Chapter 9
Diesel
After I watched Brynn leave, I had blasted out a text message to the guys that we needed to have another church meeting tomorrow. I knew I was running them ragged, but now that things were in motion with Brynn and myself, I had a promise to hold up on my end.
Motorcycles rumbled off in the distance and I smiled. It was my favorite sound in the fucking universe. A brotherhood coming together at the drop of a hat to piece their lives together and get their asses out of trouble. I thrived in environments like these. Where every second was determined by how cogs in a machine reacted to one another.
The door of the lodge burst open and it flooded with my men.
“So, what’s the verdict?” Rock asked.
“You really need to back up,” Brewer said. “You’ve been riding Diesel’s ass lately, and you need to stop.”
“He’s got that itch up his ass to protect his family like we’ve all got,” Grave said.
“How did the date with Brynn go, Diesel?” Knox asked.
I drew in a deep breath and turned around so I faced the men I called family. Though looking out into their faces and not seeing Mick stung. I didn’t feel sorry for his fate. In fact, I was glad he was dead. And I was glad Rock got to be the one to pump him full of bullets. But sometimes, in the blackest of night, I’d pull out pictures from when Mick was a prospect and I’d wonder where the fuck I went wrong with him. Where I’d betrayed him along the way or what signs I had missed.
I wondered if I was fucking up with Brynn, too.
“The date with Brynn went well,” I said. “And I talked with Dean. Everything’s on track and the Black Hornets voted this morning in a unanimous agreement to help us fix our shit. Which means all of us will have a meeting to fill them in on what’s going on.”
“So, you’re marrying Brynn,” Knox said.
“It seems that way, yes,” I said.
“How the fuck did you get her to say yes?” Knox asked.
“Wait, so you’re actually going to marry her?” Brewer asked.
“That was the deal,” Grave said. “So, you’re engaged or some shit?”
“Holy fuck, you guys. Diesel’s getting married,” Rock said.
“I mean, there are worse women to marry,” Knox said.
“Does that mean you’re gonna finally get your dick wet?” Grave asked. “Because you’ve been an uptight little bitch for a few months now.”
My eyes leveled with each of my men as I clasped my hands behind my back.
“Listen very carefully to what I have to say. Because I’m choosing my words wisely,” I said. “Brynn and I are engaged.”
“Yeah,” Grave said. “You just fucking said that.”
“No, no, no,” Knox said. “I get it.”
My eyes leveled with my comrade as a grin spread across my cheeks.
“You sneaky little shit.”
“What?” Grave asked.
“Oh. You’re engaged,” Rock said.
“Holy fuck, you’re good Diesel,” Brewer said.
“What the hell is everyone going on about?” Grave said.
“He’s agreed to marry Brynn,” Knox said. “You know, agreed, but not planned yet?”
Grave’s mouth finally opened as the reality dawned on him.
“Don’t say anything,” I said. “Just know I have it under control. Brynn and I are engaged, and things are on track. But our end of the bargain is we keep her safe. No matter what. So, if I can’t be with her, trust and believe I’ll be calling on one of you to take my place.”
“We’ll have our phones on us,” Rock said.
“So, does this mean we get to take you out and celebrate your pending nuptials?” Knox asked with a grin.
“Oh shit. Bachelor party. Hell yeah, we are,” Grave said. “Time to clear our schedule tonight and take our boy out!”
“I’ll need to run by and go check on Monroe before I do anything. It’s rough leaving her side when she’s this far along in her pregnancy,” Knox said.
“Oh, we won’t be going out until late,” Grave said. “The girls can get together at my place, if they want. Everly’s been itching to see them anyway.”
“If Monroe goes, you know she’ll crash there,” Knox said.
“And she’s always got a bed in my home, Knox. And Brewer? Rock? Let your women know them and their kids are welcome tonight. They can all keep one another company,” Grave said.
“Piper will be happy to hear that. She doesn’t have a lot of friends around here, so it’ll be nice to get her out and about. Especially since Ana and Gavin are around the same age,” Rock said.
“I’m pretty sure they’re in the same school around here,” I said with a grin.
“Hey. I’m getting on board with this whole dad thing, but I’m not there all the way yet,” Rock said.
“It’s an adjustment, but it gets easier,” Brewer said. “Sort of.”
I shook my head at them as a chuckle bubbled up my throat.
“So, girls and kids at my place while we go out for drinks?” Grave asked.
“Sounds like a plan,” I said.
I hung around the lodge for the rest of the day until the guys all gathered back to go out. Any excuse they had to party, they took. And I didn’t blame them for it. We were going through a shitstorm and didn’t have much time to spend as a unit. All of the backyard barbecues and throwing back beers hadn’t happened in almost a fucking year, and it seemed as if it had been even longer than that. So being able to go out with them and shoot the shit for a while seemed nice.
Especially after my date with Brynn.
