Nina:

Sunday morning, Maggie pays me a visit. “Spit it out,” she says bluntly. “You lied to me about Scott and Zane. When you came in to get takeout last Friday, you looked like you’d been crying, and you blew off Cassie’s party last Saturday as well as our lunch on Tuesday.” She settles down on my couch and fixes me with a stern look. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”

I roll my eyes. “Drama queen,” I tease my friend. “I know you have to be at work at one. I’m making coffee—do you want a cup?”

“Does it come with a side of the truth?” she asks pointedly.

Ouch. “Fine.” I hold up my hands. “I’ll tell you everything. Milk and two sugars, right?”

“Yes please.”

I make a pot of coffee. While it’s brewing, I tell Maggie what’s been going on. When I’m done telling her the entire story, I look at her helplessly. “I don’t have any other choice,” I say, my voice dull. “Sometimes, things just don’t work out.”

She snorts. “You,” she says, “are being ridiculous. And you accuse me of being a drama queen. Pot, meet kettle.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, stung. “Come on, Maggie. Let’s not be delusional here. On the one hand, Scott and Zane have a real chance at fame and glory. On the other hand, there’s hot sex. What do you think they’re going to pick?”

“I don’t know,” she replies. “I don’t know Scott and Zane, remember? Now, I will say that when they came into the restaurant, it was all ‘Remember that time Nina ate cashew chicken in London? She likes that. Let’s get that.’ For twenty minutes.”

Warmth spreads through me. They’d remembered that I adored Chinese food, and they’d made a real effort to get my favorite dishes.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” I say lamely.

“It proves they care about you,” Maggie replies. “But that’s not even the most important thing.” She frowns at me. “The most important thing is that this isn’t your decision to make.”

“Sure it is. I’m involved.”

“You’ve decided that you won’t leave the Merry Cockatoo and go on tour with them,” she says pointedly. “But you haven’t given them a chance to decide what they want to do. You’re going tell them that you want them to leave because you think they shouldn’t give up touring. And that, Nina, isn’t your decision to make. It’s theirs.”

“I want to protect them.”

She shakes her head. “You want to protect yourself,” she replies. “You’re afraid to put your heart on the line. You’re afraid to get hurt.”

She’s right. I am afraid.

I didn’t tell Scott and Zane why the MOMA was important to me. I didn’t tell them why I was leaving before I left, and now, I’m repeating that pattern for the third time.

I have to tell them what’s important to me. I see that now with crystal clarity. I have to trust that we’ll find a way to make things work.

I have to jump without a safety net and hope they’re around to catch me.

At five in the evening, I’m standing outside their door, my hand raised to press the doorbell when it opens. Zane emerges, holding a stack of empty pizza boxes in his hand. “Nina,” he says, an expression of pleasure filling his face when he sees me. “This is a nice surprise.”

My stomach is churning with nerves. “Did you have a party?”

“Jeremy and Andy came over, and the four of us watched some football. You just missed them. They left twenty minutes ago.”

I like Zane and Scott’s fellow band members. Unlike Chris, both men had gone out of their way to make me feel like I was part of the gang.

Speaking of the band manager, I’m kind of surprised he wasn’t part of the gathering. He was always around. “No Chris?”

He shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate. “We were going to call you,” he says instead. “You haven’t seen the Doctor Who Christmas special, right? Want to watch it with us tonight?”

Tell them why you’re here, Nina. Be honest with them. Tell them you don’t want to leave the bar, and you can’t go on tour with them.

But my resolve has weakened. Jeremy and Andy were here today. I doubt the two men drove three hours just to watch football. No, they were here on Evolving Whistle business, and when it comes down to it, I can’t get in the way of that.

What does Maggie know of risk? Her mother loves her; her brother treats her like a princess. Maggie’s father didn’t pick his second family over his daughter; my father did. Maggie can’t understand why I refuse to put myself in a position where someone will reject me once again, but I can.

“Sure,” I reply. “Doctor Who sounds great.”

* * *

Zane:

We watch the special, but my attention isn’t on the Doctor.

Tell her what you decided. Tell her what the band is going to do.

I can anticipate Nina’s next question. “What does Chris think of all this?” she might ask me. She has every right to be skeptical. Right before she left us, we told her we were taking a break from touring, and the very next thing she heard from Chris was that we’d booked additional dates.

I’m tempted to stay silent until we talk to our manager, but that’s not right either. Andy pointed out earlier today that we could have gone after Nina when she left, but we hadn’t. Had we followed her, we would have found out that Chris Muller was playing us against each other, manipulating us like puppets in his quest for fame and riches.

“Nina,” I say when the Christmas special is done. “Scott and I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” she asks, her expression guarded.

“Andy and Jeremy were here today to talk about the future of Evolving Whistle. We decided we need to focus on other things at the moment.” I don’t tell her about Andy’s fatigue, about Jeremy’s alcoholism—those things aren’t my secrets to divulge. “Like you.” My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for her to react.

“What does that mean?”

Scott answers before I can. “We’re retiring,” he replies. “If you’re okay with it, I thought I might buy your building, and open a concert space next door. Zane’s planning on working for his father’s company. And most importantly,” he says, “we want a second chance with you.”

She finally looks at us. “Are you sure?” Her voice is hesitant. “You love Evolving Whistle. Everyone seems to think that you’re going to land a major deal in the next six months.”

I roll my eyes. “I doubt it, Neen. As much as I want a record deal, I’m not holding my breath. I’d have better odds of winning the lottery.”

Honestly, I don’t even want it anymore. If a label knocked on our door tomorrow, I’d turn them down. Today’s conversation with my band made me see the real cost of our success. The dream lost its magic a long time ago.

“You’re not joking.” There’s a dawning wonder on her face. “You’re serious.”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life,” I tell her. “I lost you once, Nina. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” she says. She laces her fingers in mine and rests her head on Scott’s shoulder. “I want a second chance with you too.” Her lips curl into a wry smile. “And this time, I promise I’ll pay attention to rule two.”

Rule two—we play the game with honesty.

“It’s a good rule,” I say solemnly. “But this isn’t a game anymore, Nina. It never was.”

The grandfather clock in the living room strikes six at that moment, and Scott grins. “Well,” he says slowly, “I agree with Zane. Our relationship isn’t a game. However, we’ve only used three nights of our five. Maybe we play a little bit?”

She laughs. “What do you have planned?”

Scott gets to his feet. “Come on, Nina,” he says, holding his hand to her. “Let’s find out.”