He’s watching me, those demons hidden and that black suit riveted to his body.

“Take it off and get in. You’ll love it.”

It’s hot. So I know he must be sweating.

“There could be crocodiles in there. Fuck that.”

I laugh at him. “You’re safe, nothing’s eaten me yet. So get in.”

He shrugs his shoulders then starts to remove his jacket, followed by his shirt. As the buttons come undone, my breathing becomes hard and fast. His shirt drops to the ground, and his perfectly tanned and toned skin is on full display. He touches the hem of his trousers then pulls them down, so all he has on is a pair of boxer briefs.

I have to go under the water because I can’t watch him any longer. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I go under. He says my name just before I do, but that doesn’t stop me. When I come back up, he’s got the rope in his hands and is watching me with that perfect body of his on display.

“Just jump?” I nod my head, unsure if I can even form any more words while watching his form.

“Speechless Saskia?” He’s smiling at me. He knows his near nakedness is making me uncomfortable. Why did I have to choose here? It was close and easy, that’s why. I like to come here and try to jump and twist as high as I can. The adrenaline, I love it when it kicks in.

‘Jump,’ I scream in my head, and he does it. He swings out, almost the height I get up to, then lets go, falling into the water. He comes up for air, and there’s only a few inches between us. I tread water, watching him.

“You come here a lot?”

I nod my head. “Among other places.”

He floats onto his back, looking up to the sky. The sun is high but hidden behind all the trees. It’s the most perfect place.

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“In this place?” I ask him, confused.

He drops under the water then comes back up for air. His hair slicked back from the water, his eyes ever so dark.

“With you.”

That hurts, more than it should.

“You should leave then.”

“I want to, I really fucking do. I shouldn’t be around you. It’s too dangerous.”

This time it’s my turn to go under then come back up for air. When I do, he’s closer to me, his face inches from mine making me lose my breath, which is weird considering I can breathe now.

“I really shouldn’t fucking be here, Barbie.”

I don’t blink, my eyes somehow don’t move. They stay locked on him, and I do nothing as he reaches forward, his lips coming toward mine.

Wanting to pull away and actually doing it are two different things. A small part wants me to draw away, the other is screaming with nerves. His lips full and lush touch mine, and my breath, stealing his own breath into mine. It fills my lungs as I manage to move my lips against his. We tread water, but I feel his hand come on my hip, steadying me in place as he takes control of the kiss while he takes control of me. He doesn’t disappoint. If kissing’s like this for everyone, why doesn’t everyone kiss all day every day?

His kiss is like something out of those magical books that you read in school.

How the prince steals the heart of the princess with just one kiss.

He could steal my heart with his lips alone.

Brushing his tongue against mine, I moan into his mouth. He pulls away, pushing himself back in the water, and my eyes open in time to see the expression on his face.

Anguish.

Distress.

Pain.

Did I cause him pain?

Was I a shit kisser?

Why would he pull away like that?

“We can’t do that.”

His voice is full of lies.

Ryken did that.

He kissed me.

I would never act on what I want. I’m not even sure it is what I want. It’s as if he’s opened up a part of me I didn’t know existed. Ones I’m not really sure I can keep locked away. I want more of that. Way, way more of it.

“Was I bad?”

He looks at me and shakes his head, laughing. His hand rubs through his perfect wet hair pushing it back, making his bicep bulge with the movement, his lips pulling into a thin line. The same ones that kissed me mere seconds ago.

“No. Fuck no. You... nope.” He turns looking toward the bank. “You’ll be the fucking death of me, that’s why we can’t do that again.” He swims toward the edge of the water, and I quickly try to catch up to him. Before he leaves, I touch his shoulder, stopping him. He pauses, not turning around. My hands start moving, running ever so slowly along his shoulder, down his back to his other shoulder. His skin is so perfect and so tanned.

“Stop it, Barbie. Fucking stop it. Or I’ll take you right here.”

My hand pauses on him, then moves again. It’s a choice I don’t really think about as I move my hand, knowing what’s to come. Or will it?

He moves fast, turning and lifting me in one fell swoop. My legs go around his waist. My heart beats loudly and slams against my chest and onto his chest. His hands gripping my ass, his fingers digging into my flesh. Then his mouth comes back to mine, and my hands trail him. My heart returns to beating not slamming, and this time I kiss him the way he kissed me to begin with—with lips and tongue. He kisses me like he can’t get enough of me, and I kiss him like I can’t find my breath, and the only way to find it again is to kiss it from him. He moves, walking while he holds me until we’re both out of the water, and he lays me down so my back hits the cold ground, the dirt hits my skin. Ryken hovers over me while I stay hooked on him.

“Barbie... Barbie... whatever shall I do with you?”

I want to tell him to kiss me some more. That is until I feel him press between my legs and a very welcome sensation comes over me.

