Chapter six
Nicole
Nicole couldn't believe she was in bed again with Duke. She'd been pissed at him all day after the way he left this morning, leaving her after only being awake for thirty seconds. Yet, as soon as he walked in she felt the air in the bar come alive and the unsettled feeling in her stomach disappeared. She couldn't resist him. So much for her plan to make him beg next time. She'd had to listen to the club sluts talking loudly, for her benefit, that Duke liked to put it about, never slept with the same girl for more than two days and that his apartment was the equivalent of Hugh Hefner's grotto. Jealousy had risen its ugly head and she'd wanted to punch each one of them in the face. Luckily, she was savvy enough to know when she was being baited and so pretended to not hear them. It didn't have the same level of satisfaction that a swift kick in the shin would have had, but she enjoyed imagining it anyway.
Being hooked on a guy this quick was so unlike her. She had entrusted Duke with her body and was constantly overwhelmed by his presence. She wasn't irresponsible like her Dad and letting Duke take her last night, especially without a condom, had her questioning her sanity. She made her last boyfriend wait nearly two months before they'd slept together, yet here she was in bed with Duke after knowing him for only two days.
She was looking for something permanent not throw-away. That was why she'd made her last boyfriend wait. She thought if he valued her and got to know her that he'd appreciate her all the more in the end. How wrong one person can be. It turned out he was getting it elsewhere, that was why he hadn't pressured her. Not quite the good guy she had him pegged to be.
She really didn't know anything about Duke at all. She'd watched him interact with his brothers. The friendship and loyalty he showed towards them was great to see. She also saw how he was with the club sluts, and he acted the complete opposite. He ignored them and brushed them off him like an unwanted fly when they tried to touch him. She knew he'd slept with almost all of them at some point. The sluts had made sure she knew that. She couldn't help but feel like she was destined to become one of them, clamouring for a scrap of his attention while he moved on to a new slut. Is that what she was now? A slut? She knew that right now she could walk away from Duke, move on and not look back. However, there was a big part of her that looked forward to a happy ending, it kept her hopeful, not jaded and made her want to give Duke a chance – if he wanted it. It was time for her to be brave, take a risk and stop planning for disaster. Only time would give her an answer.
They'd started to chat about general stuff in the short breaks between fucking, things that would be found out on a first date. She chuckled to herself that most first dates take place in a restaurant, not a bed, yet she wouldn't change a thing. She would have never guessed that his name was Aaron Banks and that his brother, Razor was called Nate Banks.
"What did you think my name was?" He laughed at her shocked face when he told her. Nicole didn't really see Aaron Banks as his name at all, he was simply, Duke.
"I don't know. I guess something like Studly von Studlyson!" They both cracked up at her insane suggestion.
Now here she was, lying in his bed for the second night in a row. Duke was lazily running his hand up and down her arm, listening to her telling him about where she grew up when he abruptly paused. Keeping hold of her wrist, he rolled and switched on his bedside light. Glancing at his face, Nicole saw that he looked furious.
"What the fuck are these?" His thumb was rubbing over her wrist and then he reached for her other and did the same.
"My scars?" She was puzzled at his reaction. Why was he so angry? They weren't a big deal.
"My scars? Yes, your fucking scars!" He'd managed to yell through gritted teeth.
"I thought you'd recognise them...." That had been the wrong thing to say. He was going nuclear. She could see his temple was throbbing on the side of his head and his eyes turned deadly. She quickly clarified. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant they're from handcuffs and wires. I didn't do it to myself."
She lowered her head at what he must think of her. Growing up in poor areas she was no stranger to suicides. They weren't common, but they weren't rare either. People got desperate and searched for a way out and finding none, they grew desperate. She understood that, even though she would never contemplate it herself. Duke must of thought she'd self harmed. She hated her scars. Like everything else in her life that she didn't want, she had learned to live with them.
"There's more than one or two here, and a couple are fucking thick. Who did this to you? Tell me now, Nicole." He lifted her chin and she knew he wasn't playing around. His brown eyes stared into hers, unwavering in their intensity.
"I don't know all their names. They're from where I was bound when my Dad put me in messes like the one I'm in now. When I was young I got really frightened and used to fight against the restraints, that's what caused these. I've got some on my ankles too. It's not a big deal, Duke, I don't notice them anymore."
She could feel her eyes starting to well up as he forced her to recall every instance she remembered. She detested bringing up these memories, but he'd been unwavering in his stance to find out. When she finished he had calmed down but there was a cold fury inside him that she'd seen grow with each recollection. His gentle caresses and small kisses he placed on her wrists and ankles as she talked drew the truth out of her. His long assessing looks made her think he could see into her soul, to the deep scars left behind by her Dad every time he offered her up as some sort of bargaining chip.
"Baby, I promise these will never be added to, not while I'm alive. I'll protect you. You're safe with me.”
