The next morning, Zane bounced out of bed early—before my eyes were open—and I actually heard him singing in the shower. He didn’t even try to get laid first.

I’d never heard him sing in the shower before, but then again I wasn’t nearby for many of his showers, historically. Maybe he did this all the time? He was a singer, and he sounded pretty damn happy doing it.

And it was loud.

As I lay in bed, half-awake, he belted out “We Are The Champions” and hotel guests could probably hear it three rooms over.

I smiled to myself and cuddled into the pillow that smelled of him, my eyes still closed.

A little while later, I woke up again as Zane came out of the bathroom all refreshed and sparkling, smelling like freshly-showered rock god and delicious spiced bodywash. His damp blond hair was slicked back, a smile was on his face, and he was singing Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed” under his breath. I didn’t think he’d even noticed I was awake as I looked him over.

His faded jeans hung low on his hips but, unfortunately, he was wearing a shirt. It was a T-shirt with the sleeves and sides cut out though, so I could see his ribcage and waist, his sleek muscles shifting as he moved.

Yum. Would I ever get tired of gazing at him?

Nope. Not possible.

He strolled over to the couch, which I could see through the open doorway from the bedroom, and sprawled on it, picking up the room service menu. His eyes met mine and he stopped singing, that killer Viking smile of his splitting his face.

I smiled back.

“What do you want for breakfast, babe?”

I stretched lazily. “Whatever you’re having. With some fruit on it.” I dragged my ass out of bed and his gaze darkened, sliding down my naked body. I flung on a robe half-heartedly and wandered to the bathroom, yawning. “And whatever they have that’s chocolate. Lots of it.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me, but the grin never left his face.

I half-expected him to follow me into the shower. Okay, three-quarters-expected. But not so.

When I reemerged about forty-five minutes later, my hair washed, dried and smoothed straight and makeup on, he had our breakfast all set up on the coffee table, the fake fire glowing in the fireplace and real candles lit. And fresh flowers.

I stopped to admire the pretty, all-pink arrangement, a mix of tulips, frilly carnations, miniature roses, alstroemeria and other stuff I didn’t even recognize.

Zane was sitting on the floor in front of the fire, his back against an armchair, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. His bare toes twitched with excited energy and there was a definite sparkle in his eyes. He had a pen in his hand and one of his writing notebooks in his lap, open to a page where he appeared to be jotting notes or writing song lyrics or something.

How many times had I seen him writing in one of his notebooks like that?

It always made me happy.

“You’re in a great mood,” I remarked, somewhat warily.

He just grinned.

“Please tell me you’re not on something.”

I was teasing; I didn’t really think he was. But I was feeling pretty anxious myself.

He gave me a look that was somehow reproachful while still smiling. “Can’t a guy be happy?”

“And you’re happy because…?”

“Because we’re finally gonna tell everyone about us.”

“Oh, yeah…” I whispered, my voice fading. “That.”

Last night, before and after all the hot sex, we’d definitely come to an agreement that we were both in this for keeps—and we were telling everyone exactly that. I’d told him I was finally ready. And I was. Kinda. Mentally.

But I still didn’t totally feel ready.

I definitely didn’t feel as twinkly about it as he clearly did.

His eyes narrowed at me a fraction. “Yeah, that. Which means I can officially start groping you in public now. And telling dudes who get in your face to fuck the hell off, instead of having Jude do it for me.”

“Oh. Well… congratulations?”

“Thank you. There’s champagne if you want it.” He gestured at the table, where there was indeed a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice, as well as a large bottle of sparkling mineral water and two champagne flutes. Then he returned his attention to his notebook, jotting something down. “Been waiting a long time for this day, Maggs…” he muttered.

Well, that was incredibly sweet.

I melted all over just watching him there by the fire. His hair had dried and pieces of it were drifting over his face. And I wanted to touch him.

But somehow I felt all stiff and strange and couldn’t seem to move my feet, either to go over to him and cuddle into his lap, or to go get dressed.

“Yeah,” I said quietly, just standing in the middle of the room. “Me, too.”

I had been waiting for this day. Maybe not in the same way that he had, but in my own way. It still hadn’t quite sunk in, though, that this day had actually come. It still felt surreal.

And scary.

“I mean, I’m glad this is happening,” I told him, my voice barely above a whisper as he glanced up at me. “With you. I mean… you and me.” I cleared my throat, which suddenly felt tight.

The grin spread across Zane’s beautiful face, and I almost had to look away. In the past, I would have. I would’ve avoided his joy because it made me uncomfortable, for so many reasons.

