the L word, I was absolutely sure of it.

Panicking slightly I wondered what the fuck I should do. I should go, probably – give him some time to get used to the idea that I might be in love with. He’d probably need to think about it before making any sort of judgement on the way he might feel about me. Surely he must like me? Hell, we’d been having sex every couple of months for a long time now.

 

 

Cristian

 

There was no fucking way I was going to acknowledge what he’d just said about loving me. It was a slip of the tongue... Or did he really mean it? The little hopeful voice at the back of my mind piped up. Has he been missing you as much as you’ve been missing him? Ask him, why don’t you?

But I couldn’t ask him. I couldn’t. Panic swept through me that I was once again getting myself into a situation that was going to land me right back into being nothing more than his booty call. No more. No way. He was either going to commit to me or he wasn’t. I wasn’t going to put up with this shit any longer.

Before I could tell him that I wanted him to either commit to being my boyfriend or this thing was over, he pulled me into the most heart-stopping kiss.

I kissed him back, trying to tell him with my kiss that I loved him too and that I wanted him forever. I wasn’t sure if I actually conveyed that to him but he looked pretty dazed at the end of it.

I got up, feeling suddenly very emotional. I needed to get away from him before I started to lose it in front of him. I would not let him see me cry over him.

I re-composed myself and headed back out to the bedroom.

Elliot had started to pull his clothes on, “I should go.” He said, “I’ve uh, got to help the Swain’s out with the preparations for the New Year celebrations.”

I blinked. Seriously? Kane and Kurt and their respective partners weren’t enough hands on deck? Do me a favour... “Oh, right.” So, he wasn’t staying over? How fucking disappointing? Tell him. Tell him! NOW! Before it’s too late and gets lost in translation... “I guess I’ll see you there at New Years, then.” I said lamely. It was a tradition that I’d been happy to be part of for the last two years. The first year – the one when we’d been reunited after years of being apart, I’d kissed him at midnight. The second year I’d kissed him at midnight and had spent the night with him in one of the cabins – that had been an absolutely wonderful night and I’d been convinced that he was going to ask me to be his boyfriend but nothing had ever come of it again and we’d carried on as before. Maybe this time, this year – would be my third time lucky? And maybe not...

He nodded, “Yeah, that’d be good.”

Damned right it would. I’d hire a fucking cabin again and make sure he stayed over with me. I wasn’t spending another Christmas without him as my boyfriend...

After he got dressed I followed him down to the door. It felt so much more like ‘just sex’ letting him out only ten minutes after we’d finished enjoying each other’s bodies and I felt, for the first time ever, like a slut – and that included the time I was part of a threesome. It wasn’t just the fact that he was leaving after sex – it went deeper than that – he’d never once thought to take me out on a ‘date’. All we’d ever done was sneak around and have sex at my place. I’d never even been to his place. And I’ll bet neither Kane or Kurt knew anything about us.

By the time he’d got the door open I was fuming silently. Should I bring up the way I was feeling? Probably not with the way I was feeling right now.

He turned to me and smiled, “I had a great time.”

Don’t say anything, the little voice in my head that might have been my voice of reason but sounded more like a defeatist piped up. I shrugged, ignoring the voice, I said, “You always do.” My voice dripped with sarcasm, surprising me with the way I sounded, “Wish I could say the same.” Holy fuck! What did you say that for?

His jaw dropped, “Didn’t you?”

Fuck. Of course I’d had a good time. He was amazing and I loved every second of my time with him. I just wanted so much more time with him and he just wasn’t willing to give it. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing... “Not especially. The sex was great but you just seem to leave me feeling empty just recently... I’m sick of sneaking around. I’m just your dirty little secret, aren’t I? Have you even told Kane and Kurt about us?”

He blinked, “Uh...”

Well, that would be a no, then. Great. I shook my head, “Yeah, that was what I thought – I’m good for a roll in the sack as long as it’s my bed that’s getting messed up and not your own – and as long as no one else knows that your fucking little Cristian, the cute kid with the lisp, on a more or less regular basis. What? Are you worried your street cred will go down or something? Or are you scared that you actually like me more than you thought you ever would and you think you might end up with me instead of some hunk who’s hung like a fucking mule and throws you around the bedroom?”

He stared at me with his mouth open, “Where’s all this coming from?” he asked, looking completely bewildered.

I closed my eyes in a feeble attempt to stop the tears from flowing. To no avail – two fat tears dripped down my face anyway. Fuck. I really hadn’t wanted to cry in front of him but to hell with that – this needed saying. If he never wanted to see me again after I’d said it – at least I’d had the balls to be honest with him. “You’ve never once asked me on a date. Two fucking years, Elliot – and not even a trip to the fucking cinema.” I was beginning to sound hysterical.

He put both hands on his head, looking totally stressed out, “But I thought...”

“What?” I shrieked, “What did you think? That I like to be used? That I want the man I love to fuck everyone else while I’m working and then nail me whenever I come home and immediately leave as soon as his ball sack’s been emptied? You think I’m that guy? That that’s all I’m worth?” I paused for breath, “Just fuck off, Elliot – I’m tired of this shit.”

I couldn’t take anymore. Elliot was the man I was in love with and all I wanted was for us to be together like a proper couple. Why didn’t he want me that way? What was wrong with me? I stepped back and shut the door in his very surprised face, then I dragged myself back to my bed, climbed in and cried myself to sleep.

 

*

 

My phone bleeped. Hope bloomed in my heart that it was Elliot asking to come back. But no, don’t be stupid, Cristian – you told him to fuck off. I fumbled for my phone anyway and read the screen. It wasn’t Elliot. It was Gilly, one of the other regular flight attendants I worked with. She was asking me to swap a shift with her. Well, why not? There was nothing keeping me here, now, was there?

I sent her a quick text back telling her I’d show up tomorrow and take her flight. I’d make it back here for New Year, but suddenly spending the Christmas break somewhere warm and sunny – and completely alone – seemed like the best idea in the world.

 

 

Chapter 19 – Determined...

 

Elliot

 

Work was dragging. All I could think about was Cristian telling me to do one. And I’d totally deserved it too. How could I have not realised that he’d like to be taken out and shown off – how many times had I wanted to do just that – but instead, I had assumed that he wanted to keep things schtum for fear of being embarrassed to be dating me? Why the fuck hadn’t I ever discussed it with him?

Kane’s words came back to me from a couple of weeks previously, when we were, rarely, all together in the same place. “Tell him,” he’d warned me, “Tell him how you feel about him – what’s the worst that can happen?”

Well, the worst had happened – because I hadn’t told him. Only he hadn’t laughed in my face and told me that he wasn’t interested. He’d broken down in tears and told me that he’d wanted a relationship with me but I’d let him down – and I had let him down – so very badly...

The day dragged. I knew Cris was probably sitting at home feeling the same way I did – or at least I hoped that was where he was. I had to set things right. I couldn’t live without him in my life. I never really had liked being apart from him – even when we were kids I’d never liked it when he had to go home early because he was only young. I’d always loved having him around and it was a bit of a wrench when we turned eighteen and started going out without him. His humour and his cheek had always been like a breath of fresh air and I’d loved it when he was with us.

I was all ready to leave bang on my finishing time and I made my way to his apartment through the rush hour traffic as fast as I could. I was fine on my side of town, where I knew all of the short cuts, but he lived quite a way out and I had to stick to the main routes – slowing me up quite a bit.

All I wanted to do was to beg him to forgive me for being such an inconsiderate twat – and to beg him to give me a second chance. I knew I didn’t deserve one but I was determined to make him understand that I really hadn’t meant to treat him badly. But fuck, I’d been a total moron. I’d treated him so badly – like a one-night-stand – time and time again...

I finally made it and I ran to the main entrance of the apartment block. I’d gone over in my head what he’d said again and again and he’d been right. I never had thought to ask him to go for dinner with me – hell, I hadn’t even taken him for a coffee. I was such a crap prospect. What the fuck had he ever seen in me?

Well, he probably didn’t see anything anymore. That ship had sailed – along with his patience in me – but I had to try.

Leaving had been a big mistake and I wanted to apologise for running out on him, too – and if my nerves would take it, after being told quite succinctly to fuck right off, I was going to ask him to be more than friends with benefits – but only if he wanted to, of course. I was going to make damned sure I took his feelings into consideration before anything else from now on...