Nicole broke down. Tears streamed down her cheeks, soaking the pillow she tried to hide her face in. Duke pulled her into his arms and gently rocked her until she calmed. Those words meant more to her than all the money in the world ever could. Here in Duke’s arms, she was safe for the first time in her life.
“You're Dad should have kept you safe. It's the ultimate betrayal from a parent when they don't. It cuts deeper than any knives ever could and leaves bigger scars.”
She could tell by his voice he was speaking from experience. Looking up into his hard eyes, she knew now wasn't the time to ask about it, but a new sense of finding a kindred spirit smoothed over her past hurts.
Nicole had been asked countless times why she still had anything to do with her Dad and advised that she should cut all ties. It was easier said than done. He was the only family she had and she didn't want to be alone in the world. She wanted to feel connected to someone, to belong to someone, even if it was her scumbag father. She had no memory of her mother who had left them when Nicole was nearly two. Her Dad never spoke about her and always shouted if Nicole brought her up. He had never let the system take Nicole from him, even though sometimes it had seemed that it was very close to happening. He would always move them some place new and promise things would get better. At times they did, at times they really didn't. She knew it was up to her to break this cycle, to move away and stay away. She had planned to for years, but always stalled when the time came.
She only ever spent the bare minimum of any pay check she earned and the rest was hidden and saved. Nicole tended to come away from times like this with nothing if she didn't take precautions like that. Her home would have been raided by whoever her dad owed. There was never anything of value to find, most of her things were bought from yard sales. That never stopped them destroying everything in sight though. She has a safe deposit box that she keeps any mementos that mean something to her in, along with the few pieces of jewellery that she had been given by friends or boyfriends. They had little value but they meant the world to her. She revealed all this to Duke, laid herself bare yet again. Duke had listened to her ramble on and had sadness and pity in his eyes now. She didn't want that. Finished, she stared at the bed spread waiting for whatever he was going to say. He kept silent. She was broken. No man wanted a woman like her for keeps. Her baggage needed its own zip code.
It seemed her risk of taking a chance hadn't paid off. There would be no happy ending for her. Then his hand tipped her chin up. The look in his eyes had changed but she couldn't label it. She'd never been looked at like that before. It stripped back all her layers and made her utterly vulnerable to what he would do next. Nicole held her breath as Duke slowly leaned towards her. Her heart momentarily stalled and then started to race as he pressed soft kisses on her mouth, keeping eye contact the whole time. He blanketed her with comfort. Their kissing grew more passionate and she let her thoughts escape into the back of her mind as he pleasured her over and over before she fell asleep in his arms. She felt sated, cared for and like she'd finally found her home.
******
Over the next ten weeks, Nicole spent every night with Duke in his bed and every day in the kitchen or behind the bar serving the brothers. She really didn't mind the tasks she was given. They'd stopped feeling like orders weeks ago and now she did them because she wanted to. She wanted to help out. She enjoyed the company and banter they shared and it was great to cook with proper ingredients. The only channel that was clear on her TV at home had been the Food Network, so she had plenty of ideas that she got to try out on the brothers.
It had taken her a few days to wrap her head around the portion sizes the brothers expected, although she never had any complaints. More and more of the brothers turned up at the compound at lunch and dinner until practically every brother, old lady and prospect turned up for most meals, plus, kids were added at the weekend. Duke liked to joke that her cooking was costing the club a fortune in groceries and behind the bar. What could she say? The brothers liked a beer with their meal. His comment secretly thrilled her.
It felt great to be taking care of others instead of only herself for a change and it filled a need inside her that she didn't even know she had. The brothers had become her family. They teased her, bantered with her and generally kept her upbeat with their outrageous stories of drunken escapades. She'd even become something of an Agony Aunt to some of the prospects who liked to vent to her about their families or girlfriends.
The brothers also created a barrier between her and the club sluts. After sleeping in Duke’s bed for a full week, they had tried making her life hell. They attempted to turn the brothers against her by talking shit and made any task she was given twice as hard by messing it up. Helen once slipped onto Kings' knee while he was eating and tasted his food. After she declared it disgusting, she was shoved from his lap and all the club sluts were banned from eating the clubs' food, unless it was a party. Nicole had wanted to cheer with pom-poms after seeing everyone agree, having her back, while Helen was left red-faced and snarling.
The odd nights Duke was away on club business she still slept in his bed trying hard to fall asleep. Sleeping without Duke had become more and more difficult. He claimed the same thing with her. Once he swept her up into his arms when he got back from an overnight run and pounded his way up the stairs to his apartment. She got excited and so wet at the prospect of being thrown down on his bed and sexed into oblivion. He stripped her quickly before collapsing beside her. He wound himself around her and pulled up the covers. She remembered being totally confused until he buried his nose in her neck and drew in a long breath.
“Fuck, baby. I couldn't get a fucking minute of sleep without you under me. I'm good for fuck all right now.”