Now, I just looked at him.

My husband.

My dear friend.

The love of my life.

I swallowed, and before he could say anything to make me do something stupid like cry, I said, “Just let me tell my dad first, okay? I made a big deal about it being a secret and telling him he broke my trust. It’s only fair I tell him what’s going on. I’ll call him this morning.”

At that, Zane’s face changed. For the first time this morning, a dark cloud passed over his features. Unfortunately, this was the way he usually looked when I mentioned my dad. His smile vanished. His jaw spasmed as whatever dark thought rolled through his head… though he managed to keep it to himself.

Instead, he said, “You still love him.”

“You know me.” I gave him a shaky smile. “I’m stubborn that way.”

He considered that, then put his notebook and pen aside as he got to his feet. He came over and drew me into his arms, gently. He tucked my head under his chin and held me, and I leaned into him, just relishing his strength and his warmth and his stillness as his heart beat against me.

“You’re always gonna love him,” he muttered, almost to himself. “I’ll just have to get used to it, I guess, and suppress my murderous urges.”

“Would you, please? For me?”

“Yeah, babe. I can do that. Only for you, though.” He kissed the top of my head, and it felt so good, the warmth of that gentle touch radiating through me.

I hugged him tight and whispered, “I’m always gonna love you, too.”

He squeezed me back. “I fucking hope so.”

“Put it this way.” I peeked up into his blue eyes. “You’re never gonna fuck up as bad as he has, right?”

A small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t think that’s possible, Maggie.”

“You’re right,” I agreed. “It’s not.”

* * *

As soon as I’d gotten dressed and we’d sat down to breakfast, Zane wanted to know the plan.

“The plan?” I asked him blankly.

“Yeah.” His eyes bore into mine. “You said you’re gonna call Dizzy this morning. But what about everyone else? The band, friends, the public… How do you want to roll this out, and when?”

I blinked at him. “Uh…”

“And just so we’re clear, today is the right answer to that question.”

“Oh. Well, thank you for letting me know.” I tried to give him a dirty look but failed. I was pretty sure it was the first time in history that Zane wanted to know “the plan” about something before I’d even begun to figure it out. It was pretty damn cute. “You know, you’re cute when you’re getting organized.”

“Don’t try to change the subject. Won’t work.”

I sighed. “Yeah. I suppose we can discuss it…”

“When?”

“Well… I’m assuming from the look on your face that the right answer to that question is… Now?”

“You assume correctly. So who’re we telling first? After Dizzy.”

I took a breath and considered that. “I think… I really owe Brody the respect of telling him first. Like maybe I could meet with him alone, and let him know what’s happening? We’ll need to bring the publicists up to speed, but we should really schedule a phone meeting for that. I’ll see what Brody has to say about it. And you should really give Dolly a call so she doesn’t have to find out through the media.”

“Dolly knows,” he said.

“What?”

“I told her.” He blinked his blue eyes at me. It was a rather innocent look, given that the man didn’t do innocent looks. “Last year. I’ve been talking to her about it all along. What?” He shrugged at the look on my face. “You can’t expect me not to tell Dolly. It’s Dolly.”

I took that in… and once I got over the initial shock of it, I sighed and gave in, because he was right. Dolly was not only Zane’s grandma but the woman who’d raised him and the only family he had. And he definitely had a way different relationship with her than I had with my father. Much closer. I was pretty sure, from what I’d witnessed over the years, that Zane told Dolly everything. Right down to the dirtiest details of his nastiest sexploits.

The woman probably knew far more than she’d ever wanted to know about her beloved wild-child of a grandson.

God knew I knew more about Zane’s sex life, pre-me, than I’d ever wanted to know.

“Okay. So you can update Dolly. And then we can tell the rest of the band and close friends together. Maybe get everyone together for dinner tonight?”

“Sounds great.”

He eyed me closely as I nibbled at my breakfast. He’d ordered me the same as his; egg white omelette loaded with vegetables, lean ham on the side, and mine had an added bowl of fruit.

And two chocolate brownies that I was pretty sure I would’ve eaten first if he wasn’t here to see it. Because right now, I was so nervous I could’ve eaten a giant chocolate cake—myself. I was under no illusions that one of the brownies was for Zane, anyway; he didn’t care much for sweets, and he’d definitely ordered them for me.

Which was why I was married to the man, right? If this didn’t make him husband material, I didn’t know what did.

Almost made up for the whole manslut thing.

I smiled at him anxiously.

“Why are you so nervous, Maggs?” he asked, reading my mind.