I rang the buzzer and waited. No answer. I frowned and buzzed him again. Nothing. What the fuck?

I fished my phone out of my pocket and sent off a text, “Where are you?”

His reply was pretty much instant, “Tenerife.”

“Tenerife?” I squawked to no one in particular. I sent another text off, “But I thought you were back for the holidays?”

His reply was fast, short and to the point, “I needed some time alone. Gilly needed to be home. It made sense – and besides, there was nothing to keep me there.”

My heart stuttered. Nothing to keep him here? Yes, there was – me. But he clearly didn’t want to be near me. He needed time away from me. My fingers hovered over the keys as I battled with myself for how to put what I felt. Text messages could be taken wrongly and I really needed for him to know that I was serious about him. “We really need to talk.”

He didn’t reply for a while but when he finally did I didn’t feel any more hopeful than if he’d ignored me altogether, “I’ll see you at New Year. We can talk then.”

 

 

Chapter 20 – Moment of Truth...

 

Cristian

 

I checked my watch for about the millionth time. It wasn’t a long flight – three and a half hours – but it seemed to be lasting forever today. Oh, phew, ten minutes and we’d be down and I could go home, get changed and head out to see Elliot – to ‘talk’. A strange sensation went through my whole body – sort of a combination of dread and hope, all rolled into one massively uneasy feeling.

“Excuse me?” a nasally, bitchy voice to my right piped up – again.

I turned my head, giving myself an internal pep talk to smile through gritted teeth and take whatever crap this old bastard was going to give me this time. She’d been on it from the moment she stepped aboard, “Yes, Madam?”

“This coffee isn’t up to standard,” she spat, “I want a refund.”

I sighed but kept my smile on my face, “Of course, Madam.” I said, “I shall do that for you now.” I took the cup – which she’d managed to finish – and marched up the plane to the small area where we kept the trolleys. “Old bitch,” I muttered to Barry. Barry was the oldest attendant of our crew at fifty-seven.

He grinned at me, “Which one?” he asked, “They’re all repulsive old bastards today.”

I chuckled, “Row eighteen – seat B.”

He nodded, “Ah, yes. I know the one – pink cardigan?”

I nodded. I wanted to rip the pink cardigan over her head and tie it around the back – that might keep her quiet for the rest of the journey...

He grinned, “She’s complained about everything. Not enough legroom, no reclining seats. Does she even know it’s a budget airline? Stupid old crow – I reckon she’s after a claim against the airline.”

I smiled and nodded, “Well, I’m refunding her coffee.” I said, “That’ll go in our favour.”

He nodded, “Good call.”

By the time I’d given her the refund it was time to take our seats for landing. I strapped myself in and waited for touchdown.

My stomach felt a little nervous – not because of the old bitch or the less-than-smooth landing – no, I was nervous because I wanted to tell Elliot the way I felt about him. It was time. I wasn’t prepared to waste any more time...

 

*

 

After showering and changing into my best shirt – a dark blue, tight-fitting number than went beautifully with my dark skinny jeans, I styled my hair and then applied a little eye-liner and lip-gloss. I was out to impress and I knew he liked it when I wore make-up.

Mum and Dad had bought me a brand new pair of Dr Marten boots for Christmas and I’d put them on too. I looked fucking awesome. He’d have to be blind or dead not to notice how awesome I looked.

I made my way down the stairs on slightly wobbly legs. I’d ordered myself my regular taxi driver and he’d just texted to say he was outside.

“Bonsoir, Charles.” I said as I opened the door and slammed the door shut behind me.”

He grinned at me in the rear view mirror and asked me how I was.

I chatted to him in French all the way to the Swain’s B&B and paid him, tipping him generously for having to work on New Year’s Eve.

I got out of the taxi and took a deep breath, “Here goes nothing.” I muttered under my breath. God I hoped this was it – the magical moment when everything just clicked and Elliot declared his undying love for me...

 

 

Elliot

 

I couldn’t keep still. I was so fucking nervous I’d folded the napkins about three times each – to the point that Mrs Swain was beginning to wonder just what the fuck was the matter with me.

She cornered me, “Spill, young man – what’s going on?”

I blinked. Fuck. She’d never come over all ‘Mum’ with me before... “Nothing.” I squeaked. I wasn’t used to parents – having pretty useless ‘hands off’ parents of my own. They’d pretty much given up on me when I came out as gay and I rarely saw them anymore. Never if I could help it...

“Rubbish,” she scoffed, “You’ve been out of sorts all day – have you fallen out with one of the boys?”

I shook my head. If only it was that simple, “No.” I said firmly, “Me and the boys are just fine.” Please don’t ask anything else...

No such luck. She grinned, “Then it has to be someone special – who’s the lucky guy?”

I snorted, “I’m not sure you’d call him lucky...”

She raised an eyebrow, “It’s Cristian, isn’t it?” she asked.

My jaw almost hit the floor, “How did you know?” What the hell was it with these Swains? They all knew what was bothering me, without me telling any of them!

She smiled, “Oh, honey,” she said, “It’s obvious to anyone – the two of you together are like magic – always have been. Just be honest, sweetheart. Tell him you love him and the rest will sort itself out – I promise.”

I nodded, unable to speak for the lump that had appeared in my throat from nowhere. For some reason, that made perfect sense and I trusted her. It was as easy as falling off a log this falling in love business – telling the person you loved that it had happened wasn’t quite so easy though... This was going to take some serious balls...

I didn’t have to wait long before the man of my dreams – and the cause of my current bout of nerves that was threatening to have me running for the bathroom – turned up.

He came through the door and his eyes scanned the room before settling on me. He set off towards me purposefully, “You said we needed to talk.” He said, his lisp coming out strongly, making me realise that he wasn’t quite so in control of his emotions as he’d like me to believe.

I nodded, “We do,” I said, my voice wobbling a little, “there’s something I need to say.”

He nodded, biting his lip. He reached for my hands and pulled me towards him, “I have to say something too.” He said firmly, “may I go first?”

My heart sank. Oh, God. He was going to tell me that he never wanted to see me again. I just knew it. I’d blown it...

I nodded, misery beginning to swamp me. God, talk about your New Year blues... “Sure,” I mumbled, “Go ahead.”

He pulled me to the side of the room where there was no one to overhear our conversation. I was quite glad of that – at least I’d be able to escape the room with my pride intact. Well, sort of... He looked up at me, his beautiful eyes full of pain. He cleared his throat, “We’ve been seeing each other – albeit on and off – for pretty much two years.”

I nodded. I knew that. I’d been there too... “Yeah,” I agreed, “I know.”

He nodded, “And I uh, I’ve had a good time – with you... despite what I said the other day.” His lisp was so strong. This really was taking some guts.

I bit my lip. My eyes were getting hot and I was going to have to run for the gents in a minute before I sobbed in front of him for being such a dick that I’d lost the most important thing in my life.

“And the thing is... I don’t want to be fuck-buddies or friends-with-benefits anymore.”

I hung my head. It was over...

“I want more than that, Elliot. I’m not sure where you saw this going – if anywhere – but I can’t do it anymore.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “You see, for me it’s become more than just two guys hooking up. I-I’ve fallen in love with you – I’ll understand if you don’t f-feel the same way b-but I couldn’t just stop it without telling you the way I f-felt – and if there was any ch-chance that you felt the same way...”

I gaped at him; my heart was thumping away in my chest with such love and hope. “Are you serious?” I asked faintly, “You want more... with me?”

He nodded. His eyes, beautifully made up with black eyeliner and mascara made him look utterly beautiful – and yet, still pretty damned terrified.

“Oh, God!” I grabbed him and pulled him into me, “I love you, Cristian.” I said, “I really, honestly, truly love you. I was waiting to ask you if you’d ever consider being more with me. Oh, baby, will you be my boyfriend? Please say you will.”

His eyes filled with tears and he nodded, “Yes.” He lisped adorably, “I will.”

I couldn’t actually believe my luck but I wasn’t about to question it. That had been pretty compelling evidence that he was as into me as I was him and I really couldn’t wait to get him naked to celebrate our love for each other. I drew him into me and kissed his beautifully glossy lips, “And I promise to take you on as many dates as you like from now on – I’m going to show the world that you’re mine – because I can. I’m not your dirty little secret anymore.”

We had to mingle for a while before we could do that, though. Still... It didn’t hurt to make sure if he had a room or not, “Did you book a cabin?”

