Chapter 14

Gaige tried to turn over an hour later and gasped. The motion tugged on his injury and had his eyes opening in a surge of unexpected pain. He didn’t make a noise, but he knew something wasn’t right.

Sitting up, he balanced his upper body on his elbows and glanced around the loft. It didn’t take long to spy Alec. He sat in a chair facing the bed.

Knowing he was there didn’t spare the surprise. Gaige jerked as he bit back a long string of profanity. “Damn, Alec. That’s creepy as fuck.”

“Sorry.” But he didn’t move.

This seemed weird even for Alec. “Are you okay?”

“Did I hurt you?”

Okay, weirdly sweet and, well, just plain weird. “You know I’ve done that before, right? You weren’t my first.”

Alec let out one of his stop-being-a-dumbass exhales. “I’m talking about your side, idiot.”

“Oh, right.” Gaige pressed his fingers against the injury. His skin felt warm to the touch, but not hot. This bruise would ache for a while, but it was just that. Not serious. “I forgot all about it when you were inside me.”

“Me too.”

Alec still hadn’t moved and Gaige wasn’t clear on the protocol here. Alec had seemed uncomfortable and twitchy about sharing the bed, so Gaige left. Now he…well, he didn’t know what this was.

He should probably say good night, go back to sleep and not mess up the good hours they’d shared. Should but wasn’t going to. He excelled at messing things up, and he was about to do the same here. Take a perfectly good sex-on-the-side relationship and make Alec completely uncomfortable.

But maybe there was more happening here. Not that he wanted more…hell, he didn’t know what he wanted. Alec did that to him. Took everything Gaige thought he knew and flipped it inside out. And not after months of knowing each other. No, it had been only a few days. That’s all it took.

Ignoring self-preservation and every promise he’d made to himself after his ex fucked him over, Gaige slipped his hand underneath the edge of the covers and flipped them back. “Want to join me?”

For a few seconds Alec didn’t say anything. In the low light, Gaige couldn’t even tell if he blinked. He didn’t shift or tell Gaige to go to hell.

Then Alec stood up. Gaige was sure he was going to lecture him on the sex rules again and go downstairs.

“Move over.” Without another word, he slid in beside Gaige. Shifted until their legs touched then he laid down.

In the quiet, Gaige just sat there. Alec had managed to stun him, and not many things did that anymore. Rather than fight it or fuck it up with a stupid comment, Gaige slipped down and rested his head on the pillow. When he turned onto his good side, Alec followed. He carefully wrapped an arm low on Gaige’s hips, away from the injury.

Alec’s warm breath blew across the back of Gaige’s neck. He felt comforted and secure, two sensations he hadn’t experienced since Jase left him. But he didn’t point that out. Didn’t say anything. Even bit back a sigh when Alec’s legs curled under his own.

“Stop thinking.” Alec pulled Gaige tighter against him.

Gaige almost laughed. “That sounds funny coming from you.”

“You need sleep.”

He did. They did. It had been a long evening. A nice dinner followed by near death. Even Seth might find that combination strange.

Despite the pain and the memory of those car lights aiming right for Alec, something else played on Gaige’s mind. A small moment but one that stuck with him. He knew he should let it go, but that wasn’t his style. He investigated and poked around until he found answers, no matter how much trouble he got into.

“I want to ask you something first.” He reached for Alec’s hand and held it, half thinking it would be harder for him to bolt if they were connected physically.

“Really? Now?”

“You asked for permission again.” Gaige tucked their joined hands against his chest. “Did you really not think you had it? I mean, you can kind of consider me a sure thing while I’m here.”

“I’ll always ask.”

That didn’t clear up the confusion. “Why?”

Alec didn’t respond. His breathing evened out and his arm grew heavy on Gaige’s hip.

The reaction could have been worse. Gaige had suspected that asking anything personal might tick Alec off, so the quiet treatment was a step up. Ignoring it seemed like an improvement over stomping off.

A few more minutes of silence passed and Gaige started to drift off. Alec’s body heat soothed him.

“Clarissa,” Alec said into the silence.

Gaige’s eyes popped open. “What?”

“We had a sister named Clarissa. The youngest.”

His tone changed until it was edged with pain. Gaige knew he didn’t want to hear more.

“She went off to college happy and vibrant. Smart, the smartest of all of us, and funny. A complete baby-sister pain in the ass.” Alec’s breathing sounded more labored now.

Gaige wanted to turn around. To tell him he didn’t need to explain. But part of him wondered if Alec needed to say the words out loud, like some sort of relief of the poison surging through him. No matter how harsh or ugly, if he needed to get it out Gaige would listen.

So, he waited. He brushed his fingertips over Alec’s arm trying to offer some comfort but stayed quiet.

Another minute or two passed before Alec spoke again. “She took a bottle of pills the day after she turned nineteen. It didn’t make any sense at first. She came home for the weekend and something seemed wrong. She was so quiet, almost as if she’d folded in on herself. She didn’t want to talk and refused to leave her room.”

Without the words, Gaige knew. The clarity made him ache for the entire Drummond family. “Alec…”

“My parents wouldn’t talk about it. They made excuses and blamed her friends. Insisted the school messed up. But Griff found her diary. We read it and knew she’d been raped by a guy she thought was her friend. The piece of shit made a video.” Alec’s arm tightened around Gaige.

“Jesus.” It was worse than Gaige imagined, and he knew it was awful.

He didn’t know what else to say. There really weren’t words for this.

“I was seven years older, her big brother and the oldest, and I couldn’t save her. I didn’t even know she needed me until it was too late.” Alec’s voice sounded muffled and a little lost. “Ten years and the memory of that day won’t go away.”

Gaige wanted to turn around. Hold him. Do something, but he decided to just let Alec talk. “I can’t imagine.”

“Finding her.” Alec rubbed his forehead against Gaige’s back. “Going up there, calling her name and getting ready to give her a hard time about her moodiness.”

Gaige closed his eyes and searched for the right words. Nothing came to him, so he lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of Alec’s.

“So, I’ll always ask.” The flat tone of Alec’s voice made it sound as if the life had been sucked right out of him. “I know it’s probably annoying.”

“It isn’t. You should do what you need to do.” Gaige wanted to ask about the word always because it suggested this was more than a one-and-done…and while the idea shook him it didn’t send him running either.

“Thanks.” Some of the tightness left Alec’s voice.

Was that relief? Gaige didn’t know. But he sensed this moment meant something. He wasn’t sure why he was the recipient of Alec’s trust, but he didn’t fight it. “What happened to the guy?”

“He’s dead.”

Gaige started to ask for details but Alec’s breathing had already changed. He’d fallen asleep or he was pretending. Either way, Gaige couldn’t imagine sleeping much tonight.