It was a few weeks since the evening dinner and the last time I’d been alone. I didn’t know why, but lately, Paul was distant from me.

I took the residency test, passed it and was scheduled to be in his department in a week. But Paul didn’t so much as bat an eye about it. I was starting to worry that there was something bigger going on.

And little Dylan…

Paul never seemed to need a babysitter these days.

I found myself replaying everything that happened the last time I was alone with Paul. Did I say something stupid? Did that Lorrie bitch have anything to do with his sudden change in behavior? All of the sudden he wasn’t Paul to me anymore. He was just “Dr. Gray”.

Honestly, I had enough of it. I spent all day pacing around the hallway outside of his office debating my next move. Enough was enough.

I nearly barged into his office and closed the door behind me. I wasn’t trying to seem forceful, but the last few days left me so uneasy, I didn’t know how else to react.

“Paul, can we talk?”

Not even budging from his paperwork to look at me, he nodded his head.

“What’s going on between us? There’s something up here. Are you okay?”

He dropped the pen on his desk and rubbed his temples. His normally handsome, chiseled face was strained with the look of stress.

“Everything is fine April, don’t worry about it.” He knew I wasn’t going to settle for that and I leaned in closer to him placing my hands rigidly on his desk. He glanced up at me and his eyes were as blue as he was probably feeling. I wanted to make that feeling go away. I hated to see him like this.

Paul pushed his chair back and walked over to his office door, locking it tight and closing the blinds.

He leaned into my body and cupped my cheeks, taking them into a deep kiss.

“Isn’t it time for office hours? What if someone comes?” The feeling of his soft skin on mine as his mouth curled up into a sly smile drove me wild.

“Office hours are strictly for April Madison right now.”

He kissed me again and trailed the soft touches up to my forehead. “Listen April, some things have been going on with me right now and I don’t want my trash to come scraping your way. Maybe I didn’t handle any of this right.” He held his head down and I lifted it right back up by his chin.

“I think it’s time we talk about what it is exactly that we even have here. I’m mean what are we Paul?” I placed my hands at my side and waited for his answer.

“Look, I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m falling for you and that this is serious but…” Why was he trying so hard to avoid eye contact with me? Why couldn’t he just look me in my face?

“But what Paul??”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want anything to hurt you. Is that so fucking bad?” He backed away from me and exhaled sharply. Maybe he was getting annoyed but he wasn’t the only one that had feelings that mattered.

“It’s not bad, but I don’t need you hiding shit from me either. What part of that don’t you understand! You need to explain to me what’s going on with Lorrie. As long as you keep me in the dark about her, this relationship is going nowhere.”

“I’m not listening to this shit anymore April. I don’t have to explain anything to you! Good fucking riddance…” With one last outburst, he grabbed his keys and stormed out the door.

Just like that.

I was standing in his office alone and confused.

It took me a minute, but I walked out accepting that it was probably over between me and Paul. Or at least, we’d be on a very long hiatus. I walked through the med school parking lot, to my car.

There was that long bed of brown hair again, standing right next to my car.

“Lorrie? Can I help you with something?” She was the last person I wanted to see right now.

“Hi there April. No, you can’t help me with anything. But I can help you actually.” She leaned her arms in to give me a hug and I gave her one, begrudgingly. I had already made my mind up about Lorrie. She was strange and untrustworthy. And somehow wherever she was, trouble was not too far behind her.

“Help me? I don’t need help with anything. I’m actually trying to get home, so if you’ll excuse me.” I tried to nudge past her to get into my car but she blocked the doorway. A knowing smile made its way across her face.

“It’s about Paul Gray, isn’t it? He seems to have gotten you all worked up little lady.”

“…”

“Nothing to say? I hit the nail on the head didn’t I?” She put an arm around my shoulder. Normally I would’ve pushed her off and cursed her out. But I was already so down in the dumps that I didn’t see any harm in entertaining her. Maybe I would even get to the bottom of what exactly her business with Paul really was.

“Since you’re so persistent on trying to figure out what’s up with me, Paul’s been giving me the silent treatment since the evening dinner. I haven’t seen Dylan or even really talked to him since then.” Her sharp eyebrows raised at my admission.

“Oh, really? Well that’s really not unlike Dr. Gray.” She moved her hand front to back, scrutinizing her manicure.

“What do you mean?” Lorrie sounded like she knew more about him than I did. Though it pissed me off to admit it.

“Paul Gray is hot and cold April. You only get the level of success that man has by being absolutely ruthless. Cutting your losses and striving for the top. By any means necessary. Did it never occur to you that it’s pretty odd that a Cardiac Surgeon became a billionaire? That never struck you as odd?”

She had a good point. And I knew that first hand. “Glory mission” anyone?

Suddenly I regretted moving as fast with Paul as I did. I started to regret everything. Not being able to resist his perfectly sculpted body or his handsome chiseled face. Falling for the mesmerizing sound of his voice.

The pit of regret in my stomach was so deep.

“Honestly, I never thought about it. But I guess you’re right. Still, I’m sure that Paul means well at the end of the day. I don’t think he’d ever do anything to hurt me.”

Her voice was shrill when she gave out a condescending laugh. “Don’t get too close to the fire. You might get burned.”

With that, she awkwardly walked away from my car, swaying her hips back and forth like nothing happened.

I got in my car and drove back to my apartment.

My thoughts were all over the place the whole way there.

Lorrie had it out for Paul, I just knew it. There was no way she was doing anything with the intention of helping me. She didn’t even know me.

Double agent with ulterior motives.

That’s exactly what she was.

* * *

Judy laid on the sofa when I got back to the apartment. Flipping through magazines and watching TV, she was too preoccupied with entertainment to notice my distress.

And I was thankful.

I didn’t need to rehash all of the shit that was spinning in my mind.

“Hey April, don’t think you’re gonna walk in the house and not say hi to me. What’s on your brain girl?!”

Guess I was wrong.

She leaped up from the sofa and plunged into me with a firm embrace.

“Hi Judy.” My voice was so monotone. Cringy. Like I was turning emo or something.

Judy frowned and touched my forehead. “Are you sick? Do I need to take you to a doctor? What the hell is up?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m just worried about doing hospital rotations soon. That’s all. Don’t worry about it Judes. Besides, that Maury re-run you’re watching seems way more interesting than me.”

“You know what? You’re right. That guy’s girlfriend just found out he cheated on her with four different girls.” She gave me a pat on the back and bounced back over to the sofa to watch TV.

Hospital rotations…right. I’d be stuck in the Cardiac Department at UCLA medical center with Paul. I was so excited about it a few weeks ago. But now the thought was just really awkward. I couldn’t even really look him in the face anymore. How the hell was I supposed to practice operating with him?

Dragging my feet to my room, I laid on my bed in a puddle of my shitty emotions. Life went from climbing up, to skyrocketing down.

Two weeks later

Today was my first day at the medical center and the first day I’d see Paul since we had that terrible argument. I was half looking forward to it and half dreading it. I didn’t know what to expect. The anticipation was driving me insane.