He grinned, “Did I book a cabin? Of course I booked a cabin – I figured if you didn’t go for the whole “I love you’ speech, we could still do the whole ‘we’ll always be friends’ and ‘we’ll have sex for the hell of it’ thing. I was mad with you – but I was so miserable away from you that I really didn’t think I’d ever be able to stay away from you for long.”

I chuckled. He was so damned adorable. “Let’s go and meet the guys – see what we’ll look like in a year or two of monogamy with each other.”

Cris raised an eyebrow, “You’re already looking at it.” He said, “I haven’t slept with anyone else since we first had sex, pretty much two years ago.”

My jaw dropped, “What?” I asked. But he’d told me about the foursomes with his mate, Shane – whom I hated by the way – on his flights... “What about Shane?”

He shook his head, “Oh, God, Elliot,” he snorted, “Get with the program, will you? That was way before you and I started hooking up.”

I blinked, “Oh, wow...” I was such a twat.

He shrugged, “Hey, don’t feel bad. I knew what you were like when I decided to start sleeping with you – I wasn’t expecting anything from you – I was just trying my hardest not to fall in love with you.”

I grinned, “So was I but I failed miserably at that.” I’d fallen in love with him pretty much instantly – I’d just freaked out about it and tried to push him to the back of my mind by sleeping with everyone who showed the slightest interest until it dawned on me that I really wasn’t into any of them at all and all I was doing was visualising them as Cristian. And not one of them measured up, either.

He smiled at me and stroked my cheek, “I don’t care how many guys you’ve been with before me,” he said, “But if you ever sleep with anyone while we’re together as a proper couple – believe me when I tell you that I’m gone. I am not into sharing and I won’t share you with anyone.”

I nodded, “Ditto.” I said. I wasn’t sharing him with anyone either.

“Can we go somewhere a little quieter together?”

He grinned and nodded, “We can go to my cabin.” He said.

I blinked. The cabin. Of course, “I’d totally forgotten about that.”

He grinned. “I hadn’t.”

My dick twitched in my pants. “Fuck, when do you think it’ll be deemed polite to leave?”

He smiled, “Whenever we like, baby.” He said, moving closer and nuzzling my neck, “Whenever we like.”

I nodded, feeling a little breathless, “Is everyone else still here?”

He shrugged, “Look, Elliot,” he said assertively, “I don’t actually care who’s here and who isn’t. I came here to see you – and now that I’ve got you and now that we’ve established that we’re in love with each other – I’m only interested in celebrating that. Properly.”

Fuck. I didn’t need telling twice. He clearly wanted us to leave and go to his cabin. “Shall we?” I asked, holding out my hand.

He smiled and nodded, “Yes.” He said, “Let’s do that.”

 

 

Chapter 21 – So good...

 

Cristian

 

Thank God I’d had to balls to tell him. Thank God he felt the same.

I unlocked the cabin door and pushed the door open. I’d called and asked Kane if he could set the fire earlier in the day and he’d promised that he wouldn’t tell Elliot anything about my plans...

 

“You and Elliot, huh?” He asked, “So what the hell is going on with you and my eternally promiscuous bestie?” Kane asked, after I’d asked him to sort out the fire in the cabin for us.

I sighed dramatically because that was just the way I felt, “Well, hopefully he’s not going to be as promiscuous from now on.” I said. “We’ve been seeing each other quite a lot and I think we’ve fallen in love with each other – but you know what he’s like – he’d rather run than face something he fears.”

Kane clicked his tongue, “Hmm, he did say something a few weeks ago about you...”

My heart leapt, “What did he say?”

“He actually said he’d thought he’d blown it. Said he couldn’t see you ever taking him seriously enough to be your boyfriend – or words to that effect anyway. He doesn’t really have a massively high opinion of himself you know – he thinks he’s been too much of a dog for too long...”

I sighed. I’d had this battle with myself on and off for ages. Elliot was promiscuous – there was no denying it and I worried that I wouldn’t be enough for him to stop him from sleeping around even if we did manage to get together properly.

“He’s not been bed hopping recently though.” Kane added thoughtfully, “Said he hadn’t for a while, actually – I think he’s finally found the one in you.”

My jaw dropped. Seriously? Well that was nice to know. I thought he was always sleeping with random guys... “Really?”

Kane chuckled, “Yes, really,” he said, “He thinks you’re going to be snaffled by some celebrity – he’s really worried that he’s left things too late – he hasn’t has he?”

“No,” I said softly, “But we do need to talk.”

 And now we had talked – and we’d sorted everything out – and it was time to look forward – and being everything for each other – and I couldn’t wait.

 

“I’ll just light the fire.” I said, “And then we can...”

My sentence was cut short by Elliot turning towards me and capturing my lips with his. “It can wait another second,” He murmured, “I just want to kiss my beautiful boyfriend and to tell him I love him more than anything else in the whole world.”

I beamed at him, tears in my eyes as emotion choked me up at his lovely words, “Oh, Elliot.” I sighed, “I love you too.”

He smiled back at me and then closed the gap between us again and once again enveloped me in his warm embrace. He nibbled on my bottom lip and then licked into my mouth, tasting me and exploring my mouth with his tongue.

I sucked on his tongue greedily and groaned as his hands slid down my body to my hips, pulling me against him so I could feel how aroused he was. “Shall we get naked?” he asked a little breathlessly.

I nodded, “Oh, God, yes.” I breathed, “We need to light the fire, though.”

Elliot groaned, “It’ll take forever to get that thing going.”

I shook my head, “No it won’t.” I said with a smile, “I got Kane to set it all up – we just need one match.”

He frowned, as he watched me lighting the match and getting the fire going. “You got Kane to set the fire?” he asked, “Why would you do that?”

I smiled sheepishly as I got back up. The fire was crackling and the heat was just beginning to warm us, “Well, I’d kind of planned this.” I admitted, “I figured you’d either feel the same way I do – and come back with me or I’d be sitting here with a bottle of vodka and I’d be crying my eyes out – either way, I needed to be warm.”

He chuckled, “You’re so damned adorable.”

I grinned, “And exceedingly good at sucking cock.” I said with a grin, “And speaking of – get ‘em off. It’s warming up nicely.”

He threw his head back and laughed, “You’re the perfect boyfriend.”

I stripped my own clothes off and tossed them onto the sofa. “Shall we grab the quilt from the bedroom?” he asked.

I nodded, “Good idea – I’ll drag the cushions off the sofa to make us a cosy nest.” He chuckled as he headed for the bedroom, “Oh, and grab the condoms and lube off the side too.”

He came back in, he’d stripped down to his boxer shorts while he’d been in there and my mouth watered as he walked back in. I could see the outline of his long, thick cock through his boxer shorts. Oh, my God. That was all mine.

I knelt down on the makeshift bed and looked up at him, “Come here.” I said, “Put the quilt and pillows over there and then stand right here in front of me.” Yes, I was a demanding little bastard when I wanted to be.

Elliot grinned lazily and did as I asked. His crotch was right in front of my face – exactly where I wanted it. “Let me free this bad boy.” I murmured as I pulled his boxer shorts down his legs. His cock sprang free and bounced in front of my face. I leaned forward and breathed in his heady scent, “Fuck,” I murmured, “I love your cock.”

I poked out my tongue and licked the tip of him before wrapping my hand around the base of his shaft to hold him steady and then I closed my lips around the head of him and sucked him in.

He groaned and threaded his fingers through my hair, “That feels so good, Cris,” he murmured above me, “So good.”

I moaned around his cock, swirling my tongue around the head and dipping the tip of my tongue into the slit before taking the length of him deeper into my mouth, concentrating on relaxing my throat and allowing him deeper access. I really loved deep-throating him; the feel of his entire length in my mouth and his balls bouncing gently against my chin as I took him to the brink of ecstasy was incredibly powerful. I’d never thought of myself as submissive but I could see how some guys thought it was the sub’s role to give head – I didn’t agree – I loved having the power to turn him into a trembling mess as he came down my throat, loved it.

I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and got back to my feet, “So,” I murmured, “What shall we do now?”

He smiled, “Well, I see that you have a very hard cock that needs some relief.”

I nodded, “It really does.”

“Wanna fuck me?” he asked.