“Because,” I said carefully. “I’m scared.” I sipped my sparkling water. I didn’t want to waste the champagne he’d paid for, but I really didn’t feel good about drinking in front of him these days. I’d have to give it to Katie later.

“Scared? Why?” he demanded. “Still?”

“Yes. Still. I mean, my fears weren’t gonna just magically evaporate overnight.”

As he stared at me, I realized that was exactly what he’d thought would happen. Or hoped would happen.

“You know,” I added, trying to soften that in case it made him feel bad, “it’s like I’ve told you before. I don’t really think of myself as a fearful person. Heights, spiders, horror movies… whatever. I just don’t have any weird phobias about scary stuff—”

“How about clown dolls?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Uh, no.”

“No? So… that time we were in the toy store picking out gifts for baby Nick, and that clown doll with the acid-trip eyes made you scream… you weren’t scared?”

“That doesn’t count. It jumped on me from the shelf.”

“Pretty sure it fell.”

“And I didn’t scream.”

“Oh yes, you did. Like Ned Flanders.”

“Anyway,” I said. “Like I was saying. I don’t scare easily. But when it comes to this… I don’t know, Zane… My bones feel kinda mushy and I see spots. Honestly… I’ve never been so scared of anything in my life.”

“Spots?”

“Yeah. Like these dark spots kinda float around and I feel like I might pass out.” Zane stared at me, searching my face, like he might be able to see these dark spots if he tried hard enough. “But hey, at least I don’t pass out, right?”

“If you do,” he said, still eying me, “I’ll try to catch you before you crack your head open on something.”

“Thanks. That’s sweet.” I swallowed, picking at my food. I’d definitely been picking at it more than eating it.

“Babe.” He reached to take my hand in his. He ran his thumb over my knuckles, exactly the way he’d smoothed it over my wedding ring when we’d stood together at the altar. “Tell me why you’re so scared.”

“Well…” I cleared my throat again and looked into his eyes. “Maybe because I’ve never cared this much about anything in my life?”

His eyes scanned my face again, like he was trying to assess the truth in that. “Never?” And I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking about my job, how obsessive and serious I was about it.

But the fact was, a good chunk of the reason for that was… well… him.

Besides—stupidly—wanting to impress my dad, I’d also always wanted to please Zane.

“Never,” I told him. “I don’t want to lose you, Zane.” I looked down at his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.” He touched my chin and tipped my face toward his so our eyes met again. “If I know one thing that’s true beyond all other things, Maggie Omura, it’s that you’re never gonna lose me.”

I absorbed that, nodding. “We should eat,” I said, too nervous to really enjoy the romance in what he’d said. “I should, uh, get to that phone call. As soon as I’m done with my dad, I’ll meet up with Brody, okay? And I’ll organize a dinner for tonight. Somewhere nice where we can get a big table in a private room or something.”

“Sounds perfect.”

I looked at my plate, but the beautifully prepared breakfast didn’t look so appetizing anymore.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Actually, I feel like I might be a little sick. Like… is it okay if I throw up a bit?”

“Sure, babe. Whatever you’ve gotta do.”

“Is this how you feel before you go onstage?”

“No.”

“Stop smiling.”

I could hear it in his voice, even though I wasn’t looking at his face.

“I can do all the talking, Maggie,” he offered, gently. “You don’t even have to say anything. All you have to do is sit there and look gorgeous.”

I looked at him. His eyes were twinkling a little again—this time, amused and sympathetic. I couldn’t even help smiling back. But my stomach churned with nerves.

And I realized there was another reason I was so nervous.

I didn’t want to let Zane down. I’d promised him we were doing this, and I really didn’t want to fuck it up or somehow hurt him… ever again.

“No,” I said. “It should come from me. I feel like it has to come from me. I’m the one who made you wait this long. I’m the one who made us both lie to everyone for so long and keep this secret.”

“You had your reasons. It’s not all on you, Maggie.”

“Yeah. But I need to be the one to break the silence.”

He held my gaze, and I tried to convey my conviction and dedication to this, even as my stomach rolled. “If that’s how you want it to be.”

“That’s how I need it to be.”

“Okay.” He squeezed my hand. But he didn’t even try to kiss me—like he understood that it would distract me from eating, and in order to get through this day, I really needed to eat.

Then he put on some music. It was Guns N’ Roses, “Think About You.”

We ate the rest of our breakfast without a word. And I managed to keep mine down… even when Zane kept smiling at me.

* * *

The next time I saw my husband, I was walking into the private dining room I’d booked in a restaurant near our hotel.

