35
Sitting in the den, an opened book in her lap, Zoë’s hopeful mood of yesterday was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t help but worry about why she hadn’t heard from him yet, and stared at her phone, atop the small table beside the chair. What was taking so long? Sure, she liked Bison Bluffs, and loved the ranch, but the longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave.
“Expecting a call?”
Startled by Ethan’s appearance, not having heard him enter the room, she shook her head. “No. Why?”
“Because you’re staring at your phone as if willing it to ring.”
“Zandra said she might call,” she lied, “but it’s not a big deal, we’re just working out our plans for Saturday.”
After crossing the floor, he knelt before her, moved her book to the table, and then placed his hands on her knees. “Well, I might have hidden something in this room. Wanna find it?”
His crooked grin drew a smile from her, despite her disposition. He’d conceived a game and they were playing it this week. Having stashed condoms all through the house, the game consisted of him finding her in a room, and then the pair having sex within said room. So far, they’d christened quite a few rooms, but the den wasn’t one of them. While she loved the game, she just wasn’t in the mood, and she gently pushed his hands away.
“I’m not really feeling it right now. Sorry.”
“No worries.” He tilted his head. “Wanna talk about whom you’re really waiting to hear from?”
Pissed he saw through her lie, she narrowed her eyes. “I told you. I’m expecting Zandra’s call. Not that it’s any of your business who calls me.”
He sat back on his feet. “You’re right. It’s not. We’re not in a relationship.”
His tone was snippy, making her angrier. “No, we’re not,” she shot back.
After raising a brow, he pursed his lips. “What are we doing?”
“We’re supposed to be having fun, that’s all.”
Her tone was harsher than she’d intended, and he averted his eyes as his shoulders slumped. She’d hurt him and, while not intending to do so, she figured now was as good a time as any to reset ground rules he’d apparently forgotten.
“You said you wouldn’t push me to answer questions about my past, but here you are, doing just that. I told you I wouldn’t stand for you poking into my past, and I meant it.” She blew out a sharp breath, trying to calm her raging emotions. “I think we should dial this back.”
His head jerked up at her last comment. Now he looked angry. “Did I say I wanted a relationship with you? No, I didn’t, because I don’t. If I were to be in a relationship, it would be with someone I could confide in and who would confide in me. It would be an equal relationship, not whatever this is between us.”
“I’m sorry,” she blurted, shocked at his outburst. “I shouldn’t have implied anything.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” His tone was gentler, and he made eye contact with her again. Despite his words, she swore she saw affection in his eyes. “Look, you’re obviously in a bad mood, let’s just forget about it, and move on. If you want to slow things down, or stop entirely, fine. The sex is great, and I thought it was working for us, but if it isn’t, so be it. It would be weird to be around one another and pretend like we’re just co-workers, but if that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
“No, that’s not what I want. I—” She shook her head. “You’re right, I’m in a bad mood and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.”
“So, you don’t want to end things?”
“No.”
He nodded and, leaning forward once more, placed his hands on her knees. She covered them with hers. Despite everything he’d said, she could still see hurt in his eyes, along with the affection that shone so brightly. Affection for her. It caused her throat to tighten. She was deceitful with him, but he was just as deceitful. Regardless of his words, it was evident he wanted more from their relationship.
As he laid his head in her lap, he pushed his hands behind her to wrap his arms around her. His motions weren’t sexual, they were loving. She lightly raked her fingertips through his hair, while her heart screamed at her. It begged her to turn him away, to end things between them before she hurt him further. Continuing her gentle movements, she didn’t heed her heart. It cracked with the knowledge she’d devastate him when she did leave the ranch, but also with another truth. She, too, wanted more from their relationship, so much more, but couldn’t have it.