I shook my head, “I’m never fucking again.” I said, making his jaw drop. I smiled. He was misunderstanding me. I stroked his face with my fingertips, “I’m going to make love to you,” I said softly, “because you’re my boyfriend now, not my fuck-buddy. And, I want us face to face from now on, too. I want to see your beautiful face as I make love to you. I want to see you enjoying yourself.”

He smiled, “That sounds perfect.” He whispered as he leaned in for a kiss.

 

 

Chapter 22 – Focusing the mind...

 

Three months later

 

Cristian

 

It was just another flight. Just another day at the office, so to speak – and I was just dying for the two-hour flight to be over so I could go home and see my boyfriend, Elliot. I still got a silly smile on my face whenever I thought about him. It was still amazing to me to think that we were actually boyfriends now.

I was working with Gilly today and had been for the last couple of weeks. It went like this every couple of months or so. I liked Gilly a lot but she wasn’t as much fun as Shane, who was so full of fun the flight always passed in what felt like half the time.

Still, it was only a short flight today anyway and I’d see him again next month when our schedules lined up again.

I’d done the pre-flight safety demonstration a thousand times and had been trained on what to do in an emergency more times that I’d had hot dinners. I thought I’d know what to do but when the pilot’s voice came over the intercom telling us to stop what we were doing and to take our seats immediately, I’ve got to admit that I panicked slightly before I got my arse in gear.

I stared at Gilly over the top of the trolley and I could see that she was just as much in a state of shock as I was.

“Seats.” I said, “Now – move!”

She nodded and we both scrambled to get the trolley that we were halfway down the central aisle with back to the front of the plane and then once that was secured, we took our seats. Less than a second later the plane nose-dived and almost every one of the one hundred and eighty passengers on board made some sort of panicked noise. There were screams and grunts and prayers and the odd soothing word from one partner to another. There were frightened children’s voices and I closed my eyes and tried not to think that this was the way it was going to end. I knew we were over the sea at the moment and the idea of a watery end made my insides feel very loose.

The noise the craft was making was probably the most frightening thing – and to see the oxygen masks dangling down, and the passengers all trying desperately to get them in place as the plane seemed to remain in a never ending dive was truly terrifying.

Gillian was squeezing the life out of my hand, “If you make it and I don’t, can you let Jerry know that I love him more than anything – and can you tell him that I was pregnant – not far along but eight weeks – and that I was the happiest I’d ever been...”

My eyes filled with tears. Oh, God. She was pregnant with his child and we might die... That was so sad. “You’re not going to die, Gilly,” I said, hoping like hell that I was right and we weren’t all going to die in a ball of fire or cold, wet, darkness. “None of us are.”

She nodded, biting her lip and her eyes full of tears, “Okay.” She said, “Okay.”

Seconds later the plane flattened out and the pilot came back over the intercom full of apologies to the passengers and advising that we were going to make an emergency landing at the nearest airport, which was Barcelona – and that it was just a minor technical issue that had caused the cabin pressure to drop. Another plane was already waiting for us to re-board and that we’d be on our way in less than an hour.

Gilly collapsed in my arms and sobbed.

“Hey,” I said, stroking her hair, “You can tell Jerry yourself now.”

She nodded, “I was so scared, Cris, so scared.”

I nodded, “Oh, God I was too – so scared.” I winced at how strong my lisp was as I gave her a big hug, which was as much for myself as it was for her, “Let’s go and check on the passengers, okay?”

She smiled, “Oh, God – of course, of course – they must have been so scared, poor lambs.”

Gilly was such a darling. She was thirty-eight and I don’t think she and her husband had ever held out much hope of having a family of their own, meeting only a year ago before they married after a bit of a whirlwind romance.

Well, now – thanks to the skill and nerves of steel of our pilot, John – we were all going home to our loved ones and she was going home to the love of her life with some life-changing news for the pair of them and I couldn’t have been happier for her. And I really couldn’t wait to talk to Elliot... I had to speak to him as soon as we landed. There was nothing like a near-death experience to focus the mind and in those moments when I thought I was never going to see him again I realised something quite profound.

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And I wanted the rest of my life to begin right now...

 

*

 

As we sat on the runway on the new plane, waiting for the baggage to be transferred, I switched my mobile phone back on. I’d have to put it back to flight mode in a few minutes but I really needed to hear Elliot’s voice.

I had twenty-seven texts. I scanned through them and my heart swelled with love and joy.

“Oh, God. Tell me you’re safe.”

“Baby – please – I love you so much. Tell me you’re safe.”

I scanned the rest. They were all the same – Elliot telling me how much he loved me and wanted to marry me.

With shaking hands I found his name and pressed the call button.

“Cris?” He sounded like he’d got a bad cold.

“I’m fine, Elliot – don’t worry.” I quickly explained what had happened and that we were waiting to take off.”

He started crying, “Oh, my God – never do that to me again!”

I laughed through my own tears, “I can’t really promise that, sweetheart.”

He chuckled, “No, I understand that. It’s your job... your life... But I promise that I’ll be waiting at the airport for you.”

My heart jumped, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“And I really can’t wait to see you either baby.” He said.

 

 

 

Chapter 23 – The proposal...

 

Elliot

 

The relief I felt when I finally spoke to him was overwhelming. I’d been absolutely beside myself when my twitter feed had blown up with all sorts of tweets about Cris’s flight going into a nosedive over the Mediterranean. It was agonising waiting for some sort of information about the safety of the passengers and crew and I’d sent off about a million texts to him – knowing he wouldn’t be able to answer any of them while they were still flying but hoping against hope he’d answer me as soon as he could.

Finally, he called me back and assured me that he was as safe as houses.

With promises to see each other in a couple of hours I set off out. I had something I had to do – and I needed a little help from my friends to do it...

 

*

 

“Guys!” I shouted as I burst into the Swain’s family home.

Kane and Kurt were in the kitchen together. Both turned with matching guilty faces. I frowned, “What are you two up to?” I asked, immediately suspicious.

Kane shook his head, “Nothing,” He said, “Just getting some shortbread and stuff.”

I grinned and nodded knowingly, “and pinching it while you’re at it.” I chuckled. It was a wonder neither of them were massively overweight with the amount of biscuits and cakes they could consume in secret in the kitchen.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” asked Kurt.

“I need your help.” I said, bouncing on my heels in excitement, “I’m meeting Cris at the airport in a couple of hours and I want you to help me make a banner.”

Kane raised an eyebrow, “A banner?”

I nodded, “Yes,” I said, “A ‘Marry me?’ banner.

Kane’s whoop of joy made me jump and roused his and Kurt’s partners into the kitchen. “What’s going on?” Sebastian asked, as he tucked himself into Kurt’s side.

“I’m asking Cristian to marry me.” I said bashfully, “And I wondered if you guys would like to come and see me make a total dick of myself at the airport?”

Kane grinned, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He said, “I always knew you two would end up together.”

I nodded, “Me too.” I murmured, “He was the one from the moment we ever laid eyes on each other.”

George stepped forward and grabbed my hand, giving it a firm shake, he beamed at me, “Congratulations.” He said sincerely, “I always thought you two were well-matched.”

I could feel my face heating up. I nodded, “It took a while for the penny to drop,” I admitted, a little shame-faced, “I behaved like a dick for ages,” I shook my head, “I have no idea why he’s put up with me for so long.”

Kane chuckled, “It’s called falling in love, idiot.” He said, punching my shoulder, “He loves you – therefore, he was willing to overlook all of your bad habits.”

I nodded, “Well, I’m a changed man.” I said, “I only want him. I don’t need meaningless hook-ups anymore. I have no idea why I did it for so long – they’re really unsatisfying.”

The guys all looked at me with the same expression and I grinned around at them all, “Yeah, okay, I get it, you know – I was a prick.”

They all nodded, “Yes, you were – but we all still love you.” Kurt leaned forward and ruffled my hair affectionately.

“Hey – watch the hair – there’s not enough left of it to ruffle.” I growled.

We all laughed.

 

 

Chapter 24 – Bling and banners...

 

Cristian

 

There had been little time between getting off one plane and onto the other one and I was pleased that I’d made my purchase on a whim before we’d left first thing this morning.

The girls in the duty free shop and I were quite familiar with each other – I’d stopped to chat about cologne and make up lots of times but this morning I’d been after something else.

“Hola, Cristian.” Luciana, a girl around my age called out from behind her desk.

I smiled, “Hola, Luciana,” I cooed back to her, “Where do I find the jewellery – the good stuff.”