We’d both had a busy day. Him with promotional work, and me with trying not to hyperventilate every time I thought about the two of us being together, for real, out in the open… and calculated the odds of either of us somehow screwing it up.

Zane was already seated at the table. It was a long, wide table, and there were two place settings at the head of the table where he sat. One setting for him… and one, the only one at the table that wasn’t yet taken, obviously for me.

I sat down next to him without a word. I would’ve been on time or early, as usual, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’d had what I figured was my first legit anxiety attack in the ladies’ room on the way in. Heart pounding, cold sweats, and the overwhelming desire to climb out the window.

But I’d gotten past it.

Zane kissed me on the cheek, though I didn’t think anyone particularly noticed. No one seemed to notice anything was out of the ordinary, even though he was being all glittery about me sitting next to him. He was flashing his panty-wetting smiles all over the place, and everyone else seemed to be in a great mood too.

It was already loud in the room. The table was set for sixteen people, and it was now full. Every member of Dirty was here along with their partners. Brody, whom I’d met with privately this afternoon, just like I’d told Zane I would, was here with Jessa. Jude, Roni, Alec and Talia were here, and I’d also invited Shady.

As far as everyone in the room knew, this was just a regular Dirty dinner party on a Thursday evening. A dry dinner party; in honor of Zane, there wasn’t a drop of booze in the room. In order to make sure everyone showed up, I’d told them we were going to have a little nonalcoholic toast to acknowledge that Zane had been clean for two months.

For a little while, I chatted with Katie about… what? I had no idea. I was just kinda running on autopilot and hoping no one would notice how unusually sweaty I was.

Then, as soon as the food had been ordered, Zane put his hand on my thigh under the table and squeezed. But it definitely wasn’t a trying-to-slip-his-hand-under-my-short-dress squeeze. More of a Can-we-do-this-now? squeeze.

He was excited. Every time I looked at him, I could see it. The twinkle in his blue eyes… The little grin that never left his face. I could feel it emanating off of him like invisible rock star glitter.

He glanced at me now and I rolled my eyes.

He just grinned bigger.

Then he picked up his water glass and started clinking his rings on the side of it, until everyone somewhat quieted down. When that didn’t totally work, he got to his feet and shouted out, “EVERYONE! SHUT IT. Jesse Mayes, that means you.”

Everyone stopped talking and finally gave Zane their full attention. Even Jesse.

Zane offered me his hand and helped me to my feet, which was good, because I was feeling a little unsteady in my heels.

“Maggie and I have something to say,” he announced.

He let go of my hand and waited for me to speak.

“Right,” I said, my voice about as wobbly as my knees. “First of all, thank you all for being here on time and everything. I mean, I know you all have other stuff to do and it’s nice we can all, uh, get together. And as you know, I wanted to acknowledge Zane and how amazing he’s been doing… I mean, he’s been clean for over two months now. Sixty-six days, to be exact. Totally clean, and… I’m really proud of him. So, I thought we could have a little dry toast. To Zane Traynor.”

It wasn’t the word’s greatest toast. I fumbled my way through it, definitely feeling less-eloquent than usual, but oh well. The backs of my knees were all clammy and my heart was hammering pretty hard, too.

I had no problem giving orders and telling people what to do on a daily basis. But having to stand up and speak in front of a bunch of people I cared about, about personal stuff?

I felt mildly petrified, like the world’s creepiest clown doll had just attacked my face.

I lifted my glass and so did everyone else, and a bunch of people called out supportive comments like, “We love you, Zane!”

I glanced at him; he was staring at me, and he looked pretty astonished, actually. He had no idea I was going to do this.

“To Zane,” Brody said from the other end of the table, where he was sitting with Jessa. I caught Jessa’s eye, and she smiled at me.

“To Zane,” everyone said, and they clinked glasses.

I clinked my glass to the two people closest to me—Katie, who was seated beside me, and Shady, who was on the other side of Zane. Then I raised my glass to Zane himself, and he touched his glass to mine. “Proud of you,” I whispered to him.

The sparkle in his eyes shifted in the candlelight… from surprised and joyful to proud and touched. Then we all took a sip of our nonalcoholic drinks.

Zane’s blue eyes stayed on me, and I knew he was waiting for me to say that other thing….

“Oh… and, uh, before you all get talking again…” I said, holding everyone’s attention, “there’s something else.”

I set my glass down and took a deep breath. Everyone was staring at me. I felt Zane next to me, solid and still. I could feel the warmth coming off his arm. We weren’t even touching, but if felt like they all knew anyway. We were standing so damn close.