Two minutes later he was lightly snoring. She giggled to herself before settling down and taking a nap that she needed too, luxuriating in his warmth and smell.
He'd started to open up more to her about his life before the club. Razor and Duke were raised in foster care and group homes until Duke was eighteen and left, taking Razor with him. He hated his mother who had abandoned them.
“Out mother was a total bitch. Why she ever had kids is a mystery to me. She made it damn clear to me and Razor that she wished we'd never been born – it was her version of good morning. I hardened to it pretty quickly, but I always knew it got to Razor more than he let on. Nights when she didn't come back, he'd worry, where I'd be just fucking grateful.”
He talked briefly about all the men who she paraded through their house and allowed to beat on him and Razor. As he spoke she clung tighter to him. He never seemed weak or vulnerable while he was talking, she did it for her comfort more than his. He never gave more details than he wanted to and she never pressed him for them. The rare times he spoke of his mother was in a monotone voice. Her abandonment of him and his brother had definitely left its mark.
He built up quite a reputation as a thug in his time in foster care and as soon as he was released he starting working for a gang as an enforcer. He described his job as “breaking bones and collecting debts.” He did this for three years until the gang made a deal with Fallen MC.
“I was at the meeting. I can't remember what shit it was over but Prod, the gang boss, pulled me and all the other enforcers in to add to his protection. Fallen had a fucking ruthless reputation and everyone knew sure as shit not to mess with them. Prod always acted invincible and I was excited to see what could rattle the bastard. In walked Prez, followed by only three other brothers. One was Hollywood, the other two are old-timers now and aren't around much. There was eleven of us standing there, and in Fallen walked, just four brothers and they totally dominated the meeting. You could just see the bond between them. There was no doubt about who'd have their back or if they were about to be screwed over. They were solid and I was drawn to it. I wanted that too. Two days after the meeting me and Razor approached Reaper, who was VP at the time, about being recruited and the rest is history. Prod tried to have me taken out but my brothers took care of it, just like I'd do for any of them.”
Nicole knew that Duke saw Fallen as his family now, a family without the hassle and heartbreak a 'traditional' family can bring. From starting as a prospect right up to being voted VP, he gave everything to the club and never let anything interfere with that. Nicole didn't know anything about living as a traditional family either, but she wouldn't mind finding out. She wanted to belong to someone too and in her heart she knew she wanted it to be Duke. She'd never had the stability that he treasured so much. She could see why he'd do anything to hold on to it.
She started to spend more of her free time with the brothers, Shel and Jewel. Not just at meals. She really liked them all and they treated her well. Even Prez had thawed towards her. Shel and Jewel liked to tease that she was going to be the next old lady, yet Duke had never mentioned anything like that. It chipped away at her that maybe he never thought of her the way she thought of him. She tried not to let it show or affect her, but when she was alone she felt sad to her bones. She loved her life now. She never imagined living in an MC. She'd even vowed to herself years ago to escape any kind of life like this but now she wanted it more than anything.
She'd ended up telling Shel and Jewel her life story one night during a drunken pity party, leaving all three of them tear stained and sharing a gallon of ice cream that they had hidden away. Then Jewel, in her drunken haze, had tried to jump on Hollywood from behind for a hug. She somehow missed his massive body and landed a few feet from where he was standing. So, the rest of the night was spent in hysterics on the floor.
She dreaded her Dad finishing his business with Fallen MC as her time with them and Duke would be up. She knew in every corner of her soul that she didn't want to leave. Duke never made any mention of her staying at all and she dreaded having to separate from him. Nicole thought about bringing it up. She just didn't have the nerve. She was afraid it would push him away and she didn't want to be without him sooner than she had to, so, she never bought it up in conversation. Not that it's easy to slip into such a discussion casually.
Nicole loved it when she was able to get him to smile or laugh. She loved how possessive he was of her and how he never tried to hide it, he'd grab and kiss her at every opportunity and didn't take kindly to any comments coming her way from his brothers. She loved his loyalty to his club and the little bubble he and she had when they were on their own. Sure, he was a moody son of a bitch at times, rude, cantankerous and hot headed, but she loved those things about him as well. She just plain and simple loved him and wished she knew how he felt about her. A massive part of her was afraid to find out and happy to live in blissful ignorance. She'd heard from more than one source that Duke had always stated that he never wanted to settle down.
She was dreading next week when Duke and most of the brothers would be away for five days to a week, and to make matters worse, Shel and Jewel were going on the run with them. She had no idea where exactly they were going or what they were doing. It was club business and it wasn't for her to know. She accepted that. Nicole had a feeling she'd be spending most of her time in Duke's apartment watching movies with Slam, who thankfully wasn't going along. Shel said she thought she could have easily talked Prez around into letting her ride with Duke. However, if anyone from Riot MC saw her with them it could start a war they weren't ready for. The last thing she wanted was to put anyone in danger.