She smiled, her eyes lighting up, “Have you got someone important in your life?” she asked.

I nodded excitedly, “I have!” I gushed, “And he’s absolutely gorgeous – and he loves me!”

She laughed, “Well, of course he loves you.” She said, her accent getting thicker as she spoke more quickly, “We all love you!”

I smiled, “Aw, thanks, babe.” I could feel my face heating up, “So, any suggestions?”

She nodded, “It depends whether you like silver or gold – but let me show you what we’ve got.”

I picked two rings, a plain silver band and an entwined silver and diamond ring that was a little more blingy. I loved a bit of bling...

And now I was on my way again. I’d see my beautiful boyfriend in less than two hours and I really couldn’t wait.

 

*

 

Thankfully the flight went without a hitch and we touched down without so much as a bump. Everyone on board cheered as the aircraft was expertly guided to it’s final destination and then there was the usual scramble for bags once the lights were all off and the stairs were put to the cabin doors.

I sighed. I was itching to get off and to go and find Elliot but ever the professionals, we had to tidy the cabin first.

Finally it was our turn to get off, get through customs and go and find our loved ones.

Gilly gave me a hug, wished me luck with my proposal and dashed off to find her husband.

I took a deep breath, you can do this, I told myself. I was sure he’d say yes; we’d come a long way from the snatched moments of nothing but sex and we were both a lot happier knowing that we were finally in an exclusive, loving, committed relationship with each other.

It had simply been a matter of time before we took the next step and made our commitment to each other official – but I felt it was absolutely the right time.

I stepped through the gate to the arrivals lounge and my jaw dropped.

There was my beautiful boyfriend, flanked on both sides by his best friends and their respective partners, all five of them holding up a banner. ‘Marry Me’ was scrawled across it in his messy writing.

My eyes filled with tears as I stumbled towards him, “Oh, my God,” I cried, “Yes! Yes!”

He beamed at me, “Serious?” he asked, “You’ll marry me?”

I nodded, my vision blurred with the tears, “Of course I will!” I exclaimed, “I love you so much Elliot!”

He dropped the banner and wrapped me up in his arms, “Oh, Cristian,” he sighed as he rubbed his nose against mine, “I love you too – more than anything else in the world.”

He kissed me then and I indulged myself in his wonderfully soft, warm lips before pulling away slightly, “Did you get me a ring?” I asked.

His smile disappeared and he looked slightly panicked, “Uh, no – not yet, it was a bit spur of the moment if I’m honest.”

I grinned, “well, good,” I said, “Because we’d have too many if you had.” I dropped to my knees and rummaged in my carry on. Finding the package that I’d stuffed at the top only a few hours ago – that felt like a lifetime ago now – I pulled it out. Staying on my knees I looked up at him and then opened the box of the plain silver band – there was no way he’d wear the blingy one, no way...

“Will you marry me?” I asked.

He sank to his knees and gazed at me, “You had the same idea?”

I nodded, “It looks like it, doesn’t it?” I asked with a chuckle.

Seconds later Kane and George and Kurt and Sebastian were all on their knees too, hugging us both and congratulating us. It was fantastic.

 

 

Chapter 25 – Four Christmas’s and (finally) a wedding...

 

“I can’t believe you’re getting married at Christmas,” Kurt shook his head and chuckled.

I grinned, “What can I say? It’s my favourite time of year.” I said with a shrug, “And Cristian’s managed to get a whole month off so we can have a proper honeymoon and everything.”

Kurt grinned, “Yeah,” he agreed, “I didn’t say it wasn’t perfect – I’m just still trying to get my head around you being in a committed relationship with the man you love. I’ve gotta tell you, mate – I never thought I’d see the day you settled down and got married.”

I nodded and sighed, “Yeah, well – I think I was always in love with him – even when we were young.”

Kurt nodded, “I reckon you’re right.” He said, “I always thought he was a little pain and you always argued his corner with him so he could come along with us.”

I sighed, “It was a sad day when we all got to eighteen and had to leave him behind.”

Kurt nodded, “I’ll bet.” He murmured, “So, can I ask you something?” without waiting for a response, he ploughed right on. “Did you two ever get together back then – you know when he was fifteen and we all turned eighteen?”

I blushed, “No.” I said quickly.

He narrowed his eyes, “Are you quite sure?”

Fuck. Busted. I’d never told anyone about that night...

His jaw dropped, “What?” he asked, “You didn’t...” his eyes widened comically, “Did you have sex?”

I shook my head, “God, no!” I blustered, “He was fifteen! What sort of a guy do think I am?”

He had the good grace to look slightly ashamed of his assumption, “Right, right, sure.” He said, “But you kissed him, right?”

I nodded, “He was distraught.” I said as I remembered the night we were all going off to a nightclub and he was left at home. Poor Cristian, it was the first time ever he’d been left out of any of our activities and it was a real wrench for the both of us – but particularly him.

“You’ll forget all about me.” He wailed, putting his face in his hands and turning away from me so I couldn’t see him cry.

It did something to me when he was upset. I hated seeing him so unhappy. I gently turned him back to face me and placing my hands over his I took them away from his face gently, “I will never forget about you,” I said, “Never.”

He looked up at me, his mouth slightly open, tears on his face and his little nose all pink from crying. He looked beautiful and I just couldn’t help myself. I leaned in and kissed his swollen lips. “And it was like magic.” I murmured, “When I next kissed him it was all those years later but I don’t know. It was like my lips remembered his. I felt like I’d come home, somehow.” I shrugged. It sounded corny and stupid but it was absolutely true.

Kurt smiled, “You were always meant to be.” He said, “It’s obvious to anyone.”

I smiled and nodded, “I know.” I said, “Now, how do I look?” I thought I looked pretty damned hot in my navy blue designer suit. It had cost enough so I damned well hoped I looked good.

Kurt grinned, “Good enough to marry Cristian Llardi.” He said, “Definitely.”

I punched his arm. He and Kane were being my best men, we’d roped Sebastian and George into being ushers and we were going to be reunited with another good friend in Cristian’s brother, Allesandro, since he was being Cristian’s best man.

Cristian was getting ready over at his apartment and they were going to arrive in around an hour before we had our ceremony in the hotel in the centre of the town.

We’d toyed with the idea of having the ceremony at the top of the mountain on the slopes, but really, who wants to freeze their nuts off in the middle of December? So we chose the nicest hotel instead and everyone was coming. Cristian’s parents were already at the hotel, having flown in a couple of days before, and my family – my real family, as in Kane, Kurt and their parents – were all getting ready here with me.

My parents had been invited but as was usual, they had something more important to do. Whatever. I was a big boy now and I really didn’t need their disdain for my existence in my life.

Kurt poked his head around the door, “Ready guys?” he asked. “It’s time.”

I grinned, “I’m definitely ready.” I said. “I can’t wait!”

 

*

 

Cristian

 

Allesandro was like a cat on a hot tin roof, “We need to get going,” he said as I fussed with my hair one last time to make sure it was absolutely perfect for Elliot, “It’s only the bride that’s allowed to be fashionably late for her wedding – not the fucking groom!”

I chuckled, “We’re both grooms,” I said, “Relax, we’ll be on time.”

The car had just pulled up a few seconds ago so we weren’t late at all.

I turned to my brother, “There.” I said, “I’m ready – shall we?”

He grinned, “You look adorable.” He said, slinging an arm around my shoulder and giving me a quick hug, “Elliot’s a very lucky guy.”

I nodded, “So am I – he’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Allesandro grinned, “I think the feeling is entirely mutual.” He remarked drily, “He never wanted you left out of anything when we were kids. There was me, desperate to shake you off so I could spend quality time with my mates, naively thinking we could all go out looking for girls – and every fucking one of them was as gay as a picnic basket.”

I chuckled, “Yeah,” I said fondly, “To be fair, Elliot was out and proud when we met him.” He was totally my hero for that alone, “And I think he saw that I was too and just wanted to show me that it was okay, you know?”

Allesandro nodded, “Yeah,” he agreed, “He was good for you – and obviously he still is – I’m really happy for you, mate.”

I beamed at him, “Thanks for being my best man.” I said, “It means the world to me.”

He beamed back at me, “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, mate.” He said, “And uh, by the way – you’re gonna be an uncle again – Melissa’s pregnant again.”

