Chapter 1
Janet was sitting in a large office, staring out across the skyline. The office was at the top of the building, grand and sprawling. There were leather chairs dotted around the room, artwork hanging off the walls and a sleek desk in the middle of the room.
Janet had turned away from all of that, so that she could, instead, look out of the window and enjoy the view, take it all in and think. She wasn’t in a happy mood, not particularly, but the sting of grief had lessened, at least a little bit.
This had been her father’s office, and she found herself sitting in it now, feeling unbearably alone. She sighed, the sound heavy and far too loud in the silence of the room. This had been her father’s desk, his chair. This was where he had worked hard to build the company up from scratch, this was where he had sat and discussed the world and the changes that he was making in it. This room held her father’s presence. His ghost.
Janet turned and rubbed at her eyes, feeling a dull ache in her chest. Janet had never truly known her father, had never truly known him as a person, or as a figure present in her life. He worked hard to run the company, worked hard to give Janet and her mother a great life, a life where they did not have to struggle. He worked deeply at this every single day of his life.
He stayed late at the office and often worked weekends. He worked hard, and Janet could never be angry at him for that. Still, it left a dull sort of ache, a hole where intense grief should be. She didn’t know how to mourn him, how to mourn a man who she loved, and yet barely knew, in every sense of the word.
He had been a good father and she held no ill will towards him, but at the same time, she didn’t know how to miss him, how to feel his absence like a hole in her chest. He had never really been around enough for Janet to learn about him, to learn what he liked, what he enjoyed, what made him tick. She didn’t know what he liked, didn’t know what he enjoyed, and didn’t know why he was so driven to work and work and work. She had barely known him, when it came down to it and the thought sent a dull sort of ache through Janet, a twinge of pain in her chest.
She wished that she felt more pain and sorrow, wished that she felt his loss more keenly. Still, she was saddened by his loss, she felt the pain of everything in her life changing, everything shifting, the grief that piled and pooled around her, driven by people who knew him better than she ever could.
Janet sighed and looked out of the window. And then there was the added responsibilities that were being heaped on Janet, the added things that she had to focus on, had to think about, had to plan for and sort and do her best to make sure she had a good grip on.
With her father gone, Janet was next in line to manage the business. He had never released his full ownership of the company and so he had passed it to Janet. Janet had studied business at college- her father had insisted, but other than that, she had no real idea about what made this company tick.
It was the family business, the business that her father had built up from scratch, built up from nothing at all. It was to be revered, it was special and sacred and it was supposed to light a fire inside of her. But, put simply, Janet didn’t know what she was doing when it came to running this business. She didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing when she spoke with clients. She didn’t know what his end goal had been, and how she was meant to shape and mold this business in the right way.
She understood the basics, of course, but every company ran differently and Janet was still trying to figure out the company culture. This was her office now, technically speaking, but she couldn’t have felt more out of place. This room was full of her father’s ghosts, ghosts of a company she didn’t understand, ghosts of a man she never really got to know.
She shuddered and looked back out the window. The city sprawled beneath them, layer after layer of buildings, of smoke and lights and people. It was incredible to see it from this height, incredible to think how many hundreds and thousands of people might live in this city, might love just below, just out of sight.
Janet turned around, her hand falling on a book. It was an old book. One of her father’s favorites, full of poetry and stories with deeper meaning. Janet lingered on it for a moment before she glanced at the desk, where a ticket lay, printed out and ready to go.
A plane ticket. A plane ticket to South Africa, where her father had been killed. She shifted in her seat, feeling the discomfort creep into her chest. He hadn’t been killed by accident, and it hadn’t been a curse of crime or something like that.
No, from the reports that she had received, it sounded like this had been very much on purpose. He had been killed on purpose by an extremist faction, who was opposed to her father’s work. She swallowed deeply as she considered it.
The company dealt in diamonds, which was always a touchy subject around the world. It was important that she made sure she understood the climate in the diamond industry and she had been reading up about it. Evidently, the extremists were claiming that her father’s company traded in blood diamonds, and lives of their countrymen in neighboring countries were being slaughtered for profit.
They had been angry when they had killed him and Janet felt like a stone was dropping into her stomach. She had no idea if what they were saying was true or not, but the thought made her sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to believe that her father had done anything wrong, and the fear at the thought of him being attacked and killed like that, lingered like a bad taste in her mouth.
What if she was attacked next? What if they went after her instead of her father? She felt a pang in her stomach. It was silly to think like that, silly to let fear creep into her mind and stay there, lying quiet and waiting. It was silly to be driven by what ifs, especially as she had a job to do.
Janet steadied herself and took a deep breath. It had been a lot to take in, a lot to try and handle and consider and figure out. It was a lot to manage in her head and try and learn about this all at once, but Janet was determined to try. She didn’t want to take up the family business and try to smooth out the latest business deal. She didn’t want to take charge of it all and keep the company afloat, but Janet didn’t know what else to do.
This was still her father’s company, her family’s security and dream. She couldn’t just let it all crumble around her while she sat and did nothing. She was intelligent and hardworking and she could figure this out.
At least, that was what she repeated to herself over and over. Finally, Janet pushed herself up, her legs aching from being still for so long. She grabbed the ticket and stuffed it into her wallet, tucking it away and making sure that it was safe and hidden. Then she looked and checked her cards, her passport and other identification. She checked that she had all the business documents, hotel room numbers and other numbers that she might need.
In a spur of the moment decision, Janet pocketed the book as well, sliding it into her bag. Satisfied that she had everything she needed, Janet made her way to the door of the room. Somehow, it was always hard to leave this room.
On one hand, she was eager to leave, leave the ghosts and the responsibilities behind her, cast it off and go back to how life was before. But, on the other hand, it felt like turning her back on her past, turning her back on her father and the life that he had built for them.
She lingered, her hand resting on the door frame as she stared back into the room, into the darkness that was starting to descend on the furniture, “I’ll be back.” She whispered, murmuring the words almost like a prayer. She would be back. She’d sort this out.
She’d manage the company, she wouldn’t let it crumble. Somehow, she would learn as she went.