Even though Brody and I had discussed it today, it was somehow still totally nerve-wracking, standing up here, preparing to tell them all about us. I’d been candid with Brody about my fears, about the risk I knew I was taking; that I knew I’d probably have to leave Dirty if things between Zane and I didn’t work out. He’d said he understood, but assured me absolutely nothing regarding my job was going to change, and if I ever left, it would be my choice—not because anyone was ever going to ask me to leave.

But it still felt awkward.

I feared their judgment, their doubt, and their response to this. And I really didn’t want to cause drama or be the center of attention.

I just had to do this anyway. For Zane, and for me.

For us.

“Zane and I just… uh… wanted to let you all know that… well…” My voice kinda faded out on a little squeak.

Fuck.

How was I supposed to do this?

Just rip the bandage off, Maggie. You can do it.

Well, shit. Why can’t you be here for this, Mom?

I looked down the table at all the familiar faces, everyone waiting for me to speak, but I couldn’t quite see their eyes.

Tell them already. Give them a chance to be happy for you.

But what if they’re not, Mom?

They will be.

But how do you know that?

Because they love you like I do.

My vision was getting a little wobbly. Dark spots… And all I could see clearly was Brody’s face at the end of the table. He gave me a nod, and I blinked.

“We’re together,” I blurted out, my voice filling the silence. “We’ve been together, sort of, for a while now, and we’ve had some ups and downs, but we just want it to be clear that we’re together now.”

Silence.

“I mean, we’re a couple.” Wasn’t sure why I felt the need to clarify that, but there it was.

No one said anything. A few of the guys looked at Zane, like they were waiting for him to say something.

Then Jesse raised his hand, slowly, like he wanted to speak, until Katie noticed and snatched it back, shoved it in her lap—and sealed her hand over his mouth.

“We’re married,” I went on, my voice cracking a little, kinda like it did at the altar when I said I do. Jesus, there were so many eyes on me… “Husband and wife. And that’s how it’s going to be.”

Oh my God, I’m dying.

I could feel the heat creeping up into my face as I turned that special shade of red that a girl with my skin tone should never turn. They all just kept staring at me, and even though the dark spots were dancing over my vision and I couldn’t seem to focus on anyone in particular, I could feel the raised eyebrows and the smirks.

I cleared my throat.

“That’s all. Thank you.”

I smoothed my dress to sit down, feeling so stiff I wasn’t sure I could hinge enough at the waist to get my ass into my seat. I threw a desperate glance at Zane, who kinda snorted with suppressed laughter, then grabbed me before I could sit down.

He laid a kiss on me so hard it almost knocked me over—would have, if he wasn’t already cradling me in his arms, dipping me way-low while he mauled my mouth.

In front of everyone.

People started applauding and making rude noises. I heard some girly cheering and someone shouted “Get a room!” but it was kinda fuzzy and far away, like I was underwater or something… as I kissed Zane right back. And everyone else in the room just kinda disappeared.

The spots cleared, replaced with a different kind of blurred vision as the heat cranked up between us, and Zane held me tight against his hard body. Then he pulled his mouth away from mine with a grin and I gasped for air, as discreetly as I could.

He stood me back up, holding me tight against him.

He grinned down the table at our friends, who were clapping and whistling. It was pretty damn loud, and everyone seemed to be getting to their feet as the blood thumped in my head.

“That’s all I have to say,” Zane shouted over the ruckus, and then he sat down in his seat like a king, taking me with him. He pulled me into his lap and I buried my face in his neck, hiding my tomato-red face. “It’s alright, babe,” he murmured in my ear. “You did good.”

Then I felt a hand on my back that wasn’t Zane’s. I peeked up to find Katie standing over me, smiling and bouncing up-and-down, waving me into her arms. There were tears in her eyes.

Zane let me go as I got up and hugged her. I clung to her, actually, as she whispered, “Are you happy?”

“Yes,” I practically sobbed back. All my emotions were twisted up and amplified, like everything Zane and I had been through was coming together in this one beautiful, embarrassing moment.

“Oh my god, Maggie,” Katie gushed in my ear, “I’m so happy for you!”

I groaned in pain. “Is this what it’s like for you? Everyone staring all the time…?” I saw people lining up behind her to hug me; Jessa and Amber and Talia… as the guys piled in on the other side to congratulate Zane.

“Pretty much.” Katie laughed and gave me a final squeeze of reassurance. “Or staring at my husband. But you know what? You get used to it.”

Sweet Jesus, I hoped so.