I felt myself welling up. “Oh, my God!” I squealed, “That’s amazing!” I wafted my hands in front of my face in an effort to stop myself from crying and ruining my make-up.

Allesandro looked at me in alarm, “Dude!” he exclaimed in horror, “Your mascara!”

I shook my head, “It’s run proof.” I assured him. Seriously? How daft did he think I was?

We drew up outside the hotel and jumped out of the car. I couldn’t wait to get inside and see what Elliot looked like. I was wearing a dark plum coloured suit by the same designer. We’d chosen the designer together but had opted to shop separately from each other.

His best men were wearing the same suit as he was, and Allesandro was wearing the same suit as me – and I’m not gonna lie; he looked almost as good as I did.

I spotted Mrs Swain before any of the others, but then I spied Kane and George having a drink at the bar and finally, my eyes met with my husband-to-be. My heart took off at a gallop and my face just about split in two as he started towards me, just about shoving everyone out of the way to get to me, “Cris,” he breathed as he gathered me in his arms,”

“Elliot,” I sighed and lifted my face for a kiss, “This is the best day of my life.”

He nodded, “Mine too.” He said, “Shall we go through?”

I nodded, “Absolutely.”

He took my hand in his and we led the way into the room where the ceremony was to take place.

We’d talked about it before the ceremony, and we’d decided between us that I would go first with my vows. I’d written them down but I really didn’t need to refer to them. I was speaking entirely from the heart.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. With a huge smile he looked back at me, his eyes full of love and warmth. I smiled back at him and started talking, “From the moment we finally confronted our real feelings for each other, I’ve never been happier, more fulfilled or felt more loved. You are everything I’ve ever wanted or needed and I love you more than I can tell you. You are, quite simply everything I need.”

Elliot’s eyes filled with tears as he gazed at me. “So,” I continued, “with this ring that I’m giving you today, I promise to always put you first, to love and to cherish you – and if we’re ever lucky enough to have children – them too, every single day of our lives together, till death us do part.”

There were collective “Aw’s,” from around the room and then everyone broke out in applause. I giggled as I put the new ring on Elliot’s finger. This one matched his plain silver band, but had a single diamond set into the silver and I’d had it engraved on the inside too. It simply said, “eternally yours.”

Elliot had tears running down his face even though he was smiling. He leaned in and kissed me. “I love you.” He whispered.

The minister turned to him. “Would you like to say your vows now?” He asked.

Elliot swallowed hard and nodded, his nerves clearly beginning to kick in. “I’m a bit of a traditionalist at heart but I realise that we couldn’t really go with the traditional vows said in church…”

I smiled and nodded, “No, quite.” I agreed.

Elliot took a deep breath and I held mine. I couldn’t believe we’d actually got this far – that Elliot had finally decided to shake off his promiscuous ways and wanted to settle down with me but he really had – he really was mine, forever. He started talking and I really wanted to cry but I did my best to hold it together for him, “You know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you, even when I wasn’t aware of it.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled, looking slightly embarrassed. “You travel all over the world and you meet so many people every day from all over the place – some of them rich and famous – and you could have chosen any one of them.”

He was looking at me in something close to wonder that I’d chosen him and I wanted to tell him that I’d chosen him because I’d fallen in love with him when I was just twelve years old. But this was his turn to speak so I stayed quiet.

He smiled at me, “Sometimes I can’t actually believe that you really love me and I feel so lucky that you do.” He paused, fighting to keep control of his emotions. I smiled at him and nodded encouragingly, I wanted him to carry on because I really wanted to hear what he had to say, “We only get one life – and some people never meet the one, the person they call their soul mate – but I found mine in you and I can’t think of a better person to spend the rest of my life with. So, I promise to love and cherish only you – and I know I can do it because no one makes me feel the way you do – and no one ever has. I just love you, Cristian.”

My eyes overflowed with tears as I threw my arms around his neck and smashed my mouth into his, “Oh, God.” I managed to say through my kisses, “I love you too.”

The whole congregation stood and applauded us as Elliot disentangled himself from me for long enough to push the ring he’d got me onto my finger. I looked at it sitting snuggly next to my blingy ring. It was perfection, utter perfection...

 

 

Epilogue

 

Elliot

 

The reception had gone with a bang – all of the guests had had a brilliant time and we’d all danced until we couldn’t dance any more.

Finally it was time for us to say goodbye to our guests and go to our room for the night before we jetted out the next morning for our honeymoon.

We stood outside the door while Cris fumbled in his pocket for the key.

He stepped forward to swipe the card.

“Wait!” I grabbed his arm and turned him to me.

He looked up, his glorious eyes sparkling, “What?” he asked.

I grinned, “I can’t cross the threshold without picking you up and carrying you across.”

He chuckled, “I’m a groom too, you know.” He said flirtatiously, “What if I wanted to pick you up?”

I laughed, “Well, you can try, babe.” I said, “But I think I’m by far the heaviest and biggest out of the two of us.”

He nodded, “I know.” He said “You’re my big, hunky man. Of course you can pick me up.” He quickly swiped the card and the door opened with a little click.

With a growl, I scooped him easily into my arms and shouldered the door open.

The room was the wedding suite and it was a truly fantastic space. In the bathroom there were matching his and his bathrobes that I thought were a nice touch and I figured we could have a nice shower together before I got him into bed.

I walked over to the king-sized bed and placed Cristian down onto it. Climbing on top of him, I started to kiss him, “Have I told you how adorable you looked today?” I murmured as I nuzzled his neck and breathed in the heady scent of his cologne.

He giggled, “Yeah,” he said, “About a hundred and fifty times.”

I chuckled, “Well, it’s true.” I said, “You’re the best Christmas present I’ve ever had.”

He leaned away from me, “What?” he asked, “Better than your games console?”

I grinned and nodded, “Better than my games console.” I agreed.

He smiled cheekily, “Better than your teddy bear that I’ll bet you’ve got packed in your suitcase somewhere, along with your butt plugs, lube and condoms – which we no longer need, by the way – as long as you got tested before the wedding, too.”

My lips twitched, “How do you know about the butt plugs and lube?” Of course I’d got my teddy bear – he’d been with me since I was born – there was no way I was going anywhere without him.

Cris grinned, “I know your penchant for using them.” He said, “So why wouldn’t you bring them on the honeymoon?”

Good point. “I got tested months ago.” I said, “As soon as we finally got together properly.”

Cris beamed at me, “Oh, my God!” he said, “Me too – we could have gone bareback ages ago – but it’s nice that we’ve saved it for our wedding night.”

I nodded, my dick was as hard as steel at his words. I couldn’t wait to get my cock inside him without a condom – to be able to feel him properly. Oh, my God – heaven...

“Let’s get showered and everything.” Cris said, scrambling off the bed and starting to strip, “And then we can get all lubed up and have some fun.”

I nodded, following him to the bathroom. I couldn’t really think of anything other than having lots and lots of filthy sex – and it was going to start in that shower...

“Oh, my God!” Cris yelled as I pushed up and into him. I had him pinned against the wall of the shower with the gloriously hot water cascading over the two of us as I spread his cheeks and started to work my cock into him.

He pulled me into a totally filthy kiss that promised so much more than kissing. It was like he was fucking my mouth with his tongue in much the same way that my cock was working his hole.

“When we get in the bed.” He panted, “I want you inside me – and I want you to suck me.”

I blinked, “Is that actually possible?” I asked.

He nodded, “Totally possible.” He said, “I saw it on Tumblr.”

Okay. Challenge accepted. I could definitely have a go at that next time... “What did the guy look like?” I asked.

“Average build,” he gasped as I hit his sweet spot, “he was fucking a bigger guy than himself.”

“So, you fancy me doing that to you now?”

He groaned loudly, “Definitely.” He panted, “Grab my cock, babe – and make me come.”

Well, I could certainly do that... I slid one hand away from his waist where I was holding onto him and took his hard cock in my hand. I started to work his cock in rhythm with each thrust. It didn’t take long before the pair of us were coming.

My legs were like jelly as I slid out of him and we helped each other get cleaned up. “Wow.” I breathed, leaning against him, “I think I like bareback.”

He smiled, “Me too.” He said, “I could feel all of you – it felt good.”

We got out of the shower and over to the bed. Cris lay down on the bed and opened his bathrobe. I gazed at his beautiful body, his sculpted legs and his beautiful cock, which was currently semi-soft and resting against his thigh.

