CHAPTER THREE

THE FOLLOWING MORNING, I head over to the vegan bagel place to retrieve my misplaced package. I wasn’t ready to face Val last night so soon after what happened between us. I needed some time to get over the sting and regroup. I can’t believe she ran off on me like that. I mean, what the fuck was that? I have absolutely no clue what her deal is, but I’m more determined now than ever to get that girl on my dick. I spent half the night imagining her clenching around my cock. The way it would feel to be sheathed in that tight cunt.

The bell chimes as I enter the shop, drawing me from my thoughts, which is a damn good thing because I don’t need another boner I can’t do anything with right now. It’s nearly empty as it’s only a little after eight in the morning. There’s an eclectic looking couple seated in the back corner, completely enamored with each other.

“Can I help you?” a tall, willowy brunette, who looks to be in her early thirties, greets as I walk through the door. Her demeanor is anything but welcoming. “Nobody beats Pete’s Meats,” she snarks. “Clever.” I probably should have taken off the bloody apron before walking over. Mistake numero uno on my part.

Still, I’m a little taken aback by the ugliness in her tone. I don’t even know this—I glance at her nametag—Vanessa, who is apparently the manager, which is also stated on her little metal pin. “I think so.” I smile. She doesn’t.

“Well, this definitely isn’t your sort of establishment, so what can we do for you, before you scare off our customers?” She makes a grimace at the red splotches on my apron.

Being the nice guy that I am, I remove it, balling it up in my hand. “Whoops. Sorry ’bout that.”

“I’ll bet,” she says, turning her nose in the air. What is this chick’s deal?

Vanessa’s eyes move across my chest, and at first, I think she may be checking me out. It takes me a moment to realize that she’s just reading my shirt. Oh fuck. My shirt that reads, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Unless he’s a vegetarian. Then you can get there through his vagina.” I should’ve taken my chances with the apron. My cheeks heat with embarrassment and I cross my arms over my chest, forcing a smile. “I actually just stopped by because Valerie said we had a package that got delivered here yesterday afternoon by mistake.”

She nods, her eyes narrowing. If she didn’t like me before, she fucking hates me now. “I figured that you would have come by last night to pick that up.”

“Sorry, I got a little—” Valerie appears through the double doors behind the counter, tripping me up for a second “—distracted last night and forgot to swing by.”

Val freezes, holding a tray of bagels. Her eyes lock with mine. Her mouth drops in surprise.

“Valerie!” Vanessa shouts over her shoulder.

Val jumps and the pallet of bread crashes to the floor.

“Oh shoot. I didn’t realize you were behind me,” Vanessa says, sounding contrite, although she never moves a muscle to help her.

Automatically, I rush around to assist Val with the mess.

“Thank you,” my new friend utters at the same time that Vanessa rips me a new asshole.

“You don’t belong back here. You’re going to insult our customers and contaminate this place with your animal...juices.” She visibly cringes. “Get out from behind my counter!”

“Val would know a thing or two about my juices,” I mutter just loud enough for Valerie to hear before winking and walking back around to the front of the shop.

“Val will take care of your package, and then you can be on your way.”

I can’t help myself. “I would love nothing more than to have my new pal, Val, handle my package.”

Vanessa crosses her arms over her chest as a blush spreads from Valerie’s cheeks down her neck. She’s almost the same color as the red romper she’s wearing this morning. “Trust me, Val is not your pal.”

I shrug, giving Val a knowing smile. “If you say so, Cruella.”

Vanessa gasps. “Valerie, fetch this man’s box, please, so he can be on his way.”

Val nods before scurrying back through the double doors behind the counter.

“I don’t expect to see you back in my shop, Mr. Johnson. We are strictly cruelty free. I’m sure you’ll understand why we can’t have an animal killer in this establishment.”

Biting down on my lip, I shake my head and laugh. “Of course. Wouldn’t dream of tainting you with my meat.”

Valerie busts out laughing, nearly dropping the box as she returns right at that moment.

“Thanks, pal,” I say, rescuing the package from her arms just before it too is sent crashing to the floor. “See ya around.”

“Not likely,” her boss chimes from behind the counter.

I nod, pushing the door open with my hip. “See what you’ll end up like if you don’t get enough protein?” My face is fixed on Val’s as my eyes roam over to Vanessa. “I’m happy to fix you up with whatever type of meat fits your fancy. And just so you know, protein injections happen to be my specialty.” I give her one last wink as I make my way back over to my shop.

§

“How’d it go?” Jerome asks as I drop the box of sausage links at his feet. “You get some vag from vegan Val?” My best friend starts gyrating to the R&B music playing in the shop.

“Not yet, but I will.”

Jerome laughs. “You think just because you got to finger fuck that girl yesterday she’s gonna fall all over your jock?”

I shrug. “That’s usually how it happens.”

“She’s got innocence written all over her pretty face. You got lucky, Johnson. Besides, vegans don’t eat meat or animal byproducts.”

He’s losing me here. “Okay...I’m not trying to get the girl to eat my dick, Jerome.”

“You really want a spitter?” His brows raise. “Ain’t nobody got time for that nonsense.”

Ahhh. Semen. “You think?”

“I dunno, dude. I’m just saying. I did a little research after meeting one of their employees, Vickie, a few days ago—”

“Vickie, eh?”

“Yeah. So, she’s a vegan too, and I had to see what that shit was all about...if she was even worth my time, you know?”

“And you’ve determined?”

“Fuck naw, man. That bitch was already playing hard to get. Trying to guilt me into eating tofu. Men don’t eat fucking tofu.” His face puckers in disgust, and I can’t help but laugh.

Valerie, Vickie, and Vanessa, the vegans. I’m starting to wonder if my little vixen isn’t playing the part for her job. What kind of fucking coincidence is it that they all have names beginning with V? I’ll be heartbroken if I find out she’s not really a Cooter.

“Yeah, well, I’ll take my chances.”

“I’ll bet you five hundred bucks you can’t get that girl to swallow your nut.”

Feeling a little confident after last night, I accept his wager. “You’re on.”