Desire.

For him.

His lips trail my neck, and he licks a path to my ear then bites it. Pulling my lobe between his teeth while I push my body as close to him as possible.

“What about Livia.” I regret the words the minute they leave my mouth. He pulls away from me so our bodies aren’t touching and my feet finally hit the ground. Sitting up so I can see him clearly, I suddenly feel... dirty. He ignores me and starts pulling on his shirt, followed by his trousers. Then he turns to look at me. I’m still in the same spot on the ground, watching him, waiting for a reply. Or for him to tell me it doesn’t matter. That they aren’t a thing. “You’re leaving?”

He picks up his shoes, hanging them in his hand as he looks to me. “My head... is fucked. I can’t, and shouldn’t be here.” My head hangs down. “I’m surrounded by dangerous people, Barbie. You should stay far away from me if you know what’s good for you. Livia is safer. She’s the safer option. Plus, she’s good to me.” I nod my head. “I shouldn’t have... I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry.” A manic laugh bubbles up from my throat. “Fuck off, Ryken.” My eyes are hard as I look up at him, tears threatening to leak out, but anger takes over. He stands there watching me. “Fuck off.”

Ryken steps away and looks back once as he makes his way to where his car is out front of my trailer. I stand in the same spot waiting to hear the engine I know will rev and speed off before I make my way back.

Stepping onto my steps, I turn to see his red car not far down the road. Stopped. Flipping him the bird, I walk inside, slamming the door shut and trying to breathe. Because as he ripped his lips from mine, he also took my breath with him.

Fucking bastard.

***

ROBERT’S BEEN TRYING to get me to go to a party all day. I managed to get out of it last night. Tonight, though, he’s at my door with his car keys in hand and a smile on his face. Shutting the door on him, he tries to push it back.

“Nope, not happening.”

“Come on, don’t be a bitch.”

Letting the door go, he comes in despite my protests. All day Friday, after the kiss, I stayed in my bed unable to move. This is the first time I’ve moved from bed today. Trying to work out what happened on Friday, and why it happened, still confuses me and caused my depression to hit me head on. When I get overwhelmed or guilty, I get irrational and withdraw from everything. Unable to concentrate, I find staying in bed soothes my mind until I’m able to come back to real life again.

“You look like shit.”

Sitting on the couch with the sheet from my bed wrapped around me, he sits down next to me. “Livia asked me to come collect you.”

Rolling my eyes, I pull the sheet up over my face, biting on it.

“What did Livia do? Love herself a bit too much.”

“Ryken kissed me.”

Robert doesn’t say anything, making me pull the sheet away from my eyes so I can see his expression. His face is in shock, his mouth is hanging open, and there’s definitely wrinkles on his forehead. It’s the first time I’ve seen him speechless.

“Speak Robert, you’re making me nervous.”

He shakes his head, closing his mouth. “Um... he was with her last night. Aren’t they a thing?”

I shrug my shoulders. “He came here from his mother’s funeral on Friday. It kind of just happened.”

“So he left here after kissing you, got shit faced, and is now with your cousin Livia. Did I get that right?”

“I’m a shitty person, go on, just say it.”

“You love her, yet you like him. Which you should have damn-well told her.”

“Do you think that would have stopped her?” I ask him, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

He laughs. “No. Nothing stops Livia. That’s why she’ll be the best damn lawyer this town has ever seen.”

He’s right. When she wants something she goes for it. That’s part of the reason I love her. She’s the most determined woman I know, and I adore that quality in her. But I’m also jealous of the way she is with guys.

I get it now, I really do. That high. Do you get that from all the guys? Or was it just Ryken that made me lose my breath and train of thought, so he was the only person I thought about.

“I’m an awful, awful girl.” As I pull the sheet back over my head, Robert laughs.

“Okay awful girl, we won’t do the party, but can we please go out and get some food.”

Nodding my head but not moving, Robert pulls the blanket away from my head. “I’ve heard things about him. I don’t think it’s a smart idea for you to get involved with him anyway.”

Closing my eyes, I can still smell him, that intoxicating scent he left all over me.

“Find someone who isn’t dangerous, Sass. Find someone who isn’t him.”

Opening my eyes, I can see the seriousness in his eyes, feel it in his words.

“If it were only that easy.” Pushing up, I stand, turning to go to my room to change. The clothes I wore from Friday are still on the floor from the lake.

“It is. Ignore him. Maybe say yes to Stiles when he asks you again.”

Stiles is popular, even Robert has a crush on him. He’s gorgeous and smart. But he doesn’t make my heart lose a beat the way Ryken does.

“No more boy talk tonight.” Pulling on my skirt, Robert salutes me then offers me his hand. I pocket my cell, and he takes me out.

But it doesn’t work.

Because the minute I walk into the restaurant with Robert...

He’s there, with her.