I crawled up the bed, eyeing him lustfully. He started to giggle, “Oh, my God, I feel totally like a little deer being stalked by a big, bad tiger.” He said.

I laughed, “Shall I growl to make it more authentic?”

He nodded, “Ooh, definitely.” He said, “Devour me completely.”

I started to kiss his ankle and then ran my tongue up his leg, which was completely free of hair – as was pretty much the rest of him. Someone had waxed for the occasion. “When did you get everything waxed?” I asked, “I like it.”

He smiled, “I went to a salon in France a couple of day ago – before I flew in.”

I nodded, “Nice.” I said, “I’ll come with you next time and get done too.”

He nodded, stroking my hair as my lips closed over his cock, “That sounds nice,” he said, “Although I rather like nuzzling your hairy chest.”

“Oh, okay – well, whatever you’d prefer. I’m easy.”

“I’d heard that about you,” he groaned as I sucked hard on his cock and slid a finger inside him at the same time, “It didn’t put me off you though – quite the opposite. I like a virile man.”

I worked a second finger inside him and started to stroke his prostate. He gasped a little and stopped talking. He just kept making pretty little gasps and groans that had my cock standing on end.

“May I swap my fingers for my cock?” I asked. I was aware that he wasn’t new to anal sex or anything, but I’d already given him quite a good seeing to in the shower and I didn’t want to make him sore.

He groaned anew, “God, yes please.” He moaned, “Get more lube though – and you can try sucking me too.”

Well, who was a mind reader? That had totally been my plan. “Yes, sir.” I said with a grin.

It was a little awkward, but once I’d gotten into a pattern of pulling off his cock as I thrust into him and then pulling out of him and going down on his cock, I got into my stride.

“fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck!” Cristian was moaning and groaning as I gave him everything I’d got.

He came as I slammed into him, his come splashing all over my face and neck. “Oh, my God.” I groaned as I leaned up to kiss him, “That was fucking awesome.”

He nodded. We were still joined and I knew he’d be able to taste his own juices as we kissed. I’d never actually gone in for a kiss with his jizz all over my face before though and I was a little worried that he’d be grossed out. He didn’t care – in fact he licked the side of my face clean and then stuck his tongue in my mouth for me to suck. My husband was so damned sexy...

Finally, we were all fucked out and lying in each other’s arms, dozing and kissing and touching each other.

I totally loved that he fit so perfectly into my side. It was like the space between my shoulder and my chest had been specially made for his head to rest.

“I love you.” He murmured, halfway between consciousness and sleep.

“And I love you, too.” I murmured back, “So much.”

He looked up at me through his beautiful long lashes, “I knew I’d end up with you.” He said, “When I first saw you flirting awkwardly with my brother. I just had a feeling that one day you’d be mine.”

I chuckled, “It took me a little longer to get there.” I admitted, “But when I saw you in the airport – when I was meeting George and Ellie that first Christmas we got together – that was when I knew.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, “God,” he murmured, “I wish you’d said something. We could have been together – properly – ages ago.”

I nodded, “I know,” I agreed, “But all good things are worth the wait. I know you were.”

He smiled, “Yeah,” he agreed leaning up and kissing my jaw, “So were you.”

 

 

The End

 

 

Thank you for reading Determined. If you enjoyed this book, I would be grateful if you could help others enjoy it too. Please help other readers find it by recommending it to your friends and/or discussion groups. Please tell other readers why you liked it by reviewing it. Your help is greatly appreciated.

 

 

Coming Soon

 

A Whole New Series

 

The Band

 

 

When Danny met Horatio... (The Band #1)

 

Danny

 

I wasn’t gay. That was my brother, Jules... step-brother actually so we didn’t even share DNA... I was the straight one of the family. I was normal.

I never wanted to be like Julian. Jeez. He even had a poofter’s name. Julian – for fuck’s sake – his Mum must have known when she first laid eyes on him to call him that...

But for all his gayness – Jules was, without any doubt whatsoever, comfortable in his skin. Something I was not – and I fucking hated him for it. Well, I didn’t really hate him... that’s a strong word and if I’m honest, I secretly admired him for being out and proud but I was never gonna let him know that. No. I preferred to chase girls with my mates and to take the piss out of guys like Jules, mercilessly. I wasn’t into gay-bashing or anything like that – but they were fair game for taking the piss out of and jeering at. They were bum-bandits or shit-stabbers – or turd-burglars – anything that we could piss ourselves laughing about – even if we did secretly wonder just what it would be like to feel another guy’s cock... Or maybe that was just me...

But that was before I grew up... and grew a pair.

I liked to think I’d matured since my school days. I was married now – newly married to my long-term girlfriend, Mara and we were happy... or at least she was happy when I was doing what she wanted. When I wasn’t – well, let’s say we had a volatile relationship.

We’d moved into our own place and I’d joined to gym. There was a five-a-side football team that I’d been asked to join too – and that was where I’d met Horatio.

I was completely intrigued with him from the moment we met.

I didn’t think much about it to begin with. I was absolutely convinced I was straight. Hell, I’d been around Jules growing up and I was quite sure I was nothing like him. I loved sport. Jules didn’t. I wanted to be a mechanic – Jules loved hairdressing. I chased girls – he chased boys. We were nothing alike and I therefore assumed I was straight...

And I was straight – until I met Horatio...

 

 

Chapter I – After game drinks...

 

Horatio

 

I loved being in the band. I loved having mates that didn’t care that I fancied guys rather than girls – even if I had no romantic feelings for any of them – and I loved playing five-a-side football to escape them all and their artistic temperaments from time to time, too. I wasn’t your typical flamboyant, made up and sweet smelling twinky gay guy that everyone envisages when you mention that you’re gay. I was a regular guy, built like every other hairy-arsed bloke – I just happened to fancy other hairy-arsed blokes instead of women.

And besides, you can’t spend every waking moment with your best mates – no matter how close you are...

It was playing five-a-side football when I first met Danny. I couldn’t help noticing how pretty he was from the first time I ever laid eyes on him. We’d played the game and gone for a drink afterwards and I’d been the last to get to the bar due to Karl, our lead singer, calling me.

I rocked up just in time for Jayson, a big, daft lad who was only really good enough to put in goal, to turn back from the bar to hand Danny his pint and he looked at me, “Oh Horatio!” he grinned, “There you are – usual?”

I nodded, grinning, as Danny turned and I’m not gonna lie, my heart did a total flip-flop in my chest. Those eyes! Man, I didn’t think I’d ever get used to them...

He had the bluest eyes ever – and the longest lashes. Fuck he was beautiful...

Danny’s eyes widened slightly in recognition and he grinned, “Hey, man – I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.”

I grinned back at him and raised an eyebrow. I couldn’t help the flirtatious chuckle that escaped against my will, “Really?” I drawled, “Want me to take something off?”

He snorted into his drink and shook his head, “No, dude,” He said, “I’m good.”

Jayson shook his head and disappeared off to join the others, leaving Danny still sat at the bar. He nodded to the barstool beside him, “Are you gonna sit down – or are you joining the others, too?”

I blinked, “Aren’t you?”

He shook his head and sighed, “I have to go in a minute – the wife’ll be waiting.”

My jaw dropped as my heart plummeted, “Y-you’re married?” Well, that was a fucking disappointment.

He nodded and held up his left hand where a fine gold band circled his third finger. I frowned at it. That wasn’t a wedding ring. If he was my husband I’d buy him a solid platinum ring that could be seen from space – well, okay, slight exaggeration – but it would a ring to be proud of – and I’d have one to match, too...

Still, I was getting ahead of myself – we’d only just met and he was married and straight – and I was a flaky, butch but still gay-as-a-rainbow, wannabe pop-star...

“Wow,” I murmured, “You don’t look old enough.” It was lame, but I had nothing else.

He grinned, “Yeah, I guess we are pretty young – we’re both twenty.”

I shook my head, “Jesus,” I replied with a sheepish grin, “I’m twenty-three and I’ve never once had any inclination to settle down.”

He shrugged, “We’re all different, I guess – you’ve just not met the right one yet. That’s all.”

We sat there in silence for a moment both of us lost in our own thoughts and drinking our beers. I was kind of pleased to see that he was drinking the same beer as mine. For some reason, I was really interested in finding out more about him. Sure, he was married and all – but that didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends... did it?