It had killed me to buy her that ring. Because it was the perfect ring for her. In any other circumstance--in any other world--I would’ve gotten down on my damn knee and proposed to her right then. Watching her walk into that damn wing place and go toe-to-toe with me and my food exposed me to the harsh truth that had loomed over my head for well over a decade.
Not only had I loved Brynn then, but I still loved her now.
Calling her my fake fiancé cheapened it. Made it seem like a sham. When really, I would’ve given anything for it to be anything other than that. But I understood where Brynn was coming from and I got it. She wanted love. Romance. That one true destiny or some shit. And while I didn’t believe in any of that book-peddled romance, I did know what Brynn deserved. I also knew what she didn’t deserve. And what she didn’t deserve was to be forced to marry someone out of a deal and nothing else. She deserved her perfect wedding. Her dream man. Her restaurant. The life she wanted.
Her body language called to me that night. She was open to me. Open to the ideas and the possibilities. But just as quickly as she opened herself up, she shut herself down. Especially after giving her that ring. After passing by it in a jewelry shop that afternoon, I bought it on the spot. If she agreed to the engagement, I’d give it to her. And if she didn’t, I’d simply return it. Or gift it to her. The damn thing was practically made for her. It didn’t deserve to sit in a fucking window until dust collected on it.
It would be nice to get a drink with the guys and drown her frown out of my mind.
I led the guys into town and we ducked into our regular spot. When we took over Redding, the bar had been failing. It was run by an owner that didn’t give a shit about the look of it, the feel of it, or the employees working in it. So, we bought him out. Paid him one hundred thousand dollars to turn over ownership to us, and we fixed up the damn place. Got some decent chairs in there. Fixed the tiled flooring. Put in a bar that wasn’t particleboard and crumbling at the edges. Hell, Knox got his ass in there and put together a damn cocktail menu before training all the fucking bartenders that worked there.
Grave got into the kitchen and made up a little menu of really tasty shit, Brewer took care of the draft beer selection, and Rock promoted the damn thing until we filled it every night. It was a second source of legitimate revenue for us, outside of the mechanic shop, and it was a great place to hang out and celebrate.
We renamed it Skull and Bones, and we’d owned the damn thing ever since.
“A round of shots for the engaged man!” Grave exclaimed.
Everyone in the bar erupted into cheers as I shook my head.
“Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Wooo!”
The crowd cheered as all of us slammed back a flaming shot that was a specialty for the bar. All of us were passed the latest beer we put on tap a few weeks ago, chasing yet another shot back as we sat at the bar. I walked around and talked to the patrons. Shook their hands and made sure they didn’t need anything. And before I knew it, Knox was pouring another shot down my throat before pouring a beer down it to chase.
“To the man about to get married,” Rock said. “May you fuck her until all of Redding can hear her scream!”
“Yeah!” the guys exclaimed.
I shook my head and tossed back another beer as I leaned against the bar. The music struck up and everyone lit up their cigarettes. The bar grew smoky and earthy as the other patrons began to grind and flood the bathrooms for their quickies. I made sure we paid the bartenders well for nights like these. Because cleaning up come-stained bathroom floors deserved a livable wage as far as I was concerned. I felt good. Free. Lighter than I’d felt in a very long time.
I threw back five shots with five beers before I slowed myself down a bit.
The music roared and the cigarette smoke grew thick. It smelled like home, is what it smelled like. The guys were rowdy and shooting the shit. Arm wrestling and playing all sorts of idiotic games. We knew how to man up, but we also knew how to party down. And after killing one of our own in a shootout in the middle of the fucking woods, my men deserved a moment to unleash.
“Care for another one, handsome?”
I looked up at the bartender only known as ‘Candy’ before I grinned.
“I’m the engaged one, but sure. I’d like another,” I said.
“Well, congratulations. Who’s the lucky gal?” she asked.
She made me up another flaming shot before sliding it to me. I blew out the flame and tossed it back, growling at the burn as it seeped down my throat. My head spun. The room tilted. Fuck. I needed to stop myself before I got so drunk I ended up doing something stupid.
“Really?”
The sound of her voice ripped me from my trance. I looked over to my side and saw Brynn standing there, her arms crossed over her chest. Her engagement ring glistened in the lighting of the backlit bar, and I had to squint in order to keep my focus on her face.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
Not the right question to ask any woman. I knew that the moment the words left my lips.
Brynn scoffed and shook her head before she turned around to leave. And even though I went to reach for her, my reflexes were way too slow. She stormed by the guys as they held their hands up, their eyes full of mischievous delight as she pushed by all of them.
“Brynn!?”
I slid from the stool and stumbled on my feet. Damn it. Why the hell had I let the guys get me so damn drunk? And what the hell was Brynn doing here anyway? Had she come all this way to see me?
Why would she do that?”
“Brynn!”
But the second I heard the bar door slam, I knew it was her that had walked out. And I leaned onto every chair and stumbled into every table to try and go after her.
I would always go after her.
No matter how many times she walked away from me.