Danny however, seemed to be desperate to finish his drink and to get going. He kept glancing at his watch and switching his phone on every couple of minutes to check the time.

“Have you got to be somewhere?” I asked, “You’re like a cat on a hot tin roof.” I smiled at him.

He stared back at me, his eyes on my mouth as I spoke and then they flickered back to my eyes. Wow, he was stunning... “I, uh, yeah – I’ve gotta go.” He nodded and stood up. Grabbing his sports bag he smiled apologetically at me and darted past.

I grabbed his arm before he could disappear on me altogether, “You’ll come on Thursday, though, right?” I asked.

He nodded, “Oh, uh, yeah – sure. See you then.”

I let out the breath I wasn’t aware I was holding, “Cool,” I said with a relieved smile, “I’ll see you then.”

 

 

Chapter II – Fight for love...

 

Danny

 

I pressed the button on the alarm fob of my car keys and climbed into the car. Throwing my bag onto the passenger seat, I crossed my arms over the steering wheel and rested my head on my arms, “Oh, God.” I muttered, “Why now?”

It wasn’t that I hadn’t been attracted to guys before – I had. But I’d always thought that I was just admiring their physiques in an ‘I wish I looked like that’ kind of way. To realise that I’d actually fancied them all this time made me feel, first and foremost, kind of ashamed of myself for giving my step-brother such a hard time – and horrified that it had taken me so damned long to realise what I was feeling. Lastly I felt stupid. I was married... to a girl. How the hell was I supposed to tell Mara?

I started the car, still thinking about Horatio. God he was attractive. All muscle and tattoos and beautiful dark skin... But it was his kind, soft brown eyes that I really couldn’t get out of my mind. Mara never had kindness in her eyes – she was a beautiful woman, don’t get me wrong. And she had her good points. She was clever; she had a great job – allowing me to continue with my mechanics degree – and a great sense of humour. But she also had a temper on her that was fiery to say the least. She’d broken cups and plates by throwing them in a temper – narrowly missing me a couple of times and once or twice she had physically attacked me. She’d always been really apologetic and mortified with herself afterwards and always vowed never to do it again. Up to now it hadn’t recurred but to say I was wary about upsetting her was putting it mildly...

I pulled up outside the house and pasted on my happy face. I stuck my key in the lock and opened the door. “Mara?”

I let out a sigh of relief that she wasn’t home already and headed for the kitchen. If I got dinner started it was one less thing that she could have a go at me over.

I wasn’t the best cook in the world but I made a decent enough lasagne so I got on with that. As I stirred in the tomatoes and added the puree, my mind drifted back to Horatio. What a fucking cool name...

 

*

 

Fear clenched my stomach as I heard Mara’s key in the door. This was ridiculous. I wasn’t supposed to be afraid of my wife – but I couldn’t help it. If I was going to be completely honest, she scared the living shit out of me. I was never sure if she was going to be in a good mood – or if she was just gonna go bat-shit crazy on me...

Thankfully she had a smile on her face so I was relatively safe... “Babe,” she sniffed the air, “You made lasagne.” She leaned in and kissed me and I breathed in the scent of her. She always smelled so damned good. I fucking loved Chanel...

“Have a good day?” I asked as I popped my masterpiece in the oven and set the time. Grabbing a couple of glasses from the cupboard I poured us a red wine each and then followed her into the lounge.

She shrugged, “Busy – but it was good – we’ve acquired a new partner – so things are gonna be crazy-busy for a while but it’ll really put us on the map....”

I nodded and smiled in all the right places, but my mind kept on drifting back to Horatio. His smile – it was so genuine and so damned friendly. He really didn’t seem to have a hidden agenda – so refreshing.

I found myself wondering what he was doing now. Did he have a girlfriend or did he live alone – or with parents? I sighed, suddenly wishing that I was single and still at home with Dad... I missed him. I needed to call him...

“Are you even listening to me?” Mara’s voice cut into my daydreaming sharply.

“Uh?” I blinked. Fuck. I really had missed most of what she’d just been talking about. “Sorry – I’m just a bit tired...”

She snorted, “Fuck off.” She said derisively, “Like playing football and throwing together a lasagne’s anything like what I have to do every day.” She was glaring at me.

I swallowed, “I said I was sorry.”

Her lip curled, “I’m going to have a bath.”

“But your dinner...”

“I’ll have it later,” She snapped, “It’s not as if it’s going to ruin.”

I swallowed hard. No, it wouldn’t ruin. It was just shitty lasagne, after all. Nothing special...

I flicked the TV on and sat back, my good mood from earlier disappearing along with hers. Fuck. Talk about a fun-sponge. She was damned near impossible to please...

 

 

Short Stories by Heather Mar-Gerrison

 

 

Friends

Zoe’s First Date with Fate

Save The Last Dance (Dance #1)

Can We Dance (Dance #2)

Inevitable…

Seven

Something Stupid

Maybe Never…

Kiss The Boy (Boy Next Door #1)

Are We Good...? (Boy Next Door #2)

Equal Measures (Boy Next Door #3)

Some Kind of Paradise (Boy Next Door #4)

Without You... (Boy Next Door #5)

Looking for Trouble (Boy Next Door #6)

Best Boyfriend Ever... (Boy Next Door #7)

Racing Hearts... (Boy Next Door #8)

I need a little time... (Boy Next Door #9)

 

What If... I Belonged to You? (What If? #1)

 

 

Coming Soon

 

What If... I want commitment? (What If #2)

What If... I Remember? (What If? #3)

 

 

Contemporary Romance by

Heather Mar-Gerrison

 

The One That Got Away

If I Can’t Have You

Like No Other

Summer Break (Summer Break series #1)

Too Easy to Pretend

Operation Boyfriend (Operation Boyfriend #1)

All Kinds of Trouble (Operation Boyfriend #2)

The Trouble with Tyler (Operation Boyfriend #3)

What Happens with Vegas (Operation Boyfriend #4)

 

True… Love (Riverside #1)

Tomas… Enchanted (Riverside #2)

Tatum… Undercover (Riverside #3)

Toby… Captivated (Riverside #4)

Trey… Unbelievable (Riverside #5)

Sam… Distracted (Riverside #6)

 

Peyton... Protected (Studs & Steel #1)

River... Redeemed (Studs & Steel #2)

Alfie... Abused (Studs & Steel #3)

Buzz... Bedazzled (Studs & Steel #4)

 

Looking out for Lorenzo

(A Studs & Steel Novella)

A Shoulder To Cry On

(A Studs & Steel Novella)

 

Coming Soon

 

 

Emilio… Enraptured (Riverside #7)

Riverside… The Weddings (Riverside #8)

 

 

Simon... Spellbound (Studs & Steel #6)

Seth... Saved (Studs & Steel #7)

Thai... Troubled (Studs & Steel #8)

 

Dangerous Love (A Studs & Steel Novella)

 

Summer Dreams (Summer Break #2)

Clean Break (Summer Break #3)

 

When Deanna Met Lincoln (Operation Boyfriend #5)

Misunderstood… Theo’s Fight For Love (Operation Boyfriend #6)

 

 

 

Heather also writes historical romance eBooks

 

The Duchess of Chittenden (Duchess #1)

Highway to Society (Duchess #2)

The Real Duke of Circhester (Brunswick #1)

Philip Brunswick is getting married (Brunswick #2)

 

Coming Soon

 

Matilda’s Escape (Brunswick #3)

An Unlikely Hero

The Lady and the Blacksmith

Rosy’s leap year

Gabriella’s unexpected proposal

The Other Son… (Duchess #3)

 

 

Check out my blog at https://www.heathermar-gerrison.blogspot.com for news of my upcoming books.

Follow me on Twitter: @hmgwriting

Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heather.margerrison.5

Follow me on Pinterest: https://uk.pinterest.com/heathemg

 

 

About the Author

 

I live in Nottingham, England with my lovely, long suffering and incredibly patient husband and my two beautiful daughters. We also have two cats that we adopted from the RSPCA, Bella and Romeo... and we have the beautiful Enzo, our Border Terrier...

When I’m not looking after a wayward puppy – I’m generally writing a book, any spare time I get between these two pursuits, you can either find me curled up with a good book that someone else wrote and a cat or a dog on my knee in place of the laptop, or I’ll be pottering about in the greenhouse, whilst plotting my next storyline in my head, muttering to myself like a crazy woman.... It’s not easy living with all the voices of my characters in my head!